Bathing suit shopping is not fun for me. It has never been fun. No matter what size I am, I hate trying on bathing suits. Hence the reason my old black suit lasted for 5 years. Every time I wore it I would carefully rinse it in clear water, and hang it to dry. I treated that bathing suit with kid gloves. Not because I loved it, but rather because I didn’t want to have to try a new one on.
When I began my trip UP the scale, I stopped wearing a bathing suit, instead opting for capri pants and a big shirt. It was so embarrassing to go to a swimming party dressed as if I were meeting some friends for lunch. I’d stand around on the pool deck, watching other people swim, feeling as conspicuous as an elephant might in your living room. People would stand around and talk to me, but eventually the lure of their children calling, “Mommy come play with me!” would take them away from me and back to their fun.
Whenever we visited the beach I broke out the capris again, suffering through the indignity and uncomfortableness of getting my pants and shirt wet, but having to happily smile the whole time. Sand sticks to everything, and although it’s fun in a bathing suit, its not so fun in capri pants! John would tell me, “We don’t know anybody – just wear a bathing suit. Who cares?!” I’d shake my head, refusing to even be drawn into that conversation. After all, even if I would consider his suggestion, I’d never agree, because then I’d have to go try on a bathing suit, and that would not be good.
As I lost weight, one of my goals was to be able to swim with my children. When I reached my goal size, I knew it was time. I went shopping and found a modest bathing suit. I still didn’t like the way I looked, but at least no one would laugh and say, “Look at the beached whale sitting on the towel!” The first time we went to the pool was a wonderful experience. I was able to get in, and splash around with the children rather than standing on the sidelines.
Trips to the beach were a completely different experience too. It felt good to be in clothing that was appropriate for the event. I realized that before, people probably noticed me more when I wore my capri pants on the beach than they did in my bathing suit. The kids appreciated the fact that I was able to sit down in the sand and build sandcastles rather than standing around trying to stay clean.
I understand that my unwillingness to put on a bathing suit when I was a size 28 was my own decision. I probably shouldn’t have cared what other people would think, but I did. I did care, and I still do. Body image, operation beautiful, and other such thoughts are wonderful, but it still comes down to doing what you are comfortable with. Sometimes it takes feeling uncomfortable with yourself in order to get motivated enough to change!
I wonder if there are certain clothes that you are waiting to wear before you lose your weight and get healthy? Or are you like I wish I was – confident whatever your weight?
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I don’t like wearing anything sleeveless or tops that are too short so that my belly hangs out.
Strangely enough I’m fine in a bathing suit… We went to the beach last summer and I had a great swim.
I’m even all right with being naked (in the locker room at gym or at home).
But yes, shopping for swimwear is a pain!
Hanlie´s last blog ..I should have known…
I don’t do bathing suits unless I wear a “dress” type cover up. I feel like the odd man out many, many times. We live in Florida!
@ Hanlie – I think you have a great self image and that’s sooo good! I watch the tops too, because I am pretty much modest by nature!
@ Monica – Thanks for coming by again! I still like the cover-ups. I miss Florida!
I have a skirt bathing suit and I wear a swim shirt over that! I’m so uncomfortable in a swim suit – I really understand where you’re coming from. It doesn’t matter what size I am, I’m not sure I’ll ever feel OK in something so revealing to complete strangers. I also don’t like anything that shows my arms or my belly.
Amy H.´s last blog ..Chicken Bones
yeah, I also am not fond of bathing suits – I truly just avoid pools and the beach. The shirted ones that probably would fit me better just scream FAT to me, so I won’t buy one. (No offense to anyone who has one!). Here’s looking forward to the day when I can hopefully be less self-conscious!
@ Amy – My current bathing suit is skirted, but I also have one that I swim laps in. I think we are all in this together!
@ Pam – I hope that day when you feel less self-conscious comes really soon! I don’t love the skirted bathing suit, but I did find a relatively “cute” one!
Oh, I also wanted to thank you for alerting us all to Jen’s post…we need to support her during this horrible time.
Pam´s last blog ..Weekend Winding Down
It is amazing that after all the work I have done, I still don’t feel comfortable in a bathing suit. Now with age, there are some things that weights & diet just don’t help & I just have to learn to stop thinking that way! I don’t mind shorts, sleeveless tops & the like BUT that bathing suit.. it is a hard one! I do wish like your last statement, that I felt confident no matter what! Thought provoking!
@ Jody – You look awesome in your picture Jody. I too wish I had more self confidence. Perhaps I will someday!
As you know, I went swimming last week and while the swimming part was fun, the bathing suit part, at least the leg part, is still incredibly tough for me. I’m fine until I get to the inner thighs. Not a fan of the skin. BUT…I did it because I wanted to swim more than I wanted to hide. I did, however, wrap a towel around my legs when I got out of the pool, just so I could feel comfortable.
I actually made peace with my arm and armpit skin and will wear sleeveless shirts and dresses in public without thinking about it anymore. That took a lot of mental work, that’s for sure. What other people think is still a huge part of my journey. Someday maybe I’ll get over that completely, but for now, I’m a work in progress.
Lynn Haraldson-Bering´s last blog ..Dissecting the Book “The End of Overeating” – Part 1
I haven’t struggled with weight, but I’ve always hated shopping for bathing suits, too (and just about every other type of clothing as well). Even women I know who look great seem to find fault with their bodies. I’m not sure what the answer to that is.
Kathy Garmus´s last blog ..And the winner of the poll is … everyone!
@ Lynn – I enjoyed your swimming post very much. I use the towel between the pool deck and the water too. It just makes me feel more comfortable. Thanks for coming by!
@ Kathy – It’s good to know that even people who haven’t had a weight struggle sometimes don’t like shopping for suits! Makes me feel much better.
I hate wearing a bathing suit even though I’m no longer overweight. I really think it’s a modesty issue – I sometimes feel like I’m the last modest person left in the world. I feel so exposed in my suit even though it’s a one piece suit cut modestly at the leg openings. I’ve felt like this my whole life, even as a skinny high school girl who shopped for a suit to cover my perceived figure flaw at the time – unsightly protruding hip bones! I am extremely jealous of men who get to buy a suit based solely on waist measurement and then are covered almost to their knees when wearing their suit. I’d love to return to the days when women’s suits looked like tank tops and extended to the knees! Not going to happen, I know.
I wrote a blog piece about my “Bathing Suit Miracle” that Diane has already seen, but maybe some of you others might like to read.
http://leahs-new-ending.blogspot.com/2009/07/bathing-suit-miracle.html
In case you’re worried, I do look for modest tankinis, with a tank for a top and a skirt for the bottom. I promise I’m not one of those large women scantily clad out there at the pool. LOL! Though I may be more comfortable now I am a modest dresser, and I do put a cover up when I’m not in the pool swimming.
Babbalou – Believe me – you are not the last modest person on earth, because I’m one too! Men do having bathing suit shopping easier – pants too for that matter!
@ Leah – I liked your bathing suit post. It is easier to find cute, modest suits now then it used to be isn’t it? Thanks for coming by!
I have not even owned a bathing suit for at least 10 years…but we are planning a belated anniversary trip to Hawaii (!!!) this fall, and I am going to have to get one. I’m dreading it, even though I’ve lost more than 90 pounds and am getting close to my goal weight. So far, I just can’t bring myself to even try one one. And the trip is looming! Ugh.
Shelley B´s last blog ..Stress Eating
Most of the time I’m pretty confident- but I also have quite a few clothes that I reserve for days when I’m feeling thinner. It’s ridiculous, but I can’t help it.
I don’t mind wearing bathing suits and that kind of thing because all of us (people in general, I mean) tend to be to busy worrying about how we look than looking at other people and judging them… it’s kind of nice to know that no one else really cares at all how I look in that sense!
Sagan´s last blog ..Poll: The Difference of Five Pounds
@Shelly – You will be fine! Have you checked out Land’s End? They have good quality suits, and they also have that virtual me section where you can “see” how the suit will look on you. It’s fun to try out!
@ Sagan – You are right – we worry about what people think far more than we probably should. I have my thinner feeling clothes too!
I can’t wait to break out my spandex onesie…
Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit´s last blog ..My *Perfect* Month
I definitely related to this post. I always felt so conspicuous when I wore a bathing suit when I was heavy. This summer is the first one in a while where I have worn a suit and haven’t really worried about what other people think. I am still overweight and have about 30 more pounds I want to lose, but I think what has changed is my confidence in myself. My body has done amazing things for me like getting me through a 5k and countless hours of cardio, and I guess I am just proud of what it can do! That makes it easier to wear something like a bathing suit. And while I probably will never be comfortable in a bikini, I will wear my bathing suit proudly.
By the way, I know your husband! My husband and I both work at Union. (Well, I did work at Union. My position technically ends this month!)
erin´s last blog ..August Goals
@ Jack – Please don’t! Please. . .
@ erin – That is amazing how much you have changed your body and your attitude. Excellent job! Erin – I’m going to ask John about you!
I think this is a pretty common feeling among women especially no matter what our size may be. Body image is such a tough thing! It would be so nice if we could all just accept and love our bodies no matter what!
What a nasty little topic, lol. Here’s my problem…I am in LOVE with the water. Was born and raised in Florida so we were at Jax, Ponte Vedra and St. Augustine Beach all the time. The suit is a must…but a hated one. Don’t think I’ll ever be comfy in one…will probably always wear the little black skirt over the black one piece suit…and a great big shirt over that when I’m up walking around. Even when the weight is gone, I’ll have some loose skin issues on my inner thighs that will prevent me from ever wearing one without the skirt. Oh well…not the worst thing in life! At least all the other clothes I’ll be wearing should look pretty darn good when the weight’s gone! And that’s something to celebrate!!
Tammy Ortagus´s last blog ..Pushing Harder
@ Trainer – I think you are right. In the perfect world we would all be accepting of ourselves, and of other people. Good point.
@ Tammy – You are right. It’s not the worst thing in life is it? Especially considering what happened to Jen’s mother. You are also right when you say we should celebrate the accomplishments we have made!
I decided this summer that I was going out in a bathing suit no matter what and I did. Fat rolls and all.
Lisa´s last blog ..Congrats Stephen!
[...] think Diane from “Fit to the Finish” Read her blog here was with me Saturday on my trip to the beach because she posted about wearing a bathing suit this [...]
@ Lisa – Good for you! I sure wish I had had your confidence!
@ Barbie – Thanks for the mention in your blog!
I lost weight and I still don’t feel comfortable wearing a swimsuit. It thought I would, but I guess I still have that mentality from back then
Diane, for me it was that I didn’t feel comfortable without a shirt on. For a guy it is tough to be around a bunch of other guys who want to play a game of skins and shirts, but not playing for fear you would have to be a skin. I am still not where I am totally comfortable shirtless, but I am far closer than I was.
South Beach Steve´s last blog ..One Last Day of Rest
@She-Fit – I’ll bet as you adjust to the more fit you, you will once again be comfortable! You are so close to where you want to be!
@ Steve – My husband doesn’t really like to be shirtless either. Thanks for the comment!
I am a waiter! Sometimes I feel less confident NOW then I did 55 pounds ago. The bathing suit is certainly one such item.
KK @ Running Through Life´s last blog ..Without Words: Heavy Hearts (Please read for Jen)
KK – Wow! You can tell from reading these comments that you are not alone in the confidence level thing! Let’s all vow together to increase our confidence this year!
My main reason for having a suit is for our hot tub. Fairly private, so I don’t have the angst of going out in front of other people too often. Haven’t been swimming at all this summer, but it’s just because of the lack of opportunity. I have a long torso, so it’s a challenge to find a suit long enough. I prefer the skirted ones if swimming in public, but those don’t work well with the jets in the hot tub.
I found a cute one piece at Walmart with ruching and a v-neck, small skirt sewn on at the hips. It’s pretty flattering. Then I read in a health magazine to look for a one piece with a v-neck and ruching, so I did good! 
Love your blog, Diane. It covers so many good topics!
MamaBearJune´s last blog ..A very sad time
@ MamaBear – Here’s a funny story. When we bought out house it had a hot tub, but we didn’t think we wanted one with the kids, so we gave it away. We constantly see the people we gave it away to, and they always tell us, “We love the hot tub!” We kick ourselves everytime we see them!
It sounds like you made a great choice of a bathing suit. I’d never have thought to look at Wal-Mart. I’m tall, and often have a hard time finding one that fits properly.
Diane, thanks for stopping by my blog! What an inspirational story you have! You are gorgeous, inside and out.
I think swimsuits can be like 360 degree mirrors…they accentuate (or so we think) every little flaw in our bodies. For me, it’s interesting that pretty much every woman I know (no matter how big or small) has at least one complaint about herself in a swimsuit.
Faith´s last blog ..Cardamom-Spiced Mocha
Growing up, my brother and I would always beg our mom to swim with us, and she would only occasionally agree. Most of the time, she stayed dry and in cover ups. Now that I’m older, I understand that it was because she felt uncomfortable with her weight, and that it prevented her from doing so many things with us. (I remember as a kid not getting why she wouldn’t ski or go on amusement park rides with us because they were just so much fun and why in the world would someone not want to.) I didn’t get that she didn’t because she was fat. Now I’m fat, and I get it. And this post of yours reminded me of that particular reason why I want to lose the weight now: I don’t want to have to give up memories with my kids, when I do eventually have them.
Your posts never fail to inspire me, Diane. Thank you so much for sharing all these stories with us.
Hadley´s last blog ..A New Colleague, and New Embarrassment
Faith – Thank you too. Your blog was just wonderful. I agree 100% with your comment about the 360 degree mirrors. I never thought of it that way. Even my beautiful daughters don’t think they are perfect in swimsuits, and of course they are!
@ Hadley – Wow – thank you so much for sharing that. My Mom was thin, but liked to stay dry so as to not mess up her hair. I think losing weight in order to be involved in our family’s is one of the most powerful motivators, as is giving them memories of us a participatory parents, not just ones on the sidelines. Thanks again.