I love to cook all kinds of food. That wasn’t always the case, as when I first got married the only thing I knew how to make for a dinner meal was white rice and plain chicken. I couldn’t make dinner, but I sure could make some wicked desserts. Cakes with chocolate ganache, cookies simple and complex, pies, and more were well within my repertoire. As John and I traveled through our first years of marriage, I happily baked, went out to eat, and put on some weight, unaware of the extreme weight gain looming around the corner.
I baked unceasingly, one amazing dessert after another. We wouldn’t even have time to finish one dessert before I’d be pulling the next one out of the oven. When I got pregnant with my first daughter, and gained 75 pounds, I drowned my stress in chocolate. I continued baking, gaining, gorging and gaining. I couldn’t seem to stop making desserts. And unfortunately for me, I couldn’t stop eating them either.
For the years after her birth, but before I started losing weight, I baked with abandon. If anyone needed cookies for an event, they knew who to call. I’d happily bake their cookies, eat them all, and bake another batch. When I got stressed over my weight, I’d bake a cake. Fruitless clothes shopping trips to the mall made me depressed, so I made cookies when we got home. That was of course, after eating a Cinnabon or two at the mall. Baking was a salve, and a way to show my family I loved them.
But was it really showing them I loved them? Or was it pulling them along my unhealthy road one bite at a time? As I started on my own personal odyssey to lose 150 pounds by using my Fit to the Finish plan, I made a radical shift in many different areas of my life. I exercised, I ate good food, and I put the brakes on baking. As the first few weeks went by, and I began to see results not only on the scale, but in my mind, I understood for the first time that encouraging my family to eat desserts all the time wasn’t good for them, or for me.
I stopped baking desserts, reserving the spectacular showpieces for holiday celebrations, and family gatherings. It was hard for John. He loved homemade desserts, and for a while I think he believed I’d never bake again. But he soon understood that I was limiting baking not only for my weight, but his health.
I learned that I could show my love for my family in ways that didn’t involve sugar. Just by being more available to them emotionally, and spending quality time with them, I showed them my love. Baking became secondary during the holiay season – still there – but not the focus.
I’ve had women in my weight loss classes who said, “I don’t think I can keep up with your plan because I really like to bake.” I understand where they are coming from because I felt the same way. But you can lose weight, get healthy and quit constantly baking.
Do I ever bake now? Yes! Just the other day I made a chocolate pie for dessert. And with so many people in the family, the pie was gone in one night. No tempting leftovers, no “bites to go” while passing through the kitchen. All gone.
One thing I learned about myself during my journey was that making decisions about cooking and baking for the family aren’t always easy choices. Changing your family’s expectations can be difficult. I’d encourage you to involve your family as you work on making healthy lifestyle changes. Perhaps baking isn’t your thing. Maybe you like to cook with a lot of oil (frying), or serve high calorie side dishes. Whatever your Achilles heel, it can be overcome, and compromised on. Today, decide what you can do to move you and your family towards your weight loss goals! Diane
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AMEN SISTER!
In the book Im working on it is the same. Its all about making what goes into yer cakehole a conscious choice—and YES for me it is CAKE at times.
just not, as you say, the un “counted” bites to go.
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It is about choice, both the counted and uncounted ones! Thanks so much for coming by!
When I grew up we had dessert once a week, at Sunday lunch. How times have changed! We’ve come to believe that if we like something, we should have it every day. No wonder we are obese.
I love sushi, but if I had it every day, it would no longer be a special treat for me.
Fortunately I’ve never been much of a baker and I don’t usually crave baked goods (except bread, my drug of choice).
I am so fortunate that my husband read some of the research I did and decided to jump on board 100%. He’s much more dedicated than I am! And we are so glad that we made the change before we have kids, so that our kids will grow up in a home where healthy eating is the norm.
Our lifestyle has caused a ripple effect and both sets of parents are eating much healthier these days, as is my best friend.
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Hanlie – I think you hit it the nail on the head. We don’t think of sweets as a treat anymore, so then it’s not special. Your husband sounds just perfect for you! And how good that you are influencing your family at the same time.
This has been one of the challenges my wife and I have had. She is a great cook, and we both love to cook. So she is still often making the great things, but I am not eating them. This is not necessarily desserts, but other things I don’t need to eat. Of course, our kids still eat the food, but sometimes she will make up a batch of chicken and dumplings to take to a friend or family member because she just likes making it (oddly enough, she doesn’t eat most of what she cooks).
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Steve – I’m more like your wife now. I will cook just for fun, and then make sure it gets eaten by people who won’t gain a bunch of weight from it! For me, the process of cooking is half the fun!
Somewhere along the way, I became convinced that white sugar and white flour are at the root of many of our weight and health issues, and baking normally involves both of those ingredients. I love to cook, but never unleashed the baking monster inside of me. I fear it would be accompanied by the sugar addict inside of me, and they would take over my world!
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Good for you on keeping the monster tamed. It sounds like you are quite skilled at cooking. After I read your post on Sauerkraut I couldn’t believe how involved it was!
I loved to bake when I was heavy!!! I stopped when I was losing weight BUT now I do a bit here & there. I am NOT a good cook but I was a decent baker when I did it. Now, I bake healthier options for me & my hubby. He is not as receptive but I keep trying! In fact, I made a healthy banana bread recipe the other day that he liked.. so success there! I even have him eating healthier on other food too! I keep trying!
Thx for always sharing your life stories to help us all!
Jody – I love banana bread, but so often it is really high in fat. I have one recipe that calls for 1 CUP of oil! Your hubby is lucky to have someone that watches out for him!
Well said! I adore cooking/baking too, so I just take advantage of it when we have get-togethers with large groups of people and I do my baking then. Everyone appreciates it, I get to have fun, and I don’t have to stare at a pile of cookies for days on end
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Sagan – Me too. If I stare at a huge pile of cookies for too long I may just start to munch on a few too many!
I try to really limit the carbs and eliminate white carbs altogether. I’ve been doing this for over a year, and in conjunction with my exercise program (primiarily walking), I’m no longer overweight. I’m now gearing up for phase II of my program (having maintained my initial weight loss for nearly a year) in which I hope actually being thin (as opposed to “not fat”). At 56, I’ve decided to see if I can get down to my college weight (I’ll need to lose another 10-15 pounds to get there.) Every so often I really miss baking. I was a great baker, homemade sourdough bread, pies, cakes, pizzas. Sigh. But once you have no kids at home, it’s just not very practical to bake unless you’re trying to grow into those bigger pants. Better to buy the occasional cookie out than create a batch at home. One cookie, 2 doughnuts – I’ve had these treats occasionally and they haven’t undermined my weight loss – I just look at it as a temporary detour from my normal eating and don’t look back or feel guilty. Batches of baked goods though would be a problem. At Christmas, with a teenage son at home and entertaining other family members, I made a fabulous cake. It broke my heart but I ended up throwing half of it out after Christmas. I hate to waste, but the alternative was to wear it across my abdomen for awhile, which seemed like a bad idea. I’ve considered training to become a baker – which would give me the pleasure of baking without the weight gain. Knitting, while enjoyable, sometimes isn’t the same. But I’ve lost enough weight that I can make new sweaters in a smaller size, which is kind of fun.
Babbalou – You are doing so well. I admire you for maintaining your weight loss, and staying active with exercise too. I think it’s good to allow yourself those “detours” because if you don’t you may start to feel deprived, and that’s not good!
I laughed when I saw you say that knitting isn’t quite the same as baking. Very true! I try to knit, but I’m not very good, and I’m super slow!
I love to eat baked things, but too lazy to bake! So I’m more likely to go buy a single cupcake or brownie than have to deal with a whole pan.
And when my partner bakes, she’s learned to substitute white whole wheat for white flour, go easy on the sugar, and use healthy oils instead of butter. Toll house cookies still rock, even when modified!
I think that’s a great suggestion actually. Even those of us who like to bake can benefit from that one. Buying a single serving of something you love is a lot healthier than eating a whole pan of brownies. (Not that I have ever done that!)
I use whole wheat flour for a lot, but not for baking. I’ll have to try that! Thanks so much for coming by.
I like to bake also and have a big sweet tooth. My husband doesn’t at all, but my children do. So, I’m learning to bring a balance about how much is in the house and how much I let the kids eat each day.
Leah – A lot of this journey is about finding balance isn’t it? Balancing our time, our exercise, and our choices.
And as parents, we always want to set the best example for our children don’t we?
WOW! I can totally relate. I love love love to bake! This past year when I got married i did the same think and found myself in the end 20lbs heavier… my husband even more. We both decided to slow down on the baking. Great post!
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I didn’t gain too much weight during college – it was after I got married that the weight started coming on for me! That’s so good that you got it under control now before ending up like I did! I loved your post today, very informative!
I have a feeling the more I read your story and the more you read mine, we’ll discover many of the same philosophies. This was a wonderful post. I especially like the part about still enjoying the baked goods—but keeping the focus on the family—and not the food! I live by that now. I’ve still got a wonderful way to go, but after the first 194 pounds—I feel like my life has opened up to a completely new existence.
Your transformation is just incredible! You look absolutely stunning.
My best always–and thank you for the wonderful support on my blog.
If you ever need anything–just send me a message!
Sean
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Sean – Thanks for the compliment, and I pay you one in return. You are doing an amazing job. It’s not an easy road, but you are walking it firmly and decisively. Excellent!
Thank you for coming by!
As usual, you hit the nail on the head with your posts. I love to bake too and I struggle with “traditional” baking and I do’t want my kids to miss out on the FUN of eating. Ummmm… that FUN has packed on a few HUNDRED extra pounds for me.
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Lisa – I hate it when the FUN food turns out to be not so FUN after all! I still do enjoy making great cakes and such, but make sure we don’t have much left to munch on! You are on your way to getting your weight off!