“Honey, we are never going to have your favorite meal ever again.” You know, if I had said that, my sweet hubby probably would have been a little bit upset. Never have Chicken Parmesan again in his whole life? Or imagine if I had said, “I’m never buying cookies again. Ever.” Or even worse still, “No more ice cream. None.” I think I would have had a full fledged revolt on my hands don’t you? It’s something to think about.
It’s one thing to want to make changes for yourself, and an animal of an entirely different stripe when you are trying to make changes for your family. Before I started on my weight loss journey, I cooked whatever sounded good. Fried chicken? Sure. Brownies with frosting? Absolutely. Tortilla chips loaded with melted cheese? Anytime.
Once I made a U-turn on gaining weight, and started heading in the right direction I knew that changing my own eating habits were a good start, but I also realized that I needed to make changes for all of us! I also knew that if I tried to change everything at one time it might make my own journey more difficult. So instead of swearing the whole family off of high fat, unhealthy food, I decided to tread carefully.
The first thing I did was look closely at our favorite meals. Instead of ditching half of our favorites, I analyzed each recipes and made substitutions that would bring the dish into acceptable limits of fat and calories. The next time I made Chicken Parmesan, everyone raved about it, and no one realized I had cut the calories in half. I added in new recipes, and that made us all happy too.
Once I adapted the recipes, the next thing I focused on was our snacking habits. Pop-Tarts, chocolate cookies, peanut butter crackers, and other high fat snacks dominated my shopping list in days past. I switched to healthier snacks, eliminating the high fat, high sugar ones, piece by piece. Sometimes the children would ask for a particular food, and I would occasionally let them have it, but by and large, they didn’t complain.
I would have been remiss had I just focused on my own needs, and ignored the needs of my family. I knew that I wanted nothing more than for our family to be healthy together forever.
As you travel your journey, make sure to bring your family along, and not leave them behind! You can’t control their choices, but you can control yours. As the primary grocery shopper and cook for my own family, it was my responsibility to choose the meals and plan the snacks. I had the wonderful opportunity to make changes we all could live with!
By not changing everything at one time, I garnered the support and enthusiasm of my entire family, from my husband on down. The little children didn’t notice any difference, and John noticed, and appreciated all the changes I had made for his health, and my own.
Are there changes you’d like to make in your family’s diet? I’d encourage you to make them slowly, and not cause a revolt among your most avid supporters! What changes have you made, or what changes would you still like to make? There are still things I work on, one step at a time! Diane
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
YES YES on the bringing the family along.
In a different but same sense I saw many clients NOT BRING THE FAMILY ALONG because it was too much…bother? (wrong wording..cant think of better).
when I was a trainer I saw many women (only women. mainly because we do so much of the care for family I guess?) take hypercare of themselves after a while with nutrition etc and still feed their kids junk.
INITIALLY I thought they wanted to avoid the foodtimefighting with regards to “healthy” foods BUT the longer I trained many of these women the more I saw that it was a bigger “issue.”
that they were so selfhealth focused they took the easy way with others around them so they could BE SO SELF FOCUSED.
before I yammer too long
Im curious:
have you ever seen this?
it saddened and fascinated me.
MizFit´s last blog ..Are bloggers role models (giveaway post)?
Like you, I have made substitutions all along in my recipes and we have yet to be bored with the same few dishes a lot of people seem to get trapped by when trying to lose weight.
My 2 year old is of course the hardest, but in the long run will only know healthy choices in his life, and I am grateful we’re making these changes while he’s young.
Sorry…back again!
I’ll admit the snacking was the hardest part of the changes, and while we still indulge in the occasional chip or ice cream, its baked chips and fat free ice cream, and its been great!
Pam´s last blog ..REACH
@MizFit – really interesting point. I have seen people get so focused on themselves that they forget to bring the people they love along with them. It is sad.
@ Pam – Sounds like you are making good changes. My two year old is a great eater, it’s my four year old who gives me the hardest time. But this too will pass!
I think this is really, really good. Sometimes I get focused on me, and forget about the fact that this is for LIFE! Not for just NOW! I need to really work on getting my family healthy too. Thanks again for a great post.
Diane, I agree with your one step at a time approach. My wife does most of the cooking, and she has not fully come around to a healthier eating approach, but she has made some great strides. Unfortunately, there are still soft drinks in the house on occasion, as well as sugar-laden cereal, and other snack that I wish would go away, but they are less in quantity than they used to be. In addition, her cooking overall has changed some to match my diet. With all that being said, I tread very lightly there because I am not the one planning the meals and doing most of the cooking. For that, I truly thank her.
South Beach Steve´s last blog ..Woot! Great Start to the Week!
@ Monca – Good for you on thinking about your family, and thinking about life after weight loss!
@ Steve – It’s probably good to tread lightly, because if she is anything like me, she may say, “Fine then – you cook!” Not that I’d ever do that
) It’s hard sometimes with kids too – because although mine eat healthy snacks, we still buy the occasional box of Pop-Tarts!
When I eat better, my kids eat better. I spend more time planning, and it trickles down to them, too. What I’ve discovered is that they love fresh fruits and veggies more than I thought they would. Our big treat is yogurt covered raisins (high in sugar, but it’s a treat!). I’ve always given my kids good food and tried to hide my bad eating habits. However, the older kids get, the more they know what’s going on, so I’m sure I wouldn’t have been able to hide it forever.
As for cilantro, maybe try parsley? I think color is 1/2 the recipe, and the yellow/green contrast is nice.
Amy H.´s last blog ..Peaches for Me
This is a very important point! I do think it is important to get the family eating healthier BUT in the way you described in your post. Many children are overweight & obese due to what the parents are feeding them so we have to make changes but in a way that works for all. You did it right!
My hubby is not like me in terms of food BUT I keep experimenting & have him eating better & he still likes the taste plus got in some healthier snacks for him BUT he still can enjoy his “other foods” too & in moderation.
Great post!
Jody – Fit at 51´s last blog ..More New Exercises
@ Amy – It sounds like the planning is really paying off for you. I’m always surprised when my kids get excited about fruit as a snack! Who knew? I’m going to try the peach salsa with parsley. If I never had it with the cilantro I won’t know the difference!
@ Jody – Thanks for the compliment. I still have room for improvement, but I do try and feed them good food. It’s hard though. I’ll bet sometimes your hubby doesn’t even know how good the food is for him!!
So true! My chicken Parmesan is one of my husband’s favorites, but I figured out that I can sear the chicken in a little olive oil and garlic without the breading and make him happy. My old recipe also coated the pasta in Alfredo sauce. (I now know how bad that recipe really was) I really need to try the Weight Watcher’s version of low fat Alfredo sauce.
My husband has lost 10lbs since I started eating healthier in spite of his daily lunches at Wendy’s!
LoriAnn´s last blog ..My First 5K or how to come in last gracefully!
This is so true. My husband would never have been/would never be supportive of me if I would’ve started only cooking veggies and grilled fish for everyone (an exaggeration, but you get the point). So, little by little I add fresh fruit or extra veggies with meals and everyone enjoys them. I still keep desserts around for the kids, but I also keep something that is just mine and they know they aren’t allowed to eat my treats. It works for us.
Leah´s last blog ..All In Good Time
@LoriAnn – Yes – this is such a simple substitution to make, and saves tons of calories and fat! Great job on your success, and your husband’s too! I loved your last blog entry – seriously.
@Leah – It sounds like you are bringing them along slowly, and not slamming them upside the head with a 180 degree turnaround. Great job!
As I do all the cooking and the shopping, I’m making the decisions in what we eat.
The biggest snacker in the house is me, my husband doesn’t eat much snacks. So I buy one bag of chips a week which is enough for him. He wants a cookie at his evening coffee (dutch habit) so he gets it.
I’ve been cooking healthier for the last nine years so we are both used to it. I must say I don’t always cook recipes with low calories. But my problem isn’t my 3 meals a day, it’s the snacking so I try to get that under control.
Fran´s last blog ..A day in my life: Monday August 3th 2009
Great post! I so agree that it’s all about making small changes at a time and to involve everyone in the family. I think it’s important to talk about food choices with our kids (of course, these talks have to be age-appropriate).
I have watched many families where the mother (and sometimes the father) eats “super health” but the kids eat junk food all the time. I think a treat once in a while is fine, but we should find things the whole family can enjoy together the majority of the time. Having said that, when I make some “healthier” cookies (half the recipe at a time), they are eaten by hubby, the teenager & the toddler; there is nothing wrong with a treat once in a while…
Andrea@WellnessNotes´s last blog ..Farmers’ Market In Pictures & Weekly Meals (Aug. 4 – Aug. 7)
@ Fran – You make a good point, that if we are the ones doing the shopping and cooking, it’s really up to us what comes into the house. Snacking is hard for a lot of us!
@ Andrea – It’s good to have treats sometimes. I think if we don’t then we crave them all the more. I’ve seen families like you describe too. It’s an interesting thing isn’t it? I often wonder if they see it themselves.
I do rather okay when I’m by myself (I’m single, and live alone), but the bobbles I have is whenever I go over to visit my best friend and her family or go home to see my parents. My mom and dad raise angus cattle, and we grew up as a “meat and potato” family. It’s hard not over eat there, and my mom is always wanting me to take more –though she isn’t overweight at all, and never has been. My dad, however is a little overweight.
My best friend’s family has really good metabolism and genes, in that none of them are overweight. I eat there every Sunday after church, and their meals are usually unhealthy. I guess in all of these experiences though, I just have to work on MODERATION. I don’t really have a choice in what I’m able to eat, so I just have limit it, and make the best of it!
Lori´s last blog ..Tuesday Tuesday
It’s really important to get family and friends in on being healthy without them feeling deprived. Making small changes and not making a huge deal out of it definitely helps a lot!
Sagan´s last blog ..Poll: The Difference of Five Pounds
@Lori – Moderation is so important to learn, and so hard. Especially if you are with people who say, “Eat, eat, eat!” They love you so much, they want to share the love! It took me a while to be able to do this. Thanks so much for the comment!
@ Sagan – Small changes make it all the much easier to get everyone on board. It’s good to be able to influence people we love and care for in positive directions.
This is so true! I have been thinking about how I will raise my kids (who don’t yet exist, haha) to eat healthy, and I am hoping that when they do come along, I will be so grounded in healthy habits that they won’t even know anything but healthy foods and the occasional treat.
erin´s last blog ..August Goals
Since I started the healthier eating 7 weeks ago, my roommate Shane has told me he now prefers brown rice over white, he told me he also perfers my Arnold’s whole wheat 100 calorie sandwich thins over white bread, and he also told me he prefers ground turkey breast over ground beef????!!!! Some awesome things are happening around here, lol.
Here’s the added bonus….my boyfriend Dwayne, who doesn’t even live with me and I have not even attempted to change his eating habits in the least….has been picking up on what I’m eating on his own, and making little changes himself. He still hates veggies…but he’s moving further and further away from the fried food choices to the grilled ones. He’s cut down his fast food intake by at least 2/3 and now goes to a local grocery store to order a turkey sandwich on wheat from the deli. He’s been eating light mayo and mustard on his sandwiches at my house on the weekends…and is even eating brown rice over white rice, and adds a dash or two of worcestershire to it.
I’m finding all of these incidental changes really exciting.
Tammy Ortagus´s last blog ..Pam is Guest Posting Tonight…WOO HOO!!!
@erin – It’s so great to plan ahead, even if the children aren’t here yet! You will be so far ahead of where I was, and everyone will benefit!
@Tammy – That is so exciting that you are having a positive influence on the people around you. So often it works the other way, but you are obviously the kind of person that people follow. Great job!
I’m so lucky that my husband (no kids) enjoys most healthy foods and has actually introduced me to foods that I didn’t use to eat–like kale, beets, and lentils. He is very tolerate of all my food experiments and just grateful that someone is making food for him.
Patty´s last blog ..Maybe it is the sauerkraut…
I am so fortunate that my husband is totally on the same page as me. In fact, I would still reminisce about something we used to have and enjoy, while he just says he’s glad we don’t eat like that anymore. A few weeks ago we went out for burgers (at a proper restaurant, not fast food). He hated it! I often ask him in the morning what he would like for dinner that night and he always says salad!
As much as I have railed against my lack of children, I’m actually quite grateful that we have the opportunity to change our lifestyle and the way we eat BEFORE having children. Our kids will never know about the unhealthy food out there (we don’t have TV)!
Hanlie´s last blog ..Time for another change
@Patty – You are lucky! My husband had never had a fresh green bean his whole life until we got married. They were always canned! I still marvel at that sauerkraut post you put up!
@Hanlie – You are very fortunate to have a great, supportive husband. How interesting about the burgers, and how our tastes change over time. When you have children, they will only benefit from your new knowledge!
WOW! Great post. I am currently in the process of bringing my husband along. I truly think that he has the worst eating habits ever… no fruits or veggies… everything fried. In fact, he has never touched major fruits like apples and bananas in his entire life. His mom just never introduced him to them. I am slowly bringing him to a healthy lifestyle by cutting calories on all those fried foods. Now if i can just get him to eat some veggies!
She-Fit´s last blog ..Apple Butter Fruit Spread- Zero Calories
It’s a very subtle thing. My DH and I are total opposites, so he does his thing and I’ve never complained or tried to change him. However, now that we have fruits and veggies around, especially salads, he eats them–huge salads. Yep, it’s subtle, but it’s working. My son is eating a lot healthier, too!
Jo´s last blog ..Reflective
@She-Fit – I can’t imagine not having grown up enjoying basics like bananas and apples. How good that you are helping him get healthier! Good luck on him with the veggies. If you figure it out let me know – I’ll try the same technique with my four year old!
@Jo – Excellent! I found too that when I didn’t buy the junk, they didn’t eat it. And if salad was abundant, they learned to enjoy it! Great job.
Ha ha. I did that once. I make haystacks and I used fat free cream of chicken soup, fat free sour cream and 1% milk. They didn’t know the difference!! I made them white rice and me brown rice.
@Christine – It’s amazing how easy it is to make changes that are good for our families, while at the same time helping us on our own journeys. You are so sneaky. . .
)
Oh it is so hard to influence people’s behaviors without them revolting! I think you have done a wonderful job!
The one person I want to influence is my older brother, who is overweight and unhealthy. I have yet to figure out a good way to persuade him to change his eating habits and increase his exercise, but I’m hoping he will change over time, bit by bit.
My 3 Month Challenge´s last blog ..HYC: Little green person
What a great post! I’m doing lots of changes both for me and my partner, who’s desperate to lose weight be a little confused as to how. I’m changing lots if our favourite recipes, and it’s working really well!
Cxx
Claire´s last blog ..Shiny!
Great post indeed! Being fit for your partner and for your kids is an obligation for me, because i wanna be healthy for my kids in the future. But my diet is good even my kids love it.
Cheers,
Erin
Erin Huggins´s last blog ..Oil Pulling Therapy – Hoax or Natural Remedy Worth Trying?