Reaching a certain weight. Smaller clothing sizes. Improved fitness levels. Better health. Those are some of the various goals that people have in mind as they work hard to see the scale move in a downward direction. As the scale moves closer to the “magic number” or the fitness levels increases to a new high, a strange phenomena sometimes happens.
Fear and worry set in.
I’ve seen it more times than I can count in the contact I have with individuals who are working hard to lose weight and get healthy. They lose some weight, and as they get closer and closer to their goal weight, they began to experience fear. Often times it seems as as if this fear leads them into complacency, and then the complacency sometimes causes them to regress back to old habits. Every time I see it happen it just breaks my heart, because I know how hard they’ve worked to reach their goals, and how much they wanted to maintain their success.
Personally, even though I tried to lose weight more times than I can count during my decade long struggle with obesity, I never got anywhere close to my goal weight. But, I did lose the same 20 pounds over and over again. It seemed like 20 pounds was the magic number for me. I’d lose 20 pounds and think, “I’ve got this problem licked, so I don’t really have to watch what I’m eating anymore.” And then as soon as I began to have those thoughts in my head, the pounds came back on, and usually a few of their friends came with them.
So for me, fear wasn’t an issue until the last time I lost weight. The more I lost and the closer I came to my goal weight the more concerned I got. What would life in maintenance look like for me? Could I really keep off the 150 pounds? Would I keep up with the exercise? Could I stay fit? Could I prove to all the naysayers that I really wasn’t going to regain all my weight? Honestly? I wasn’t sure.
The first few months were a little bit frightening. I was thrilled to be a smaller size, a healthier weight, and much more fit. However, I was still learning to live in my new body, and feel out what I could and couldn’t eat without gaining weight. But after the first couple of months, maintenance was FUN!
I realized that fear and worry had no place in maintenance for me. Rather than fear I started to experience the fullness of life in a way I had forgotten. Fear was banished, complacency wasn’t part of my vocabulary, and I embraced my new body and attitude.
I’ve realized in speaking with people who have stopped short of reaching their goals, and regained their lost weight, that fear often times plays a role for them. Somewhere in their minds they are a little bit afraid of what the “thinner, more fit” person may be like. There is a comfort in the status quo, and to move past what they’ve always known into new territory can be scary. How do you feel when you think about maintenance and beyond? Is there any part of you that worries what it will be like?
If you do harbor some secret fear, I’d encourage you to take your hesitation and fear out of the closet and look at it in the light. I’d encourage you to trust me when I say that maintenance is the fun part – the reward for all the hard work you’ve been doing. There is nothing REAL to be afraid of. If you’ve lost weight by changing your relationship to food, getting fit and healthy, and worked on a true lifestyle change, then you can maintain that weight loss – rather it’s 20 pounds or 200. You can.
Don’t let fear of the future stand in your way or hinder your progress. Can you keep fear at bay? Do you have any fears? Diane, Fit to the Finish
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My fear evolved around trusting myself to not go buck wild and eat myself into 5 pound weight gain in one weekend. But it’s fading now. My taste buds, brain, and stomach just don’t have the capacity or desire to gorge anymore. When I think back to how I used to eat, I sometimes gross myself out. (seriously)
Yum Yucky´s last blog ..Taste Test: Lightlife Linguine Siciliano (huh?)
I started to type and realized that I had a posting that said exactly what I think about maintenance – here it is
http://baby-steps-v.blogspot.com/2008/11/half-baked-potato.html
sorry for passing you on to a link – but it would be too long to copy the whole thing over into your comments.
REALLY GOOD POSTING today. Yours are always good – but I think you are really finding your voice with these last few.
vickie´s last blog ..Yesterday (Tuesday) was as bad a day as I have had in a long time.
@Yum Yucky – I completely understand the grossing yourself out. I feel the same way when I think about how I used to eat.
@vickie – I’m glad you put that link up. It was a great post you did! I also appreciate your nice compliment.
Oh my gosh, I just love this post. I want to believe that maintenance will be FUN as you say. I am afraid even though I’m not where I yet want to be.
This is a great post, Diane! I have been thinking a lot about this lately, too! I can say that I think fear has played a role for me, but I am feeling like it’s slowly releasing as I’m working toward eating intuitively and trusting myself. I had doubts at first, but now I am feeling like I CAN do it and can manage this for the rest of my life!
I’d love to be on your blogroll! I guess I’m still fighting the fight, since I’m not quite at goal yet!
Marisa (Trim The Fat)´s last blog ..Morning Breakdowns + A New Recipe
@Monica – Maintenance is fun, I promise! I’d encourage you not to be afraid of maintenance, because the hard work is so wroth it.
@Marisa – That is wonderful that you feel your fear being released and are feeling more confident about where you are right now!
Diane, your post comes in very good time for me. Now that I’m getting closer to my target (8lbs to go), I find myself kind of testing my limits. Eating things that I know I shouldn’t, eating more than I should, being lazier with my exercise routine, especially in the last couple of weeks. I feel very weird, because while I love the number I now see on the scale, I agree that sometimes wonder if I’m ready for the ‘new’ me. And this is scary, because I’ve changed my habits so much since January in order to get to this point, and now I don’t want to start going backwards. I guess your post is what I needed to keep going on the right direction. Thanks once more!
@Ka – Congratulations on being so close to your goal weight. It’s okay to test the limits, because otherwise how will you know how far you can go? Just be easy with yourself, and you will come to love the new you.
Hi Diane – I feel you wrote this post exclusively for me! (I’m not that egocentric!) Thank you so much for all your thoughts on fear of maintenance. You know I’ve lost about 23 pounds, with a good 35 or more to go. I’ve been at this EXACT place several times and then seem to go on a mission to sabotage myself, but not under that heading. Just as you said, I think, “I’m okay here, so I can slack off a bit and just weigh each day to stay on track.” I’ve not gotten through this before (since my big gain back about 20 years ago) without ultimately gaining it all back and then some. This time I’m going to do it.
I can’t even imagine myself at 190, much less at goal. I even have a fear of continued weight loss. I want it, but the thought sends me into a brain blur where I can’t even get a handle on what it is that’s so intimidating.
I really appreciate your post, and already know it will inform what I write about myself today on my own blog. Thank you so much. I’m not sure what a blogroll is, but if I qualify, I’d love to be on the “fighting the fight” section.
Leslie Erickson´s last blog ..Scale addiction
@Leslie – I will add you to the blogroll. I think that you have hit the nail on the head with your comment. You’ve been there before, and don’t want to do it again. Just taking one day at a time, both as you reach towards your goal and beyond will help you adjust your mind to the new you. Congratulations on all you have accomplished.
Always great posts Diane! I think fear is big for all! Some fear the failure or expectations of others, some fear, yes, what it will bring, some expect to live happily ever after when they lose weight & that does not happen if the mindset if off so they go back to eating, some just fear the hard work it takes to maintain it. It is all so individual OR a combo of more than one thing.
I don’t have fears of maintenance anymore. I have that down BUT the age & fighting that part of the changing body does scare me. How will I keep it up as my body ages more. I thin about it BUT I don’t let it deter me. I just keep plugging along & when things need a changing, I work to figure out how I can battle the changes needed….
PS: I forgot about that blogroll. Being computer NOT savvy, I don’t know what that is & what being on it will do. Of course I am staying the course but curious what that is all about. Sorry Diane, I am so not with it!
Jody – Fit at 51´s last blog ..Reading Blogs Plus Health/Fitness Odds & Ends!
Diane – I think what I feel about maintenance is more anxiety, which I guess is a form of fear. My shoulders tense just thinking about it. I suppose what’s different this time is that I realize what I’m doing to lose the weight is what I’ll continue doing. My goal weight does not signify the end of something, but rather the beginning of a lifetime of good habits. Reaching my goal weight this time does not mean “I’m done” and I get to go back to eating whatever I want.
I know all this and still I have anxiety about how it will play out. It’s the land of the great unknown, and the unknown is scary.
Amy H.´s last blog ..Ham and Swiss Pizza
@Jody – Fear is big. And you said it just right – plugging along and making changes where they need to be made.
@Amy – The unknown is scary, and thinking about how maintenance will be for you is smart. So many people just focus on the losing, and the “end” rather than really thinking through what comes next. You are doing a great job by the way!
Diane, you are quickly becoming very important to me, as I move into the final phases of losing my excess weight and unhealthy lifestyle. I DO have a bit of the fear, because about 10 years ago, I lost 60 lbs. in 4 months. I was THERE. All I heard was “you look so gaunt”, and I was in an unhappy marriage, and within a couple of years the weight piled back on and then a few dozen more. So yes, I have fears. That said, I *know* in my heart that this time IS different. My situation in life is different, I’m more mature, and I have a biological clock ticking (way past menopause though) that makes me aware of my own morbidity and the danger of unhealthy choices now that I didn’t have before. I’m 98% sure that this weight is coming off for good, and the proof is that I’m throwing out the old fat clothes. That’s a statement of faith in myself that I won’t ever need them again. YOU are important because as I get closer to maintenance for myself, I need articulate, thoughtful bloggers like you to lead the path for me. To keep me focused and honest with myself. To light my way and hold my hand and be my inspiration.
and I would be honored to be on your “still fat” blogroll.
THANK YOU for being you and being here.
Sunny´s last blog ..Biggest Loser Work Contest: end-of-week-2 weigh-in
@Sunny – You are very welcome, and thank you for all your nice compliments. I’m so pleased to read that you really feel like you are “there” in your head to lose this weight and keep it off. Great job on throwing out those fat clothes. That was a big thing for me too. You can maintain your loss and just move on with your life as a fit person!
I used to have fears, but I feel that I’m slowly learning ways so that I don’t fear when I get to that stage of weight loss. I know how to pack it on, but I also know how to take it off. I’m not saying it will be easier, but I know that it’s doable…I just gotta get there – and I am on my way!
kat´s last blog ..Longer, Better, Faster, Stronger
Yes yes yes, I am looking ahead, even though I am only about halfway there, and have been nervous about the maintenance, since its never happened before – it was always just a rebound. Thanks for the confidence builder!
(and yes, please add me to the Fighting The Fight side, if you will : ))
Pam´s last blog ..Walking Down Memory Lane
@kat – You are right – it’s not easy, but it is definitely doable. Great job!!
@Pam – I will add you. Rebound is a good word for what happens to so many of us. You being halfway there is awesome. I’m so happy for you. . .
I had a personal trainer that used to tell me, “you can’t diet forever”….how true is that? Your body needs a break from dieting.
I lift a lot of weights for my workouts to keep my body in shape. I cannot build muscle without added nutrients so I can’t stay in diet mode for too long or I’ll lose and never gain muscle.
Joanna Sutter´s last blog ..Have a Second Cup, Gorgeous
@Joanna – Your trainer was right – you can’t diet forever. It’s absolutely impossible. You are very wise in your choices.
Hi Diane,
I think about the reasons for this self sabotage a LOT! Why is it that I can be so focused, determined, and then when things are going well, I seem to mess it up! This has happened to me often, and it drives me crazy. Often for me it has to do with a stressful event and then falling back into old “self calming” habits, which all center around food. I am working on being more mindful to change this aspect.
I would be honored to be on your blog roll – I suppose I am still fighting!
Amy´s last blog ..Hectic Wednesday
@Amy – That drove me crazy too, and still does sometimes even now. Not so much with weight, but with other goals I have in my life. I think your idea of being more mindful of how you are feeling and the choices you are making is very wise.
Even with me losing just a few pounds, maintenance has always scared me. “I can’t keep it here!” I would tell myself. Thanks for this post
I can relate to this fear. It’s definitly there. I’ve seen so many people who have lost as much weight as I have gain it all back, and I’m scared I’ll get complacent and gain it all back.
But then again, I’m a very, very stubborn girl who likes to get what she wants. I now have the body and habits that I’ve always wanted. ALWAYS wanted. I’m just not trusting myself right now.
But I’m almost there with the weight loss, and when I go into maintenence mode, no matter how scared I am, I am even more so determined that I will keep the weight off.
Thanks for the great insightful post, and I would love to be on your blogroll. You can put me under Fighting the Fight.
@healthy ashley – I understand that feeling completely. But you know now that “you can keep it here!”
@Hope – I like your attitude. I’m so glad that you have the body and habits you always wanted. It’s okay to feel like you are still fighting the fight, because in some ways we are all still fighting.
Thank you thank you thank you. It was like you were talking directly to me with this column! I didn’t realize it was common to get stuck or go into reverse as your goal weight neared. I thought it was just me. While not intending to, I’ve been on “maintenance” for nearly a year since I’m bobbing up and down a few pounds with the low weight being just 7 pounds above my goal weight. On the one hand it’s nice to know I can maintain and not shoot back up to my old fatty weight. But it’s like as soon as I see the weight drop back (yet again) to only 7 pounds above my goal I feel like I’m starving and go completely off plan. Once I’m up a couple of pounds the intense hunger goes away. This has happened at least 5 times over the past year and I thought it must be that my body likes the extra 7-10 pounds, but your column is making me rethink that. Maybe I’ve got some hidden fears, I’ll have to ponder that.
Babbalou – It is definetly not just you! It is so common. I think it’s really important to listen to your body. I think a lot about that last 10 pounds, and rather or not the fight to maintain a low weight (for you or me) is worth it or not. If you have been able to maintain at this weight for a year, then perhaps it’s the right weight for you. Just a thought.
I knew this time there was no going back for me…I wanted the weight off and it is going to stay off this time come what may. I did experience plenty fear as I got to goal,I knew from the many other times I tried and lost that I could not go back to the old ways of eating once I had reached my goal weight, in the past I went on such strict diets, and then wanted to eat all that I had to give up…and weight came back.
Having done the WW program I have not given up any foods, instead its been my choice to have or not to have, no one has said * you may not have this or that * so now know that I can keep the weight off if I continue this way and make this my new lifestyle.
I still have days were I pig out on nuts, or snacks if out, find if I’m bored, but then always make sure its a day I’ve trained or I train the next day…balance is what I have in my life now.
But the fear I so understand, I used to spend hours chatting to my mom in South Africa from Germany saying just this…I’m so scared I gain all the weight back..think thats normal…and U?
Marcelle´s last blog ..Attempted Photo Shoot.
@Marcelle – You also state the truth as did many of the other commenters that you knew you could not go back to the old way of eating. The balance you describe is just how I live my life too. Congratulations on all you have accomplished.
I forgot to mention in my comment yesterday that I would be honored to be included in your blog roll. I think I belong in fighting the fight rather than staying the course.
I’m not afraid of maintenance. Maybe it’s just that I’ve never been close, but honestly it doesn’t seem that scary to me. I plan on keeping up with daily weigh ins, and returning to a harsher diet if I ever go more than 5 pounds above my goal weight. After all I’ve been through losing the weight, I don’t think I’m going to let myself go back.
Hadley´s last blog ..Turns Out My Office Is a Lucky Place
@Hadley – I think it’s wonderful that you aren’t afraid of maintenance. You have such a strength that comes through in your writing and in how you live your life. I’ll be happy to put you on the roll!
This was just what I needed to hear.
Add me please!!!
Melissa´s last blog ..GOAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I honestly don’t fear that aspect of it, because my way of eating is for life, not for weight loss. There will be no change in the way I do things. I don’t even think of it as maintenance. It will just be business as usual.
Hanlie´s last blog ..Under the weather
I very rarely read comments (on other blogs. yes, I do read them on my own) – but I have started popping back to read yours each day – and I am really enjoying them.
I love the topics you bring up and how much thought and detail that people put into their replies.
I can tell that you get people THINKING and also writing about how they FEEL. And being in touch – in a constructive way – with how we feel is a pretty important step of each of our processes/growth.
vickie´s last blog ..Yesterday (Tuesday) was as bad a day as I have had in a long time.
@Melissa – Congratulations on reaching your goal. That is so exciting for you.
@Hanlie – Very good point about there being no fear because of the change in your lifestyle.
@vickie – I think about this every time I read the comments from the great people who read my blog. I’m amazed at how insightful they (and you) are.
Yes, I would like to be on your blog roll… (I have a new site)
http://inweighovermyhead.blogspot.com/
About the fear, YES! Now that I have done this a few times, I am so affraid of gaining weight back again it seems not worth it to bother.
Lisa´s last blog ..Howdy Y’all!
I’m in the opposite end. I’m trying to gain, but I have a small fear that I will just keep gaining and gaining, and be unable to find a healthy maintenance. When do I know when to stop, or will it naturally stop? I suppose I still have yet to learn to trust my body…
@Lisa – I’ll add you for sure! I’d encourage you to not let the fear of maintenance stop you from continuing your success. Over time, the fear will turn to confidence in yourself.
@Sophia – It sounds like it will be a process for you. I think you will be able to find a healthy maintenance point. One that is healthy for you, and easy to maintain. You can do this for you, and for your future! I hope college is going well.
Hi Diane, great post! Made me really think about my fears. I am not sure if I am even conscious of all of them yet. I do know that I have used my fat as an excuse for too many things in my life and there must be fear about not having that excuse anymore after the weight comes off. I am doing my best to work with this fear. I appreciate your thought provoking posts.
For me, it’s the same 30 pounds that I’ve lost and gained. I hope to work toward not just losing it this time, but addressing the reasons why I eat too much in the first place. I would love to be listed under Fighting the Fight. Thanks!
LAF´s last blog ..There’s no riesling to take it personal…
@Kat – Some of my fears weren’t really apparent to me until I had lost quite a bit of weight. Then when I saw I was really doing it, some fear did set in. You will be able to handle anything!
@LAF – That’s so important to address the reasons for the weight bouncing around. Only then can we move past and deal with those reasons. You can do it!
Some time ago I wrote a post on losing weight while in maintenance mode. I am losing weight, but so slowly as to make it look like maintenance more than weight loss. I sometimes feel frustrated, but for the first time in my adult life, when I lose 1/2 pound or a pound, it actually stays off. I’m learning some fantastic maintenance skills, but most important, I am losing weight by making small, but permanent changes to the way I eat every day. I travel frequently, eat in restaurants for days at a time; I have to find ways to exercise in hotel rooms, and travel by car with a range of yoga equipment in the trunk of the car. In the past 9 months, I’ve gone from slowly but steadily gaining to weight to the opposite. How long will it take me to get to my goal? I don’t know. But I’ve found the right way for me.
Diane, I love your blog and I’d love to be included on your blogroll, but I’m not exactly sure where. How about under “intuitive eating”?
NewMe´s last blog ..Protein
Put me on the Fighting the Fight list….for now. I’ll be moving to the other list in another 57 lbs.
Yes, I fear maintenance. But not as much as I did a month ago…the further along I get, the more I realize it’s not going to be something to fear, once I reach it. But I do have to say, most of that is due to YOU and YOUR BLOG!!! You are the only maintenance chic I follow…so expect plenty of emails when I get there! lol
Tammy´s last blog ..Someone Noticed
@NewMe – You know, losing weight while maintaining is something I hadn’t thought about. But you bring up an excellent point about your slow rate of weight loss being like maintenance, because you are not regaining those lost pounds. I’m so impressed with your intuitive eating, and how it is working for you!
@Tammy – Alright – you let me know when you hit that goal and want to be moved. Maintenance is not a fearful place – it’s a joyous place. I love the term “maintenance chic.” I might have to start calling myself that!
Its about taking daily steps toward your goals.If you dont set a plan to lose the weight it will just compound nad compound. Like trash in a shoot. So go out and lose those pounds by taking action.
Positive Gangsta´s last blog ..Re-buliding Your Soul By Melting Your Heart
In answer to your title…YES. haven’t been near my goal weight since I was about 17 – 16 years ago.
Many times I can’t even imagine being a thin, more fit wife and mother, because I only was for once in my marriage/mom life and I only kept that weight off for less than a year.
I can tell you that there are times that even now I wonder if I’ll truly reach my goal weight some day. I have moments I worry about being able to keep the weight off and be the new, thinner “Leah” for the rest of my life.
I just have to make myself not think about it and keep plugging on. Why worry about tomorrow when today’s worries are sufficient for today, right???
Leah´s last blog ..HOT 100 – Week 1 Update
@Positive – You are right. You must take daily steps towards your goal. If you don’t, nothing will happen.
@Leah – Why worry about tomorrow? You are right in a big sense, because if that worry keeps you where you are today, then the worry is counterproductive. You can be the fit wife/mom that you long to be, and you are already well on your way!!
I don’t really have this kind of fear. My fear is that I will lose my motivation and fall off the wagon. I’m not thinking that is going to happen, but it is always in the back of my mind.
I’ have to update my blogroll too. Things have been so busy lately it has been hard to get around to it. If you find it worthy, I would love to be listed on your blogroll. I am certainly fighting the fight.
South Beach Steve´s last blog ..Wednesday’s Word of the Day – Change
I just this minute realized that you have your blogroll set up to note ‘maintainers’ and ‘in process’ bloggers. And I think that is a great resource for people. Some of the other maintainers that you listed – I do not ‘know’.
And when I was still ‘in process’ (the first two years) I looked long and hard for maintenance blogs (and at that time – they were hard for me to find, I am sure they were out there – I just didn’t know where to look).
If you would be so kind – please add me to your listing. (I consider myself a maintainer – because I did for two years – and this last 20 lbs – now 7 lbs – hiphip hurrah!!!! – is just sort of an after thought).
vickie´s last blog ..Yesterday (Tuesday) was as bad a day as I have had in a long time.
I think maintenance can be very scary. I let stress get the best of me several times in my life and gained quite a bit of weight each time. Not until I realized that I had to (and could!) make healthy choices every day no matter what, did I have less fear…
@Steve – I’ll add you – for sure. Losing the motivation is one thing that can cause us all to stumble, but I get the sense from reading your blog that you are motivated in a different way than you were in the past.
@Vickie – Yes – it’s divided. I will put you in the Staying The Course category!
@Andrea – Maintenance can be scary, because sometimes you just don’t know how you will react to different situations. And like you’ve expressed, the more time that passes, the more confident you become.
I’m afraid! I can’t even put my finger on exactly what scares me, but I have never been skinny. I have never fit in. I don’t know what my identity will be when I’m skinny. But gosh darn it, I can’t wait to find out!
MackAttack´s last blog ..Real foods…
@MackAttack – You will love your new identity – because it’s already in there somewhere. I discovered things about myself that were long hidden, but had never really disappeared. Don’t be scared – be excited. I’m excited for you!
oh I hear ya!! I still have 130+ lbs to go, and I’m already obsessed about maintenance!
Great post Diane.
Amy
Amos the Lion heart´s last blog ..I guess this means I’ve arrived
The only time I’m consciously afraid is when one of those unexplained weight gains shows up on the scale. I scavenge my brain to think what I might have done to cause it, worrying, and then the gain disappears just as mysteriously as it came in. The worry was for nothing. I’ve gone back to writing down what I eat, so that when the next gain happens, I’ll be able to quickly prove to myself that all is well.
Cammy@TippyToeDiet´s last blog ..In the Beginning (Giveaway Post)
I have known about my fears for a long time. I just don’t know how to overcome them. I come from a huge group of women. My mother is one of 7 sisters and I have lots of female cousins. These women had a hard life and had to pull together tightly to survive. When all of us cousins were born into an easier life, suddenly, anything that we did that might be considered a success, was seen as competition. “You think you’re better than us” was something I’ve heard way too often. Pretty soon the cousins were repeating this phrase. The aunts thought nothing of comparing my ample bosoms to my moms flat chest and talking about how unfair it was. This was all done in jest, they didn’t know what they were doing. But, when I started gaining weight, I didn’t hear any comments about my body anymore and that was important. And now, 20 years later, when no one cares about things like that anymore, I’m still holding myself back in body and other areas of my life so that I don’t make myself appear to be better than anyone else. I need to let this go! I have a young daughter who I want to be as successful and happy as she wants to be. I have to become a role model for her.
@Amos – Obsession with maintenance is much better than obsession with food! That means in your mind you are already there, and that is just awesome!
@Cammy – The scale does have a way of throwing curve balls at us from time to time. What a great idea to keep journaling, even into maintenance for reassurance that you are making all the right choices!
@Rhonda – Becoming a role model for your daughter is such a great goal to have. It sounds like you have had to work hard to overcome some of the messages that were sent to you as a child. I’m sorry you had to go through that. You can achieve your goals, for yourself and for the future generations.
I typically don’t. However, I am friends with a lot of women who are 10 years older than me, and they’ve somewhat given me a complex. They’ll say “oh just wait ten years and it won’t be that easy to be skinny like that.” They don’t mean to be rude, but it kind of irks me a little.
I ahve to admit that when I saw your blog post scroll across my google reader this morning I said to myself ‘well you’re not a mainteance, so I don’t know how well this post is going to affect you.’
Why would I ever doubt your words?
I totally TOTALLY know what you mean by this fear factor. In fact, I had a bit of a melt-down this week and I wrote in a book that I am reading, You can heal your life, that I was ‘afraid to give up food, the weight loss journey, etc. because then WHO would I BE?”. I think that sometimes, most of the time, people start identifying themselves as the woman who is dieting. Not the woman who is at their goal weight. It’s the far fetched, for some, number that when they get it..it’s like a hot potatoe..someone else must have it because I couldn’t have possibly done that myself.
That’s what happened to me. I lost about 130lbs and then I freaked out. I didn’t recognise myself any more and it scared me. The fat voice in my head..the one that I had become kept telling me to eat. Then I did. However, now I don’t fear losing the weight or being there at the weight I was. I don’t fear gaining any more weight back. I don’t fear food.
I am finally at peace and look forward to getting there. Thanks for this post. I think it meant more to me than I realised.
M
@Paige – That would irk me too. I’m older than you are, and I’d never say that to you. Just chalk it up to insecurity and maybe a little jealously?!
@Michelle – Such a great point about identifying yourself by what you are “doing” rather than who you are! You have already proved to yourself that you can lose the weight, and now you are working to get back to where you deserve and want to be. I’m so happy for you!!
sidenote: I’d love to be on your blog roll…if you’d allow it.
M
Diane, stop writing blog posts about me! Just kidding.
But seriously, this is a fear of mine, and I need to do what you said and just bring it into the light and really examine it and face it down.
erin´s last blog ..Facing the Giants
@Michelle – of course!
@erin – You are doing so great already. I know it can sometimes be frightening, but you can get to where you want to be, and then maintain it. I have faith in you. (I fixed the error!)
I think I am good at doing what I’ve ‘always done’. That’s why it doesn’t bother me to lose slowly. If it is something that I just do. I’ll just keep on doing it. That is what I am counting on in maintenance. My sheer lack of movitivation to switch things up once I am comfortable. lol.
Oh weight maintenance, it’s a very loaded issue for me. I wish I could just “live” and be happy with my current weight but I still continue to feel like it’s a daily struggle. I wonder if I’ll ever just “be” and be able to maintain at the same time. That’s my ultimate goal
Fear is a big part of my process – recognizing it, and choosing to confront it, which I don’t always do. Thank you for putting it into words. I’ve tried to express it before, but wasn’t able to articulate the severity of it. Thank you…
P.S…I’d be honored if you included me in your blogroll!
Hopeful´s last blog ..Moving Right Along