Three hundred pounds is a lot of weight to carry around. I was tired, exhausted, and often felt disgusted with myself. When I finally started losing weight, one of the things I longed to see was the number “1″ in front of my weight. The last time I had seen 199 was at the beginning of 1990 when I got pregnant with my first daughter. I started that pregnancy at 196, so within a month, had gone over the 200 mark. I still remember standing on the scale in my doctor’s office watching helplessly as the nurse clunked the metal weight over from 150 to 200. I was so upset. A few minutes later, as I was waiting for my doctor to come into the exam room, I thought about my weight, and how I would definitely get on track after the baby was born. But that didn’t happen. Instead my weight went up and up and up. I started pregnancy number two at about 255 pounds, and pregnancy number three at 279 pounds.
By 1995, my weight commonly fluctuated between 275 and 305 pounds. Our bathroom scale didn’t go past 300 pounds, so one time when I was in the grocery store late at night I stood on the big scale they had in the lobby. I jumped on, saw 305, and jumped off, praying to God that no one saw me. I laugh now because even if anyone had seen me they wouldn’t have been surprised to see the big dial on the scale swing around to 305. I was gigantic.
Sadly, weighing over 200 pounds had become part of my soul, my being, and I hated it. Yet in many ways I felt powerless to stop eating. Fortunately, in 1997, something in my head clicked. After leaving my doctor’s office I cried, prayed, and knew I had to change. That’s when my journey began.
Every pound lost was a victory. Seeing 250 on the scale made me so happy that I could have eaten an entire cheesecake (but I didn’t.) As the number inched down, I began to get more and more excited to reach 199. It seemed to take forever. Finally I was in the plain old 200′s. 209, 208, 207. . . . I almost couldn’t stand myself. My clothes were hanging on me. My self esteem was improving. I was feeling in control. But I still weighed over 200 pounds.
Finally, about ten months after I started changing my life, it happened.
199
I rushed into the bedroom and woke up John. (Did I mention it was 6:00 a.m.?) I whispered excitedly, “I weigh 199. Isn’t that great? I weigh 199. HEY, are you awake?!” He was awake and he was so happy for me. It’s truly a day I will never forget. It’s one of those scale milestones that was important to me.
Some people say, “Don’t worry about the weight.” But for me, I knew that I shouldn’t be weighing over 200 pounds. I wasn’t a linebacker or a man. I was a woman and not 6’5″ tall. I should weigh under 200 pounds. And I finally did.
From that point on there was no stopping me. I kept on exercising, kept eating good food, and kept losing weight. Best of all my self esteem improved, I felt stronger, and others around me were positively influenced by my enthusiasm. I know this is a Scale Victory. But it wasn’t my only victory along the way. There were many victories, both of the scale variety and of the non-scale variety. And they were all sweet.
Have you had a victory during your journey that made you want to jump up and down? Is there a goal in your mind that will cause you to wake up your spouse or best friend to tell them about what you have accomplished? I would love for you to share. Diane
I’m 3 pounds away from my weight beginning with a 1. For the first time since 2003. Needless to say, I’m pretty geeked.
And I promise not to celebrate that milestone with a gigantic banana split.
.-= Sue´s last blog ..thanks. I think. =-.
@Sue – Congratulations on being so close. I know how excited you are, and you are smart not to celebrate with food!
Diane, you totally made me cry with this post! When you wrote about you waking your husband the tears sprang right up into my eyes because I could picture myself doing exactly that with my own hubby. They’re still running down my cheeks, just thinking about it! Okay… deep breath… lol! As I approach that particular number I think it will be a huge milestone and, for me, I have 190 and 180 as two other massive ones for different reasons. I am so excited to finally have them slowly coming into focus, somewhere out there still on the horizon, but ever closer, ever more nearly within reach.
.-= 266´s last blog ..Happy Turkey Day! =-.
266 – I can’t wait until you hit 199!! I bet if I lived near you I’d hear you yelling with excitement. Those milestone numbers were so important to me as well. Keep up the great work.
my weightloss efforts were sparked by not fitting into ANY of my interview suits.
when I could get in (but not zip. whatevs
) the red one I loved I JUMPED ALL AROUND.
I was single then so I didnt tell a soul (Id been pretending they fit all along to my friends
) but I shook the floor in my one room efficiency with joy.
.-= MizFit´s last blog ..Tmobile is a raging… =-.
The scale is my enemy. It was stuck at 150 pounds for months, BUT, I started to see my body morph and change it’s composition anyway. I’d buy new clothes and they would be too big within a few weeks…
…and the scale STILL said 150. (what!?) So for me, my victory was freeing myself from the scale because he’s a jerk that doesn’t tell whole story.
.-= Yum Yucky´s last blog ..Taste Test: Hot Pockets Stuffed Crust Pizza =-.
@MizFit – Great story – I wish you had a picture of jumping for joy!
@Yum Yucky – You are not alone in your feelings about the scale. And your experience just shows that there are lots of ways to measure health – not just by the number on a scale.
I was so excited the day I finally weighed less than my husband! I remember writing a post about it, too; I wanted the world to know! My husband and I are about the same height and I always felt like a giant blob standing next to him. When we would take pictures, I would try to position myself so that half my body would be behind him. It was an awful feeling to look at pictures and see my big body dwarfing his. Now, I tease him that he needs to treat me like a petite and fragile little lady – he still rolls on the floor laughing at that one! He’s not buying the “fragile” part
Ditto on weighing less than my husband and then eventually weighing less than my 19 year old son! Now I am down in the same category as my 15 year old daughter. When they were littler and I was fatter – I weighed the same as the son and the daughter together. . .
.-= vickie´s last blog ..Momentum =-.
@Marisa – Congratulations on that accomplishment. I hated getting pictures taken with John because I felt like a gigantic pumpkin next to him. I’m not buying the “fragile” part either – you are strong!
@vickie – Wow! I’m in the same category as my daughters as well. It’s amazing to me how much you have accomplished.
Victory for me was the day I fit into a brand new pair of size 14 jeans that had been hanging in my closet for over five years – I bought them on sale, the last time I was on a diet – but never got down that far before I gave up and started gaining again.
The jeans are now way too big and are in my Goodwill bag, btw!
.-= Shelley B´s last blog ..Plan B =-.
@Shelley – Now you can bless someone else with those size 14 jeans. Great job!
Even though I’m not at my goal (or close) the thought of seeing my weight at 1?? is absolutely amazing. Amazing. I will jump up and down. And you know what? I’ll be able to.
Diane, like 266 said, this post brought me to tears. I want to succeed.
I want to be able to fit into a business suit that I bought years ago but never wore. I may not love it a lot anymore but I want to slip on the skirt and have it fit. I can’t wait!!
Your post makes me smile. When I did my first weight loss journey to improve my fertility, I began at 310 pounds. I lost and at 230 I conceived my first baby, who was a stillborn. I got back on the horse and got down to 201, and it was literally that day I conceived my son. I have not gotten back to that place yet, but it seems funny that I will cross that threshold at a time in life where hopefully fertility is no longer an issue. Incidentally, I was 200 lbs on my first day of school, so anything in the 100′s to me is sort of a nostalgic, fairyland sort of quality.It represents my real childhood !
.-= Diane´s last blog ..A lightbulb moment =-.
@Monica – I’m so glad that you are committed to your own success. You can do it and then jump up and down in excitement!
@Sara N – I like the idea of having an article of clothing that is special to you.
@Diane – It really does represent your childhood doesn’t it? I am enjoying reading your blog and seeing your progress. You’ve lost weight before – you can do it again.
I cried when I got on the scale and it said 198. My trainer cried, too.
One of the greatest indignities for me in weighing so much was knowing that I weighed more than this male friend or that male co-worker. I knew ‘petite’ wasn’t in my future. I just didn’t want to be “one of the guys” with respect to the scale.
.-= Cammy@TippyToeDiet´s last blog ..Makeover Monday Redux: Heads, We Win! =-.
I was so excited about 2 things both I called people right away. 1st is when I lost 10% of my body weight. The second is very recent I ran, I actually ran as much as I walked for the first time, It was a moment I felt like I was reaching a new level of fitness.
I know I always tell you this but I love reading your blog it always keeps me on track.
.-= Katie´s last blog ..Sick girls=( =-.
@Cammy – Oh – how wonderful that you both got emotional. I love hearing stories of supportive friends and trainers. I can relate to not wanting to be one of the guys too.
@Katie – You are so kind. Those two things are so great, because they really represent a great improvement in two areas – health and fitness. Awesome job!
Diane, that goal is 188 for me. I was extremely excited when I went under 200 pounds. I was also extremely excited this past Sunday when I weighed in at 190, but 188 is my all-time adult low. When I cross that number, I will be some kind of excited!
.-= South Beach Steve´s last blog ..Bouncing Back Into the Wagon! =-.
You paint a great picture. I can completely imagine the night you broke into the 100′s! Victory is so sweet! You tasted it and wanted more. I love it!
I am not a fan of the scale either because of the mind games it plays so I try to think of it as one of many tools to gauge progress.
I remember dropping 10-15 lbs (which I must have been carrying around in my shoulders!) and trying on my favorite pink wool blazer to wear to a business meeting and crying because it was too big. Happy tears, if I recall.
.-= Joanna Sutter´s last blog ..Heroes behind bars =-.
@Steve – You are right there knocking on the door. How exciting for you.
@Joanna – Carrying around weight in your shoulders. That’s a great visual. The scale is one tool – but definitely not the defining one.
Wow, great stuff! Way back when, just getting into a size 4-6 was amazing for me after being heavy so long. AND, as an adult when I really figured this whole weight loss, build muscle & do it right with food too, well, I was jazzed when I still could get into size 4′s in some styles of clothes..
BUT the big one for me was actually getting past my fear & doing the bodybuilding contests & actually winning! I was scared “you know what” but I did it & won. For me, that was amazing at 37 & 38 years old!
Diane, I got to say that looking at the people on Biggest Loser & when they hit that marl of under 300 or 200, I see the joy all over their face & I can only imagine yours! You probably wanted to wake up the world!
.-= Jody – Fit at 51´s last blog ..Ab Work, 1440, PB Cookie Dough & More!!!! =-.
Weighing less than my husband will be a huge victory for me too, since I never have. I did call him at work and scream when I got under 300 for the first time in years, so I can only imagine how I am going to react when I get under 200!
Thank you for sharing such a sweet victory story, it really made me smile this morning!
(And thank you too for your amazingly kind comment about my progress pictures – it means more to me than you will ever know. I feel so blessed to have you as an online friend!)
.-= Pam´s last blog ..Awards and Rewards =-.
@Jody – That is amazing at any age, but for you to win at 37 and 38 is an extra bonus. And you are right – I did want to wake up the world!
@Pam – That will be so great when you weigh less than Randall. I wonder how he will feel? Your progress pictures are amazing and I feel blessed to be included in your journey.
Wonderful post, Diane!! I can’t say enough how I wish others would be able to do what you have done. It’s not like you don’t tell them how. Keep it up!
Thanks Dr. J – I really do wish that everyone can have the success they so desire. It makes such a difference in every area.
It was amazing to see you losing all your weight. I remember being in awe of your determination and resolve. You were the “incredible shrinking woman!” I love you and am very proud of you.
You are so sweet – you never made me feel fat or ugly. I appreciate that.
The day I hit 199 pounds was also extremely exciting for me, so I definitely relate to this.
.-= erin´s last blog ..It’s Fun to Run at the YMCA =-.
Awww what a sweet msg from your husband Diane.
I cried when I reached 199 just a few weeks ago too. Since I’ve never been in the 100′s in my adult life (not since about 1977) it was pretty surreal.
.-= Dawn´s last blog ..Feeling sunny even though it’s cloudy =-.
@erin – You look great now!
@Dawn – I imagine it must have been surreal. Especially since it had been so long. Congratulations.
It really wasn’t one moment, per se, but I just started noticing that people actually looked at me. Not past me, but at me. People look at you so differently. I try to make a concious effort not to do the same thing to others now.
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..Award, Milestones, Pictures, Vita Sale =-.
This current weight loss was started at 199, I’ve been as high as 213. At that weight, my knees hurt, it’s hard to ride my bicycle, bras don’t fit or work well, clothes are hard to find. I’ll be excited to see 150 (lowest adult weight, about 6 pounds down), though 148 is where BMI says I’m normal weight. My weight isn’t changing very quickly right now, but my body still is, so I’m not stressed, though still pointed in that direction. I hope to get and stay below 150 in the long run.
.-= julie´s last blog ..My body screams for…kickboxing? =-.
@Melissa – Oh, I can defintely relate to this comment. In fact I’m going to do a post (per Tammy’s request) about some situations that happened to me. I love that you now are conscious about how you look at other people. I am too.
@julie – I hope you meet all your goals – both on the scale and not. Carrying around extra weight isn’t easy – in fact, that’s what my tomorrow post is about.
This post really spoke to me today because I JUST hit this goal myself! Like you said it was a big thing… in my mind anyway! In fact, I just so recently hit it that I will now be excited if I see 199 on the scale with clothes on!
Another milestone for me was weighing less than my husband (who is about 6 inches taller than me).
Although I’ve never commented before I have been enjoying reading your blog for awhile now! Thanks!
Congratulations on meeting this goal. That is so great. I’m proud of you and I don’t even know you! But I know exactly how getting under 200 pounds feels. Thank you so much for commenting.
i still wake up the boyfriend every Monday when I lose weight… can’t help it!?
I’m so excited I need to share with with someone!!
.-= Rebecca @ Durch Dick und Duenn´s last blog ..Weigh-In # 14 =-.
I love the way your posts make me sit back and really think! (it has taken me a day to post about my inspiration picture lol). I don’t know if I really have a ‘wake up and shout’ goal (and I never admitted to anyone what my heaviest weight was other than my sister and doctor), but getting that darn 2 off the scale was SWEET! Right now I’m doing this for the longtime goal of being around for a long time for my kids. My parents died when I was in my early 30′s and I don’t want to do that to my kids.
Once again…LOVE YOUR POST!
.-= brenda´s last blog ..Inspiration =-.
@Rebecca – Every week is perfect! I bet he is excited every time you tell him the good news!
@brenda – I loved your inspiration post. Wonderful stuff. Having a long term goal of getting to a healthy weight and staying there is just what I like to hear. Congratulations on all you have accomplished.
Quite agree, reaching the one hundred and something mark was a great moment. Other ‘yay’ moments have come with fitting comfortably into the next size down and other notable scale targets. Lovely hubby has been there for them all.
But I reckon the best ‘victory’ of all was one day realising that the blasted inhaler which I’ve carried with me everywhere I’ve ever been in decades hasn’t emerged from the depths of my handbag in a long, long time. I don’t know if it still works, and don’t really care. Honestly, I don’t feel like I’m asthmatic anymore – and that is a GREAT feeling!
Thanks Diane. I’ve been stuck in a rut for a little while recently, but I think I’ll just keep reminding myself that it’s a victorious rut and stop fretting.
.-= Deniz´s last blog ..Stuck in the doldrums =-.
Diane, how odd you bring this up today!!! Since yesterday (when I hit the 54 lbs. lost mark), I’ve been thinking about 60 lbs. lost. When I started this journey, I promised myself a gift for each 20 lbs. lost. I got a lovely bracelet at 20 lbs lost, and a lovely ring at 40 lb. lost, and I splurged and got another ring for 50 lb. lost recently, because although it wasn’t another 20, come on: 50 lbs. lost is a MILESTONE. So I’m approaching the 60 lb. marker, and I decided this morning (see how odd?) that I would NOT buy myself a present for 60 lb. You know why? This has become my LIFE style. It’s no longer a temporary weight-loss or temporary foray into exercise or eating healthy. My life has changed PERMANENTLY. I don’t need another piece of jewelry, or its expense, to hallmark losing 60 lbs. The greatest gift I could give myself is the inner satisfaction from knowing that not only have I lost that much, but that it will stay off because I’m an entirely new person now. I will NEVER go back to where I was, no matter how stressful life gets. I will never give up what I’ve accomplished! (now, you won’t have to read my 60 lbs. lost post in a couple of weeks. LOL!)
.-= Sunny´s last blog ..The Day After =-.
@Deniz – All those milestones you listed are so motivating to read, and I’m sure that anyone who reads your comment would agree. Excellent job. And not having to use the inhaler any longer is a huge victory! Congratulations!
@Sunny – 54 pounds is amazing. Congratulations. I like your thought process about the rewards. I’m glad though that you have some permanent rewards to celebrate those first losses though. And your comment about this being a new lifestyle is actually the most important change we can make in this journey. That’s the kind of change that sticks!
There were so many during my weightloss. Getting below 200 lbs after being 200+ since my early teens was something that blew me away completely. But hitting 170 lbs, which marked a 100 lb loss made me weep with joy. I told everyone I knew. I’ve never been more proud of myself.
My favorite non-number milestone was the first time I got on a bicycle after losing about 80 lbs and being able to ride it without feeling like I was going to die. It was liberating, and now I ride just about everywhere.
.-= Jenelle´s last blog ..Here and There =-.
I know the excitement you had when you woke your hubby…I smsed my mom back in Cape Town..my hubby didnt show much interest in me losing weight…he said he thought it was a phase and that I would do what I had done so many times before…lose 3 – pick up 5…
For me personally getting to 68kgs made me jump for joy, that was my goal weight when I was 82kgs – but of course once I got to 68 I wanted to lose more…
.-= Marcelle´s last blog ..Last Few Days Of Holiday =-.
@Jenelle – Congratulations on your amazing weight loss. I know exactly how you feel about those milestone, both on the scale and off!
@Marcelle – Your hubby thought it was a phase? I bet he likes this phase now that you look so amazing!!
Oh, yes! Many small victories! Some were scale victories… hitting 275… then 250… losing 10, 20, now 61 pounds.
But most of the vistories have been non-scale victories: wearing my wedding band again, leaving the X-Sizes behind, putting my rings in my jewelry box because they’re falling off of my fingers, having my friends ask me “HOW DID YOU DO IT?”, walking for miles without stopping to rest or losing my breath… all of these victories… and I’m not done yet!
.-= GeorgiaMist´s last blog ..Giveaway at PRIOR FAT GIRL! =-.
That’s fabulous!! I can imagine how excited you must have been!! You are SO inspiring!!! I almost fell over when I hit my goal weight, even though I knew it was coming, it’s still something to see it “up close & personal”! lol!
=-.
.-= ~Carla~´s last blog ..Thanksgiving & my first green, er, uh, purple monster!
@Georgia – 61 pounds is an amazing accomplishment, as is all those non-scale victories you listed. I love them all! And the fact that you aren’t done yet – what will you accomplish next??
@Carla – Thank you so much! There really haven’t been too many days that made me as happy as meeting my goal weight!
When I hit 100 pounds gone – that was a day that I danced around, celebrated, and was so incredibly happy! I was so excited to tell my husband and all my online friends!
The other moment that I couldn’t wait to share was the day I did my triathlon. The incredible emotional feeling when I finished that day was so overwhelming that I cried when I finished (I am such a dork LOL).
If I ever get to my personal magic number, that will be another day to wake up the world
.-= Lori´s last blog ..NROLW with video! =-.
I can relate to not wanting to have the same stats as a linebacker in the NFL or weigh the same (or more) then my husband. When I was below 200, I felt so grateful and some trepidation at the thought of backsliding.
.-= LAF´s last blog ..Beggar’s Banquet, Hot 100 Update =-.
@Lori – I bet they were so excited for you! And the triathlon is an incredible accomplishment. I’m in awe!
@LAF – Yes, I can relate to both the feelings of gratefulness and of backsliding. Happy on one hand and a tad worried on the other. But mostly happy!!
I was super thrilled to lose my first twenty pounds. It was a major breakthrough for me in my weightloss journey.
The weight 199 is my first goal, because I also can’t wait until I’m under 200 again.
I think I’ll be wake-my-husband-up thrilled when I get under 170, because I haven’t weighed less than that since high school. I graduated at 153 pounds and put on about 15-20 pounds within the year and a half until I got married.
This was a very motivating post followed my wonderful comments!
My jump up and down moment will also be 199…I swear I don’t think I’ve seen it since about 3rd grade, lol.
.-= Tammy´s last blog ..Porkin’ Out =-.
@Leah – I can’t wait for you to get to 199. That will be a huge accomplishment for you, and I know your hubby will be so happy for you!
@Tammy – You are too funny! I’ll be jumping up and down with you when you hit 199!! It won’t be long now.
This post really touched me…
Some previous commenters mentioned weighing less than their husbands, and that’s what was huge for me too! I’m actually a bit taller than my husband, and he is a “petite Asian man” (I don’t think he’d be happy if he read this, but we won’t tell him…) so the difference isn’t much, but still…
Hearing you talk about it makes me SO excited to get there myself! 220 was a great milestone for me, but 199 will be close to the pinnacle of weightloss happiness for me, I think. Getting below 160, my lowest ‘mature’ weight, is my mountain top of weight loss to scale, and anything below that is just a bonus in my mind – 160 is my ‘arrival’.
It’s not just that you lost the weight that makes you so inspiring, Diane – it’s that you maintained it and live a healthy, active, fulfilled life to this DAY that I find so fantastic. Hearing about your own journey gives me great anticipation for my own!
.-= Taryl´s last blog ..Take that, TOM! =-.
@Andrea – I can relate to the desire to weigh less than hubby. That was a happy day for me as well. And don’t worry, no one will tell hubby how you described him!!
@Taryl – I’m excited for you to get there. I like the analogy of climbing a mountain. Excellent visual picture.
I’m glad that you find my story helpful – I love to see other people meet their goals!
I do not remember what the ones look like. I don’t know what my exact goal weight is, but I can not wait to see the ones! I got scared when I got close to 100s and I hope not to have the same bad luck this time. I want it so bad!
.-= MackAttack´s last blog ..Cooking squash =-.
Diane,
This is such an inspirational story! You are an inspiration, what you’ve accomplished! And it takes me back to my own battle to lose weight about five years ago – and how good it felt too, for me to see those numbers going down. Today, I don’t worry so much about what the scale says, as to how I feel and how things fit. That number, though, can be a big thing…seeing it get smaller and smaller… Such a wonderful story to read!
.-= Lance´s last blog ..Escaping Adulthood =-.
@MackAttack – I didn’t have an exact goal either! You can do it this time because you are really working on a lifestyle change for life. I know you want it bad – and I want you to succeed.
@Lance – Thank you very much. I’m glad you don’t worry about the scale anymore. That means you are right where you want to be. I still weigh every day. Personal choice to be sure!
I think I will feel this way once I can overcome 150… I haven’t been here since before I got married – I now it’s comming though – so rain check and I’ll tell you alll about it when I’m there!
.-= my kashi diet´s last blog ..the new me =-.
sorry diane – one more thing (i know you’re terribly busy ) but I am going out of town next week for my first vacation in 9 years and i would love to have you guest blog on my site – email and let me know if you’d be able to
thanks lots of love – natalie
.-= my kashi diet´s last blog ..the new me =-.
Yes – any of those milestone numbers are super exciting. Please do let me know when you slide under 150! And I would be honored to do a guest blog for you. I’ll email you.
Yeah, that 1 on the front was a big day for me. When I got back up to 200 in January this year, I was not happy and that got me remotivated. I don’t ever want to see it again!
My other huge day was fitting into size 10 nonstretch jeans. I was dancing in the dressing room at Walmart.
.-= MamaBearJune´s last blog ..Feeling better =-.
I haven’t been under 200 lbs since I ran a marathon in 1994. I got close in 2003 and again last fall. This time I’m going to make it
.-= DownsizingDoc´s last blog ..Busy, Struggling, and Hot 100 Goals =-.
@MamaBear – Congratulations on the size 10 jeans!! You have done an amazing job, and I agree – let’s not see the 200′s again. I know I don’t want to either.
@Downsizing Doc – You will make it! Wow, I didn’t realize you had run a marathon. What an accomplishment.
Diane, My milestone where, if I had a husband, i would wake him and tell him was when, deep within my soul, i realized I no longer was in “danger” and thus no longer needed my layer of fat on my body to protect me. Suddenly, I felt “skinny” inside and my body started changing.
that actually happened just last week too!! AAHAHAHA. Since then my smallest sized pants are now baggy on me. POOHAHAHHAA… well i’m also sick so I havne’t had an appetite. But truly it was after my emotions calmed down that my body calmed down.
Your blog is so inspirational, so sympathetic, so full of compassion and encouragement. I hope you keep on with this blog!
You are blessing so many people.
God bless!!
Leila
.-= Shelah´s last blog ..Culturally.. who am i? =-.
I love this post, Diane. For me it’s 160 because that’s what I weighed when I found out I was pregnant, as you already know. I don’t blame you for waking hubby up, and it sounds like he’s super supportive of you, so that’s awesome. I can’t wait to have that moment myself. PS I hope it’s ok that I linked to you on my blog.
.-= Josie´s last blog ..My Inspiration Picture =-.