When is free food not free? When the free food adds inches to your waistline and pounds to your scale. When the free food has enough calories in it to qualify as a separate meal, and when instead of being free, it binds you further into your own downward spiral of unhappiness with your weight.
What free food am I talking about? The free food many sit down restaurants offer you while you are waiting for your meal to be served. Let’s look at a few common free appetizers, and see why they aren’t really free.
- Olive Garden Breadsticks – 150 calories per breadstick (and who eats just one?) source : www.dietfacts.com
- Panchero’s Mexican Grills Chips & Pico de Gallo Salsa – 572 calories for 5.5 ounces (That’s about 60 chips, so if you ate half of that, it’d be about 280 calories) source : www.dietfacts.com
- Logan’s Roadhouse Rolls – 227 calories per roll – again, can you just eat one, and should you even eat one? source: www.thedailyplate.com
Those are just three examples to get you thinking whether or not the free food is really free.
In my obese days, we went out to eat ALL the time. Not every night, but at least 4 out of 7 nights you would find me settling into a chair at a restaurant table, or trying to squeeze myself into a booth. Sometimes I didn’t quite fit into the booth, so we had to move to a table! That should have been a little clue to myself that 1) I shouldn’t be eating so much, and 2) that I should have tried to cut down where I could when eating out. But unfortunately, that didn’t stop me in the least. When the server came over and asked if we’d like some “free food” while we were waiting, I always piped up and said, “Yes please.” Sometimes I’d even ask her right off the bat to, “Please bring extra rolls” because I loved them so much!” And if we were at a Mexican restaurant, I’d ask for two bowls of tortilla chips because there were four of us. Remember if you will, that two of “us” were only 2 and 5, and they really didn’t eat much. To the server’s credit, they never rolled their eyes in front of me, but I’m sure they did when they turned around. I would have!
So the free food came and went. I ate 2, 3 or even 4 rolls before my high fat meal showed up. I could easily eat two bowls of tortilla chips by myself. It was like an eating fest, and that was before the actual restaurant meal came. Looking back, I”m surprised that I wasn’t embarrassed to eat so much in front of John, but at that point I was so far into satisfying my own desires that I honestly didn’t care what he thought.
As I started down my weight loss road for the last time, I knew that I needed to make a drastic change in how I approached restaurant meals. Realistically, I understood that I wasn’t ready to stop eating out, so I needed to start managing the restaurant food rather than letting it manage me. The first thing I changed was instead of accepting the “free” food, I rejected it.
This wasn’t always easy. The first time we went to our favorite restaurant, Roadhouse Grill, was a very different experience than previous encounters. When the server showed us to our table, I asked her to take away the peanuts. John looked at me as if I had lost my mind, but he didn’t say anything. We sat there, and had conversation with each other, not missing the peanuts too much. But when the server came back to get our orders, she had a basket full of yummy yeast rolls, their tops glistening with melted butter. As she began to set down the basket, I put my hand on it, picked it up, and handed it back to her. “Can you bring it back when our meals come?” I asked her. She nodded, and left.
We eventually got our entrees, and John enjoyed his entree and the rolls, and I just ate the portion of the entree I knew was a proper serving. I resisted the rolls, because I knew I didn’t need them, although right then I wanted them!
Time after time, as I was losing weight I had the opportunity to practice not only asking the server to not bring the “free” food when I was with my own family. But I also practiced resisting the urge to eat it when I was out with non-family members. When dining with friends, I’d always have a piece of gum in my purse, to help keep me occupied while I watched my friends pig-out on bread, butter, and chips. They never judged me, or really even said anything about the fact I wasn’t eating the freebies. Instead they ate it all, without my help!
Restaurant dining can be a lovely experience. Trying to focus on the company you are with, picking the healthiest entree’, and eating within your plan is yet another way to move yourself further towards your goals. The free food may be fun, but it’s not really free. These days, I can have the free food on the table, and if I really want some I have a taste. But nine times out of ten I resist. I’m not there for the bread or chips, I’m there for many other reasons.
How about you? What do you do with the free food? How do you handle it if you are with a group of people?
I’m always amazed that every time I get ready to eat out I say – I’m not eating the bread, but I do. I’m so impressed that you approached this from EVERY SINGLE ANGLE! Thank you so much.
I’ve been out of town so I missed some of your posts. I wish I had read this before I went out to eat and ate almost the whole thing of chips. I didn’t eat the whole thing, but part of it!
Love the gum idea–because if you have dining companions who want the bread/chips/etc, it’s hard to get away with sending it away.
I’ve learned through the years that unless the bread is really some sort of special bread (and there’s a restaurant we go to with a foccacia to die for) it’s not worth using up “indulgence” calories on plain white bread and butter. If I’m going to splurge at a restaurant, I’d rather wait for dessert. And by then I’m usually full enough to decline.
@Keri – It’s so hard isn’t it – because so often it is sitting right there in front of us!
@Monica – Glad you are back! Well, just put those chips behind you and keep working towards your goals!
@Crabby – I agree 100%, if it’s so wonderful you will be sorry you skipped it, definitely have some!
Totally one of my weeknesses. Thanks for putting some strategies. For me, if I’m eating chips (especially), I MUST move them to my own plate and eat a “serving”. I cannot eat them from the basket, otherwise, I’ll eat and eat and eat and eat.
I love free food. But more than anything anything anything, I want to be at my goal weight. THAT’s what I keep telling myself.
Lola´s last blog ..Official Weight – Week 47
@Lola – You are welcome. I like the serving strategy too, especially if, like Crabby said, it’s something you really love. Your last sentence is spot-on!
Not too many restaurants over here do the rolls anymore. I think restaurateurs realized that people were less likely to order starters or desserts if they were given rolls before the time. Over here most people are watching what they eat to a certain degree. I have no problem saying no to the free food anymore, since we don’t go out all that often and I may want to treat myself to a dessert instead.
Hanlie´s last blog ..Snippets
When I read your title I first thought you were going to talk about free foods list that many diet plans say ‘eat as much as you want these foods do not count’. That idea has always bugged me. And I know of one plan that did stop doing that – there were people that ate sooooo much of the free stuff that they gained weight. I like the idea of portions and eating at meal time – the free for all quanities just seems wrong on so many levels.
We ate out a LOT before also. It seemed like a mini-vacation to me. I think it was not only the food – but it was also the idea that someone was taking care of me.
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@Hanlie – I think that’s great, whatever the reason. You have such good wisdom.
@Vickie – I have that on for a future post, because I too disagree with those diet plans that say some foods are completely free. There isn’t such a thing! Thanks for coming by!
wow– you are again so right on in your articles! i feel like we have had so many similar experiences. like you, i had so many warning signals along the way that should have propelled me into action, but didn’t. i never had the booth issue, but i did have the restroom stall issue at a couple of places, where the walls were narrow, and my hips pretty much hit each side of the stall as i entered it. having to use the handicapped stall for comfort should have been my wake-up call that i was making a self-imposed disability by allowing myself to be so obese, but i held steady at that weight for years.
now, looking back, i cringe at so many of those experiences, just like i cringe at how many chips and buttered tortillas i could pack away, before getting my huge combo plate. it helps me so much to read how you have been through the same things as well, and that you look back at it as a recollection to not go back to that place in life.
great strategies for avoiding the “free” foods! another type of ‘free” food i am avoiding lately is all of the free teacher appreciation food that is out there at my workshops for the start of the school year. yowza– it is everywhere! but i have bneen thinking about david kessler’s book “the end of overeating” and i keep in mind what he said about americans expecting giant platters of food to just show up all the time, not even at mealtimes. i have been reminding myself that i don’t need it, and that what i want more is to be healthy. it also helps that i have rejoined my old district after being away 8 years, and people i used to know keep coming up to me being startled by my weight loss, so that’s been fun!
thanks again for your blog– you are awesome!
These past two weeks have been free food at birthday parties. We went to a swim park this week and the hosts were providing lunch (pizza, hamburger, hotdog). When she asked me what I wanted, I just said no thanks and ordered a cheese pizza for my son. I can’t eat that stuff anymore. Likewise on the cake and ice cream. I finally realized people don’t really care WHY you’re not eating, so a simple, “no thanks” will do.
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@Angie – It does sound like we had very similiar experiences. Aren’t you so grateful that you have gotten on top of them! I have friends who are teachers, and boy do they have to work on developing an iron will! The food there is incredible.
@amy – I forgot about birthday parties! Those can be deadly to a diet, the cake, the chips, the candy! Good for you – I learned about the “no thanks” too.
I still struggle with this myself, though I’ve gotten better at not eating so much of my entree if I ate the “free food” (usually tortilla chips) because I get full quickly. I’m still working on the “just say no” part of eating right out in restaurants.
I appreciate your honesty about your prior eating habits. Not only does it show us that you really were an overweight person with major food problems, but you overcame those problems and were able to change.
Great topic and great post! Yes, “free” food is tough! For me it takes being mindful BEFORE I step into a restaurant that I won’t eat the bread. I also don’t go to the restaurant “starving” anymore as I eat more regular meals throughout the day. I think when you go to a restaurant really hungry, you are much more likely to reach for the bread.
One of my favorite part of a Mexican meal are the chips and salsa. I don’t want to give those up completely, so I put about six chips on my plate and eat them with the salsa. I push the basket to the other side of the table so that I am not tempted to eat more. Also, my favorite part of the chips and salsa is the salsa, so I often order a salad and use the salsa as my dressing.
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@Leah – It’s not something you may can change overnight. But just starting to realize that here too, is yet another thing to work on is a great first step!
@Andrea – Planning is so important isn’t it. From not going hungry, to make a decision before you get there. And if you decide to eat a few chips, then you can do so without guilt, because you are in control! Excellent!
Amen. I am so GLAD that I found you. I am really REALLY strating to listen to my body. Tonight I ate after I went out for dinner tonight, because I think that I’ve gotten so accustom to needing to feel totally stuffed when I got to bed. Even if I don’t want to eat more, or I think to myself ‘wow I feel great, I didn’t overeat’ I come home and feel like I need to top up. Ridiculous I know. Have you addressed this?
I love the idea of free food. I think sometimes it was a way for me to avoid conversation. I am going to a conference this weekend and I am going to really focus on this. Focusing on the people and not the food.
Thanks so much! ~M
@Michelle – I’m glad for your site too, very inspiring. I’m not sure if I’ve written yet on eating after dinner, but I’ll shoot you a quick email. It’s on my list of blog posts! Interesting thought on the conversation aspect – I hadn’t thought of that!
Well, yesterday I had just one breadstick at Olive Garden. Actually, since starting this journey, I’ve eaten there a few times and I think I managed to eat just one breadstickthe entire time. Trick is to not devour it, take small bites, and really enjoy.
I consult my WW book every time I go to a Mexican restaurant. I can never remember how many chips = how many points, but I find out, then count my chips out. I think that is even more difficult than the breadsticks, as it’s so easy to just shovel them in.
I go in with the mindset that I don’t have to eliminate what I love, I just have to control the portions. It’s woriking. But oh, that desire is still there to snarf.
Jo´s last blog ..My Day
Hi Diane
This is such a wonderful point! For some reason, we as humans are like magnets to “free” food. And I realized this has nothing to do with money, I have seen people who are more than well off, never once passing up an opportunity on “free” food. I know I saw a lot of this at my work too. People would have their normal lunch, and then someone brought in a box of something, say doughnuts and people ate them as if they hadn’t eaten in days.
As for the restaurants, another huge culprit are buffets are find. Most people I see don’t have a limit, they just eat until they are literally very uncomfortable.
My solution to this is as your article eludes to, just be conscious, of where I am, what am I doing, how much am I choosing to put in my mouth, etc.
@Jo – Good job on the breadstick control! I like them too, and when we go there, sometimes I’ll have one, and sometimes not. I think it’s wonderful that you are planning what you will have before you get to the Mexican restaurant. It makes dining out a pleasure again!
@Evita – We do love free food don’t we?! It’s an interesting phenoma about the fact that if it’s there, for a lot of us, we eat it regardless of whether we are hungry. Thanks so much for coming by!
I have a friend that I meet for lunch just about every week at Carinos and long ago we mutually decided on “no bread” – the yummy, herb-infused mini loaf that they plunk down on the table, along with roasted garlic and herbed olive oil. It’s so good – but we figured we reallllllllly didn’t need it.
Great post topic!
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@Shelly – How excellent that you and your friend mutually decided to forego the bread together. What a great thing for both of you!
It depends what the free food is. Regular bread I’ll not bother eating. But if I’m at a fancy restaurant and we get an amouche bouche, I definitely have it. And if it’s something that I really love- such as Olive Garden breadsticks- I WILL have a couple of those. But I eat them very slowly and savour only two.
It’s all about picking and choosing what we really enjoy and what we’re willing to sacrifice.
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I have gotten some very surprised looks from people giving away free food samples when I’ve said “no thanks!” I guess they don’t hear that much
Wonderful, wonderful post – very insightful. Sometimes it’s hard to say no, but it is so well worth it. I always tend to eat the free bread, but I need to remember to just say no
Happy Friday!
Lainie´s last blog ..Green Living
@Sagan – I agree. It depends for me too. Sometimes I’ll have a little bit, or sometimes not. I think too, just being in control of whichever choice we make is really important.
@Dr. J – I have too. I bet you are right – they don’t hear that much. Especially if they are giving away something extra tasty!
@Lainie – Happy Friday to you too! I usually say no, and I never regret it when I do.
Here in Holland we usually get some bread at a restaurant. And I have to admit that I always eat some of it which is a waste because I’m already filled a bit before my dinner arrives.
Next time I’ll try to remember this post and try to resist the bread!
Fran´s last blog ..Tomorrow will be the first day of the rest of my healthy life
Well, the Golden Corrals around here stopped automatically bringing rolls to your table during the low carb craze – you have to actually ask for them now.
We have a tendency to order take out instead of eating in, so we avoid a lot of the free food that way, except for Carrabas Italian Gill- with your take out, they give you a whole loaf of bread, a packet of olive oil and the spices to mix in it, and the Parmesan cheese! This was a reason I loved them when we were not trying to eat healthier, and why we avoid take out and eating in with them now.
Pam´s last blog ..Weigh In for 8/14
@Fran – I’ve always wanted to visit Holland! It’s okay to eat some as long as you just don’t eat the whole basket like I did! But you bring up a good point that if you eat it, then you may be a bit full for the actual meal.
@Pam – I used to love Carrabas, but we don’t have one in our little town! I never actually understood the whole oil thing with the bread because it just seemed so incredibly decadent and unhealthy. But then when I remembered that butter is 100% fat – what’s the difference?! Sounds like you are doing really well making good choices!
You always write such great posts that we all can relate to!!!!! Who can’t relate to “free food”. It is part of our culture & dining experience. We want the bread/roll basket on our table ASAP after we sit down OR those chips at the Mexican restaurants!
It is definitely a learning & practice approach & you have to make yourself important enough to say NO to free food. Even if there are others there & you can’t send it back like you could with your GREAT & UNDERSTANDING hubby, you still have to MAKE THE CHOICE to say no.
I am at a point where if I am going somewhere & I know they have bread “that is worth it” to me, I plan for it. I am not a butter person so I always eat my bread/roll plain cause I just love bread.. that is me. BUT, really, PLAN!!! If you must, plan for it. BUT, if you can’t stop at one OR you know you can’t stop at 3,
, just say no!
Also, how about that free food at places like Costco. I know people that go there on weekends just to walk thru & eat all the samples. Think about how many calories, fat grams & such you can add on to your day doing that!!!!
THX DIANE!!! Always relatable!
7 KIDS! Wow! and you find time to visit my blog? I am very much honored. I think a lot of my free food is when I eat in the car…or standing up…SIT DOWN! Food isn’t nourishment if its moving….
Special K ´s last blog ..Budgeting Bliss
@Jody – It is part of our culture, and we do want it RIGHT NOW! And of course I agree with you about the planning part, it’s vital for success in all areas of our lives. Costco & Sam’s are another minefield of free food, especially on the weekends!
@Special K – I visited your blog when all the kids were occupied doing other things!! I enjoyed your blog very much, and thanks for the great comment.
GREAT post. Free food is always a struggle.
I think there’s something about the fact that it’s sitting right in front of you when you’re there and prepared to eat a meal. If I’m at an event where I know I’m not going to be eating (cocktail parties, receptions, etc), I can do okay because I’ve already decided I’m not going to eat. At restaurants, I’m in eating mode, and that just leads to badness.
I really love your writing, Diane. All your posts are just so relateable!
Hadley´s last blog ..Should I push up my deadline?
@Hadley – Thanks for the compliment – I like your blog too. It’s interesting about the cocktail party, because there it’s easy for you to turn down the food, but not as much with the restaurants. I’ll bet if you employed some of the strategies in my post, and that the other people have suggested, you will be able to do great next time you go out to eat!
I love all those ideas. I have found that when I choose a healthier meal at dinner, I am still enjoying myself, I still feel satisfied (not stuffed) and I feel a HUGE sense of accomplishment walking out without going over my food budget!
My family goes to a place that has baskets of buttered popcorn, which I could also eat the whole thing before my dinner gets there.
If you eat outside, you don’t get popcorn (they don’t want a ton of birds around) so I will suggest to sit outside to avoid that pitfall!
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What a great reminder
I don’t even think of the free food as part of the meal so I eat away!
Thankfully, the free samples at stores are in a tiny size so I don’t eat too much
Sana´s last blog ..Sometimes I just “forget” to eat.
@Jenn – I’ve never heard of a restaurant that served popcorn before. My kids would love that! If you go there a lot, sitting outside is a wonderful strategy to avoid that temptation. I’ll bet that smells great!
@Sana – It is good that the free samples are small. Unless you eat every single type they are offering!:) Thanks for coming by!
My weakness is the bread at the Cheescake Factory and glad I haven’t had a chance to go there over the last 6 months! But it is rewarding to have that power over the food, the ability to say “no” and realize what’s good for my body versus what is good for my tongue.
Ehren´s last blog ..A nice surprise
Thanks so much for stopping by my blog. I have a goal of finding a new blog to follow each day, and I’m so happy to have found yours via the comment you left me. Your success is an inspiration!
Enjoyed reading your comments about ‘free’ foods, and couldn’t agree more. In fact, my hubby and I were just out to dinner tonight at a favorite steakhouse and they brought 4 rolls to our table for just the two of us. Hubby and I each ate two a piece and I told him that was enough and he didn’t have to ask for any extras which he has a habit of doing. Well, I was about done with my salmon meal when the waitress stops by our table to ask how we are doing. My hubby pipes up that he would like a couple more rolls! Uggggghhhhhh! Our meal was already huge without adding more bread. The waitress brings out 3 more rolls which we then devour.
I’ve always had a problem of being an all or nothing gal. If I’m following my program I am strict and have no problem saying no to the ‘free’ food, but if I’m off the wagon I don’t say no to anything. It is a battle I am always fighting.
@Ehren – It is rewarding when you realize that you have turned the corner, and can say no to those foods you previously couldn’t. Good job!!
@2Bmeagain – Oh, what a nice compliment. Thank you so much. I can so relate to the story you shared. That was John and I – right there with you! It can be really hard to be able to learn how to say no to foods we honestly enjoy and appreciate. You will get there. I never thought I would, but I did!
Wow–this was spot on. I love rolls and butter and the bread sticks at the Olive Garden taunt me. I have a good friend I eat there with frequently and she has been a big supporter of my weight loss efforts. She now is the one to take the lead and ask the waitress to bring only one bread stick–for her. It is really hard for me to pass up the “freebies” but I know it can be done and I will be all the better and stronger for it.
teresa´s last blog ..What’s For Dinner?
@teresa – What a good friend she must be! You are lucky to have her. I agree with the difficult in passing up the freebies. This wasn’t a habit I conquered overnight! Thanks for coming by.
Yes, free good definitely ain’t free! It has a high cost. The best thing to do is avoid it. One of the worst is the bread basket at Mimi’s Cafe. Shudder.
MamaBearJune´s last blog ..My head is going to explode
Oh this is a toughie for me. I am such a restaurant freak…there’s something wrong with my brain…I associate good food at good restaurants with friends and family and good feelings and true delight. It’s going to take me a WHILE before I get this one conquered. I’m doing my best to stay out of restaurants until my resolve is stronger. Used to go at least 3x a week. Now it’s down to about once every 2 weeks. And it’s been hit and miss. One day I found myself stuck out with my 2 sisters at lunchtime and we went to a Mexican restaurant. I ordered 1 chicken soft taco and water. I did not touch those free chips. Not one crumb. However, I went out with 6 friends a couple of weeks after that to have dinner at another Mexican restaurant, and I ate half a bowl all by myself. Dwayne took me to Outback for my birthday in July. I had a side salad w/ lite dressing on the side, 3 grilled shrimp, and a grilled chicken breast, steamed veggies, and half the rice. However, that damn free bread got me. They have those little dark brown loaves with the real whipped butter. I ate 3 slices, which was a half a loaf. I watched Dwayne eat the other half, then he requested another whole loaf and ate the whole dang thing in front of me!!!! This is just a really tough one for me. I hope I get better at it as I go along.
Tammy´s last blog ..Unacceptable Weigh-in
@MamaBearJune – Free does have a cost. I’ve never heard of Mimi’s Cafe – it’s probably a good thing I haven’t!
@Tammy – Silly you – there is nothing wrong with your brain. You are just like many, many of us. The association between food and a good time is strong isn’t it? You have made such great progress on your choices. The occasional bread or chips isn’t going to derail your long term success. You are really working on changing your relationship to food. Good job!
Thanks for another great post, I really relate to this one! I also love to go out to eat (but also fortunately like to cook since I’ve got kids in college). After many years of failed attempts to lose weight, I finally decided that in order to succeed I needed to really analyze my eating – to see what worked for me and what didn’t work and figure out why my efforts kept failing. One thing I realized was that often when I wanted to go out to eat it was because I wanted a food (chips, something fried, dessert) that I had eliminated from my home cooking. Realizing this was one of my big breakthroughs. Knowing my weaknesses, we ended up pretty much sticking to the same pub for our date nights during my weight loss – it’s a great friendly place and they have really interesting salads which all come in two sizes. I decide before we go what I’m going to order so that the evening out doesn’t turn into a feeding frenzy or a test of my portion control. Boring I know, but it works for me. I have the pleasure of sitting in a booth across from my husband, I can enjoy a glass of wine or a glass of beer if I want, and then I eat my delicious salad. I don’t even look at the menu.
@Babbalou – That is so great that you realized that restaurant food was appealing because you didn’t make it at home, and then even better that you found a place you like, and can make good choices. Thanks for commenting!
The interesting thing about the free food is that it is usually a high-glycemic food, which in turn makes us hungry, thus we tend to be ready for dessert when it comes around. At least that is my opinion. I try really hard to not eat the “free” food any more.
South Beach Steve´s last blog ..Ready for the Weekend!
@Steve – You are right about the high-glycemic content in the free foods. Good opinion!
In all of my past attempts at losing weight, and they’ve all been using the WW points system, I was consumed with getting as much food as my points would allow each day. The idea that there were 0 points foods (free) thrilled me to no end because I could eat as much of those as I wanted and still eat other foods to use up my points. After so many times trying and failing with this system it finally dawned on me that 0 point foods are not free. If you eat enough of them then the calories add up and you are using points. So now I never count anything as 0 points. I always round up. It has helped me reign in the portion sizes.
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