The word isolation has a lot of negative associations. The first one that came to my mind was that of isolating the sick from the well. The unhealthy from the healthy.
As my weight ballooned up from 200 to 250 and from 250 to 300 pounds I often found myself living in social isolation. True, I had a loving husband, two small children, and a sprinkling of friends and family, but my social world was shrinking day by day.
In some ways I isolated myself. The bigger I got, the less willing I became to interact with new people. I vividly remember having a near panic attack when John asked me to come to his office for a work celebration. “I can’t,” I cried. “What will people think of me?” And so I didn’t go, but instead stayed home on the appointed day baking batch after batch of chocolate chip cookies. I ate all the cookies but six. When John came home from work he said, “Oh, you made cookies. Where are the rest of them?” I looked at him and said, “I accidentally burned a few batches so this is all that’s left.” He looked at me. He knew the truth. I knew the truth.
I stopped attending social activities at church or school. Instead of going I’d send John with the children, begging off with some lame excuse such as, “I’m just really tired today.” He always encouraged me to go but I dug my heels in and refused. So I’d stand in the doorway of our house waving to them as he backed the van out of the driveway to take the girls on an adventure I should have been participating in. I just couldn’t face the stares and humiliation that I often felt so I stayed home.
Days would go by with the phone standing silent like a sentry in front of a military installment. No one called to chat. I called no one. My world shrank.
And with that shrinking world came an expansion of my food world. Not in quality foods but in the quantity of foods. I shoveled food in without even realizing I was overeating to compensate for loneliness. I gained more weight. I lost self esteem. I got bigger around the middle and my world shrank a little more.
By the time I got pregnant with my third child, I literally had two or three friends. That was it. Sure I knew a lot of people in town, but no one whom I would call if I needed a ride to the airport. (You know – airport friends – those people who would willingly get up at the crack of dawn to give you a ride to the airport across town!) I didn’t have many of those.
When I think of those years of my life I still am sad. Sad for myself, and sad for my family. Because of the choices I made to feed my soul with food rather than relationships I missed out on developing some valuable contacts. My children weren’t able to see me function as a vibrant mom who was always around to volunteer to chaperon trips or teach classes. I isolated all of us.
I take 100% responsibility for my own actions. No one was forcing food down my throat. No one explicitly told me I wasn’t welcome to volunteer for the committee, but I felt those messages in my heart just the same. I wish I could tell you that I worked on overcoming my isolation before I lost my weight but that wouldn’t be truth. No, I stayed isolated from those around me, insulating myself from possible hurt by getting fatter and fatter. It wasn’t until I began to lose the weight that I was able to come to terms with the full implications of my choice to isolate myself. It was a painful day when I realized that I had missed out on things because of my choice. But I did manage to put the pain behind me and move forward. It was a process though.
Where are you today? Have you ever experienced social isolation because of feelings about yourself? How do you handle those feelings? Or are you just a naturally self confident person regardless of the number on the scale? I’d love for you to share.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
Unfortunately I feel like I am experiencing isolation right now. I never felt it about people as I gained weight or kept the extra pounds on, but now that I am losing… I don’t neccessarily think that it is related (people in my life are just busy and I can’t help feeling more and more lonely), but I have to admit that it has made me wonder if there’s even a point to putting all this effort forward when there is no one around to notice. Of course, I know there is – I am just frustrated. – but I can’t help but ponder how great and fullfilling a life can be when there is almost nobody around to share it with.
Sorry my thoughts aren’t more upbeat right now.
266´s last blog ..Fading Afterglow
Diane,
Sure, I’ve felt social isolation. I think part of that is that it takes me a while to warm up and connect with others. And part is also this whole idea of feeling “accepted” for who we are. And what we perceive may not be reality at all. Still, our perception is our reality. Since I’ve lost weight, it’s definitely easier for me to approach a social situation with more ease (not there still aren’t times where I still prefer to “stand in the back”). Hmmm….this has me really thinking today…where I’m really at with all of this…
Lance´s last blog ..Sunday Thought For The Day
I’m in a good space where my weight is concerned but i do remember not wanting to meet up with my friends back in CApe Town whenever I visited as I knew they would all talk about my weight gain behind my back. Each and every on of them had gained weight ( I noticed ) but I was the instructor who taught them classed daily and was not allowed to gain weight.
I always wore clothing that hide my fat body, this type of clothing was so not me, it made me feel like a middle age over weight woman..and i was…
I’m so pleased I no longer am in that space…
But lonliness as you have read on my blog is my best friend living here away from my family.
Marcelle´s last blog ..Boots/weight update
FOR ME WHEN I FEEL LESS THAN MY BEST SELF I 100% isolate!
For me, recently, it hasnt been weight but other things (hello career! & cocktail soirees at the husbands lawfirm) bu.t I think it’s the same in a way.
I dont wanna go then. I skip and stay home to avoid the “what do you do??” question & I feel worse for the isolation.
Miz´s last blog ..To stretch or not to stretch: there is no question (video post).
I am guilty of isolation when I am not feeling so confident about my body and/or my employment status. I know this about myself, I can be stubborn but I’m not exactly sure how to change this character flaw.
Joanna Sutter´s last blog ..I love lucy
REALLY good topic.
I am the opposite. I was emersed in a world of people that were BIG time enablers. They were all about more, More, MORE. And it was the winter that they were being diagnosed with diabetes (one by one) that I saw what was in store for me.
And I did (at that point) try to clean up all our acts and it was rejected. They were of the adjust the meds to compensate for what we eat mode of diabetic – NOT the clean up our lives so that we don’t need as much of the meds variety.
I had to get off their merry go round in order to find my own way.
I did this cold turkey. And then I spent a lot of time in ‘my small world’ feeling lost. I sort of wandered the streets of blogland trying to sort this out in my mind. And I was VERY lonely at that time.
What happened for me – was CHOOSING what to add back into my life piece by piece.
I have a note (to myself) on my side bar that reminds me:
My world is not feeling small to me these days, instead it is more like – What will I let into my inner sanctum?
I tend to stick mostly to my family. And truth be told – I was volunteering for so many things and stretched in so many directions – before – that my family was sort of background noise. I totally took care of them – and spent a lot of time with them – but they were not my priority.
I was NOT my priority.
and now I AM.
My socialization tends to be mostly at the gym or waiting for class to start. And my family.
My socialization BEFORE all revolved around shopping, eating or quilting (and the quilting was all about spending $$$ on quilt stuff – fabric is eye candy – AND eating).
Every once in a while I will run into a former quilter friend at a store and if they REALLY want to know and push me – I will share that for me – moving out of the quilting circles was a very necessary part of losing the fat and keeping the $$$.
It was like walking away from drinking buddies.
vickie´s last blog ..Two thoughts over the weekend
I do this to myself too. I get bigger and then I don’t feel worthy of having friends. I love some and reach out. For me it’s all tied to how I feel about myself, which I know isn’t the ideal.
I love this topic and would like to know some more about you handled social things when you were obese. What did you feel/do/think when you had to get out there and be part of things. Because you had kids so you didn’t stay home all the time.
Isolation is something I think about all the time. I feel very lonely even though I DO have friends and family around me all the time. Do you have some ideas on how to feel more there even when I feel lonely around other people? I’ve lost some weight but do have a long way to go.
I appreciate your blog and the time you take to write these kinds of post that make me think.
Sure, I’ve felt isolated, but more-so due to race in particular social situations. Not that the dominant race in the room had done something to me – because they hadn’t. It had everything to do with my own insecurities of being that “only one” in the room. But that was years ago, and I’ve dealt with that. Ahhh, all better now.
I can definitely relate to this. One small instance; I used to work in a bookstore in a mall and I never go there unless I absolutely have to because I’m afraid I will run into someone who won’t even recognize me because of my weight gain. I also had to give up leading a class, for other reasons, but also was extremely relieved I wouldn’t be up in front of everyone even larger than the last time they saw me. I really have to fight the feeling to want to isolate – which just leads to further destructive behavior.
It’s so curious to me, all of this. In other areas of my life I am a functioning and productive woman, full of compassion and love. But this area of my life? What a mess! Not forever I hope…
Laura´s last blog ..Our Own Little Miracle
I think we isolate ourselves from others for many different reasons. One key element seems always to be that we don’t want others to see (or even confront us) in our current state (whatever that may be) as we then would have to face the issue ourselves and possibly change.
I have been avoiding some friends lately because I think I have some issues I rather don’t deal with. I think it’s time to face them! Thanks for the reminder!
I isolate, but I’m a loner. I have one good friend and lots of acquaintances. I think this is mainly due to my mental state. I do feel less than adequate around women that are smaller than me, which is most women, as I’m 5′10″ and just big even at my ideal weight.
Amy H.´s last blog ..Melon Brains
Here there is social isolation, but due to Autism and not weight. There are many times when the prospect of dealing with well meaning ( but ignorant) friends and family is just too much. Weight has never been an issue with isolation , as I simply do not care about the opinions others have about me .With an autistic child, EVERY interaction with another human being is a potential for a verbal attack that cuts deeper than ANY weight comment ever could( “Why don’t you just make the kid behave”. “What that kid needs is a good spanking” “in my day we knew how to parent” “I don’t think this is working out, so would you please not bring your son anymore”) . All the better when it comes from a family member. The trick for me is to deal with autism AND obesity. One of my son’s stims ( a neurological comforting device) has been oral textures, and that got him to to grand weight of 420 pounds by age 15. When you start dealing with both of these issues, it seems to be a whole new ballgame.
Diane´s last blog ..Sunday was a "stimmy" day
My story was a little reversed from yours. Since we live about 1 1/2 hours away from family and close friends, I tried so many ways to reach out to people in this area but found that it wasn’t reciprocated. I volunteered at school and church, invited people out for coffee and even attended functions that held no appeal to me other than the possibility of meeting people – without success. The isolation felt forced upon me and I hid out and gained weight as a result. People are still a little unfriendly so I’ve stopped trying so hard with them. I also do things that I’m really interested in instead of going with the crowd. It’s still lonelier than I wished it was but at least I’m pleasing myself instead of others.
Gigi´s last blog .."I’ll Start Again On Monday"
Diane, I wish I could say that I was confident no matter what but I am the exact opposite. Like you, I isolated myself big time when I was heavier & even as the weight came off when I still saw that fat person. I still do it when I just am not at my best or my hormone ravaged face keeps from wanting to step out the door. It is amazing what we can do to ourselves. I also am not a “small talk” person so I sometimes avoid those parties where I don’t know people & that small talk is part of the whole game.
You are right, we miss out on so much & people we could meet & learn from….. makes one think!
Great post!
PS: Diane, forgot to ask how the kids are doing? Hope the house is surviving!
Jody – Fit at 51´s last blog ..Low Carbs, Low Fat, High & Low. What is a Person to Do?
Hi Diane. Yes my confidence is definitely inversely correlated with my weight. Weight gain increases my agoraphobia. When anybody looks in my direction when I’m out I automatically think they are thinking negative things about me or laughing at me. Obviously this makes it very stressful being out.
I have zero social life at the moment. And a lot of this is due to my eating problems. My biggest motivation when I lose weight is to be able to have a social life again.
Best wishes,
Bearfriend xx
Bearfriend´s last blog ..Responses
It’s definitely our sense of shame that isolates us… I’m naturally introverted, so I enjoy lots of alone time, but there have been periods in my life where I hated leaving the house because of the way I looked.
Hanlie´s last blog ..Breaking free
That’s how I feel now, however I know it could get worse, I suppose it could always get worse. I’ve pushed away a lot of friends and even the ones I still have are rather sick of me. I wouldn’t want to hang around me, I don’t blame anyone. I miss how fun I used to be, only a year or 2 ago.
You just wrote MY story — save for the fact that I have only one child.
I SAW my life and world shrinking as my weight grew ever higher. I wouldn’t take pictures with my daughter… or husband… or anyone. I hated to go anywhere (except out to eat.) I just pretended that I wasn’t morbidly obese — of course, I WAS… denial is a comforting thing.
Now, oh, so many things have changed for me. Thank G-d for all of His many Blessings.
GeorgiaMist´s last blog ..More Non-Scale Victories!
I deal with isolation, but due more to being a SAHM with no car. I feel somewhat isolated in my weight loss efforts, because I don’t have a lot of friends, so no one that sees me on any regular basis is close enough to really notice or comment on the loss. I know I am not doing this to get reactions out of people, though.
I never really felt isolated being heavier, I guess I just shut things out of that life that would have resulted in those feelings. Self preservation can sneak up on you sometimes.
Pam´s last blog ..Weekend Lessons Learned, Lessons Taught
Wow, Diane, this post has a lot of meaning for me. How interesting that you kept eating as if you were seeking out that isolation. I do feel somewhat isolated– my phone is quieter than I’d like. It’s not because of my weight, but the net result is the same. I moved to a new town (11 years ago!) leaving a vibrant, phone-constantly-ringing life behind. In my new, more suburban town, it’s been hard to find “my kind.” But I think a lot of it has been this unfortunate feedback loop where I fear I won’t be liked much, so I don’t put out the effort. Also, to be fair, I have a rich and satisfying home life. It takes a crowbar to pry me out the door. My best friend keeps reminding me that I need to put the time in to find the friends, and I know she’s right.
Larkspur´s last blog ..What to Eat: Part 1, Snacks
I did feel isolated when I was heavy. Not as much as you did, but I was heavy a majority of high school. I was almost paranoid, because most of the time, I felt like people were just mocking me and making fun of me behind my back. And sure, some of them probably were, but I was so paranoid that I was rude to some of the people I thought were making fun of me, I didn’t even give them a chance to get to know me/be my friend.
I still regret acting that way to this day, but I can’t take it back. I hope people see me as more than the person I was in high school.
Wow Diane, this topic certainly speaks to me. I am 8 1/2 months and 80 lbs. into my journey to a fit and healthy me! I am 39 years old. These past 8 months have been a roller coaster of emotions in dealing with my deep issues instead of filling the voids with food. One of the major realizations I have come to is how much I isolated myself for all of these years. It is really tough to swallow knowing how much I have missed out on, but I am trying to focus on moving forward and making up for some of the lost time. It is definitely the toughest part of this journey for me. Thanks for your words and thoughts every day. They are inspiring! Many blessings!
Stories like these should be required in medical school.
You really bring home the point that obesity is so much more than calories in vs calories out.
It is a complex issue going beyond the purely physical into the emotional/psychological & spiritual aspects of our lives.
Much respect for having the bravery to expose yourself like this
Doug´s last blog ..This is what happens when Health Habits doesn’t eat healthy
I would not say that I isolated myself as much as I completely covered myself up! I would go somewhere and try to hide as many body parts as I could. I wear things that are way too big for me, because then I felt like I was hiding being bigger. However, I know that just makes me look even bigger, so I am learning to get past that slowly
Staci´s last blog ..Good- bye 150’s… Hello 140’s
Like Hanlie, I’m a natural introvert. And this tendency turned to something less-than-healthy when I became obese. For the last four or five years I have isolated myself quite a bit, aside from my live-in boyfriend. I just feel bad about how I look and don’t want to be seen by the people I care about most. I feel like this heavy me isn’t the “real” me and I don’t want to be seen looking like this. I know it’s warped but the I have let my extra weight take a naturally semi-reclusive person and turned her into something of a hermit, aside from going to work.
Hilary´s last blog ..Down More Than 10 Lbs
It’s definitely a viscous cycle. Weight keeps you from wanting to go out, so you stop being asked, which leads to feeling isolated. Some of the hardest things to do are to take those steps to get out there.
I’m actually quite shy, and add to that being overweight and it was almost paralyzing to get out and meet people or do things. It’s still hard for me, but at least now it’s not weight that holds me back.
Lori (Finding Radiance)´s last blog ..Duathlon Recap!
I think obesity can contribute to social isolation, but I don’t think it is the cause. I think that social isolation happens to people in all body shapes. It’s less about size and more about how you feel about yourself. I’m very confident in my body and who I am as a person, but I have and sometimes still feel social isolation as you call it. For most people it is more of an issue of being shy or having anxiety than anything.
Mary :: A Merry Life´s last blog ..Pumpkin Carving, Memory Lane and Candy
I can honestly say that while I’ve always hated being the chubby girl and then fat adult I have not isolated myself to the extent you did, Diane. Even though I’ve always been bigger than my friends I always had them. No, I may not have been actively involved in things, but it never stopped me from cheering others on from the sidelines.
I’m sad for you to have lived years like that, and now I’m glad you lost your weight and came out of the isolated life you lived. You are so cheerful to talk to that I’m sad you locked yourself away from others just because of your size.
Some say I’m confident no matter what size and I think I got that from my mom. She’s pretty much always been heavy, but we’re both very social creatures and haven’t let our weight stop us from making friends.
For those who struggle with how fat they are/feel and isolating themselves away from others because of their weight I encourage you to step out there. Don’t lock yourself away because you hate how you look or feel. To bring balance, if it’s situations where you’re treated badly, then of course stay away. However, I bet a lot of the time you are isolating yourself because of what you think about yourself, not because others don’t want to be around you.
Life is too short to stop living just because of number on a scale or a large size of clothing.
Leah´s last blog ..Staying Focused
I have lost just about all the weight, but the isolation remains. I don’t want to make the effort, I feel vulnerable trying to be friendly, or making small talk. I’m so used to being invisible that I just am accustomed to not making eye contact or even smiling at people. This may be harder for me to change than my weight, and I’m not enjoying it.
julie´s last blog ..My body screams for…kickboxing?
I have felt this way for a long time. It IS sad regarding what we miss out on by staying isolated. I’m glad you have been able to put it behind you.
LAF´s last blog ..Beggar’s Banquet, Hot 100 Update
Diane, I’m sorry about your past pain and isolation, and thank you for sharing your story. As other people have mentioned here, feelings of isolation are not unusual, whether for weight or other reasons. Perhaps it’s just a natural part of the human condition. I isolated myself for years, too, though not because of weight. Isolation for me was simply, in a word, safer. I’m much more open to people now, and happier. Am I safer? No, of course not. To be open to others is to be vulnerable. But without risk, there can be no reward.
Kathy´s last blog ..A word of caution about exercise
WOW! I never thought of it all like that. I do it especially when I lost weight and gained it back. It is so weird how we beat ourselves up so bad that we wont even allow others to help us. In reality that is what we are doing when we isolate ourselves.
Great post!
From the moment I saw the post title, I knew my answer was “YES.” As I’ve gotten bigger, I’ve wanted to see others less and hide myself more. As scary as it is to say out loud, it’s because I’m ashamed of what I’ve become. That’s okay, though, because I’m changing.
Very thoughtful post, Diane. I’m so glad you wrote about this.
Hadley´s last blog ..Scariness Ahead
You really captured it here, Diane. And interestingly, I could isolate myself even when I was with people, because in my mind I had a running commentary on how they thought I was fat, how I thought I was fat – the fattest one in the room…etc. I did less with people, reached out less, and felt apart-from rather than apart-of. Very painful. I still have 30 pounds, at least, to lose, but I’m much more outgoing and have many people in my life today. When you remarked about “filling your soul with food instead of relationships”, I teared up. So true.
I became very isolated when I was obese. And especially from the hubby’s work parties, with the fear of ‘what will they think of me?”
The saddest part of my ‘isolation’ is that I hated my picture being taken and always deleted them from the camera because I hated what I had let myself become. I’m a huge scrapbooker and in most of my family scrapbooks, I’m not there in them for future generations to see.
This post is a HUGE inspration for me to keep losing the weight and maintain it off for good
brenda´s last blog ..On your mark-get set-go
I isolated myself too. It is still something that I work on. I reached my goal weight in May and I’m finding that it’s taking me some time to adjust. In my head I’m still very insecure around others, worrying about what they think of me. I’m sure it is more than the weight, but it played a huge part in my lack of confidence. I was obese for over twenty years and I think the longer one deals with a problem like that, the longer it will take to adjust. I keep reminding myself that I look normal.
Boy can I relate to this.
I’m short on time, but wanted to let you know I read it and how it spoke to me. It’s so sad what we put ourselves through.
Josie´s last blog ..An update and a rant…
I DEFINITELY isolated myself when I gained weight. I never for a second thought it was on the part of others.
During my heaviest period we moved to a new state away from friends and family. I felt too bad about myself to even THINK about trying to make new friends. It wasn’t until we had lived there for a year and a half and I started working out that I made my first friend.
Now, I have lost 104 pounds (and counting) and I am back to my social self. I actually look forward to attending my husbands work functions and to making new friends.
Its amazing how much your life changes once you start loving yourself.
Oh yes, I definitely kept myself isolated when I was really heavy. By nature I’m an extrovert, so forcing isolation on myself made me sad and frustrated. I used every excuse I could dream up not to have to attend functions or meet with people because I was so ashamed and embarrassed about my weight. I couldn’t bear for people to see that I was so much heavier than the last time they saw me. What an awful way to live–missing out on so much of life. I will never go back to living what way ever again.
The Crazy Woman Inside Me´s last blog ..There’s Danger Ahead
Illness update when you have a minute please – I have been wondering about you (all) the whole day.
vickie´s last blog ..Two (Goal) thoughts over the weekend
Vickie – Thanks so much for asking. The first 3 who got the flu are better now and are well enough to be arguing with each other on who should get more of the playdoh tools, etc. So that’s a good sign. My older two still were running low grade fevers this morning, but have really rebounded this afternoon and seem to be much better.
John, my oldest, my youngest, and myself have not gotten it. We are hoping that we are in the clear now, but every time one of us coughs we all look at that “cougher” and say, “Do you have the flu?!”
Are your kids well now?
1 of us is still sick (as of 10:30pm Monday night) – the other three are still fine.
I thought she was on the mend – but severe sore throat and headache and general aches came back last night (she Isn’t UP yet for me to know how she is today).
When I went to pick up her homework (Monday afternoon) – they had all kinds of extra tables set up by the office with PILES of go homework waiting to be picked up by parents.
All the kids have the same symptoms (temp, sore throat, headache – but VERY little – to NO – cough.)
we (supposedly) had one case confirmed. But they gave us NO details so I am not sure if that was a mom that had a positive flu test – or had a positive h1n1 test. And I don’t know what that kids symptoms were. So left sitting here wondering – do all the kids have it – and just have very mild cases – or do all the kids NOT have it. And does the positive kid actually have it or just have what everyone else has – ? No way to know.
I was planning to send her back to school – but now am NOT because if she doesn’t have it and it IS at school now – she WILL get it as she is just coming out of this other illness (and then she might get it HARD).
vickie´s last blog ..Fat Body Watching
I’ve found myself becoming more and more alone the bigger I get. I know it’s not cool for a guy to say that, but that’s how it is.
I really got a lot out of this post. Thanks Diane.
i never really thought about it before.. but your post felt really familiar… and the more i think of it.. yah.. i was on the isolation/food cycle. Great post, Diane!
Amos the Lion heart´s last blog ..time to get my game on …again
This is something I’ve been thinking about for awhile. Am I a homebody? Or am I isolating myself? Is it because of my weight or social anxiety? Or is it just a holdover from when I didn’t have many friends? I have no idea. I do know that when I’m surrounded by good friends I am good. Just not in big groups. I wonder if it’ll change when I lose weight…
MackAttack´s last blog ..fall food
Great post! I feel like whenever I feel down on myself (weight/looks/just a crap bad attitude) I tend to isolate almost immediately. I can be quite the homebody, especially when I feel stretched too thin, overwhelmed and just kind of grrr. I retreat! I don’t think it’s good but I definitely do it. So while I can’t relate on the obesity side, I can relate to isolating myself at times.
fittingbackin´s last blog ..Auburn Weekend in Photos, Surprise Suite, New Recipe and 4 Miles
I struggle with isolation from time to time. Not because of weight, but due to having a chronic illness that can be isolating, and having recently moved to a new city and state. I dont think I have figured out completely how to get out of the “funk” I can put myself in, but it helps me if I start with baby steps: such as calling someone on the phone or just sending someone a long, heartfelt email.
carla´s last blog ..The Two Dollar Bill
Airport friends–yes! I know those
I definitely see a cycle with my (old) self with isolation and food. I am not sure which one beget the other, but both were toxic when I was really struggling.
Diane, you have a way of putting emotions and feelings I had when I was overweight into words that I can’t desrcibe myself!
Do you think you could do a post about *maintaining* your weight loss? I really think that is the hardest part. I would love to get your perspective on it.
Lara (Thinspired)´s last blog ..Pretty Sunday, Steamy Monday
I have been fortunate in this respect, I have never experienced the isolation as you describe it; however, my weight did prevent me from doing many things. It is amazing how we let it control us. Of course, there is some truth to the limitations that happen when we gain weight, but much of it is self-inflicted, and it tends to produce a cycle that is hard to break.
South Beach Steve´s last blog ..It’s Back!
I felt such shame about myself, such certainty that everyone else must despise me as much as I despised myself that I definitely isolated myself and I still do. My new found self-confidence grows on a daily basis, but the pattern of shying away from social situations and not making the effort to make friends has become pretty deeply ingrained. I hope I can figure out how to get myself out of it…and it doesn’t help that I’m a terrible introvert.
Sarah´s last blog ..Meals o’ the Week, Now With More Laziness!