For a long time I meandered through my daily life as an obese woman without any specific goals for myself. As a young Mom with two small daughters, I often thought that just taking a shower was a big accomplishment. And if I put on make-up that day I was doing really well. I remember so many times where the whole day would slip by and I would get nothing of substance accomplished. I did all the proper Mom things. I cooked, I cleaned, I played with the girls, I read books to them, I did laundry. I feel like I was a good mother during that time, but I wasn’t taking any time to improve my own personal health.
At 275 pounds I couldn’t even fathom what losing over 100 pounds would look like. The thought of losing that much weight was absolutely overwhelming and seemed impossible. Not to say I didn’t try. I was always on some kind of diet, trying some kind of new recipe and always thinking about losing weight. Unfortunately, what I never did was move beyond thinking about it, to actually doing it. Part of the problem was that I couldn’t seem to set any realistic goals for myself.
If I did think about setting a goal, I automatically went for the “big goal.” I’ve got to lose over 100 pounds. That was the goal. I never thought of setting weight loss goals in increments. Had I done that, I might have been satisfied with the random 10 or 15 pounds I lost over and over. Instead, when I did manage to lose a few pounds, the “big goal” seemed so far away that I just gave up and went back to the pantry for more chocolate. Chocolate may have made me feel better for a few minutes, but it only hastened the regaining of my lost 10 pounds.
When I finally started with my Fit to the Finish plan, I realized that starting out with the “big goal” wasn’t going to work. After all, it had never worked in the past. So that time, instead of looking at the enormity of the weight I had to lose, I broke it into steps and pieces. I knew I couldn’t lose 20 pounds in one day, or in one week, or probably in one month. So rather than just looking at the pounds lost, I reoriented my thinking in terms of five pound steps. When I got to 279, that was fabulous, and instead of looking ahead to 199, I thought about when I hit 274. And then what I would feel like at 269, and 264. I went down five pounds by five pounds on the scale, until one day I did hit 199. And then I hit 179, and 169 and so on.
Step by step it worked. By focusing on small pieces of the big picture, I was finally able to move from “thinking” about weight loss to actually “doing” weight loss. And with each five pounds I lost, I gained a little bit of confidence that this time was going to be different. This time I would finally lose more than 10 pounds, and I would actually keep it off. It worked. Twelve years have gone by now, and throughout those years I’ve had struggles like the rest of you. But I never lost sight of what it felt like to be overweight, and knew I never wanted to go back.
So as you begin your weekend, what small goals can you set for yourself? They don’t have to be huge, sweeping goals, but rather just small changes to move you closer to where you want to be. My goal for this weekend is to break out my cookbooks and get some new recipes on the menu for November. Some recipes that are tasty, healthy, and ones that even my two year old will like. Wish my luck! What is your goal for this weekend? Diane
I did each decade down the scale – the 210’s, the 200’s, the 190’s, etc. And you are right – little increments did help – a lot.
You said: “Unfortunately, what I never did was move beyond thinking about it, to actually doing it.”
And that made me remember how much time I spent VISUALIZING moving.
I don’t mean down the scale – I mean literally moving.
I felt so bad, both physically and psychologically and I conserved energy as much as possible. My body literally craved movement and stretching and toning – but I was ‘careful’ NOT to do anything like that – I kept my body as quiet as possible and just dreamed of exercise/movement.
I think this is mostly asthma related – I was so scared of NOT being able to breathe that I just cocooned myself.
Yes, physical symptoms behind this – but it was PURE anxiety/psychological response – and it took me a long time to get past it.
vickie´s last blog ..GREEN
This weekend?
BLOG LESS WRITE MORE.
Miz´s last blog ..First Person Friday (giveaway post).
@vickie – The impressive thing to me is that you did get past that anxiety of the asthma and move. And you move a lot now!
@Miz – Enjoy yourself!
I agree with Vickie about the ten pound increments. Only thing is I’ve been in the same decade for about 2 full months, and only have netted a 5 pound loss. However, your post helps me stay in touch with the fact of what I’ve already accomplished and maintained. Again and again my bursts of weight loss have been thwarted by just what you mentioned – looking at all that is left to do. This time I’m trying to take it slow, and let my head and my emotional self catch up with the physical changes. I am still struggling with bingeing far too often, and if I don’t figure out what that’s about, my progress to date won’t last.
As for a weekend goal – no bingeing. None. That means no movie popcorn if I go with friends to a movie tonight, which I’ve already been obsessing about. Argh!
Leslie Erickson´s last blog ..The good, the bad, and the whiny
@Leslie – I hope you can just enjoy your movie and try not to smell the popcorn! I agree with what you’ve said in that it’s really, really important to figure out what causes you to binge. Because if you can pinpoint a cause then that will help you avoid those binges in maintenance. You have done a great job – don’t be discouraged by the smaller weight loss recently.
I didnt have so much weight to lose but also set small goals for myself to get to my big goal…
My goals did change as I went along.
At 82kgs – 68kgs was the perfect weight for me, or so I thought…once I got to 68 I wanted to be 64…then once at 64, I wanted 62…and now want 60!!!!!!!
I encourage people who are on this journey to take baby steps and set weekly goals…
I too want to look into different meals to cook this week…found a nice WW site with some lovely ideas…
Have a great weekend.
Marcelle´s last blog ..Weekend Once Again
This is a good approach for any big project in life, break it down into much more doable steps. Much less daunting!
As for this weekend….Like everyone else, stay away from the Halloween candy. Come Sunday morning I will either throw the leftovers away or send them to work with my husband! I just need them out of the house.
@Marcelle – My goals changed along the way too. I know I say this all the time – but you look wonderful. Baby steps are so helpful. They really are.
@Mia – Good point about this being a good thing to do in life as well as weight loss. Good luck staying away from the candy!!
The next five pounds just watching that scale one pound at a time.
Make a menu plan for the next week.
@Sandy – Great goals. Very doable and attainable, and ones that will get you going where you want to be!
I am going to study for my first nursing class. However, I am going to go sugar free this whole weekend. Sat-Tuesday. Am going on a roadtrip and want to prove to myself that I can.
Thanks again..for making me think
I love that 5 pound thing – focusing on the 9’s and the 4’s instead of the 0’s and the 5’s. For some reason thinking about weighing 169 is a lot more appealing than 170.
This weekend? I’m going to clean out my closets!!
I think that breaking down the weight loss into super small pieces is a great idea. I have lost some weight but have more. I feel that if I can just break into the next decade I will get more motivated to succeed. Thanks for the reminder to not focus on the end number by it self but also to focus on what I need to do to get to the numbers inbetween.
I think that I may just be able to do this. I really appreciate everything that you do and the time you take in writing all these posts Diane.
@Michelle – I hope your studying and your sugar free weekend goes well. You can do it! Enjoy your trip.
@Monica – I’m glad you like it. I am a numbers person, so focusing on the numbers under the 0’s helped a lot! I hope that closet cleaning goes well!
@Sara – I’m glad you appreciate the posts Sara. I really do enjoy writing them and seeing what people have to say. You can get down to your goal weight – just one pound at a time.
Diane, your weekend goal sounds like my goal every Tuesday ! Try a new thing or two, mix up the favorites and keep it in the calorie range for everyone in the house.My goal is simple- to get the scale moving in the right direction again for myself ( it gets a lot harder as you get older) and keep the scale moving in the right direction for my son and husband. Repeat till we reach our goal, and know that this is not going to be a short process. Dramatic numbers make for good TV veiwing, but slow progress means lasting success.
Diane´s last blog ..Weathering the storm and changing plans
My goal for the weekend is to get all my weekend chores done on Saturday so I can totally relax on Sunday.
By the way, this post reminded me of a saying a friend of mine used to say:
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
South Beach Steve´s last blog ..Hot 100 Update
@Diane – Yes, I plan on Friday/Saturday and you plan on Tuesday. You do a great job of planning out everything -from snacks to meals! I agree with the dramatic numbers being good for TV, but I still wonder what happens to those people when the lights go out for a few years. . .
@Steve – I hope you can get them all done!
Well me BIG goal is this weekend with the half marathon. I will have to think of another after tomorrow!!
Staci´s last blog ..Need Advice… Please Help!!!!!
I guess I have a goal of eating healthy for a week. Since I’ve had a little bit of a bobble these past 2 weeks, I want to be able to get back on track!
I have to say, I love reading your blog. You are always very encouraging, and I appreciate your comments.
Like many people, my goal this weekend is to not eat Halloween candy. I’m not even sure I can try one piece. It’s still taboo. Maybe next Halloween I’ll be able to eat candy responsibly. Fingers crossed.
Amy H.´s last blog ..Tampax Series – Number 3
@Staci – GOOD LUCK! You will do great.
@Lori – I know that you have been feeling under the weather. You will get back on track and eating healthy is a great way to start!
@Amy – I’ll cross my fingers and toes for you! I’m not going to eat any this year. I’m holding out for Christmas candy!
LOVE this post, as I think setting small goals is what got me through my weight loss too. I didn’t have as much weight to lose, but I did have some HUGE lifestyle changes to make. I’d tried to do it all at once and failed many, many times. I was only successful when I started making little changes over the course of several months.
This weekend I want to
1) Get to bed early for my early-morning shifts
2) Stay active (ie a couple gym visits)
3) Relax and read my book
Susan´s last blog ..A Tale of Two Digits
Being in the middle of my weight-loss journey, I too, have set mini-goals for myself.
I’m setting them in 20 pound increments at the moment. BUT… I don’t stress if I don’t make a certain goal by a certain time.
Right now, I am 19 pounds away from the half-way mark. That’s one of my current mini-goals.
I am just 2 pounds away from having LESS than 100 pounds to lose! That is the goal I am really looking forward to making soon!
GeorgiaMist´s last blog ..BEFORE and… DURING!
@Susan – I have found it’s not about the number on the scale at all. Because no matter how little or how much we have to lose, we still have to make those lifestyle changes for it to stick. You are 100% right. Have a great weekend!
@GeorgiaMist – I am so excited for you to reach not only the big goal, but those intermediate ones as well! Keep up the good work!
I have found that I have to make daily goals for myself. When I try to do monthly goals and they aren’t going smoothly for me, I sabatash myself and then come down harder on myself because I couldn’t reach them.
I just got this months “eating well” magazine and it is full of great recipes that I’m going to try next week. Finding recipes the WHOLE family likes is always a goal for me too, especially with a very picky teenager.
Hope your family are all over the flu and you have a great Halloween weekend
brenda´s last blog ..Fingerprint Friday
Amy – me too! My goal is to not eat any candy. I’m a complete sugar-aholic and if I eat one small candy bar it’s downhill for me – it takes me a week to lose the sugar cravings! So now that my kids are grown and out of the house my husband and I go out to dinner on Halloween so I can avoid bringing candy into the house! When my kids were around of course we handed out treats. And I ate a few and sent any leftovers away with my husband the next morning but it always resulted in a miserable week for me.
@Brenda – Daily goals are great! They are just like a little to-do list for your health. That magazine sounds really good. Thanks for asking about the family – we are finally well and ended up with 5 confirmed cases and 2 people that felt badly for a few days, but not with the high fever.
@Babbalou – That’s a great idea to just leave the house and avoid the whole necessity of buying candy. Because of where we live, we don’t get kids at the door, so I don’t buy it either.
Recipes sounds like a good idea. My husband and I need some new food ideas since it’s tough when he’s a vegetarian and i can eat meat. So we have to get creative or else it just gets really boring.
@Robin – I bet that is hard for one of you to be a vegetarian and one not. I did vegetarian for myself for a couple of months earlier this year, and I found it really hard to plan meals. There were times I would make a chicken dish and then I’d just have the sides. I ended up just being happy eating chicken 2x a week and vegetarian the other days. If you find some good recipes let me know!
Diane, you know that this post was exactly what I needed to hear today.
I am going to work on looking at the 5-pound goals and try not to stress about the “big” goal.
Thank you for the great, liberating post.
Investing on a precise digital scale with 0.1kg increments that also can monitor body fat percentage was one of the best decisions I’ve made this time around.
Every 0.1kg does count for a petite-sized Asian woman like me. I learned to be excited and happy with 0.3kg loss per week. A loss that my old 0.5kg increments scale was unable to report. I often used to be disgusted with the unmoving number on the scale and throw in the towel – when in fact it may have been moving VERY slowly downward!
Just like a mouse nibbles a huge block of Swiss cheese away, I’m gnawing away my muffin top 0.1kg at a time. By focusing on small increments rather than being overwhelmed by far-away goal weight, I have lost 7kg in the last seven months – an ideal rate that every doctor and fitness expert recommends. I will keep this attitude through the last 4kg to my goal weight.
@Leah – Don’t stress!! You only have a few more pounds until you are in the 100’s! That’s what I’d focus on right now because you can do this.
@Chris – What a great idea to buy a scale that shows your loss to such a precise amount. Especially when you are small-boned and the weight loss is slow but steady. I wish you all the success on the rest of your journey.
My weekend goal? More variety in my foods…I can get in food ruts and eat the same thing 2-3 times a day. This weekend I will get myself organized by doing food prep so I avoid staying in my rut.
Joanna Sutter´s last blog ..Trips & Treats!
My goal for the weekend is pretty much the same as every weekend… maintain my sanity through the kids horrendous activity schedule, keep my eating on track and squeeze out 5 or 6 loads of laundry somewhere along the way…
Janet´s last blog ..Day 165 – Weekend is Free and Clear
@Joanna – I can get into ruts too – just ask my family. Great idea for getting organized and doing prep work ahead of time!
@Janet – Your life sounds very similiar to mine. Kids, laundry, and errands!
Thanks Diane for the reminder to look at weight loss in small goals. I keep looking at the “big picture” and keep getting frustrated. Now that I have the exercise part down…I need to refocus on the small goals until the weight is all off! Five pounds at a time sounds so much better that 100 pounds or more (in my case)!!!!!
@Tresa, You are welcome for the reminder! You have done great with your exercise. You can get the food part going and you will get to where you want to be!!
So true. I think having small, attainable goals is key (to really everything in life). For me 5 pound goals worked too when I was losing weight. Plus, I set non-weight goals, such as a certain amount of cardio minutes per week.
My goal is to get all my midterms graded by Saturday evening so that there is no stress on Sunday evening…
Have a wonderful weekend, Diane!
I’ve enjoyed the success I’ve enjoyed by tightening my own leash and simply concentrating on putting a good solid day together, and then seeing how many good, solid days I could string together. Frankly, it shocked me when I could sometimes string together six, seven, eight great days together… and the reward of seeing the weight come down inspired me to try to repeat the achievement as often as possible. My short-term goal is basically just to make it through today wisely and as strongly as possible. Then we’ll see about tomorrow…
Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit´s last blog ..I’m Sorry, Snoop Dogg
Excellent! Focusing on short term goals is a very good plan! Got me through medical school! You didn’t know my theme song was, “Every day is one more yard, you take it by the yard!” Of course those were not the real lyrics to Tom Petty’s “The Waiting,” but it worked for me
@Jack – I like the phrase “tightening my own leash.” It really is about reigning ourselves in and seeing success day after day.
@Dr. J – It obviously worked well because you made it through and are now successful at what you do!
On my blog I have the major milestones for me; 25 lbs lost, getting under 199, getting to smallest weight as an adult, etc. I had never thought about breaking it down into increments even smaller! (I might now)
I have been setting mini-goals for the elliptical and that’s helped TREMENDOUSLY and can now do it for nine minutes without stopping. I’ve been thinking of setting the same type of mini-goals for running (which I’ve yet to do any). One of my long term goals is to run a marathon, so I’ve got to start somewhere!
My goal for this weekend is to go through everything and figure out what we don’t use/need anymore so we can have a yard sale next weekend.
Josie´s last blog ..and just like that, it happened
Diane you are such a great motivater. I have managed to lose about 3 lbs this year, but have another 10 or so to lose. Seems very small compared to what you have accomplished, but it is hard on me. One thing that is very hard in the weight loss is cooking for my family and my picky 4 and 5 year olds. If you have any advice on healthy foods little kids would eat I will be your friend forever.
As for my plans this weekend…I will be attempting to pull together a healthy recipe plan, too. Wish me luck!
Stacy´s last blog ..Dolls
@Josie – You are doing great! I’m excited to see the progress you have made and will continue to make. You are 100% right – to run a marathon someday you have to start walking/elliptical etc. Great job!
@Stacy – Thank you for the kind words. Even though you don’t have a tremondous amount to lose, I’d wager that your 13 pounds bothers you in much the same way that my weight did. I think it’s great that you are taking steps to move where you want to be. I’ll let you know if I can think of some kid friendly, healthy recipes! I do have some around here!
I have to set small goals as well, usually 5-10 pound increments. As I am sitting at 214.8 right now, partially due to lax eating this past week, I have had to check myself and adjust my mindset. I am BELOW 215, which is huge. To regain some of my confidence my next goal is to make it to 213.-something by Monday, which may be tough given my eating this week. Either way, my goal is to dust myself off and do well tonight; tomorrow, and Sunday. I gave in to munching from stress, but with a lot or prayer I refuse to be defeated by it and am back on track quickly.
My previous ‘bigger’ (and only) time related goal was to be under 200 when I see my family in December. It’s likely not going to happen, I can’t lose that fast and still be healthily moderate, but I can still see it by Christmas if I try hard!
Taryl´s last blog ..Blah and blah.
Setting smaller goals is SMART: Be SMART about your goal setting. This means making your goals Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Timely. For example, if you want to run a 5 or 10K, you must do the above…. set up smaller goals to get there & be realistic about it. Being able to relate & conquer short term goals helps you continue on with those little successes!
My goal for this weekend…. try to live in the moment vs. always thinking out what is coming at me tomorrow or the next day.
Great post Diane!
Jody – Fit at 51´s last blog ..Lean Beef Recipes
@Taryl – Being below 215 is huge, and how exciting it will be when you are below 210. You will get there even with some setbacks. You can do this! Losing another 14.8 pounds by Christmas is doable. That’s about 1 pound a week or so. I’m rooting for you!
@Jody – Great point about setting specific, measurable goals. Enjoy your weekend Jody.
Hi Diane. Another thought provoking post. I think it’s always wise to break down any big job into achieveable smaller stages. This can stop one feeling overwhelmed in any area of life.
At the moment I am just concentrating on getting out of the house as often as possible – I’ve been out every day this week! And 4 of those days I had a good walk. Consequently I’m feeling better! And I have things booked for every day next week so the momentum will definitely keep going.
Good luck with your recipes!
Best wishes,
Bearfriend xx
Bearfriend´s last blog ..A is for ….
@Bearfriend – I’m so happy to hear that you have gotten out of the house on a consistent basis this week and taken a walk. I’ve really been thinking about you and hoping you are well. Take care.
This weekend goal is to completely journal all my foods. It really helps me see what times of day are struggles for me, the foods I always over eat and of course when it is black and white I can’t say “I’ve blown it”. That is all or nothing thinking and really 100 to 300 calories over is not as big of a deal once a week compared to the 3000 calories over if I stopped counting thinking I was hopeless!
Two questions Diane,
1. Did you set a goal weight? I know so many who are feeling imperfect 5 to 10 pounds above their “ideal weight” instead of looking at the accomplishments…. I’ve done this myself. Getting so close to my set goal and not seeing anything but a failure.
2. Where did you go for support when you felt overwhelmed?
Thank you so much!
@Theresa – Journaling is very important. I’ve had a lot of people tell me that was what made the difference for them. It was an accountably thing and helped them see where their calories were going.
I emailed you the answers to those questions!
You decribed my life.
Lisa´s last blog ..I only lasted 10 seconds…
I have to agree with the goals. I can’t focus on the long term. I think about every ten pounds I look forward to each new decade. I have an idea what my goal may be, but I won’t know until I’m closer. until then, I’m celebrating each little victory.
MackAttack´s last blog ..Dessert First
I forgot to say, check out my blog, You Won! The other Fiber One winner didn’t leave any contact info and hasn’t collected the prize. Send me your address (email is fatbustermack@gmail.com) and I’ll have it sent to you!
MackAttack´s last blog ..Dessert First
@Lisa – Your life can change. And you are working on it. I’m rooting for your success!
@MackAttack – Celebrating each victory is really smart. And not only do you have something to look forward to, but you also have a memory of each milestone you pass! By the way, thanks for the Fiber One information!
This is a good approach for any big project in life, break it down into much more doable steps. Much less daunting!