Here’s the situation that happened at my house a few months ago. We had a group over for lunch, where different people were bringing different parts of the meal. I made a vegetarian chili, and one lady said she would bring bread. “Great,” I said. Well, I don’t think I would have said that had I known what she was going to do to the bread.
She came in with two small loaves of french bread and a Wal-Mart bag. She asked if she could heat the bread up in my oven as she was going to do cheese bread and it needed to be freshly cooked. “Of course,” I said, and turned on the oven. Then, to my shock, she pulls out TWO sticks of butter and asks for a bowl in which to melt them. Puzzled, I handed her a bowl and watched as she melted the butter in the microwave.
THEN, she used a pastry brush and brushed the entire TWO sticks over butter over the opened bread loaves. THEN, she put an entire bag of shredded cheese on each loaf and put the whole greasy thing into the oven.
I didn’t even know what to say. The whole time she was making the bread she was going on and on about how much her family loved this bread and how they just got so excited every time she made it. I was standing there in shock. This was not a morbidly overweight woman, but like many people, could lose about 25 – 35 pounds.
I wanted to tell her to stop smearing all that fat all over the bread but I just couldn’t bring myself to be rude. I wanted to ask her if just a sprinkling of cheese would be sufficient but I didn’t.
What I did do was make sure I didn’t eat any of that “high-fat, horrible for you” bread.
But then later, as I realized that I was standing in “judgement” of her actions, I felt guilty. I did many, many similar bad food things throughout my years of struggling with my weight. I added loads of fat to foods that didn’t need anything added to them like bread, veggies, fruit, pasta, and more. I honestly wasn’t thinking about the health and/or calorie aspect of any foods I was making. I was just trying to make everything taste as good and yummy as I thought it should. And if bread was good alone, then bread with butter must be better. If fruit salad was tasty undoctored, then adding 1/2 cup of sugar to it would make it even tastier.
What a difference just having an awareness of the nutrition, calorie counts, and healthyness of foods our body needs makes. Perhaps the woman at my house really didn’t think about how many unnecessary calories and fats she was adding to her food. Like I used to be, perhaps she was just doing what she had seen done by other people.
In any event, I learned another lesson that day. I shouldn’t judge other people for their food choices, but should realize that they too can change as I did. Perhaps I should have asked her if we could leave one loaf “unadorned” for those of us who were watching our fat intake – or not. I also learned that it is very hard to know for sure how dishes are prepared. Had I not seen her make that bread I would have incorrectly assumed it just had a lot of cheese on it. I may have eaten a piece and scraped off the cheese. I like to think I would have been able to taste the excess butter though!
What do you think when you see people preparing food in a way that you never would? Do you say anything or just let it go? Any tips on guiding people in the right direction? Diane
I’m back! I have had such a hard time catching up on all the blogs I read and you are the very last one! I have always been very sincere when I have told you that I get a lot out of reading your insightful posts. It was important to me to go back and absorb what you had written during this past month that I have been behind on reading, so I hope you understand my lack of comments lately. Now I am all caught up and hope to never be behind again (ha ha)!
Anyhow, as always your posts get me thinking overtime. I too would have turned down the bread (well… maybe I would have had a tiny piece; I do LOVE bread) and not said anything. I think that I am still so new to this that I would have a hard time voicing my feelings over something like that without thinking that I was sounding ‘holier-than-thou’ due to a few (okay, more than a few) pounds I have recently shed. It’s a difficult scenario, but I will definitely be checking back to see if your other readers have any suggestions on how to handle it in a graceful manner.
.-= 266´s last blog ..Thank You Note =-.
I see this every day.
But to tell then would offend them.
Would we have taken such criticism in our pre-weight*loss-lives?
They do their thing – I do mine.
But I bring my own snacks!
INTERESTING!
Until you wrote this/I read Id not realize that I tend to think, when I see people eating fast food or foods in a way I might not prepare: THAT MUST BE THEIR TREAT OF THE WEEK.
THEIR INDULGING.
Unless someone asks me or truly seems to seek my advice Im too mired in my own “stuff” to judge.
(I hope this is coming across correctly. Im visualizing it in the same manner as grocery shopping. people often ask me if I check out other peoples’ carts and roll m y eyes internally. I dont. Im too focused on gitting some healthy foodstuff in my own cart
)
.-= Miz´s last blog ..MizFit & The Ellen Show. =-.
Here is a whole 4 oz stick of butter:
Nutrition Facts
Calories 810 (3387 kJ)
% Daily Value 1
Total Fat 91.6g 141%
Sat. Fat 58g 290%
Cholesterol 243mg 81%
Sodium 651mg 27%
Total Carbs. 0.1g < 0.1%
Dietary Fiber 0g 0%
Sugars 0.1g
Protein 1g
Calcium 27.1mg
Potassium 27.1mg
Yes, I realize no one person was eating a whole stick. But interesting to see the total numbers, don't you think?
I think that perhaps it is safe to "blame" it on medical conditions "good idea to leave one loaf plain for anyone that has diabetes or is watching their choleterol or weight".
I DID this once. Not said leave one loaf plain, but was the one with the butter.
It was the old rice recipe that goes in the oven (rice, water, 1 pkg dry onion soup mix and a whole stick of butter). And I had someone, fork midway to mouth, CHOKE on the thought of it as she was sitting at my table eating lunch asking me what was in the recipe as it tasted SOOOOOO good.
My kids now say – if something tastes SOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD that is the first clue that there is something REALLY unhealthy in there.
.-= vickie´s last blog ..someone, somewhere has an odder combination than I do, but I think we are a good example of a household where everyone does NOT eat the same foods =-.
My first thought was that I am very judgmental. My second thought was that maybe this person, like me, prepares food differently for other people. When I am dieting, I will often still offer what I consider to be tastier dishes with more general appeal to others, wanting them to like what I make. And when I got to you question I realized that I would never say anything. One time I watched my sister-in-law prepare a dish for us all in which she had some very unsanitary habits with the raw meat. (I am a big on being safe with raw meat!) I ate it and crossed my fingers that no one would get sick!
.-= WaistingTime´s last blog ..Party Hearty or Party Smarty =-.
I agree with Miz, who knows, your friend could eat 100% clean the rest of her life but this is her one special treat, a family favorite as you said that she wanted to bring to the table.
.-= Joanna Sutter´s last blog ..A Really Sweet Deal =-.
I would never say anything to anyone about their choices. Unless they asked, of course. I am sure I weigh more than she does and I have never done that with my bread,so obviously I’ve made other poor choices. If she isn’t morbidly overweight, she must not be eating that bread very often, so kudos to her.
It is what it is. You don’t have to eat it. And other people can make their own decisions. They have to.
When entertaining for whatever reason, I do let up on restrictions however I always have healthy choices to go along with some decadence. Fresh fruit with coffee cake. Veggie tray with chips and dip. (And I throw away those decadent leftovers as soon as the front door closes!)
I will admit that the description of that cheese bread made my arteries cringe. But long long ago, I would have eaten that bread with gusto! And gone for seconds and thirds!
I am now at a different place with food. And so are you! (And just look at you!! Beautiful, inside and out!)
Mia
Had you said something to her you might have offended or hurt her. I think it is best that you bit your tongue. I say this because my best friend, who I dearly love, constantly makes comments about what people are eating and tries to share her wealth of information. She has alienated a lot of people even though her intentions are good.
Most people know when they are eating wrong. I see your thoughts as not so much judging as concern for her health.
.-= karen@fitnessjourney´s last blog ..Who Motivates You? =-.
YIKES on that bread! I am used to the people I know making things a certain way & they know how I am so nothing needs to be said..
BUT, occasionally I will mention a healthy alternative. This is mostly with family members, not like women friends. That is a delicate balance there!
.-= Jody – Fit at 52´s last blog ..If You Say "I Can’t", READ THIS NOW! =-.
Locally, people tend to bring their more decadent dishes to pot-lucks and special events, so I wouldn’t have thought anything of it (other than to wish someone had brought plain bread) and probably wouldn’t have thought to suggest leaving one loaf plain.
Then again, I wouldn’t have brought two loaves of the same kind of bread, prepared the same way, to an occasion like that. An assortment of small rolls of different flavors is more my style. And I know what I’m talking about. Given my cooking history, I’m frequently asked to bring bread to these types of events.
.-= Cammy@TippyToeDiet´s last blog ..Product Review: Habit Changer =-.
I let it go, but I won’t eat it
I’ve given several people talks on how to improve their health with better eating. NONE of them have listened, and all are doing worse! Maybe someone else on here can tell me how to reach people before they have the catastrophic event that WILL change them, because I am frustrated with the power of addiction
In my real life (outside here on blogs LOL)…I won’t say something unless asked. I will, however, not eat it, like you, Diane. But in blog life, I tend to be a bit more candid and revealing and daring. Why? Because all of us are here in the guise of trying to lose weight. I can’t abide to stand by and watch someone continuing to make the same mistakes that got them in this predicament. I’m more into “tough love.”
.-= Sunny´s last blog ..Growth is a Pendulum =-.
I don’t say anything, but I do judge. I live in northwest PA, and sometimes I think my husband and I are the only healthy eaters around. I can’t help but judge when I am in the checkout line and see what some people buy.
Diane – great post. As someone who is learning how to eat healthy, I don’t judge what others fix or eat, but I watch. I tuck it away. For me, I have to be shown a different way. I went through a class last year that changed me. Just learning about portion control and labels was huge for me. They showed the visuals on a real portion versus today’s “typical” portion.
I will never forget my surprise about a muffin. I thought oh, a banana nut muffin. That is healthy. When I read the label and saw 750 calories, I threw the muffin away. reading the label and then later having the visual, what I thought was a healthy change for me, became an AHA moment.
I got stuck in “the usual”, the habit and I am trying new things. I try something new every week, whether that is a new exercise, a new to me food, or a new way of preparing my food. What I am use to tasting good or feeling good has to be replaced with something that is not dull and boring.
Personally, if I was cooking something like that, I would appreciate it if someone asked me to try something different to see another way. Sometimes we don’t realize exactly what we are doing. We need to be shown, not told.
.-= Jules – Big Girl Bombshell´s last blog ..Happy 101 =-.
I judge silently not because I think less of the person but because I see so much of my former self in their eating habits. I can’t tell you how many times at my heaviest weight I added butter, salt, cheese, ranch dressing, etc to foods that might not even be healthy to begin with. I particularly remember dipping slice after slice of extra cheese pizza from Papa John’s into its complimentary garlic butter sauce. One of my popular pot luck dishes was a macaroni bake laden with butter and a half lb of American cheese. I didn’t know any better and if anyone had told me what I was doing was wrong I’d probably feel embarrassed.
I think you did the right thing given the situation. It would have been bad timing. I think if you’re really concerned about your friend’s health there are more subtle ways to approach discussing wellness without sounding like you’re attacking her habits.
.-= Jenelle´s last blog ..Day 20: Level 2 Results =-.
It really depends on the situation. If it is my mom I will try to tell her because she has type two diabetes. But if it is a friend, usually not. When I was in that situation, hearing people criticizing my food choices only made me want to eat more!
.-= Lauren @ Eater not a runner´s last blog ..Sportello Round #2 =-.
What a good question! I normally don’t open my mouth when I see others making a dish at a gathering. We get together with distant family in 4th of july and I have learned to take 2 (instead of the 1 I am asked to bring) healthy side dishes so my family and I have a chance to get a couple of healthier things in. There are so many dishes that I prepared when I was at my heaviest that I wouldn’t dream of putting in my mouth now. That bread would have probably been one of them
It’s hard to see how others eat sometimes, but this example reminds me of holidays with my own family and other occasions when you need to bring a dish to pass. I think it’s a time where we just want to bring something that tastes “good”. Sometimes “good” is high fat and full of sugar. I’m guilty of it myself sometimes for bringing something that I would never make at home because it’s too high in fat. So although this might be the way she cooks all the time, it reminded me that eating is an event and we should all be more health concious during those events.
I had a similar situation recently where a friend and I were taking soup and bread to another who’d had surgery a few days earlier. We were going to visit and eat with her. I brought soup and my friend brought the bread. Here’s what a judgemental bread snob I am…she brought white bread that was like a french bread shape. One thing I never eat and have no trouble abstaining from is white bread. I had thought this gal would be a “white bread” bringer…and almost brought some 100% whole wheat rolls too, but thought that would also be viewed as unkind. I was really disappointed, but at least I didn’t eat bread that night! I would have done the same thing – just not had any.
.-= Leslie´s last blog ..YUCK =-.
I wouldn’t have said anything, but I wouldn’t have eaten the bread, either!
.-= Erin´s last blog ..Bootius Maximus =-.
I’m apparently not as nice as all of you. Depending on how well I knew her, I think I would have asked for one to be prepped much lighter, or just told her how disgusting that was, was she trying to give all heart disease (jokingly, at least the first time or two)?
I think many people think they are doing you a favor when they make really fattening nasty food (ok, not only am I not nice, I am judgemental). I make dinner for a friend once a week or so, and another friend has started to join us, and she seems to believe no meal is complete without dessert. And I give her a hard time for it. Though she didn’t know me when I was obese, she knows I’m losing weight, and while I eat fatty sugary stuff, I don’t eat it often. The annoying thing is, I will only eat chocolate or vanilla, so she can get anything else and I won’t eat it, and I keep telling her that, and she keeps bringing chocolate, thinking I’ll be mad if she brings things I don’t like. I don’t think people have to hide things from me, or not eat food they like in front of me, but this is just annoying. I’ll likely snap at her soon, which I hate to do, but as I’ve learned from dealing with my family, sometimes that’s the only way to change behavior (or get someone to shut up about something already)
I’m absolutely becoming one of those party poopers who won’t order pizza at 11 pm, eat dessert just because it’s tasty, more food than I want just because it’s there, etc. This losing weight crap is a lot of work, I just don’t want people to feel like they’re doing nice things for me by trying to get me to eat when I don’t bloody want to.
Sorry to rant, but this touched a nerve.
.-= julie´s last blog ..Shopping from size XL to S =-.
I should clarify that I would only say something to someone familiar to me, in my kitchen, absolutely not to a stranger in someone elses house. I’m not really one to talk, when I eat a Dungeness crab, I eat about 1/3 stick butter with it. I take two meals to eat it, but I’m sure it’s gross and excessive to many. If I ate more than one or two a year, I might find a different sauce.
.-= julie´s last blog ..Shopping from size XL to S =-.
I always bring a vegetable platter. Different people cook cook different ways that’s for sure. I just can’t afford not to bring something healthy. I would never say anything. It’s not my place but I would not eat it. Just snack on the veggies
I can’t help but think of Paula Dean on the food channel. Everything starts with a stick of butter and she deep fries bacon. She says she is a cook and not a doctor. I have come not to enjoy watching her make her concoctions and think if I eat like her, I will look like her. Same for Ina Garten. I used to not mind at least watching this stuff, but now I wish there were more healthy food shows on rather than this crap. You can learn to love good for you food. You can even learn to crave. I judge that these people are in denial or ignorant of the fact regarding what food are good for you and the importance of a healthy diet.
This made me think of Paula Dean too and the Oprah show I just saw today where she was at the Texas state fair and they were tasting all the different foods that are deep fried – including deep fried butter patties in batter – yeck! It is so hard for all of us, being bombarded every day with advertising, tv programs, cooking shows, recipe sections in magazines and newspapers that continue to push recipes with ingredients that are not conducive to general good health – is it any wonder so many of us equate “really good” with food that is really bad for our bodies? Is it any wonder so many of us struggle with our weight?
.-= Amy´s last blog ..Happy Birthday Mom! =-.
I would have been horrified too. I watched someone make pasta with one stick of butter and I was shocked. At the time, I ate the pasta. Now, I wouldn’t.
I think that a lot of people know what they’re eating is not necessarily the best option but because it tastes so good and *something with lower calories couldn’t possible taste as good,* they eat it anyway…
I never look or think about those things. Maybe because I am thinking too much about what I SHOULD be doing… lol
.-= Lisa´s last blog ..ok, ok!!!! =-.
Hi Diane, i’m back too. I have a lot of great news here that took all my times off so i’ve stopped reading your delicious blog. But i’ll try to read all the entries in january i missed. I love u so much, you’re such a good woman with always good experiences to share and ready you help me to go forward in my weight travel.
I’m French and bread are my specialties and the basic receipe is : 500gr flour, 1.5 teaspoon salt, 300gr water and 5gr”levure”. Mix and wait. Put into your “four” for 20-25min at 240°C and it’s delicious!
No greasy cheese, no butter, no no fat!!!!
wow I do this all the time. BUT, its when I go to lunch with fellow WW members! YEAH, so one girl asks that we go to a Mexican restaurant. AAHHHH! I could be a BAD girl at that place- but NO- they had a meal with a grilled chicken breast and some grilled veggies as a side. It was delicious and I ignored the chips/salsa. So my fellow WW pal orders a super chicken WET burrito. This thing is HUGE, dripping with cheese and some sort of sauce. She sees me look over at it and then tells me- dont worry I am only going to eat 1/2. I just don’t see the point. How can you go to a WW meeting and then off to a restaurant where you blow it- order the wrong item! I asked the other gal with us about how many points she thought our healthy meal was- as the burrito eater just ate and ate, not even putting a points value on her meal (how could you actually??) I guess I have a hard time with situations like that.
On a different note…lol My Mom and I will go to lunch on occasion and her meals are always BAD. But she is a twig and barely puts a dent in her plate. I ignore her meal choice, guess I need to do the same while out with friends too.
.-= tj´s last blog ..Weigh In Results… =-.
I don’t think I normally say anything but then I rarely pay attention to what goes into food, which is one of my problems.
.-= Robin´s last blog ..Dumbfood =-.
Most of the time I just stand in awe and don’t say anything. I never know how to approach that.
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..Monday Mileage and Product Review + 10 Happys! =-.
My reaction to this bread, like so many things is to each his own. Who knows – it could have been her splurge day . As to her family requesting it and getting excited when she makes it, perhaps she only makes it for special occasions. What we see with others is one small glimpse into the now of their reality- not the whole picture. It is an easy assumption to believe many things from a single observation, but they are almost always incorrect.And then there is the theory from several low carb lifestyle folks that say if you are going to eat a high carb food, consume it with a lot of fat so that it has less of an impact on the body.
.-= Diane´s last blog ..An observation =-.
As a weight loss surgery patient, I can tell you that I struggle with this same issue — A LOT! I mean, I know what gastric bypass did for me in my life, and when I see MO people, I just want to scream at them that there is hope! They can get better! They can have a new life! They can get fit and healthy! B
ut then I realize that surgery is not the answer for everyone. Surgery does NOT cure obesity…it just gives people a fighting chance to lose weight — then keep it off through hard work, healthy eating, exercise and, yes, support (like your site). There are no guarantees in this life — not with surgery, not with dieting, not with anything. You just have to take it 1-day at a time and hope that you are strong enough to make more right decisions than wrong ones…
I just feel so guilty when I sit in judgment of someone who is eating crap, buying junk, over-consuming, not moving…doing all of things I used to do. All of the things I made excuses for. I think to myself that they are fat and lazy, and that’s not fair. I know that there is more to obesity than just what people eat, or how little they move. And I hated it when people blindly judged ME. They didn’t know my battles. They didn’t know my life. They didn’t know what was in my heart and mind. They just knew that I wore a size 28-30 and would be *even prettier* if I just *dropped a few pounds.*
I guess you really struck a chord with this one, Diane!
I feel like a schizophrenic. One part of me empathizes with the obese person and their battles, while another condemns them. I do it less than I used to, but still do it more than I should…
.-= Cari (aka Gastric Bypass Barbie)´s last blog ..The Unbearable Rightness of Being =-.
Totally something I would do, or wanted to have done, as well. It amazes me what people do to their food, yep. I’m always disgusted when patients tell me that they eat the rind of fat surrounding their T-bone or pork chop. Seriously!? Or eat liver — the ORGAN WHERE CHOLESTEROL IS STORED (personal disgust there — I know a lot of people eat liver). When I think back to my years of obesity and growing up, my mom used to use flour tortillas, real cheese, and CREAM CHEESE to make a quesadilla. Why was the cream cheese necessary? Just one of those things that sticks out so well in my mind! Now I joke with my mom that my weight should’ve never been a mystery!
It’s a tricky one. I try not to worry about what others are doing and focus on myself. Lead by example kind of thing.
.-= AndrewENZ´s last blog ..Weigh-in Monday #4 2010: The streak continues =-.
I actually haven’t been anywhere where I have seen someone prepare something but I have been to plenty of gatherings where the food was obviously loaded with calories and fat. I’m not judgmental about it, it just seems to be tradition at potlucks.
I have come to a place where I am not afraid of food. The knowledge I have gives me power to choose what is best for me.
So I politely skip over the stuff that I know will wreak havoc on my body and choose the things that will do my body justice. And if every single item is horrible, then I choose small portions of the lesser evils on the table.
~Kellie
.-= The Chubby Girl Diaries´s last blog ..The perfect pair of jeans =-.
I think you did the right thing in not saying anything. I would not have said anything and then left it alone if I didn’t want to eat it.
I’m learning in all areas of life to not jump to conclusions so quickly. I don’t always know the whole story behind a person’s actions…maybe this was a treat for her also or maybe it’s her way of life. But it is “her way of life” and not mine to worry about.
If I am asked how I’m losing weight I tell people that I’m eating less and moving more. If they want help I tell them about some blogs or books that have really helped me and let it go there. People will change when they want to change and if I start criticizing what or how much they eat I’m not going to do anything but push them away from ever wanting my help in the future.
That’s my two cents. Very interesting topic….
.-= Leah´s last blog ..One Of My Very Own =-.
That’s the very reason why I seldom eat out anymore, Diane. That’s the same kind of thing that happens back in the kitchen of most restaurants.
I don’t know what you could have said without hurting her feelings. I probably would have gone with the “Why don’t we just smear that butter all over our thighs and save a little time.” I’m not the most popular person at dinner parties, btw…
.-= Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit´s last blog ..Confush*t Say… =-.
I used to be really bad with this when I was obsessed with dieting, food, etc.
now that I am trying to work on less obsession and more doing, I try to not pay attention to what people eat and drink, and really focus on the conversation. Not always doable but I’m getting there!
.-= rebecca @ durch dick und duenn´s last blog ..Success! =-.
Diane, I just had to come back and say that this very scenario is why I don’t post my food intake on my blog. I know people would critique my choices, because they aren’t “clean” or “healthy” a lot of the time.
For example Monday night I made a dish for dinner with bacon and alfredo sauce in the recipe. Someone would read that and instantly think, “That’s why you’re not losing as much weight and as fast as fruits-and-veggies-with-lean-meats only lady!!!!” What they wouldn’t notice is that I only had one small serving with a salad on the side. And when I didn’t eat the rest of the evening because I was full I felt very good about my choice of meal and the progress I was making in eating a smaller portion.
No I don’t think I should tell other people how to prepare their food. We’re all adults and we all know what is healthy and what not. Asking if one bread could be without the butter would have been a good idea though.
.-= Fran´s last blog ..A day in my life: Wednesday January 27th 2010 =-.
Wow, that’s a tough situation. I’d probably do the same as you and not say anything because I would be afraid to hurt her feelings. Most of us can relate to that kind of food since that’s what got us in the weight troubles we’ve been in.
I think it’s wonderful though that you thought before you said anything to her; and afterward you realized how you could have maybe said things in a nice, helpful way.
.-= Anonymous Fat Girl´s last blog ..I’m smiling & it was grilled tilapia for dinner =-.
I used to judge people all the time and kind of tought “That’s why they are fat.” But then I started suggesting alternatives and sharing ideas as friends instead of either avoiding it or criticizing it. I found that people were more open to the suggestion when I came at it from that angle than the other.
.-= Cynthia (It All Changes)´s last blog ..What Goes Up… =-.
I may think something mentally, but I will NEVER say anything out loud. It is not my place and I hate it when people comment on the vegan food I am eating.
Maybe this woman was making the bread as a special occasion treat! We do have unhealthy snacks from time to time!
I loved this post Diane – even before I became diabetic, calories/fat/carbs are just in my brain, I can’t help it.
I work with a woman who is borderline morbid obese. She always comments when I make stirfry’s at lunch about how healthy I eat. One such occassion she came in as I was making my lunch and said “Biz, you’ll be so proud of me – I am making a healthy lunch!”
She proceeded to cut a small tomato, diced up one pound (yes you read that correctly – 16 ounces) of mozzarella cheese and poured in Paul Newman’s All Fat Balsamic Dressing over the top – my guess was about 3/4 of a cup.
She walked away so happy, and my mouth was on the floor – I think I calculated her “healthy” salad as around 1600 calories and 48 grams of fat.
Some people care, some don’t is how I look at it. Had she asked me to tell her if was healthy or not, I probably would have set her straight.
But it isn’t hard to judge what others eat!
(aren’t you glad I can type 120+ wpm?!)
.-= Biz´s last blog ..Insonmnia =-.
I’m always counting calories in my head as well, but I’d NEVER say anything to anyone else. I realize that the meals I share with friends are too rare to really be that strict now that I’m at a healthy weight. If it looks fattening, I’ll have a little nibble or skip it and move on.
Biz, people say that to me all the time. Look I’m eating healthy, it’s a salad! …yeah, but with fried chicken and ranch and bacon and fried onions and cheese and gobs of full fat dressing…sigh…
.-= Quix´s last blog ..Spoiled Brat Syndrome =-.
This is a difficult situation. I think that most people know what is good or bad for them, but for one reason or another, they aren’t in a good place in their lives to take on the challenge to eat better. No matter what anyone says to them, it won’t make a difference. One thing I know is that in the past, when I would make bad food choices, I sometimes felt that people were watching me and judging me. I even overheard my mother in law talking to a friend about how much I was eating! This only made me want to eat more.
.-= Carla´s last blog ..Feeling fit =-.
I always let it go unless someone specifically asks me. Just like I don’t want to judge what people are eating or have in their shopping carts.
You never know where someone is in their journey. Maybe a high fat meal you see them eating is actually one splurge. Or maybe what they are eating is less than they normally would eat as they work their way down towards eating healthy. Or maybe they don’t care. It’s not any of my business, really. I can only control what goes into my own mouth.
I think it is just as annoying for someone to comment on how horrible you are eating as it is to get razzed for healthy eating.
.-= Lori (Finding Radiance)´s last blog ..Cruising food plans =-.
I think I would have kept quiet too. It is so easy to offend people, and I try to be sensitive and non judgemental. When I am in other folks homes I try to be respectful and usually take a small portion of something offered. I like the idea of bringing a healthy snack or dish to our friends.
.-= Kat´s last blog ..another crazy busy day! =-.
I might have a mental OMG! like you, but I will never say anything. Neither will I eat any. If asked, I just tell them I am lactose intolerant (which I am mildly, but I can eat some cheese). Usually at gatherings, I bring a veggies platter or a salad, just so I can have something to eat.
.-= asithi´s last blog ..On to a Bigger and Brighter Future =-.