I’m not a doctor and I don’t pretend to be one. Before I start this, I know not all doctor’s are the same – I just wanted to share my experiences as an obese woman and the reactions of my various doctors through the years. I never liked going to the doctor and once my weight ballooned my intense dislike of doctor visits increased exponentially. I was never sure which was more embarrassing, standing on the scale, listening to the nurse’s sharp intake of breath, or having the doctor see the number on the chart.
Standing on the scale held a shame of its own. My mind would race with ideas on how to avoid the scale, but each idea was as fruitless as the one before. I’d reluctantly follow the nurse all the while trying to decide whether it would be more embarrassing to take my shoes off or weigh one pound more. I usually took my shoes off, often joking with the nurse, “These shoes are really heavy.” She’d nod knowingly and proceed to get the scale set. She’d start the big weight at 150, quickly see that wasn’t going to work, and loudly clunk it over to 200. Clearly she had a perception problem. I wanted to yell at her, “I weighed 275 last time woman – do I look any smaller to you?!” But I restrained myself, and stood obediently on the scale as she once again flipped the big weight. Now we were getting somewhere. Sliding the thingy over, she’d record my weight and cheerfully say, “Follow me.” We’d walk single file to the exam room where she’d leave me to anticipate all the terrible things my doctor might say about my weight gain.
Would he yell? Would he get frustrated? Would he cry? The waiting in the exam room seemed eternal, and it actually was, but the doctor would finally come in and say, “How are you doing today Diane?” I’d exchange pleasantries with him, but the whole time I was anticipating his comments about my weight. I had reason to worry, for because we lived in the same town for a long time, I had had the same group of doctors for years. They had seen me expand from an average size to a plus sized woman and beyond. But surprisingly, only twice in the ten years I was obese did a doctor ever comment on my astonishing weight gain. My anticipation and anxiety were ill placed, and unfounded, but I still experienced it each and every time I visited the doctor.
The first time a doctor commented on my weight was when I went over the 200 mark. He said, “Diane, you are such a young woman. You really should do something about your weight.” I nodded and said I had joined Weight Watchers recently. I didn’t tell him I had also stopped at McDonald’s for a chocolate milk shake for fortification on the way there though! He then continued, “You’d lose weight on your own if you would just eat a piece of chicken for dinner and take a walk.” I looked at that man in disbelief. That was his advice? Eat a piece of chicken and take a walk? I had been eating enough chicken to turn into one, and I certainly hadn’t lost any weight. And as for walking, did having to park in the back of the lot count? I dismissed his advice as lame and went merrily along. The second time a doctor commented on my weight was several years after the first incident. An OB/GYN said to me, “You know, it’s pretty unusual to be able to get pregnant at your weight. A lot of people with weight issues have fertility problems.” That was it. I took it as a compliment, and kept right on eating.
These days I have mixed feelings about doctor’s weight loss advice. It seems to me that some doctors avoid the subject entirely, and some can’t seem to let it go. With the obesity epidemic climbing I would like to see doctors offer real life, practical advice to overweight patients. As a previously overweight woman I didn’t want to hear it, but I should have been hearing it. In the weight loss classes I’ve taught the situations are mixed. Some of their doctors offer advice and others ignore their weight like the proverbial “elephant in the room.” My advice to you is this: If you are having trouble with your weight, talk to your doctor even if he/she doesn’t bring it up. Initiate a conversation with them about your concerns and perhaps their advice and your concern can help you get motivated to change. Diane
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Hi, Diane! Thanks for visiting my blog. I’ve been reading through your story, your articles and your tips. You’ve got some awesome content here! I had been walking regularly for a couple of years and had started eating healthy, but my weight loss was agonizingly slow. I mentioned it to my doctor (70-something need to retire civilian working at the AF Academy) and he said “Oh, you have to cut out carbs and do the South Beach Diet if you want to lose weight quickly.” HELLO???? What a bunch of crap! I had just watched my husband lose 100 pounds in one year by simply “deciding to eat healthy.” (I lost 15 pounds in that year.) He didn’t even exercise because he had an arthritic hip and the pain prevented him from doing anything strenuous.
Starting in Feb of this year, I followed the plan in The Flat Belly Diet book, which is a lifestyle, not a “quick fix, magic pill” kind of thing. It was the first thing that really worked for me and it’s very easy to follow. When people notice my weight loss and ask what I’m doing, I always say “Eating healthy and getting regular exercise!” I know they are hoping to hear they can take a pill and weight will magically fall off of their body, but it always comes back to the basics. Good food and good activity.
Will be putting your blog in my faves!
Thanks for the nice words! I loved your comment about the “older” doctor. I wonder if he would have followed his own advice had he been struggling with his weight?! You are right, the only way to have long term success is by changing our lifestyles to include exercise, and healthy eating. I haven’t read the book you are following, but I’ll add it to my list of summer reads. Here’s another book I want to read this summer that is by Dr. David Kessler called “The End of Overeating.”
I appreciate your comments very much! Diane
About doctors and weight loss advice. I think doctors are afraid to offend their overweight patients. They need to think it through and be ready to bring it up if the patient doesn’t. When I have asked my doctors about weight issues they have discussed the problem with me compationately but not necessarily very helpfully. Everyone seems to be left to find a plan on their own. I kind of hoped they would refer me to a nutritionist or something, but that never happened. I hope as more people are obese that they will be better trained to deal with the issue.
This is my day to catch up on your blog. Thanks for all the good advice.
Margaret,
I’m so glad you are catching up today! You are right – doctors are afraid of offending people. In fact, today on the Fox News website I saw a clip where two of the commentators were discussing how some doctor’s had been sued by their overweight patients for suggesting they were overweight! I was once referred to a nutritionist, but only went twice because she was trying to tell me what to eat!
It’s very rare to be weighed by a Dr in Australia (where I live when I am not in Spain) but I once told a Dr I was concerned about my weight gain (I was a size 12 back then) he told me to stop eating breakfast!
Before I left Australia I put on a lot of weight in a short amount of time. When I went to see my Dr to have my medical records to take overseas with me, he took one look at my hips and “What happened to you, why did you do that to yourself” I have been nervous about medical visits ever since
I wanted to mention one other situation. I struggled with eating disorders for many years. When I was 19 and 2 years into my disorder I decided to see a dietician to get some help as I knew what I was doing was wrong and did not know how to stop.
I embarrasingly confessed that I would overeat, and get rid of the food by using laxettes, excessive exercise and induced vomiting. He told me “not to worry, lots of young girls control their weight like that”
I walked away $90 poorer and feeling silly about something that was obviously “normal”.
I spent the next decade fully emerged and miserable in a never ending cycle of disordered eating.
That was terrible advice! I hope you don’t struggle with that disorder anymore! If you do, hopefully you can find a doctor that can offer healthy advice and not stupid, dangerous advice.