I always had a hard time controlling myself around holiday food. It didn’t really matter whether the holiday was Christmas or Labor Day, food was a huge problem for me. I would start every holiday weekend with the best of intentions. And I needed good intentions because I was always on some kind of diet or another. I’d try and remind myself of all the reasons I wanted to lose weight, and how if I didn’t learn to handle holidays while I was losing weight, I’d never be able to handle holidays after I lost weight. (If I ever lost weight.)
I remember one Labor Day in particular. It was probably 1995, and we were members of a class at our church. We all decided to get together and have a big picnic. And with the big picnic came big food! I was alternately dreading it and looking forward to it. How would I be able to control myself around brownies, cakes, pies, barbecue, potato salad, and rolls?
I still remember John and I loading up the girls and making certain my cupcakes and brownies didn’t get smushed on the way to the park. When we arrived, the girls went running off to play with their friends, John stood around the grill, and I busied myself helping get the food setup. Oh, it all looked so delectable. The ladies had outdone themselves on this particular afternoon, and the food really was fabulous.
I kept hovering around the food table, wishing it was time to eat, and when the time finally came, I was so ready to dig into the bounty that I could almost feel my mouth watering. But as I was standing in line, a friend of mine said to me, “So, Diane – how’s Weight Watchers going?” I remember looking at her wishing she hadn’t come to the picnic. She had just ruined my afternoon. Now, I couldn’t eat like I had been planning to. Now, I had to be ‘good.’
“Oh, fine I guess,” is what I replied to her, as I started to scoop some potato salad onto my plate. I quickly pulled the serving spoon back and only put a tiny taste on my plate rather than the heaping goodness I had planned. And so down the line I went, no longer happy about the picnic food, but mad that my friend had brought up my diet. No dessert for me, no chips either, and certainly none of my favorite Hash Brown Casserole. No, I settled on a small piece of barbecue chicken, my minuscule serving of potato salad, some watermelon, and a bit of baked beans. I was so upset that John noticed something was wrong. “What’s the matter,” he whispered to me. “Nothing,” I said angrily.
I still remember watching all the other people pig out on the food while I pick, pick, picked at my baby sized portions. When the picnic was finally over we drove home. As we neared our house I caught sight of Chick-Fil-A, one of my favorite fast food restaurants. “Let’s stop and get something,” I told John. “I’m hungry.” So, shrugging his shoulders, he pulled through the drive-thru. I made him order me 2 chicken sandwiches, a large fry, a coke, and a dessert. The girls and John got nothing because they were full. Even as I was eating the food I felt like a complete and utter failure. I felt like a pig. But I couldn’t seem to stop.
I realize now, after all these years of maintenance, and the hundreds of holidays I’ve maintained my weight through, that I was looking at holiday food backwards. Instead of celebrating the day, I just wanted to celebrate the food. And instead of realizing that it was okay to have some of what I really wanted, I deprived myself and ended up pigging out on food that probably had more calories and fat than I would have eaten at the picnic.
What are some of your holiday memories when it comes to food? Are there certain foods you associate with Labor Day, and if so, will you be having that food over the weekend? I’d encourage you to remember that even while watching your food intake, it’s important to watch it realistically. Holidays happen, all year long!! Diane
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ooh.
this sentence: I remember looking at her and wishing she hadnt come to the picnic.
ARM HAIR RAISING.
my journey was smaller than some and greater than others but OH how I recall thinking precisely that one of the MANY times I announced with my big mouth
that Id decided to lose weight.
I clearly recall deliberately picking a fight with this poor unsuspecting woman in hopes SHE’D storm off and *I* could have some cake.
I have entirely forgotten that moment, Diane.
MizFit´s last blog ..First Person Friday: **drumroll please**
there is a dad that has been talking to me about weightloss as we wait for our respective girls after volleyball practice. (he is IN weight loss mode).
Tuesday he walked up to the bleachers (it was a game, not a practice) carrying a bag of popcorn. WHen he got ready to sit down – he handed the bag to one of his kids.
I didn’t know if
1. he truly had been carrying it for her.
or
2. he saw me sitting behind him in the stands.
but
I did wonder.
and I thought about telling him that if you ask – they will give you a bag that has NO salt. It has still been through the popper (oil) but at least it has NO salt.
But I didn’t. Because if it wasn’t for him, I didn’t want to set off ANY WANTS and send him back to the junk stand. But I did wonder if he thought I was the food police.
vickie´s last blog ..A funny thing happened on the way down the scale. My butt got bigger.
I can so relate to this because this has happened to me before. It was at a school fund raiser, and there was food for the volunteers. I was heading over to the donuts and a friend asked me the same question yours did. I still remember feeling angry at her because I couldn’t have the donut anymore.
As usual Diane, right on target!
I haven’t told anyone IRL, except my husband, of course, that I’m trying to lose weight for exactly that reason. I don’t want people scrutinizing my food choices. I will hold myself accountable.
Anytime we had a family function, I was always on the lookout for the bread and secretly died inside if I couldn’t go back for seconds or even thirds or more! I would just eat and eat the bread.
Amy H.´s last blog ..My Cat is a Tub of Goo
I will admit that I am a little afraid of how I am going to handle the Trifecta of Dieting Doom: Halloween, Thanksgiving,and Christmas! I think I’m finally in a place where I can enjoy the treats moderately and NOT feel like I have to eat EVERYTHING all at once.
Jill´s last blog ..Where did the week go?
Holidays are not really something that has been an issue with me, mostly because I don’t celebrate many. The only ones that effect me are probably Thanksgiving, Passover (my family is Jewish) and Christmas (I don’t celebrate but am forced to by my SIL’s family). I don’t really dread the food that much, but maybe I should. I over-eat more so when I’m alone.
Robin´s last blog ..My Path
Thanksgiving and Christmas are the biggies for me. I would find that being in the presence of so many people I really didn’t like would make me dive face-first into all the holiday goodies just so I could feel good about something (or at least the taste of it, anyway). I still have to deal with these people but am more aware of their affect on me and have resolved not to let them get to me – or my food choices.
Gigi´s last blog ..Thumbs Up For Blogger Buddies
I love picnic type food and I think I posted once about wishing I could be alone with all that food!
I did my shopping for our picnic yesterday and am proud of myself for all the good choices I made this year. Turkey burgers and fruit salad.
The hardest part about holidays for me is that I don’t seem to be able to handle changes to my routine. I tell myself that I will just eat small portions, not deny myself, relax about the whole thing, etc. (since I don’t really know what to expect), but then in the moment it’s like I just can’t think as I’m eating that fifth serving of chips. I wish I could come up with workable strategies!!
Sarah´s last blog ..Insomnia
I can totally relate to the picnic experience. I probably could have written this post myself.
Isn’t it funny how such an inanimate object as food can take over your life?
It’s good that it’s not taking over anymore.
Hope´s last blog ..Remembering Grandpa (Not really health related)
I can relate to your story. I have definitely been there!
Holidays have always been a struggle for me, especially when trying to lose weight. Being Italian, holidays in my family seem to ONLY be about the food! No matter how I try to convince my family members to focus on the actual holiday and just being together, it falls on deaf ears. There is always an OVERabundance of food and the thought of preparing it in a healthier or nontraditional way is a sacrilege! It’s a battle I can’t win, so I just have to try my best to make good choices and NOT take any leftovers home!! Cuz, believe me, there are PLENTY! LOL!
Thanks for sharing your experiences, Diane! You are such an inspiration! *added you to my blogroll, too!*
Marisa (Trim The Fat)´s last blog ..Good Things To Go
Every Christmas I go back to my country to visit my parents and the rest of the family. Christmas and New Year’s Eves over there also mean big dinners with lots of desserts (that I love). I eat everything, repeat, keep eating for hours. I keep thinking ‘it’s another year till I can eat all this food again, so I need to have as much as I can’. This will be the first year I’ll make a serious attempt to enjoy all the people around me more than the food. I hope I’ll succeed. Great post, Diane!
Your scenario sounds all too familiar to me. Watching what I eat around others (because I know they are watching me) and then losing control once I’m in a more comfortable environment. Hopefully, like you, I can break out of that routine as just one of the many steps toward becoming a healthier, more confident person.
LAF´s last blog ..Perspective
I don’t really deprive myself very often. I do tend to eat to much at gatherings and such, which is something I am working on. I actually will ask my husband for help at times and tell him to give me a gentle reminder if he sees me starting to go overboard at a party. (Only when I ask him to, though – he is never to be the food police for me otherwise).
The problem for me is that at gatherings there are many of the foods which I don’t normally have at home, so there is the tendency to eat to much.
On the flip side – I would never comment to someone about weight loss unless they brought it up first. It’s just not a great conversation starter, you know? LOL. I am not sure why that woman would say that to you and think it was okay, unless she was a very, very good friend.
Lori´s last blog ..Coconut water and easy mac and cheese.
Holidays are always a challenge for me as well. Mostly Christmas. Other holidays (thanksgiving, easter etc) usually consist of just ONE big meal. But Christmas seems to be a week or more of big meals, treats, leftovers… HARD. Labour day isn’t so bad for me, but I am going away this weekend, and I plan to repeat your advice to myself over and over again (inside my head so people don’t think I’m crazy)… “watch my food intake, but watch it realistically”!
Janet´s last blog ..Day 109 – Excited to Wear This Dress
Holdays for me have always meant lots of yummy foods also. Both my mother and my mother-in-law are great cooks, so there’s always plenty and it’s worth eating. I’ve always had the mindset that it’s just a holiday and it’s time to splurge a little.
To some extent I still feel that way, but ONLY if I plan ahead and decide what I’m going to splurge on. Will I have a little less of this to enjoy a small piece of that? I will be keep my portions small and allow the treat if I really want it.
We are going to a picnic at the lake for Labor Day and I’m already planning to take plenty of water, fresh fruit and some reduced-fat crackers for snacking. I don’t plan on overeating too much. Thank the Lord, I’m getting much better at stopping the eating when I feel satisfied.
Maybe we should all come back on Tuesday and let you know how we did this holiday?
Oh, and I sure hope your friend was just thoughtless and not trying to hint at anything while you were about to eat. That’s so sad and I was shocked when I read it. Aren’t you so glad you’re not still in that bondage? I know I will be when I’m finally completely on the other side of this journey.
Leah´s last blog ..Now You Know
My goal this year is to center my holiday celebrations around the joys of being with family and friends and not around the food. In the past, I’ve been guilty on putting too much emphasis on the eating. That changes going forward…
Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit´s last blog ..I’m Sorry, Bobby McFerrin
Just found your blog. GREAT post about holidays – esp “I was celebrating the food instead of the holiday”
Also found your post about lame wt loss advise from doctors. I know…..I AM a doc and recently blogged about my frustration with the mixed messages and confusion within my own profession.
Love this site – will be following daily.
DownsizingDoc´s last blog ..Checking In
Oh the dreaded question about dieting! while in line to pig out! Don’t you hate it! Sometimes I just want to smack people when they do that. Then again I wonder if it isn’t God saying, “Remember to control your flesh, LoriAnn!”
You are right though; we are about to hit the season of over indulgence! But it isn’t about the food, it’s about family and friends.
LoriAnn´s last blog ..Food Find! Dove Miniatures Ice Cream
Thanks for stopping by my blog today with the tortilla tip. I will definitely have to try that with my salsa. Sounds yummy.
I can totally relate to your post today. I have been there countless times right down to stopping for fast food after an “eating event”. Ugh, addiction stinks!!
Melanie´s last blog ..GAG challenge
No, Labor Day is not a big food holiday, although we are fast approaching Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I literally was just thinking about this yesterday – wondering how different it was going to be this year since its no longer all about the food. Should be interesting!
Pam´s last blog ..Weigh Day…..
When I was little I used to ALWAYS eat the turkey leg at Christmas and Thanksgiving. Then a couple years ago I started eating healthy and wanting white meat with no skin. Everyone in my extended family was completely SHOCKED. It felt kinda awkward.
Sagan´s last blog ..Poll: Do you read ingredient lists?
This sentence was my light bulb moment: “Instead of celebrating the day, I just wanted to celebrate the food.” That is EXACTLY how I have approached holidays, and it’s so ridiculous! Thank you for writing this.
erin´s last blog ..Friday Five: Gilmore Girls Quotes
There aren’t many goods I associate with Labor Day, actually. We’d typically celebrate it up at our summer house, so the foods I associate with it are much more strongly associated with the general feeling of “summer.” Corn on the cob, grilled meats, good bread, and those summer icey pops.
Hadley´s last blog ..Weigh ins, challenges, and what’s worth reading
Hey, thanks for the nice comment on my blog. We’re having a huge birthday party/labor day party bash for Labor Day. I will be bringing my own food…then if I after I get there and view the lay of the land, and I think I can keep to my calories with the food that’s there…then I will make my choices accordingly. I’ve got exactly nine days to lose five pounds…can’t mess around.
Sunshine Mama´s last blog ..The Dragonfly
Diane, such a good post. Yes, there are “holidays” all year long. I wrote a post a while back on these “holidays”.. they are actual ones, bdays, get togethers with friends, weekends & more. People find a reason anywhere to eat just because they are out or it is someone else’s bday (how many are there in a year!!??) or they are at a gathering. The key is to plan & not every little thing can be a “holiday”.
As for memories, YES! I grew up with food as the main thing in life. It was not just holidays & bdays although those brought out the real guns in terms of food & lots of it. It was just that food was so important in my house growing up & I don’t mean the healthy kind.
Like you, I lived for getting to that food! This is where that mindset has to change in a weight loss program. You have to change your relationship with food & how you feel about it.
I, for one, found that very hard & even now occasionally slip back into that mode BUT as we all know, weight loss & maintenance is a life long battle & we have to work at it all the time. I feel it is like an alcoholic, smoker or drug addict. You may always be a foody so you need to keep that mental game on for life. Now, that does not mean to not enjoy, BUT you have to look at it realistically & understand that you can’t have everything you want all the time.
As for me, not BBQ’s or anything this weekend. Just going to search out air conditioning since we have none & it is hot as the hooties here!
Thx for you always honest comments & true to life experiences.
Hi Diane,
I recall when I first started to lose weight, about five years ago. And it’s one thing to be at home, where you can limit what’s there. And another altogether to be at a party where you don’t have control over the food that’s there. It’s been a journey for me, and today – I’m at a point where I’ll enjoy the parties and the food (hopefully in moderation). And then go on normally after that. It means I’m not quite as lean as I was when I was super strict with myself, but it also means I’m enjoying in moderation…and that’s been good for me.
Lance´s last blog ..Detours on the Path of Life
I remember a time when holidays were all about food, and I gave myself permission to eat anything and everything at every gathering. I don’t even think I really tasted the food. I just came to associate social events with overeating and excusing the overeating. I even told myself it was normal to feel totally stuffed after a party…
Now gatherings are about the people and enjoying a little of the food I really want. I don’t believe anymore that there is an excuse to overeat. The shift in my mindset has really made gatherings enjoyable for me…
Andrea@WellnessNotes´s last blog ..Just Say No
We’ve never been celebrators of minor holidays, we usually just hike or sleep in. But Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving are real tough ones for me. I tend to gorge on the savory foods like ham
and turkey, veggie side dishes, etc etc, more than desserts. I distinctly remember eating plates of food comparable to my older male relatives as a preteen, it wasn’t pretty
I actually started my weightloss journey right before Christmas of this past year and I was so proud of myself for losing weight over the holidays. I just made a concerted effort to eat slowly and enjoy the flavor of my food rather than stuffing it in at rapid pace, and to enjoy the company around me more than the spread on the table, and it worked out fine. I did overeat, but nothing that caused me weight gain or made me descend into a spiral of bad habits.
Taryl´s last blog ..The Fair
Oh Diane, I swear I could have written this post. I’ve had very similar situations happen several times in the past and handled it basically the same way you did. Dieting is so much more complex than following a printed list of rules of what to eat and what not to eat. The lure of food is so strongly linked to our emotions and it’s easy to find ourselves in situations like the one you described.
Logically, maturely, I now celebrate the holiday rather than the food–but I’m also wise enough to know that deep inside the raging, ravenous craziness is still there, just waiting to come roaring back to life. So I’m forever cautious.
–Susan
The Crazy Woman Inside Me´s last blog ..The Mortifying Tale of an Accidental Checkout Hog
Loved this post… just affirms to me that everything in moderation is the way to go! As soon as something is “good or bad”, you’re doomed!
~Carla~´s last blog ..Some random eats..
Labor day will be a bbq with chicken and steak and a coleslaw made with a red wine vinenrgrette (sp). I will have 1 smore at the fire pit- I have 4 a year-memorial day, 4th of july, labor day and halloween. (I use to have them weekly and a lot more than 1)
Christmas and Thanksgiving, we have to go to two houses and a few years ago I started taking large salads, sweet potato “fries” and healthy garlic mashed potatoes with us.
My problem is certain baked goodies. My dear friend makes pistachio bread, that I love and now she will festively (is that a word?),wrap up one slice instead of giving me a loaf Same with bananna bread.
Fortunately I live in a country where Christmas is the only holiday associated with food. My strategy on Christmas and birthdays is to eat what’s there and enjoy it. I don’t turn it into a week of stuffing myself though.
I totally relate to what happened at the picnic and afterward. I’ve made that mistake often and I’ve learned that if I really, really want something, which doesn’t happen often, it’s okay to have the thing I want. If I don’t, I’ll eat badly for days…
Hanlie´s last blog ..It’s a matter of taste
Diane, I was about to write that I didn’t really struggle with holidays, but that is not true. Thanksgiving is the one that always got me. In fact, it got to the point where I didn’t even try to fool myself. I was going to eat, and I knew it.
South Beach Steve´s last blog ..Check out this news!
Wow, that was a great post–a sad memory, but a testament to how far you’ve come in your journey! I think a lot of people can relate, and can know that change is indeed possible.
I have always never been a fan of the holiday season, b/c I’ve always associated it with really bad feelings with food. There is so much food around, and it is so hard to keep any sort of balance of what I eat. I either completely restrict myself and tell myself I am not going to have anything, or go totally overboard and pig out– And then the guilt begins.
I have done that myself too, where I’ve been at a public thing and restricted myself, only to a few hours later when I’m by myself, pig out on something else.
I’m trying to work on balance though, and not associate food with feelings. I do know that when I have the unhealthy foods, I feel very sluggish and tired, and I have associated that. I feel better about myself when I do eat healthy.
Lori´s last blog ..2 mile jog!!!!
I’ve got a plan for Labor Day…I invited my family to my house so I could control all the food options, lol. That’s my evil plan.
I stocked my freezer this summer every time Publix had a sale on seafood, so I’ve got a lot of it. I’m grilling out salmon, scallops, shrimp and veggie kabobs. It’s going to be great family time with food options I can feel good about. 
Tammy´s last blog ..Two Goals Met!!
You really do understand how to manage the food thing Diane, and it shows! When I’m in a situation where I feel a little overwhelmed with the food, I load up on low calorie, high volume stuff like a vegi salad, stc, and it’s amazing how my stomach doesn’t know I skipped the potato salad
I think restricting the amount you eat can be frustrating, but this way, you get enough to eat and it’s not a problem.
Dr. J´s last blog ..The trouble with shopping lists, golf is good for you and taking the harm out of soft drinks
Hi Diane,
Holidays are always harder for me but since I have been dieting for a while now – I cannot eat as much as when I was younger. The tact I generally try to control is not to continue overeating the next few days!
You see I reason that I can only easily eat an extra half-pound of calories so I feel free to have some of whatever looks good. By doing that I don’t have the guilt too bad during the holiday but focus on not continuing it for days afterward. I just realize the days after will be tough and accept the fact that I will be hungrier for a while.
My two favorite holidays are coming up, Oktoberfest and Thanksgiving!
John W. Zimmer´s last blog ..Staying on Course is Tough; Use Real Numbers!
[...] And for a sad yet inspiring post on trying managing holiday temptations, Diane at Fit to the Finish shares some unhappy Labor Day memories. [...]
[...] And for a sad yet inspiring post on trying managing holiday temptations, Diane at Fit to the Finish shares some unhappy Labor Day memories. [...]
[...] And for a sad yet inspiring post on trying managing holiday temptations, Diane at Fit to the Finish shares some unhappy Labor Day memories. [...]
[...] And for a sad yet inspiring post on trying managing holiday temptations, Diane at Fit to the Finish shares some unhappy Labor Day memories. [...]
[...] And for a sad yet inspiring post on trying managing holiday temptations, Diane at Fit to the Finish shares some unhappy Labor Day memories. [...]