Comments on: Don’t Talk To Me Now!

By: Lola

Lola — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 16:18:17 +0000

“Not worthy of my emotional energy” — LOVE that. As I’ve gotten thinner and thinner I have noticed that the guys at work are friendlier and friendlier. And it makes me MAD.
Lola´s last blog ..Visualizing

By: Rhonda

Rhonda — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 15:56:14 +0000

Years ago when gas stations still came out and pumped the gas for you I was quite heavy and I remember the guy LOOKING at me while I waited and finally filled my own tank up and went in and wrote a check- fuming the whole time.
Some time later I had lost over 75 pounds- went to the same gas station and there were two guys literally running to see who could get out there first to help me (I am sure they did not recongnze me- it was in a different town). Astounding.
I am heavy again alas, but your posts are wonderful and give me hope every day I can do it one more time!

By: my kashi diet

my kashi diet — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 04:58:26 +0000

oh my gosh the nerve of some people, however you’ve GOTTA realize this is his insecurity here… it has nothing to do with you
my kashi diet´s last blog ..muscles and milestones

By: Hopeful

Hopeful — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 04:13:27 +0000

I have experienced the same thing, both up and down the scale. It drives me crazy. I may not stay angry at someone, but I’m sure not going to let them into my life – if they don’t like me when I’m fat because I’m fat, the hell with them when I’m not fat. I know who the people are who love me.

By: MackAttack

MackAttack — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 02:25:27 +0000

Oh gosh, I haven’t had this happen per se, but I hate how I can be invisible because of my weight.
MackAttack´s last blog ..full fat

By: Chris

Chris — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 00:42:21 +0000

Honestly, it’s only to be expected that thinner, attractive people receive more attention and better service in clothing stores. Salespeople get their commission per sale, they are not there to be friends with customers, and thin people spend much more money on clothing than fat people. Why waste time and energy on people who are less likely to get you paid?

I know that I spend much more money on clothing now, compared to when I was overweight. Most of recent purchases were out of sheer necessity, I’ve been overweight in my whole adult life except for one summer so I don’t own a single piece of smaller warm clothing to get back into. But I don’t deny that I buy more clothes because clothes are now FUN, for a change. So I really can’t blame the salespeople for treating me invisible in the past. Life is unfair like that.

By: Andrea@WellnessNotes

Andrea@WellnessNotes — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 22:26:15 +0000

I think it is so important to surround ourselves with people who like and appreciate us for who we are. And there are some people who are not worth our energy (but it is very hard to not be affected by others’ actions even if we know we shouldn’t let them affect us).

By: Sagan

Sagan — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 22:18:11 +0000

That kind of judgment is so sickening, isn’t it? And it makes it harder, later on, to trust people. I have to work hard to not wonder “would they like me if I were still __ way?”
Sagan´s last blog ..Book Review: “Women’s Home Workout Bible” by Brad Schoenfeld

By: Cari (aka Gastric Bypass Barbie)

Cari (aka Gastric Bypass Barbie) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 20:59:11 +0000

Oh Lord, has it! I work with this guy who used to be one of our vendors, but who is now a salesperson for our company. I’ve known him for 11 years — in other words, through 9 years of obesity. He is a pig — I’ll just leave it at that — but the first time he saw me 170 pounds lighter, he was falling all over himself to compliment me and just generally “be in my orbit.” He would ensure that he walked into my office AT LEAST once per day, just to be sure he could be in the presence of “the pretty girl.” It was so transparent, I couldn’t stand it. I was like, “Look, buddy, you’re short, bald and old. What makes you think I give a whit about your attention, now that I’m thin?”

But, I didn’t say that.

I just decided to use my newfound “fame” to my advantage. I don’t want to sound like I’m wielding a weapon, but that’s basically what beauty is. It’s a double-edged sword. Yes, it’s true that I ACT differently, now that I’m thin, and I probably don’t throw mental daggers at people anymore (which I’m sure I did in my “before” life), but the truth of the matter is, people are drawn to attractive people, so if I know that, I should claim the advantage.

What was that study that was done in the 60’s and again in the 80’s, where they watched children around fat people and people in wheelchairs? The vast majority of children were more comfortable being around the people in wheelchairs than those who were obese. They were actually drawn to the disabled people, and repelled from the fat people.

So, there is truth to what I’m saying (as uncomfortable as it may be.)

Anyway, like I said, I use the advantage to my benefit, to keep him in line and get what I want. I don’t abuse my “power” — but it’s nice to be in control of the exchange for once!

I guess what I’m ineptly trying to say is, I don’t mind being the “pretty girl” that people need to talk to or be seen with. If that makes them feel better about themselves for that moment, how does that diminish my self worth? Answer: It doesn’t.

I’m not looking for a meaningful relationship with these people (I’ve already got a cute hubby for that) — but it sure is nice to have the door held open for me, or get the tip of a hat or blow of a kiss (as happened at the Breeders’ Cup this past weekend) from a man. What the heck! It’s a whole lot better than being invisible — or worse — being reviled — even if much of that was due to my own lack of confidence.
Cari (aka Gastric Bypass Barbie)´s last blog ..Shoes, Glorious Shoes.

By: Gina Fit by 41, Maybe 42

Gina Fit by 41, Maybe 42 — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 19:46:59 +0000

Yes, I’ve had experiences of not just feeling invisible but being invisible. I’ve yo-yo’ed and do notice a difference.

But, I’d like to add something as a “devil’s advocate” or as the other side of the coin perspective: People often react to our confidence levels and how we carry ourselves, smile, etc.

The prejudice is out there and is real, I don’t mean to minimize that. Our presentation of ourselves, any size, could make an impact, too.
Gina Fit by 41, Maybe 42´s last blog ..Oink, Oink