As a new blog I get excited when I see someone mention my blog, so I just wanted to tell you that I got on this list! Thank you to all who read!
Now on to the topic at hand!!
When do you celebrate a weight loss? When do you declare yourself “cured, and fit, and whole?” We’ve all read the stories of people who have lost significant amounts of weight, and then gained it back. Goodness, there are celebrity spokespeople who even with all their vast financial resources, have problems with maintenance.
This is a question I struggle with myself, because while every pound lost is a victory, should there be a measure of “wait and see” before we celebrate in earnest? I don’t have the answer to this question, so I’d love to hear your thoughts.
There are people all over the globe who have lost weight, and then gained it back. For a long, long time I would have been one of them. I never lost any significant weight before my final try, but there were times during my diet #342, that I temporarily lost 20 or 30 pounds. After I lost the weight, I celebrated my success, and then saw myself regain the weight. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but it always came back.
So when do you celebrate? Is there the perfect amount of time that needs to pass before we can declare someone an “expert” (if there is even such a thing) at weight loss? Let me tell you a story that happened right after I lost my weight.
I had reached my goal weight, and at the suggestion of my pastor, wrote a workbook and developed a weight loss class. We advertised the class, and a room full of women showed up. I got up, introduced myself, and told my story. The first class went well, and then at the very end of class a lady said, “How long has it been since you got to your goal weight?” I said, “Three months.” She nodded knowingly and when class was over she left. She later called me, and told me that while she was very impressed with my weight loss, felt that I should have maintained the loss for a longer period of time before I taught a class. I told her I understood, but after I hung up the phone, I got upset.
I had lost the weight. I was cured. I had changed. But was that too soon to declare myself changed? I’m still not sure how I feel about that. For yes, I have been fortunate enough to maintain for a long time, but was I completely changed right after I lost the weight? Honestly, no.
For a period of time, it was a process of finding my way through maintenance. After I reached my goal weight, and declared myself cured, I still had to figure out what maintenance looked like for me. How much more food should I eat? How much exercise was enough? How much should I let my weight fluctuate?
Looking back, the lady in my class was probably right. It probably was too soon for me to say, “Yes – I can teach you.” It’s true that I could show them how I lost weight, and encourage them on their journey, but it was also true that I hadn’t proven to them, or myself, that the lifestyle change was real.
I think that every pound lost, and every healthy change should be celebrated. I always got excited every time another piece of clothing fit, or the scale moved in the right direction. But those celebrations of losses is not exactly what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the declaration of long-term success.
I’m seriously unsure about this. What do you think? Diane
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I see what you are saying, and I think for me, during the time that I’m finally shedding the pounds I need to get excited over each pound. But I probably wouldn’t consider myself an “expert” until the end of my days, because who knows what will happen.
I feel that every pound and milestone should be acknowledged. We know full well that losing the weight is only the beginning – the challenge is living a lifestyle that supports the weight you want to be.
Hanlie´s last blog ..Why do you exercise?
@ Keri – I think celebrating each pound is important, and very good. I guess the word expert is in the eye of the beholder right?
@ Hanlie – You are right about the challenge of actually changing our lifestyles. That’s the hardest part for a lot of people.
WOW
and congrats on making that list!!!
MizFit´s last blog ..PMS Cravings & Active Rest.
First of all, congratulations on making that list!
Now, regarding celebrating your successes, I have mixed emotions on this too. Part of me says that being overweight is like being an alcoholic. Sure, you may get past it, but you should never truly consider yourself cured. However, part of me says that is bunk and that those who approach this as a lifestyle change are far more likely to experience life long success. I don’t know the answers to the questions, and to be quite honest, I am personally scared to celebrate. I have been one of those big losers who consequently turned into a big gainer. That, my friend, is a place I never, ever want to go again.
South Beach Steve´s last blog ..Wednesday’s Word of the Day – Determination
@MizFit – You were on there too!
@Steve – I hope you never go there again either. It’s important to keep in mind where we’ve been, so we don’t return.
Congrats on making the list! I refer to my You On a Diet book often and use their website. That’s quite an honor, and well deserved.
I believe there are two stages to this journey: losing the weight and the maintenance. It is my feeling that maintaing is more difficult. I lost 70 pounds once before and didn’t/couldn’t maintain it. While I see your point about the class, I still think it would have been wonderful to attend. You had conquered the difficult task of losing a lot of weight. Of course you had valuable information to share.
I was just reading a blog where the man lost a lot of weight and had a poll on his blog: Would you pay to use me as a life coach. I clicked no. Honestly, the reason was two-fold. First, my gut reaction was that he had not maintained long enough. Don’t “they” say that 2 years maintaining is the rule of thumb? The other reason is I don’t really want a life coach. lol Yet, that doesn’t mean that I can’t take valuable information away from him or anyone that hasn’t got the maintenance down for a period of time.
Jo´s last blog ..Conflict/I’m a Ninny
Jo – it’s not the “offical” You on a Diet people – just another diet site that has a similar name!
Every other time I tried losing weight, I never celebrated or rewarded myself. This time, because I know its the last time I will have to lose this weight, I AM making it a point to reward and celebrate major milestones. I don’t do the standard 15-25 pound increments I see a lot of bloggers doing – to me that is too frequent when you have a lot to lose and it becomes less meaningful and special.
I did buy myself a kitchen gadget for 50 pounds, and went on a trip after getting under 300, and plan to get a bike when I hit 100. Beyond that, I haven’t decided, but at the end of all of this? I will celebrate my life every day, the energy, the health, all of it, for sure!
Pam´s last blog ..Just Eeked it Out!
@ Jo – Very interesting about the guy who asked about being a coach. I probably would have checked no. Thanks for the comment about the class – that class turned out to be a great one, and a lot of people had really good success!
@ Pam – Excellent points, about the rewards, your end of journey – beginning of life attitude. I love it.
Thanks for sharing the list and congratulations-yet another reason to celebrate!
For me, I just know when it is the right time to celebrate. I know if this is **it** and I have made enough changes to my lifestyle, or if I lost a pound or two due to something extraordinary. I have a strong suspicion that lots of people try to lose too fast and do not learn to maintain along the way. If you don’t take time to learn to maintain a 10 pound loss have will you maintain a 20 pound loss or 30 or 100?
Patty´s last blog ..I can kick and I can stretch and I can kick ‘cuz…
Cograts on making that list! Very cool. I love your blog!
Just_Kelly´s last blog ..Back to Business and a “More to Love” Rant
@ Patty – That’s a good point about the speed of weight loss. The change of lifestyle is huge – it’s really what makes the difference.
@ Just Kelly – Thanks so much!
Congrats on making the list Diane, I am not surprised your comments are increasing and your blog is becoming so well read – your journey and advice is inspiring
A Girl Running´s last blog ..Over Cautiousness
Congratulations on making the list – what a pat on the back!!!
As for celebrating, I do it along the way, although the biggies (50 and 100) deserve something particularly memorable.
As for being an expert – I think it’s one day at a time with everything for me, so I’m not sure I would ever consider myself an expert on ANYTHING, even if it looks like I conquered it from the outside. But that’s just me – other people might be different.
Shelley B´s last blog ..Workout, Ouch!
@ A Girl Running – Thank you so much! You are inspiring to me with your dedication to running.
@ Shelly – Good point on the expert definition. I’m hesistant to call myself an expert on anything – except maybe grocery shopping because I do so much of it!
Diane, a very intriguing post! I do think we should “celebrate” every little step in our weight loss journey. I think at first, celebrations may be better with no food type things & even later on too if your mind set needs to be that way. You mentioned how you when your clothes fit better, the scale moved etc… reason to celebrate. YES it is!
I do understand why people want to see that weight loss maintained for a period of time, especially since so many people gain the weight back up to a year after losing it.
For me, I have always been a work in progress. Yes, I have had my weight off for many many years but I also was doing things wrong even as I kept the weight off. So, we can lose yet not be doing it right. My post today addresses that.
I am much more knowledgeable now than I was in my 20’s and 30’s and even some 40’s. I kept learning & adapting to what my body needed for that point in time.
So, I guess, the key is to relish in your accomplishments but keep learning so that the long term weight loss stays that way. As we age, it really effects us & some women get depressed with the hormone crap & how it can effect our bodies. Don’t let it. Keep learning & adjusting!
OK, I think I went way off track!!!! Sorry Diane!
HEY, congrats on that list! I have not heard of that site & will check it out!
I’ve maintained a 150+ lb weight loss for a year and a half now and I still don’t want to do the “happy feet dance”. Yes, when I originally hit my goal, I did a “Mini” one while shedding a few tears of gratitude and happiness. But this journey is not over by a long shot ~ I have been going up and down 5 pounds ever since I hit goal. Is this normal? Not sure, I’ve never been anywhere near a normal size before. I’m grateful that I’m only having to deal with 5 pounds versus 150!
@ Jody – Thank you for the encouragement to me, and to everyone who reads your comment. It’s so great that our fitness levels aren’t set in stone at a certain age. There is always room for improvement, both in appearance and in health. Thanks again, and you didn’t go off track – it was wonderful!
@ Terry – Wow! Great job on the maintenance. I allow myself a 3 pound weight fluctuation, so I think 5 pounds of bouncing around is perfectly fine! Congratulations!
Diane, I think it’s important to celebrate the little accomplishments along the way to one’s goal. However, having made it to my goal twice now, I see I need to approach it differently when I get there this time. The final goal is not the end. It’s a beginning. And, the same things I’m doing now to lose the wait will need to continue to be done: eat as healthfully as possible when hungry, exercise, no bingeing. It’s important to accept that these changes aren’t just until I reach my goal, but forever. Love your thought-provoking posts!
Amy H.´s last blog ..Waiting
Diane,
God I totally know what you mean. I have lost about 125lbs, then gained 25lbs of it back. Partially becuase of emotional binge eating after some health stuff–ironically–and a crappy boyfriend. But more, and I am learning this, is that I didn’t think that I really was at the weight I was at. It was such a foreign place to be able to fit into a size small, to be in a size 10 pant..WHAT?!?!?! Not me..it couldn’t be.
I think sometime, we who have to lose weight, really do have to have a little grip on the grip of maintaining weight. It is something that doesn’t consume me anymore, but it’s in the back of my head..for sure. Ovecoming self-sabatoging behaviour is so crucial.
Thanks for this Diane!
Amy – Very excellent points. I too thought of my goal weight as the beginning of my life’s journey rather than the end of weight loss. You are doing great, and I love your blog a lot!
@ Michelle – You are so welcome, and thank you for the honest comment. You have done an amazing job, even with the little regain. You will get it off. I think your point about now being sure who you were at a smaller weight is very intuitive, and smart. It’s a mind adjustment all the way around.
Congrats on making that list!!
I think we just need to look at it differently. Celebrations are essential but we should be celebrating reaching a STEP IN THE JOURNEY. We never really reach “the end”. It’s all steps on the way to being the best we can be. With that in mind, we can celebrate but also know that we have to keep working hard.
Sagan´s last blog ..Our Likes and Dislikes
Since I’ve never made it to a goal weight, I really dont know if I’ll ever feel content and that the journey is over. Right now I view it as a life long journey. Viewing weight loss as a life long journey helps me to keep things in perspective. If I fall of the wagon for a few weeks, I know the world isnt over, what’s important is that I get back on the proverbial wagon. If I only lose 1/2 lb week after week after week, while it’s frustrating, it’s a life long journey and even the smallest losses add up eventually. I do have celebrations planned for about every 25 lbs lost, things like mini trips or a cute new purse. I’m trying not to let myself think of food as an award as I have done in the past.
Scale Warfare´s last blog ..Much better day!
@ Sagan – You’re right as usual. We never reach the end, we just begin in a new place.
@ Scale Warfare – It sounds like you really are making a lifestyle change. Just the wording you used makes it apparent that your mind is in the right place. Great job on already planning out rewards – I love rewards!
Hi Diane! Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment! I am inspired by your story and will be sticking around to read more! I honestly don’t think I’ll ever be curred, even if I reach my goal weight and stay there for years. I see myself more like an alcoholic. They may have been sober for 10+ years but they are still considered recovering alcoholics and still don’t drink. They may even mentor newly sober friends and give advice, but they have to be conscious of their choices each day. I see a lot of similiarities between me and that example. But again, that’s just me, I’m not sure how it works for other folks.
I’m adding you to my reader so I’ll be back! Have a great day! =)
Amanda´s last blog ..hellooooooo random!
Congratulations on making the list!
I don’t view myself as “cured” but able to make the right choices every day. And there are choices to be made every day. I choose to exercise, to eat healthy food, to not get upset when there are “slip ups.” I think it’s important to remember that I have to choose the “right” things every day; this will never stop. But it’s also important to acknowledge and celebrate all these choices that have made me a healthier person!
Great post, and great question!
Andrea@WellnessNotes´s last blog ..Weekly Meals (8/11 – 8/14)
@ Amanda – I agree with the alcoholic analogy, because even those who have conquered that addiction will generally still admit to being “one drink away” from having a problem again. Fortunately, we can still enjoy food even after weight loss, especially if we’ve changed our lives.
@ Andrea – I like your attitude. And you are right, it all comes down to choices. Choices along the way, and choices after we get to where we are satisfied.
Hi, I agree with Sagan, you should celebrate every progressive step and not think that this journey would ever end. I’m not sure anyone can really be sure that when they are faced with some mad adversity they wouldn’t lose hte courage and strength to find a way to keep fit and slim.
Also, I really LIKE the idea of someone just starting maintenance teaching weightloss classes. I would find it encouraging that the teacher had found a strategy to get them through initial maintenance and would find the weightloss they had achieved inspirational. by strategy, I mean that I think teaching a weightloss class is probably a really useful tool in maintenance because you repeat the lessons you have learned along the way, and probably are actively observing and helping someone or a group of people who are making some of the mistakes. I think you’re less likely to slide back if you have that kind of feedback loop and reinforcement going on.
@fd – You are probably right on the weight loss class being a good maintenance tool. I sure wouldn’t want to gain weight over the 10 week class – after all – what would they think?!
Over the years, as I’ve taught the class off and on, I’ve seen so many people who have gained and lost. It certainly is a complex issue – weight is.
Thanks so much for the comment.
I have to say that one major thing that drew me to your blog in the first place was the fact that you had kept it off for twelve years. I know plenty of people who have lost weight, I myself have lost 40-50 lbs in the past, but I know very few who have kept it off for any length of time. There are plenty that I’d ask what they are doing to lose it, but this time I really needed someone who had kept it off for years to be a mentor because that meant what they were doing was still working.
As for how long before you can declare your victory? Whew..good one. I remember when I lost 50 lbs in the past my husband and I were talking about liposuction-type surgeries. My friend’s mom had lost 100 lbs and it was something she was thinking about. I mentioned that it would be nice to have my stomach made flat (bear with me…I was a bit younger then..) if I made it to goal weight and he told me, “If you could keep the weight off for five years, I’d let you do it.”
I’m not saying that’s the answer to your question, but I remember thinking to myself that a person could probably feel like they had really made change and broken away from being heavy if they kept the weight off for five years.
I have to say that it’s one thing I can’t even think about now because it scares me – keeping the weight off.
I’ll just be glad to get halfway to my goal and then to the goal at all.
This is a very interesting post. Thanks for bringing it up.
p.s. So excited for you that you made that list!!!
Leah´s last blog ..Why, yes, that was me!
Leah – I appreciate the mentor tag! Sometimes the people in my weight loss class use that term too, and I’m never sure what to say. I think your discussion with your hubby is interesting. It’s interesting that he picked 5 years as the “right time” to maintain before a surgery decision should be made.
You are on your way to reaching your goals. I really think you will do it!
This was a great post – good thought provoking concept. And congrats on the listing too!
This is probably NOT going to be a popular answer but this is what I think:
1. I think the person has to really get to goal and then stay at THAT goal – I think the ‘good enough’ and then slipping up the scale and then slipping up the scale a bit more – but still staying well below their starting weight – is great. but I think it tells the story. Lots of things didn’t actually get changed – enough got changed to do better – but there is still a lot of work to be done. I see this behavior and worry – one major health crisis or personal crisis or family crisis and there is real potential for slipping right back into the old ways – because the person is ‘right on the edge’.
2. I think MORE than the weight has to change. I think that fat is the one that is most easily seen. We zero right in on that because it is so obvious. But there are many other factors ($$$, clutter, time-ly-ness, legal situations, taking care of health conditions, other addictions, etc) that don’t show as readily that are the ’same thing’ as the fat. I think for someone to really be safely in maintenance – all this other stuff has to change too. Is the work ever done? No – I think we are all works in progress. But if nothing has changed BUT the fat – we have just shifted from one disorder to another – and it is possible to shift back.
3. I think for many of us – therapy is needed. And maybe a psychiatrist and maybe medication. I am sure not for every single one of us – but I do think MOST of us. I think there are a lot of factors from our childhoods that mean that we do not have solid foundations. And this is not fun – but it is important to work with someone to resolve and learn to live with our histories. I think that I had very disordered thinking – and needed someone to help me get better perspective. Me personally – on meds for life and with my psychiatrist (probably for life). Staying EVEN in thought and deed is vital to my maintenance.
4. I think there is a time line for maintaining. And I don’t know what it is. I would guess somewhere between 3-5 years.
5. I think that to be a true maintainer – there has to have been majors tests – death of loved one, job loss, surgery. I am not saying that I wish that ALL upon any one person. But I do think that if every day is the same – it can be a precarious maintenance. In the beginning of maintenance I think we are all pretty careful in what we expose ourselves too – and that is important. We are not ready to take risks. I am still pretty careful in what risks I take. There is no reason for foolish risk. But I did have one surgery in my weight loss days and another in my maintenance years. And that really taught me that maintenance means NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS I do not turn to old habits.
vickie´s last blog ..A funny thing happened to me on the way to the concert
and I forgot to say – I do not think the measure for everyone’s goal is or should be the same. There are those whose goal is to weigh 200 pounds – and if that is where they can hold and be healthy. I think that is great. Not everyone needs to have the same weight range or measurement or size – I think that is a very individual thing.
vickie´s last blog ..A funny thing happened to me on the way to the concert
Vickie – Thank you for your thoughtful comments. I agree with all of them, and especially the additional one you listed. That what is “goal” for me, will not be goal for you or anyone else. It is individual.
I think probably 3 – 5 years of maintenance is a good gauge, because then they probably have experienced a lot of life’s challenges, and walked through them with their weight loss intact.
Thanks again – I appreciate the time you spent writing out your thoughts.
Congrats on making the list! you ARE awesome!
Lisa´s last blog ..I feel like crap today. AAAHHHHHHHH!
Rather than celebrating a finite event (weight loss), I prefer to celebrate an ongoing event (the gift of a new, active, healthy life I have been given since shedding 165+ lbs).
In this case, there isn’t just one victory; there are hundreds — big and small. But, as with any battle, there are victories and there are retreats.
So…maybe instead of claiming “the end of the war” — I’ll call it “cessation of hostilities” and pray for lasting peace!
Cari (aka Gastric Bypass Barbie)´s last blog ..Physically Full; Emotionally Starved.
Lisa – Thank you – keep up your good work and focus!
@ Cari – That’s a great way to put it – celebrate an ongoing event. You are right, there are so many victories along the way, and after the “goals” are met.
The thought of maintenance scares the crap out of me…I’m sure that would take some serious adjusting to, just like you did.
Each of us knows within ourselves whether or not “this” time is the “last” time. I know it is for me. I’ve got a new attitude towards healthier eating and exercise that I’ve never had before. Everything looks different…brighter…exciting for the first time.
Knowing that this is the very last time, I’m definitely rewarding myself along the way. It’s a fantastic incentive to push just a little harder on the days you don’t want to for me to reach that next 15 lb. goal. My big reward after losing the whole 92 lbs. is a week-long trip to the beach, probably Destin, FL. on the Gulf, with my handsome guy and my baby puppy dog.
Tammy´s last blog ..Lovely Ladies
I don’t have any problem with your teaching weight loss. You knew how to do it. Actually, they knew how to do it also
Knowing is easy, doing not so much.
See one, do one, teach one..works for me!
Dr. J´s last blog ..Rate of childhood obesity up sharply
@ Tammy – Don’t be scared of maintenance. It’s the best part of weight loss!!! I’m glad that you are rewarding yourself, because since it is the last time, this will be your final chance to get rewards for weight loss. Very good plan. I love Destin – I wish I could go there. Maybe next year.
@ Dr. J – Good point. My weight loss classes are fun to teach, and most of the people who come have fun, and lose some weight in the process!
CONGRATS on being mentioned! You sure deserve it
And I sort of relate this long-term weight loss success thing with my recovery from my eating disorder. When do you know when you have truly succeeded for good? The thing is, you can never know. Because this is a LIFE-LONG process. It’ll be something we face, from now till the day we die. So I just take things one day at a time. I fight and struggle for this day only, for each day’s battle only. If I failed, then that’s ok, because I have the next day. If I succeeded, I celebrate for that day, and be prepared for the next day. Each day has enough struggle in its own!
Sophia´s last blog ..All Thanks to Love, Friends, and Party-Poopers
Very interesting and thought provoking. I am speaking off the cuff here as of course I’ve not had time to really ponder the question.
I totally understand the celebration thing. I reached #180 pounds off last week at my weight watcher meeting, but I didn’t celebrate. I waited until this week. I breathed a sigh of relief when I had a loss tonight as if I’d gained, would my celebration really be valid? I decided yes it would.
I still don’t know how I feel about the woman phoning you. You were there to teach them to lose weight and you were qualified to do that. I feel that by the time they were at the point to learn how to maintain, you’d have had that down pat also. I’m sure they would have learned lots of valuable things.
I love how your posts make me think.
Debby´s last blog ..Looking forward to my pillow tonight!
@ Sophia – I have really enjoyed reading your story. You are wise beyond your years! Making a change is truly a life-long process, as you know from experience. Thank you for coming by.
@ Debby – I love that you’ve lost 180 pounds. That is amazing to me. You have a great attitude towards your weight loss, and I wish you all the continued success in the world.
The woman didn’t come back to the class, but I wish she had. I also wish I could have contacted her in five years and offered her the chance to come then.
Thanks for the nice compliment.
I have yo-yo’d enough to think that I will probably never be comfortable with describing myself as “cured.” And I’ve done it enough that I know that I have to celebrate and find the good in every pound that I take off or keep off so that I can stay focused on the positive or I will get depressed and give up all together. I would guess this is something that would be different for each of us depending on what or particular battles and circumstances have been. Good food for thought!
teresa´s last blog ..Introductions!
@ Teresa – It is different for every person, and we all react differently to every situation we are presented with.
Celebrating and focusing on the positive is a great thing, and I think one that will keep you going throughout your life! Positive thoughts really are important.
I checked out that list – way to go Diane! Very well deserved
And you’ve definitely raised an interesting point. The fact that you have done it (and as long as people do it in a healthy way) shows that you can do it and know how to do it at any time if you choose to. And, you can also choose to go back to your old lifestyle but you don’t. I think that’s what makes you a great teacher.
But it’s tough, I feel like I’m always trying to lose a couple pounds even though I’ve been at this healthy weight for a long time!
Robin´s last blog ..Hummus Disaster
another question to ponder – how do you know when you’re there? if i continued losing weight till i felt better about myself i’d probably look like a skeleton! so how do you know when you’ve arrived at maintenance?
What a good question. I think about losing the same 20-30 over and over again and wonder if I will be break the cycle this time. I’m 70 for heaven’s sake, and I have lost more over the years than I weigh right now. If I chart my history, it seems to take at least 5 years to gain the weight and then some time to acknowledge it. Then I go into carefully balanced eating and exercising until I get back where I am healthy. This time, I was prescribed statins and decided to eliminate those foods which created the problem. I hadn’t thought about weight coming off. I guess since I increased servings in some food groups and decreased or omitted others, I didn’t feel hungry.
I first want to say that our original list was going to contain 50+ sites and after we made the decision to chop the list down, I had to decide which sites added the most value to the web. Diane, your site is an inspiration and I’m very grateful to be able to share it with my readers.
I agree that every milestone should be celebrated. I personally chose not to celebrate every milestone with food but this post really got me thinking about when it’s safe to say “I’ve made it”. Great post!