Why do we work so hard to lose weight and get healthy, only to sabotage our own efforts? It would seem counter intuitive that after eating healthy for a period of time we would deliberately choose to pig out on a decadent dessert, or fat laden restaurant meal. Even as the food is going down you know you shouldn’t be eating it, but you can’t seem to stop. I did this more times that I can even remember, but here’s an example of one particularly bad decision I made ,that set me back in my weight loss efforts.
We were given a gift membership to Sam’s Club, where the physical store and the size of the packages are enormous. John and I loaded up the girls, and eagerly set off to try out our new card. We loaded the shopping cart with huge packages of paper towels, toilet paper and other dry goods. We also stocked up on bread, flour and treats. Treats like chocolate chips by the pound, cookies by the dozens, 50 pack of chips, and candy in boxes meant for concession stand. When we got home, our pantry was full, and my mind was spinning with all the eating possibilities.
Did I forget to mention I was supposed to be dieting? I forgot too, as I ripped open the 6 pound box of Hershey’s candy, and began sorting through to find my favorite kind – Mr. Goodbar. I opened and ate one after another, just about as fast as humanly possible. Each time I thought to myself, “This will be the last one.” But they were so good, I just couldn’t stop. Needless to say, that day was the last day of my diet.
Has this ever happened to you? We don’t set out to sabotage ourselves, but we somehow end up making choices that sabotage our weight loss efforts. And if you are anything like I was, then once you are on a roll, it’s hard to stop.
I would get so mad at myself after I did these kinds of things. Why couldn’t I just say no? What was wrong with me that I had so little control? Once I finally got started on the right path to both health, and weight loss, I still struggled with self sataboge. Even after I had lost 25 or 30 pounds, I would find myself heading to the kitchen to whip up a batch or two of sugar cookies. Although I had rid the kitchen of chocolate, I still had the ingredients on hand to make sugar cookies, and other non-chocolate treats. I’d start pulling out the butter and sugar, and then stop. I’d actually talk out loud to myself, “What am I doing?” and more importantly, “Why am I doing this?”
Often times I could trace the answers to an unsatisfied emotional need rather than a physical need. I was experiencing some type of stressful life situation, and reverting back to old habits was easy and comforting. More often than not, I could stop myself before eating a food I didn’t need, and really didn’t want. I stopped sabotaging myself by learning to recognize the pattern, and training myself to make a different choice.
I realized that when I started to sabotage my own efforts to get healthy, the only person I was hurting was myself. I also acknowledged that it wasn’t about the food, but about the behavior. Just like any other bad habit, I worked on breaking this habit by recognition, diversion, and diligence. I recognized when I was making a bad choice, diverted myself by finding another activity to do, and diligently practiced changing. I knew I wasn’t hurting my weight loss efforts on purpose, so I didn’t beat myself up about it. I just worked really hard at breaking the habit.
You may not ever do this to yourself, but if you do, be encouraged that you can stop. Self sabatoge in any form isn’t healthy, and when you are talking about food choices, the consequences go beyond just the number on the scale. Today, if you find yourself overindulging for “no good reason” try focusing on something else, and diverting your attention to a person or project that is life affirming. Diane
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I think I say this regularly, but I need to say it again! Thank you. Your blog means the world to me.
I’ve realised that my eating (you know, the type you mention above) stems from needing to be in control. When I was 13, I started putting on a little weight – my dancing teacher stopped teaching and I had to quit because there wasn’t another teacher in our area. My mother immediately put me on a diet. I’ve been reading “The Principle of the Path” by Andy Stanley. He speaks about the paths we take and the destinations they lead to. That coupled with your blog tonight has really given me something non-fattening to chew on! Thanks Diane. Again!
Liesl – I think it’s wonderful that you are gaining insight into the reasons for your eating patterns. I too ate for control from the time I was small. That book sounds good, I’ll have to get it! Thanks for your encouragement!
I’m finally getting a handle on this kind of behavior… I’ve been reading up a lot about it and I have developed some winning strategies now.
I so enjoy reading about your journey!
Hanlie – I can tell from reading your blog that you are making outside and inside changes. It takes both to be successful doesn’t it?
its amazing to me, too, how we (the royal) can read a million times a million different places (and yes. hear it from the great and mighty oprah
) that it IS NOT ABOUT THE FOOD.
yet
until we are listening and open and ready to hear it—it doesnt click.
thanks so much for sharing all this,
Carla
MizFit – Right as usual. Sometimes we have to hear and experience the same thing over and over before we get it! Thanks for stopping by.
I have certainly had similar situations in my life. For me, I will usually start thinking about the “forbidden fruit”. I can resist most of the day, then finally I will give in and eat it. Very frustrating. As you said, it was not usually about the food though. Most of the time I was stressed about something, and food was my comfort blanket.
Steve – I like the term comfort blanket, and I totally relate to just giving in. As I got further into my journey I could have small amounts of food I loved (chocolate), but not at first. Thanks for sharing, and I’m glad your reunion went well!
I agree – I think self sabotage is a really big factor for many weight loss bloggers – and I also think (most) have NO idea they are doing it.
I also agree that the food (and the fat) are the part we can SEE and measure – but the emotional end – is pretty hard for most of us to SEE.
You may have said – but did medication or therapy enter into your journey?
Vickie – You are probably right about a lot of people not realizing they are doing it. I always knew when I did it, I just couldn’t seem to stop. As far as your question about medication or therapy the answer to both is no. I’m not opposed to therapy though, it has helped a lot of people. Thanks for your insight.
Diane, again…thank you so much for your journal. You are “right on” each and every time, and I appreciate your insight so much. I have been actually saying out loud to myself lately, “If hunger is not the problem, food is not the answer.” That has helped get me through lots of tough times.
And I love that you mention turning to a person or project that is life-affirming! Great way to phrase it!
Thanks again,
Angie
Angie – Thanks for reading! I like the phrase you’ve been using to help you get through tough food choices. It really helps to have a “personal mantra” like that.
Wow, what a great post! I have to say amidst all your thoughts, I had to think about this new Jack In the Box commercial out about the huge sizes of things you get at these places like Costco & Sam’s Club. A very funny commercial but what you write is so poignant!
Yes, I have been there & it usually is not about the food but like you said other things & emotions behind them. I still have all those emotions BUT I have learned things that work for me like walking away, talking to myself for 10-15 minutes (a time out BEFORE I eat “it”) about why I want it, what will it do for me, will I even like it eating under stressed or depressed circumstances or just stuff it down, is it even worth it after all my hard work, what will I have to do to work off this stupid emotional eating binge… after all that, if I still want it, I eat it but at least I recognize what I am doing. I also just find any way to keep myself busy but most of the time it is the talk with myself that works.
Jody – I haven’t seen that commercial! I have to laugh at myself sometimes when I’m loading up a cart at Sam’s now – not to get a bunch of treats, but to buy food for the family. I never dreamed Sam’s would be my “grocery store!”
As far as your handling of emotional eating – I think your advice is right on, and something I still do to this day. Thank you for sharing that.
I think you were reading my mind. I’m just blown away by this. Every time I do this I get so furious with myself. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Tina – Don’t beat yourself up over choices you make. Just acknowledge them, and move on. I know that’s easier said than done, but it will help you not get bogged down and feel self defeated. Thank you for coming by.
So true. I have done this soooo many times…
Lisa – Me too. If I wrote about every time I’d fill up the whole blog! Thanks for the comment.
I just wanted to say thank you for this post. I don’t want to eat things I know I shouldn’t, but sometimes I just can’t seem to help it. It’s not about the food is it?
Margo – It’s not about the food. The food we eat does impact our weight, but the food doesn’t control us. You will get on top of this if you keep working on it! Thanks for the comment.
I’m just glad to know I’m not the only one who has ever done this in the past. Thanks again for your honesty, Diane.
Leah – Of course you aren’t the only one! I wonder if even people who don’t have an obvious weight problem also make choices they regret. Probably.
Sighhh I had to put the oreo down to write the comment!!!
Excellent post.
I just did it this past week and still on it..I was so good, and then I had some treats last weekend, at a birthday party,,,and had the whole ” Blew it anyhow ” attitude…and I have been overeating all week…Feel like I’ve let myself down by having this happen…so close I just have another 10-15 to lose…Ive lost already 40 its like this negative thing saying oh NOW LAURIE…you can’t lose that weight…its impossible…look how weak I am that I can’t finish off this last few pounds…so frusterated!!!
Laurie – What you shared is so common, and something I did to myself over and over. You have done a great job so far! Don’t give up now that you are so close! Thanks for commenting!
What is it with self sabatage? Example: people get cancer and die ( even people they know) yet still smoke cigarettes. We want to lose weight and do soooo great, then end up eating just enough over the allowed calorie limit, to not continue to lose! Is it a fear of success? What did you do when you would get “stuck”?