Just because I was fat, people assumed I was lazy. It’s true, they did, and if you are struggling with your weight, there are probably friends and family of yours who, whether they say it or not, assume you are lazy. There, I said it. There is a stigma associated with weight that is not associated with other types of health problems. I suppose that is because being overweight is most often due to overeating, and not due to disease. Add to it the fact that being overweight is a public problem, unable to be hidden, and there you have it, fat people are fodder for false assumptions and rude comments.
When I was a big girl, I was part of a “Moms Group”. Over and over, I was overlooked for heading up committees, taking on tasks, and of course I was never asked to be the greeter at the door. Was part of that due to the perception of obese people, or was part of that due to my own poor self image? During that time in my life I was teetering between 280 and 300 pounds, and honestly, felt quite badly about myself. I tried not to show how I felt, but perhaps my insecurities were more apparent than I realized. Every time someone asked another woman to handle something, I felt ashamed. Every time I tried to volunteer for a task, but was pushed aside, I felt demoralized. And each time people made side comments about my energy level, I shrank inside. I remember one time when we were organizing a field day for the children, that a friend said, “Diane, you probably don’t want to handle any of the games, so why don’t you just bake 3 dozen cookies?” I looked at her, smiled and said, “Sure, that sounds great.” But inside I was thinking, “I can handle ring toss with 5 year olds. I know I can.” But instead I baked 3 dozen cookies, at 18 of them, and had to bake 3 dozen more in order to have enough to bring to the field day.
I didn’t think I was lazy. I worked hard at home, at my part-time job, and on my friendships. I kept up with the latest trends in decorating, knew what clothes were in style, even if I couldn’t wear them, and was well informed on world events. Other people didn’t see all the things I accomplished during the day. All they saw was almost 300 pounds lumbering in the door, overflowing chairs and catching her breath after climbing stairs. I guess I can’t blame them for their incorrect assumption. I wasn’t lazy, I just wasn’t energetic. I was often tired, but I did work hard.
Why is it that average sized people sometimes assume that overweight people are lazy? I think it goes along with the myth that all fat people are lazy, stupid and lack willpower and self discipline. It’s easy to see why people feel that way, and hard to convince them otherwise. I was the last person down the hill at playground time. I didn’t strap on skates at the roller rink, and I never wore a bathing suit, but I was there. People couldn’t seem to see beyond my size. Lazy people come in all shapes and sizes. Lazy isn’t a matter of size, it’s a matter of attitude. I had a willing attitude, but at times, my body was unwilling and unable to keep up. It was frustrating to not be able to convince people I was capable. It hurt my feelings, and instead of getting healthy, I got bigger. Those comments sent me to the pantry instead of the gym.
Once I finally was successful at losing weight I was astonished at the difference in how people treated me, based solely on physical appearance. It was unbelievable. Whereas I was previously regulated to the “backroom” jobs, now I was constantly asked to serve on the board, give the opening prayer, introduce the speaker, etc. What changed? My appearance. I was the same person I had always been, just smaller. Undoubtably my self confidence level improved, but I would have done those things even as a heavy person, it was just that no one asked.
If you experience people treating you as if you are lazy, I’d encourage you to push through, and prove to them that you are capable and confident. Don’t be like me, and let people push you around, and make false assumptions about you based on your appearance. Be a maverick! By doing so you will give your own self confidence a boost, and help set the record straight. Lazy comes in all sizes, not just large! Diane
People do think that overweight people are lazy. I know it, because before I had a weight problem I did too. I think that we must be strong and tell people what we think so they don’t walk all over us.
You’re right – being strong, both physically and emotionally is important for our health. I wasn’t lazy when I was heavy, I was just tired. It’s good you think about these things from both weight perspectives. It probably makes you more empathetic towards other people.
Another thing I’ve found is that people say we are stupid. Maybe because we aren’t so willing to speak up. I know sometimes I get intimidated by other people and their comments, so I just stay quiet. Thank you for talking about this.
April, it’s unfortunate that people feel free to call other people names, or make assumptions about them based on appearance. Don’t get intimidated – get strong! It was hard for me too, but eventually I learned to speak up for myself. Thank you for commenting.
it goes along with why people think we, Jews, are stingy in a way.
for some reason we just wanna LUMP people together, assume stuff about them as it makes us (the royal not the commenting) feel as though we can make certain assumptions about our world.
my goal, daily, is to get out there and shake up people’s assumptions.
in many arenas.
You do shake up people’s assumptions, about fitness, weight and life in general! I love your website, and look forward to catching up with you every morning!
I used to work harder than anybody else at my previous company, but I was still perceived as lazy because I wouldn’t climb the stairs and had no energy to run from one building to the other 10 times per day. I had a cleaning lady who ran my household, because I was physically unable to do the work.
Within four days of switching to a plant-based whole foods diet I had more energy than means to dispense of it! These days I clean my own house and do my own ironing, work out and climb stairs when I see them. I still weigh over 300 pounds, but I’m a different person altogether.
I have to admit, I also used to think that I was lazy. Only now do I see that I had no energy!
There is a difference to me between lazy, and lack of energy. I think it’s great that switching your diet gave you more energy. It just goes to show that we really are what we eat! Thanks for the comment Hanlie!
Thank you for posting what I have thought about many times. I am not lazy–I have a 15 month old that I chased around all the time, I work full time, I am a wife, and I attempt to keep a tidy house. And because of my weight, I do all of this carrying around enough weight for an extra person. THough, people see me and think lazy..its frustrating, but I am going to work to go beyond the stereotype.
THanks
Just because we carry extra weight doesn’t mean we are lazy! You obviously work very hard. It’s unfair that people assume we are lazy because of our weight. Good for you to go beyond stereotypes!
I can really relate to this post. There have been numerous times where I have turned up to run a 10k race only to have people presume I am there to walk just because I don’t look like a runner, sadly people don’t ask either, I have had a few people say “oh great, you must be one of the walkers, I will stick with you” It was very upsetting to me
Sighs. It’s sad how often we’re so quick to judge. There’s more to people than their weight!
Hi Diane,
You’re absolutely right – people treat me differently when I’m thin. Been there done that.
xox Liz N
Liz – It’s too bad, but you are right. People do react differently to people who struggle with their weight. Not good, and not fun! Thanks for the comment.
Such a great post! It is this & beyond this with us doing the “first impression” thing. I am guilty of it too but I try to catch myself. Look at the Susan Boyle hoopla but what came out of her mouth. We are so quick to judge. Many of us should take a good look in the mirror first before we start judging others. I have plenty to learn too!
Very good analogy with Susan Boyle. You would think that would remind all of us to not prejudge people based on what they look like on the outside. I too have much to learn!
Soooo true. Stereotypes are terrible, especially regarding bigger people. My best friend in the world is tiny but the LAZIEST person I know. Just because you are fat doesn’t make you lazy and just because you are skinny doesnt make you active.
I’ve had friends of all sizes and some were thin and lazy, and some struggled with their weight, but were the hardest workers I knew. Stereotypes of all types are terrible, and hard to overcome.
I will have to say that fat does = lazy for me. It is sooo hard to walk and breathe and i always worry I will be asked to do something that I can’t do because of my fat. I had a 100 lb weight gain in 5 months after my thyroid was taken out so my back NEVER recovered. I sweat when i have to stand for more than 2 minutes. I rather sit. ALL the time. so yep, for me fat is lazy but i am hoping to change that.
I was just speaking with my friend about this.
My friend is a cyclist. He regularly cycles 100km (once oer month) & weekly cycles 45km 3-4 times per week. He eats very healthfully & has many interests. He could probably stand to lose 70 lbs. All of his bloodwork is EXCELLENT. Also, he’s 52. People look at him & think, “Lazy, fat slob”
I have another friend who is a body builder. Fantastic physique. Although he works out for an hour per day on the weights, my other friend would leave him in the dust on the bike. This guy does nothing but laze about the house. He’s 36. His diet is for sh*t. Lunch yesterday? A breaded chicken patty & 6 green onions & energy drinks.
We simply cannot assume by the outside packaging how lazy or not a person is.