I get this question all the time, and when you get to where you want to be, you might just hear it too.
“Did you have gastric bypass surgery?”
I did not have gastric bypass surgery. Why not? Well, for me there were a couple of different reasons. One reason is that I’m scared to death of medical procedures, surgery in particular. That alone was enough to discourage me in a major way. Another reason I didn’t have surgery was because we couldn’t afford it, and the third reason was it just wasn’t as common fifteen years ago as it is today. The fourth, and most compelling reason was that I just had a feeling somewhere deep inside myself that I could do it. I had a terrible track record with weight loss attempts, but I still had hope for myself.
As a perpetual dieter, I knew I was able to lose weight. I had lost the same 20 pounds at least 10 times during my obese years. The 20 pounds reappeared the minute I went back to normal eating, usually bringing a few of its friends along with it. So it wasn’t as if I thought I wasn’t capable of losing weight. It was just if I could actually stay committed and focused long enough to see the number on the scale move into a healthy range. Because somewhere in my heart I understood that I could do it, I didn’t consider surgery.
Do I condemn people who have had gastric bypass surgery? No, definitely not, absolutely no way. I believe that every person has the right to choose the best way for them to regain their health. Having surgery is never the easy option, even if the media portrays it as such. The proliferation of weight loss shows publicizes gastric bypass surgery in a way not seen 5, 10 or 15 years ago.
For me, it turns out that losing weight on my own gave me the same results as gastric bypass surgery without the pain, cost, or continued medical monitoring. By losing weight the “old fashioned” way, I was able to enjoy a few benefits that people who choose to have gastric bypass surgery lose. The most obvious benefit is that I didn’t have to undergo major surgery, with the possibility of complications. Another benefit of losing weight on my own was that I had a lot of opportunities to practice good eating habits, and retrain my brain when it came to food. A third benefit was that I was forced to confront some of the emotional issues that surrounded my fascination with food.
The last two benefits came with a lot of emotional struggle, and difficult times. There were situations that arose during my year of weight loss that had I not had a firm plan in mind, I would have probably given up and stuck my head in a bowl of ice cream. But because I knew that losing weight wasn’t something to be put on the back burner until an easier time came around, I perservered. Had I had gastric bypass surgery, I would have still lost the weight, but would I have been able to conquer my love/hate relationship with food? I’m not sure.
When I finally got to where I wanted to be, I realized that in some ways, I had the chance to start over with my life. I had rid myself of a lot of bad food habits, learned to love food in the right way, and learned a lot about myself. If you are considering surgery, I’d urge you to speak with your doctor, and do a lot of soul searching. There may be another way out for you. Surgery may be the only option for some people, but for me, old fashioned weight loss was my best option. What’s your best option these days? And what are your thoughts on gastric bypass surgery? Diane
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
I’ll be honest that I have gotten to the point where I felt this was my only alternative, BUT I decided to try again on my own, well with WW. I’m doing well, but am worried about the long term. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.
Claire – I agree with Steve when he said, “Don’t give up!” Large weight loss is possible. Not easy, but very possible. Good for you on joining WW. Email me if I can help!
The main reason why I would never consider gastric bypass surgery is that I want to eat and live the way I do now, which I don’t think would be “allowed” when you’ve had surgery. To my mind gastric bypass surgery brings you under the thumb of the medical profession for the rest of your life and that is just unacceptable to me. I want complete control over my own body.
I have also heard of many gastric bypass patients who developed addictions to alcohol, sex, drugs, etc. They couldn’t eat the way they had been doing before, but they also hadn’t healed the underlying emotional cause of their weight problem, so they just looked for another vehicle (alcohol, etc) to help them “check out” of their lives.
Of course, I don’t blame people who opt for it, but it’s not for me.
Hanlie´s last blog ..Guest Post by Kathy Balland
Hanlie – Thanks for your thoughtful comments. You do make some good points. I feel sorry for the people who have had complications from their surgery too.
I know this may step on a lot of toes, but I feel like surgeries like this are an easy way out of what we have done to ourselves. That being said, I have a cousin who was extremely obese that went this route and she has done very well. It is not my place to criticize those who choose to do it, but it isn’t for me.
Claire (a few comments before me), you can do this!
South Beach Steve´s last blog ..A Couple of New Recipies
Steve – I know how you feel. I don’t think you are stepping on toes, you are just sharing how you feel. I think you are doing really well on your own journey. I liked the recipes you shared today!
I wrote about why I’ve chosen not to get lap-band surgery here: http://choosinglosing.wordpress.com/2009/06/29/i-eat-too-much-period/
Just_Kelly´s last blog ..Losing Oneself in Service
Kelly – Thanks for coming by. Good for you on choosing to lose weight “on your own” so to speak!
I think it is a hard decision for some especially when it comes to health issues. BUT, I agree with what you have written Diane. Also, people really need to get past the emotional issues that cause weight gain many times. I know of people that “fooled” the pre-surgery people that talked to them & they still had those emotional issues after the surgery which can result in a person gaining back the weight. I also know of some that don’t take seriously the fact that you will still have to exercise & watch your food after the surgery at some point…. all things to think thru.
It is an individual decision but I think if you can conquer your emotions & other issues & lose weight without surgery, you will have a better understanding of how to eat & exercise right long term like you said Diane.
Thx for sharing!
Jody – The emotional issues are huge, and I often wonder if the reason people tend to gain their weight back is mainly due to emotional reasons. I think the television shows that glorify this kind of surgery plays on people’s fears that weight loss is too hard for regular people. Thank you for your comment.
Hi, when I topped the scale at 294 I considered gastric bypass surgery. It was my last hope when I was hopeless. However, I too do not like surgery!!! I told myself if I get to 300 lbs. I am having a procedure done (probably lap band)!
By me telling myself that, it pushed me forward to try once again. I have lost 35 pounds now and do not plan on stopping!
Thanks for reminding me of another reason to push forward!
Rhonda´s last blog ..Checking IN….With Mr. Turtle!
Rhonda – YAY on the 35 pound weight loss. I’m glad you didn’t get to the point where you felt surgery was your only option! Keep going girl!
I think we’ve all gotten to that hopeless point at sometime and considered the surgery. My highest point was 340 lb and when the day came to consider it, I called my hero….my Dad….and asked his advice. He told me not to do it. Surgery is dangerous, especially one like this. We all know that you have to face the reasons you’re overeating anyway…even if you have the surgery…we all know you have to learn diet and exercise if you have the surgery…so you don’t undo what the surgeon did. I know 7 people personally that have had the surgery. 1 of them had a good experience and says she would do it again. The other 6 women will never stop regretting it. If you already have to learn what diet and exercise is all about after the surgery…..then why in the world would you put your body through it in the first place? No…it’s not the easy way out. It’s the dangerous, risky, expensive way out. It just doesn’t make good sense to me.
Tammy Ortagus´s last blog ..Happy Birthday To Me!!!
Tammy – You are so wise to really consider your Dad’s advice. After all, he has your best interests at heart, not a surgeon! That’s so sad about your friends who had surgery and wished they hadn’t. Good for you on working your plan!!
I have four friends who have all had gastric bypass surgery. I know for sure that three of them were told by their pastor that the surgery would either be their deliverance from the battles with food, or they would still need a deliverance from those battles (emotional issues, mindsets, etc.) For two of them it seemed to be the deliverance, but one of them gained it all back and has no exercise habits nor good eating habits in place now. This was her second weight loss surgery in about 15-20 years, and the doctors told her she can’t do it again.
I also have one good friend who had it done and I was with her from the surgery and through all office visits afterwards. She has kept the weight off for 3-4 years now with continued good eating habits and regular exercise. It was not easy to watch her go through the surgery, strict eating, almost choking because she hadn’t chewed her food down small enough, but she made it through fine with no major complications. It worked for her the best of the four ladies who I know had it done.
However, I’ve never felt it was for me. Have I wanted to have it done? Sure. I’ve reached my point of hopelessness in times past, but I know that a surgery is not going to solve my emotional issues that are directly linked to my bad eating habits. If I can not change on my own, I’ve felt a surgery is not going to change me.
I agree with you, Diane, that everyone needs to decide what works best for them. I will support those who choose gastric bypass and only pray that in the process they are able to deal seriously with their emotional issues. In the meantime, I will do it the “old fashioned” way and in the process deal with the fears and emotional issues in my life, so that as I reach my physical goal weight I will have gained an emotional victory as well.
Leah – Wow, thanks for sharing about your friends. That makes me sad when I hear these stories. I’m glad you never got to the point where you felt that was your only option. Emotional victory = Food victory . They really go hand in hand!
I talked to a doctor about removing the gland that creates a longing for salty crap. He said there wasn’t one. Quack!
Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit´s last blog ..If You Can’t Say Something Nice…
Jack – I can’t believe the doctor never heard of that gland! I had one, but made it shrink.
Thanks for stoppong by my blog! I appreciate it! Your blog rocks!!
Lisa´s last blog ..Monday Weigh In
Lisa – Thank you for coming by!
I agree with everything you’ve written. I never considered surgery at all, for the exact reasons you mention. I also believe in live and let live, everyone has the right to do with their own body what they wish.
To me, this isn’t so much of a food disorder that I have, it’s more of a mental thing. I’m working on that very hard.
Jo´s last blog ..Monday Morning Weigh-In
Jo – Very excellent point on the “mental thing.” I’m glad that you are working on it. You will have the success you desire if you keep working your plan!
Thank you so much for the comment that you left on my blog a few days ago. It really was nice to hear from someone who had originally had the same amount of weight that I am on the journey of losing.
Youre right, there are going to be ups and downs, I just have to get through this down and get myself back to losing again!
Scale Warfare´s last blog ..I needed to be called out…
Scale Warfare – I love the name of your blog! You are fighting the fight aren’t you? You will start losing again. Whenever I was tempted to give up I’d just remember how it felt to be 300 pounds and keep plugging away!
I think we rely on surgery too much nowadays to solve our problems. When really, as you have noted, it’s about making lifestyle changes… and that’s something that surgery cannot do for us.
Sagan´s last blog ..Award-winning chocolate chip cookies, learning how to use a typewriter, and ANOTHER race!
Sagan – You are so right! Surgery should be the option of last resort, not the first as it seemes to be in some cases. I’m off to read your blog – “chocolate chip cookies”. . .
i have a friend who lost 130 lbs then gained back over 100 over 7 years. I saw that REALLY overweight guy on Oprah who said surgery wasn’t for him because they would have to do it on his brain because that is where the problem is.
Lisa´s last blog ..Drum roll please…
How sad for your friend. I wonder if she ever did lose any of the weight again? Poor thing. That’s funny what the guy on Oprah said. Funny, and true. Thanks for coming by!
Great, thoughtful post, Diane! One of my very favorite authors was Olivia Goldsmith (First Wives Club). We were the same age and had similar humorous writing styles, so I related to her. I will never forget how I shocked and saddened I was when I heard the news a few years ago that Olivia died from surgery complications. Not from a gastric bypass, but a “simple” chin tuck!
That poor woman caved in to the urgings of her marketing and publishing people that she needed to look younger and thinner to compete in the marketplace with younger female up-and-coming authors. She wasn’t fat, she just had a double chin. So because she felt less attractive and older, she opted for what was supposed to have been a simple surgical procedure. And she died. And the world will never have the benefit of reading another of that talented, creative woman’s wonderful books. All for the sake of vanity. How incredibly sad.
For me, there’s absolutely no question when it comes to gastric bypass; or a tummy tuck after I lose all the weight. Life is just too precious for me to risk it just to be thin and look good.
I know several people who chose various weight loss surgery options. A few have fared well, but most have had nothing but problems from the beginning. Three of them gained all their weight back in a few years. Plus, the underlying reasons for their obesity were not changed or eliminated by the procedure. The food addictions are still there and they still eat unhealthy diets, albeit less of those unhealthy foods. That just doesn’t seem like a positive way to spend the rest of your life. They’re thinner, but still unhealthy, and plagued with serious digestive problems.
That said, I can certainly understand why a morbidly obese person weighing, say, 400 pounds or more, would consider WLS. For them, the clock is ticking and it’s vitally important for them to reduce their weight for more than just vanity’s sake. Each day they remain morbidly obese, their life is in danger. So, while gastric bypass or similar options aren’t for me, I realize they may be a lifesaver for a select group of individuals whose lives are at risk.
–Susan
The Crazy Woman Inside Me´s last blog ..Confessions of a Closet Binge Eater
Susan – I didn’t know that about Oliva Goldsmith. I loved that book! How sad.
That’s one of the reasons why I elect not to fix the skin issues that come with large weight loss. The last thing I want to do is submit to a surgery that is completely voluntary.
I understand other people making other choices, but that’s what is right for me.
You bring up a lot of good points about surgery not fixing the underlying emotional issues. Thank you so much for your comment.
I just had gastric bypass this year and no, it’s not easy. But I think many of the troubles mentioned here by those who’ve undergone surgery are because they do not take the diet & exercise seriously. Also, I suspect many have not participated fully in support groups or did not meet with their psychologist on a regular basis. Yes, there are ALOT of things that have to happen in your mind for the surgery to be a success. Surgery basically forces you to deal with yourself in a honest manner, on a very “fast track”.
It also depends on the strength of the hospital’s program for patients after surgery. For example, at the hospital where I had surgery, you can participate in support groups FOR LIFE at no charge. They offer exercise classes at no charge, and have several ways to stay in touch with the dietician and nurse regularly thru email or appointments.
Essentially, the success of surgery comes down to the age-old formula of diet and exercise. If you have not been honest with yourself and are “fooling” the doctors to get a quick fix, then you will probably gain the weight back. I know of people who had surgery around the same time as me who are already eating White Castle and tacos! In my opinion, if you go back so quickly to the old habits, then you have not honestly dealt with your relationship with food. For me, my body cannot tolerate some of those fatty or sugary foods now, so I am developing healthy habits in the early months after surgery which will stick with me when I can eat larger portions later.
Kudos to all of you for your determination and motivation! I just wanted you to know that many of us who have surgery have been fortunate to be in programs where they DO deal with your emotional and mental issues. It’s just a matter of whether or not you take it seriously. God bless!
Heather´s last blog ..An Apple A Day…
Heather, These are all really good points, and I’m so glad that you took the time to educate all of us on them. I really don’t judge anyone who chooses that route, because it’s not an “easy” road either.
I’m glad that it all went well for you, and it sounds like you had not only the best of care, but the strength and determination needed to make it work!
The worst day of my life was when my doctor suggested I have lap band surgery when I told her that I hated being fat and wished I could lose it all. Me. Me having lap band surgery meant I was super duper fat. I knew it, but I didn’t know it, you know what I mean?
Thankfully the first blogs I ran into on the internet were written by people losing it the ‘old-fashioned way’–they were earning it! Yes, counting calories and exercising daily worked for them and by gum it is working for me too! 27 pounds to date and going strong. Love your blog.
Zaababy – Great job on the 27 pounds! You must be really proud of yourself. Isn’t it interesting how before blogging it might have been hard to find people who had been successful “losers!” Thanks so much for commenting, and I’m glad you are on a journey to health!
There is still so much that we don’t know about weight gain and weight loss. For some, eating less and exercising more is the key; for others it is not. Most of the individuals who choose bariatric surgery have been fat since they were children. Many also have a tremendous amount of will power, having lost large amounts of weight, over and over and over, each time regaining the weight they lost and more.
As to those who consider it the easy way out, please educate yourself about what the long-term implications of surgery. No thoughtful person would choose this surgery as an “easy” option. Surgery is not a solution nor panacea; it is simply a tool. The years after surgery require discipline and commitment. Those who don’t have these are likely to regain the weight they lost, a very sad result after having taken this difficult road.
I will be having gastric bypass surgery next Monday. I have researched the surgery and the related issues for more than 18 months; I have participated in a six-month medically-supervised preparatory program; and I have been researching obesity since I was in college — by that time I was in the midst of the second major diet of my life.
It may be helpful to know that in spite of the risks involved — and there are risks, both short- and long-term, gastric bypass surgery is the second-safest surgery performed in the U.S. today.
The factors that contribute to weight gain and loss are individual to each person. As such, it’s decision that needs to be made based on an individual’s specific set of circumstances. Diane, I appreciate your even-handed discussion of this, and your appreciation that surgery was not the right choice for you, and I applaud your commitment and success.
“Fat: What No One Is Telling You,” a program broadcast on PBS television stations in 2007 (http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/takeonestep/fat/index.html), is a very good program for those interested in understanding the complexity of the issues. It raises more questions than it answers, and, in fact, that’s part of the point.
Clara – Wow, excellent comment. I understand that it is just a tool, and not the easy way out. I really hope that everything will go well for you on Monday. It sounds as though you have an excellent clinic and team of doctors ready to help you now, and later. I wish you all the best.
Hi Diane:
Being a Gastric Bypass patient, I was intrigued by your title and had to read your story. I am very impressed by (and appreciative of) your well-balanced and sensitive handling of the subject. Many people who decide against gastric bypass have a tendency to put it down, rather than realizing it is a viable option for many (though clearly not all) people.
In my case, it saved my life. But I was emotionally ready to make the lifestyle changes required for success after surgery. Sadly, many people do not understand what life will be like post-op. They don’t know how radical and permanent the changes will be, and forever is a long time.
The common misperceptions out there (surgery is taking the easy way, surgery is a permanent fix, surgery makes you bullet proof…) couldn’t be any less true.
Having said that, I wake up each day thanking God for the miraculous gift of freedom from the tyranny of obesity (and all that goes along with it.) Of course, like an alcoholic, I will always be an addict, so the need to choose wisely will never end. And there is no such thing as “eating normally” or “maintaining” or whatever other way you want to describe post-WLS-life. There is only the “After Life” (which is what I call the time After the After picture is taken (or “everything else.”)
At the end of the day, as you know (and now I know), there is only way to be slim and fit: Commit to it and do it. Every. Single. Day. Ultimately, no matter how we GET there, we all have to work hard to STAY there!
Thanks again for your site!
Thanks for your thoughtful post. I will add your site to my blog links!
Cari (aka Gastric Bypass Barbie)´s last blog ..Weight Regain After WLS?
Cari,
I’m so glad that you found this post to be nonjudgmental, because it certainly was meant to just express my own personal feelings, and not to judge anyone. For many people, the surgery can be a new lease on life, and you are obviously one of them.
Thank you so much for the compliments on my site. I thought your pictures were amazing!
Wow, the varied yet civilized opinions and thoughts on this topic as expresed here really impress me! On a lot of sites you don’t see this kind of discourse occurring in a kind, mature way, and I really appreciated reading all the different commenters’ perspectives.
Fitzi´s last blog ..Doing Something About It
I know what you mean. I was a little nervous while I was writing it, but all the comments were constructive. I loved the ones from the people who shared their actual experiences. Thanks to everyone.
I seriously considered GP surgery. In fact, I was all set to have it. I had the consultation, insurance and flexible spending covered the cost. When did I discover that I could do this on my own? When I was losing the 10% of my weight required before the surgery. Ironic, huh?
I am so happy that I chose to not have the surgery and go this on my own. I know that when you are the point of complete desperation that it seems like the only way out. I was lucky. I found another way. In the long run it will take me 3 times as long to lose all the weight I have to lose but I will be a lot happier and healthier for it.
Kimberly´s last blog ..Non-Scale Victory: The Limited
“Another benefit of losing weight on my own was that I had a lot of opportunities to practice good eating habits, and retrain my brain when it came to food.” When a person has gastric bypass, they do not get this opportunity. They lay down on the table feeling normal, and wake up a few hours later never the same again. There isn’t time for a learning curve. You’re just tossed in not knowing what its really like. The only way is to experience it… there is a major difference in theory and practice.
“A third benefit was that I was forced to confront some of the emotional issues that surrounded my fascination with food.” As a weight loss surgery patient, I have had to do the same thing. I would not say its just a benefit of “the old fashioned way”… its actually a necessity of any type of weight loss should a person want it to be long term success… finding out why I eat, and then learning new ways to cope.
Melinda´s last blog ..Look In the Side View Mirror