First let me say that I love Pampered Chef products but do not sell them (anymore). That’s right, I used to be a consultant with Pampered Chef. And it wasn’t after I lost my 150 pounds, but rather right smack in the middle of my struggle with extreme obesity.
This was one of those experiences where I stepped right outside my comfort zone due to some financial needs in our family. John was working many hours and I really wanted to help supplement the family income. So when a friend introduced me to Pampered Chef I signed up to be a consultant under her. Fortunately for me, I was one of the first consultants in my town, so found booking parties and selling the products rather easy. What wasn’t so easy was standing up in front of people talking and cooking.
I don’t know if you’ve ever been to a Pampered Chef party, but the way it works is this: The hostess invites her friends over, the consultant comes with all his/her product, and makes several recipes in front of the guests. The guests get to see the products in action, taste the delicious results, and hopefully, if everything goes well, order some stuff.
I didn’t mind the public speaking part of it as I was accustomed to that from my banking days, but I did mind the flailing of my upper arms as I manhandled the chopper. I had to use the chopper for several recipes to cut up peppers, onions, tomatoes, etc. The chopper looked something like this:
You chop by slamming your hand down on top of the plunger repeatedly until you get the veggies to the desired size. Since I had very few long sleeved items of clothing, I was always self conscious of my arms flapping around in the wind as I chopped away. There was no way to camouflage them. It was the worst part of the demonstration. That, and how big I felt in comparison to the card table I used to perform my demos. I was wider than the table.
Those things bothered me a lot, but I continued selling the product lines for several years. One thing I never did was eat with the guests. I would make delicious apple crisps, brownie pizzas, and beautiful chicken rings, but the food never passed through my lips. When the hostess asked me if I’d like any I always said, “Oh, goodness no. That’s for your guests!” The real reason I refused was that I didn’t want anyone thinking of me as someone who ate too much food. How silly.
When I look back on those three years I have mixed emotions. I’m proud that I stepped outside of my isolationist tendencies and met people I would never have met otherwise. I’m proud that I did make a little bit of money to help us through a rough patch. But I regret that I always felt so self conscious of my appearance but never took any steps to correct my bad habits.
In some ways it was like there were two Dianes. The successful confident consultant, and the shy, reclusive fat girl. I wish I had married the two with some sort of compromise. It’s one of those lost opportunities that I will never have again. I’ve long since come to terms with those feelings of regret, but I still remember that time well.
It’s just another event in my life that serves as a reminder of why I never want to go back to living that life again. There were great moments but there were a lot of moments that were filled with pain.
Where are you today? Do you have something specific that you hope you never have to experience again? Or is there something you’ve achieved that you are proud of, whatever your weight? Diane
I just love your blog, Diane! But I think if I were to attempt to answer either of your last two questions I would be here all night!
266´s last blog ..Another Fly-By Posting
I completely understand that!
I had a thing about having my picture taken, and I mostly got over it while I was still large. I still didn’t like seeing the photos, though. Now, I’m fine with it. I’m no more photogenic than before, but I take up less real estate at least.
Cammy@TippyToeDiet´s last blog ..Calling All Cookies
Hey, I have a Pampered Chef chopper, bought at least 15 years ago…still works great! I remember those parties – I was always too embarrassed to eat the food at them because I didn’t want people to think I had a problem (because you couldn’t tell by looking at me…oh wait).
Shelley B´s last blog ..Pants Panic
Hello on this Friday afternoon in Germany ( cold and wet )
I can imagine the emotions you experienced during those dark days.
How do you feel about your arms today?
What happened to the skin?
I have lost weight but never had as much as you to lose and I cant stand my arms, the skin…I work them everyday at the gym and the muscle looks much better but there is nothing I can do to tighten up the skin…you notice it more when I’m on the elliptical or doing a boxing class as the skin is loose and moves..
I was chatting to the fitness instructor while working on the elliptical this week and I saw his eyes go onto my arms and I knew immediately what he saw…something you wont see if I was standing still talking to him – but in the end rather this than the very fat arms I had.
Marcelle´s last blog ..Rain, Rain and more rain
I’m not a big fan of my arms in sleeveless clothes. I have them as toned as they can be by doing strength training, but they are larger than someone who hadn’t weighed 305 pounds!
That being said though, I’d much rather be where I am now. A little cosmetic problem is tiny in comparison to the health problems I was heading for before.
I bet your fitness instructor was looking at how amazing you look!!
I’m with Cammy. I HATED getting my picture taken. At my parent’s house, there are walls and walls of photos, of my parent’s life essentially ! It is really quite something and people love to “browse” through them, asking questions or just looking. So even though today, I am much thinner than when I was in my teens and 20’s, those fat pictures are there! People who never knew how heavy I was can see for themselves.
Later, after I lost a large amount of weight, I used to take down a few pictures before someone (a boyfriend, say) came over to my parents house. I can laugh now but it was pretty obvious that a picture had been pulled as they are nearly touching each other!
I still don’t like my picture taken, but at least I don’t hide in the back behind someone. Scarred for life! (Or scared for life! LOL!!)
Mia
I can easily picture exactly the recipes that Pampered Chef consultants used to make for parties. How much did being around/making that type of NON-food (I am thinking of the empty carbs of the crusts and things) contribute to your weight?
I still have and LOVE my Pamper Chef stuff – just don’t make the typical PC recipes.
vickie´s last blog ..Nutritionist / Food Sets
I think at that point I was so far into my bad habits that being around that kind of food didn’t phase me in the least. At first, when I learned how to make the recipes, I loved eating them (at home) but after awhile I got tired of them!
Sadly, last summer I didn’t want to go swimming much with my kids because I didn’t feel comfortable in a swimsuit. I’m counting on losing this last 15 pounds and getting out there next summer, but I feel so sad that I wouldn’t take my kids out because of my problem. They’d be swimming by now if I had only taken them out. Must move on, though, and not dwell too much on past mistakes.
Amy H.´s last blog ..Snip Snip
I think for me, I avoid a lot of social situations because of my weight. I know that I could have a lot to offer people with my abilities but shy away from revealing what I know how to do because of my weight.
It’s sad to me, but on the other hand I’m looking forward to making all the changes you have made!!
It’s amazing to me how far you’ve come, and how much you are comfortable revealing of yourself. I applaud you and wanted to tell you that you express what so many others are feeling, myself included.
One thing that I’m looking forward to doing is going to a fair and riding all the rides that I want to ride no matter what they are. Not to be constrained by size will be a blessing beyond words.
Thank you Diane for your blog, because I feel encouraged.
I bet you were an amazing Pampered Chef consultant no matter how much you weighed!
Joanna Sutter´s last blog ..The Fit List Continues
That chopper looks very handy!
I never want to not be able to fit into a swing set seat. I know that sounds nuts, but I love to swing when I get the chance and when those chains pinch…ouch!
Like Amy H,
I never swam with my kids-just sat on the sidelines.
Infact, I sat on the sidelines for just about everything.
being stuffed in stadium seating. almost needing more room in a restaurant booth (between my seat and the table.) hating to be in photos….and now robbing me and my family of my presence in most of those pictorial histories. too many things to mention. Some very personal, very painful. But I’m past all that now. FINALLY. And you are a part of the reason why.
Sunny´s last blog ..Is It Friday Yet?
I tend to hide…a lot…hate being in front of people having my picture taken but suck it up to move on. I am working more and more on the whole self confidence thing…hopeing as the weight comes off I will feel better.
Trish @IamSucceeding´s last blog ..Fitness Friday: Water… The Many Faces
I never want to be 231 pounds and feeling like I’ll always be fat, and there’s no way around it.
With all the vexations this past week I can say that I’m proud I am working on my weight and I’ve even started to attempt jogging. I have a post brewing in my mind about this, but a year ago I had decided and verbalized to some close friends that I was content with being heavy and I wasn’t going to beat myself up anymore for my weight.
If you would’ve told me that a year from then I was going to be jogging for little bits with the hopes of running someday I would’ve laughed.
Thank you for your continued inspiration in your blog posts, Diane!
ohh! I use to sell PC too! I was HUGE when I did it and always worried about everyone staring at me! YIKES. I think the main reason I didnt make that PChef “career” work for me is that my weight held me back, it did not allow me to be outgoing or successful.
tj´s last blog ..Thursday
One thing I hope I never have to experience again is running out of Cheeto’s in the middle of my “Sandford & Son” marathon.
*Please be advised that Jack Sh*t is celebrating Opposite Day today. The viewpoints expressed in this comment do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the comment writer. For more information, please go to Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit at http://jackfit.blogspot.com/2009/12/opposite-day.html.
Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit´s last blog ..Opposite Day
Great post, Diane! I guess one special thing that I am proud of is what I just wrote about on my column today
Correction on link
Dr. J´s last blog ..Dr. J on the season of giving
When my boys were in elementary school I went one day a week to help in their classes. I hated going because of my size. I loved being there for them, but I hated that I was so afraid of sitting in the little chairs. I worried that the kids would tease by boys about their huge mother. I’m so happy now when I go to my sons school, I walk in proudly. I make sure I dress nice and I can even cross my legs when I sit in the chairs. Every year I would think to myself that next year I won’t be overweight and embarrassed to go to the school, that year has finally come
You mentioned this before but I love how you didn’t want to eat in front of your guests because they might think you were a pig. I just laugh at this because I NEVER ate “crap” food in front of people, hahaha, I was 250 pounds, who did I think I was fooling? Like they thought for a minute that I was living off carrot sticks and broccoli. The sad part, I still am self conscious about eating fattening food in front of people, I will but I’m super aware of it. Thanks for the post.
I think most of the “bad moments” and thought prisons that we experience when obese are things I don’t want to go back to. *shudder*
Mary :: A Merry Life´s last blog ..Walking Sucks, But It Is Good Exercise
Diane, you are so real!!! We all relate to what you write!! Thank you for sharing your experiences al the time! I feel your two people thing! I always was self conscious… even now I have my own issues with myself BUT I still would get up & do cheerleading & drill team & speak & so forth but inside I felt worthless. It is amazing how a person can do these things even when they don’t like themselves but I did. I think some of it was that I actually could do something good even if I was fat… so I was a good cheerleader or drill team person but I felt bad cause I was fat… craziness!
Like Cammy, I hated the camera & I still have major probs with taking pics cause I never learned to be comfortable in front of it…
BUT, I am so proud of what I have accomplished for my age & was very proud when I won my 2 amateur bodybuilding contests in my late 30’s.
Jody – Fit at 52´s last blog ..Out of My Comfort Zone! Thank You’s!
Diane, I have let my weight stop me from really living half my life! I wouldn’t go swimming with my kids, or skiing with them. My heart breaks to think of what I have missed out on.
Now that I’ve lost 67 pounds, I feel differently about myself. I’m not so self conscience and I am much more outgoing, like I used to be. I also have SO much more energy to play with my kids. At 37 years old I feel like I finally started living.
I am not sure if I have ever read you blog before but I love it!
I am about a third of the way to my goal. I used to be the master at hiding when pictures were taken. I now get right out front. Not because I want to be seen but I want to remember what I looked like and how I felt at this weight. I want to be happy to have my picture taken and hide from the camera anymore. Although I am not there yet, I will get to my goal no matter how long it takes.
Lorie´s last blog ..Weighing in
I know how you feel. I used to work in politics and met a politician that I was so excited about. I posed for the picture and anxiously anticipated the photo arriving in my mail box. It was horrible. I looked so terrible that the photo never left the envelope. I was so furious that a picture so important to me was ruined by my frumpy outfit, stance etc. (in an unrelated note, the politician turned into a sleeze so the picture was tossed!)
mackattack´s last blog ..The Seasoned Chef
I grew up with my mom telling me not to eat in front of gatherings because I do not want to look like a pig. Sometimes I wish I do not remember my mom’s weight issues.
asithi´s last blog ..Online Health Record and Weight Bumps
I just wanna be able to sit down and cross my legs like most woman. I still cross my legs like most chubby women. I still don’t like to take pictures but as I get older, I want my kids to see a happy, outgoing person… so however long it takes so that I can cross my legs like a lady–it’s okay because the journey to fit and healthy is pretty darn goodl.
Your last two questions really give me lots to think about.
Paula´s last blog ..Aprovechar
Well learned again something today: the pampered chef
Never heard of it before.
I don’t have an answer to your question right away, I would have to think about that.
Fran´s last blog ..A day in my life: Saturday December 12th 2009
I got really heavy with my pregnancies, but the one thing I was proud of my body for was sucessfully breastfeeding all three of them for their first year. It was amazing to me that my body could do that! But I hated everything else about it.
The other thing I am proud of is, in spite of not yet being at my “happy & healthy” weight, I still trained for and ran two half marathons the last couple years and a few other races, and that still amazes me when I think that I actually did that.
I know I still have a ways to go, improvements to make and issues to work on, but I have come to see myself as a work in progress, getting better all (most) of the time!
Amy´s last blog ..Congratulations Jenny!
I can honestly say that I am currently in the same boat that you were once in. I am 220lbs and in a financial strain right now. I made the decision to be a “home Party” consultant so that I could stay home with my kids (at least most of the time). I am trying to lose weight, and struggle with my poor choices everyday in my eating habits. I actually picked a company that works with my personality, and my lifestyle change. The line that I am selling, I stand by because they have healthy alternatives for the party food and for me to encourage others to buy. I try to stay away from doing parties that have unhealthy ingredients (which doesn’t always happen and I have to practice will power). I can see where your personal struggle comes in with this. I am an extremely emotional eater….and when the pressure is on…what do we do? I am enjoying reading your blog, and hope to learn from your experiences!
~NYKY