It’s funny, but as I gained weight slowly over the years, none of my friends ever commented on the increase in my size. No one ever said, “Diane, that weight gain looks good on you!” Or, “I sure wish I could wear a size 24 pair of pants!” And definitely no one said, “I hope I look like you one day!” No, my friends and family were polite, encouraging and often pretended like my weight was the imaginary elephant in the room. You know – the one everyone knows is there, but no one mentions.
Living as an obese person was a challenge physically, socially and emotionally. The social aspect is possibly one of the least talked about of the three. As my weight ballooned, I felt more and more shunned by friends and acquaintances. I know that some of them were embarrassed by my weight, and slowly those friendships fell by the wayside, probably as much by my desire as theirs.
However, as I lost weight and began to look more average in size, there were some very funny situations that arose. One week day, when the kids were all at friend’s houses playing, John and I went to lunch at our favorite Mexican restaurant. Walking into the cool restaurant, John noticed a table full of his former co-workers. We walked over to their table and John chatted with them for a moment. I knew all of the people at the table, but no one spoke to me. I just stood there, waiting for John to finish his conversation. We went on to sit at our table and enjoyed our date time. Later that afternoon, upon returning to work, John got a phone call from one of his former co-workers. She told John that when he and I left their table, the table erupted with speculation over who John was having an affair with, and did anyone think they should call me and let me know! Brenda was the only one who had seen me during the weight loss process, and quickly set the record straight. John couldn’t believe that his coworkers would think he would have an affair, or that they failed to recognize me. It made me feel good that no one associated the obese size 28 woman they all previously knew with the woman John was having lunch with.
Another awkward situation occurred repeatedly after I had reached my goal. The first time was in the grocery store. As I was walking down the aisle, I saw an acquaintance coming towards me. As we neared each other, I said, “Hi, Kathy.” She looked blankly at me, her face showing no signs of recognition. I hastily explained, “Remember me, it’s Diane from church.” Amazement and astonishment registered on her face before she quickly recovered. The conversation that followed was always the same – “How, How, How?!” Once we parted company, I could sense her staring after me. I knew how she felt, for I often felt astonishment when I looked in the mirror.
This particular episode occurred time after time, with varying characters and questions. The more it happened, the more I realized that I wasn’t heavy anymore, nor did I remotely resemble the overweight, lumbering friend people previously knew. It was a great feeling!
These kinds of non-scale victories are a wonderful side effect of getting healthier and more fit. No matter where you are in your journey I’d wager that you’ve had a non-scale victory or two! What’s one that makes you smile when you think about it? Diane
I just had a similar one where my husband’s co-worker was wondering if he had a woman on the side (granted she had only met me once before). Too funny!
.-= 266´s last blog ..Ebb And Flow =-.
I can’t believe they didn’t recognize you, what a crazy story!
.-= Lauren @ Eater not a runner´s last blog ..fun day in the bean! =-.
Love the Restaurant story! Made me laugh! Good for you!
I love this post. Those are really funny stories. I can’t wait to have things like that happen to me! It’s really too bad that some of your friends stopped associating with you probably beause of your weight. It’s really annoying how people judge one another based on their size.
.-= Alissa´s last blog ..Official Weigh In Day =-.
That is the best kind of victory Diane! Love it!!!!!!!!!
.-= Jody – Fit at 52´s last blog ..Slimmer Legs….How to Slim Down =-.
Love the story
My friend just came back from Brazil and she said she could not believe the changes since she has been gone for two months!
.-= Staci´s last blog ..Contemplation =-.
I LOVE the friends, family, co-workers that are seriously concerned that I’ve lost too much weight and need to stop now. LOL Some of them are even the family members who USED to warn me that I was flirting, dangerously, with diabetes. Like now I’m gonna turn anorexic? Hardly. LOL
Congrats; you ARE amazing, and welcome back!
.-= Sunny´s last blog ..Are You Stuck, Tilting at Windmills? =-.
Something to look forward to. I look for those non scale victories but none so dramatic as yours yet.
.-= Jules – Big Girl Bombshell´s last blog ..Wonder-Full Man Wednesday with Slimmin Sam =-.
Sometimes reactions from people that you haven’t seen in awhile can keep you going for weeks! I love this story!
.-= Joanna Sutter´s last blog ..Brownie Points =-.
Great story
It’s amazing to see the way people react to weight loss…
That’s too funny! Those people are the best to measure by since it’s sometimes hard for people who see us on a day to day basis to notice a change.
One of my cousins said “Oh my God, look at your face.” I braced myself thinking that she was getting ready to level a criticism but she said, “It’s getting smaller and smaller.”
When the scale has been stuck, other people have commented that I’m shrinking so it gives me confidence that I’m doing something right even when the scale is not moving.
.-= ‘Drea´s last blog ..The Last Minute That Just Elapsed =-.
Those are amazing victories for sure…wonderful!!
.-= Marcelle´s last blog ..One Year’s Old =-.
Diane, wow that’s a great post! It’s unbelievable that you had to go through that kind of treatment of people. I’m just glad you’re healthy and happy. That’s the main thing. Non-scale victories are just as sweet. I never was obese but I have struggled maintaining a fit weight which thank God I’m at right now. I love when the clothes fit perfectly. I love when people are like you look great, have you lost weight? Confidence gain with social settings is great victory as well. Loving yourself again and loving the way you look is your victory. It’s not about impressing others, it’s about you!
Jen
I loved this!! Thank you for sharing it! I am hoping too as the weight comes off and I see friends I have not seen in a while I will have that same reaction
.-= Trish @IamSucceeding´s last blog ..A Great Adventure =-.
We had this happen on more than a few occasions as I shed my 170 pounds, but fortunately, we did keep a sense of humor about it. Heck, there were times I “went with it” just to see if it would get back to the “real me.” Never did…darnit. But, seriously, one of the instances I vividly recall happened one evening when I shouted “Hello!” and waved to my neighbor who lives 2-doors down. She stood there for a minute, not responding…and then she tentatively said, “I’m sorry…who ARE you? Do I KNOW you?” She was obviously chagrined! I said, “It’s me! CARI!” Well, she fell all over herself to apologize (I don’t know why she had to apologize, but you know…) so I walked over to stand alongside her. She was positively floored and effused, “Oh my goodness! I can’t believe it’s YOU! Your silhouette doesn’t match the ‘you’ I know…but your voice is familiar! I absolutely don’t recognize you!” Another occasion happened when I waved to another neighbor (this one from across the street) and she said, “My GOD, Cari! Is that YOUUUUU? I know your voice, but your shape doesn’t match the you I know! You look fabulous!” Really fun moments that keep you buoyed on your weight loss journey. Now…if I could experience a few of those this week…hmmmm….
.-= Cari (aka Gastric Bypass Barbie)´s last blog ..WLS VEGAS M&G: Another Amazing Opportunity =-.
Those little non scale victories were huge. I loved when people didn’t even recognize me.
.-= Cynthia (It All Changes)´s last blog ..Scar-y =-.
One of the biggest questions I get from people (and the one I always wait to hear cause I know it’s coming) is “How did you do it?”. And everytime I answer with ‘simple, I eat right and I exersice’ I get the same reaction of a let down on their face. I think everyone is waiting to hear me say “just take this simple pill and eat everything you want!”
I love your storys of your unscale victory!!
.-= Brenda´s last blog ..For the love of Artichokes =-.
I haven’t lost as much weight as to look unrecognizable (I look like people who haven’t seen me in a few years remember me looking!) but I did have a great NSV when I was down at funeral #1.
When I walked into the funeral home for my grandmother’s service, pretty much my entire family was already there. And instead of greeting me with a “so glad you could make it, we miss her too” or a more somber air, every SINGLE member of my family by the door jaw dropped and started complimenting me on how great I looked, and how skinny I was (which, as an obese woman, I am obviously NOT! But comparatively I looked pretty cute
. It felt so amazing to get those compliments, and really brightened my otherwise slightly-somber day.
NSV’s honestly mean more to me than scale victories, because they are what change my life (not a number). They represent shrinking in real time, or a new activity with family. They are the real achievements changing my life, not an intangible that nobody sees but me. Go NSVs!
.-= Taryl´s last blog ..My most recent pre-pregnancy(ish) pictures =-.
That’s funny that people didn’t recognize you after losing weight.
I think NSV have to be pointed out during the process to keep you motivated!
The one time in my life I had lost down to my goal weight (at the time I weighed 125) I was seen with my nephew in public. He is 20 years younger than I am. Everyone was asking his parents who the girl was with Travis.
I took it to be quite a compliment!
The restaurant story is funny!
I’ve had a few NSV’s during my journey so far – they are the glue that keeps me together, you know? A number on the scale is arbitrary, but when I can fit into clothes that I haven’t worn in years, or when I make great decisions for my meals – then I know that I’m really doing it!
.-= Jenn @ Watch My Butt Shrink!´s last blog ..The South Beach Diet: Phase I – Complete! =-.
My biggest NSV has been to be able to handle a stressful situation without my usual sugar crutch.
.-= JourneyBeyondSurvival´s last blog ..Scheduling =-.
Not having to shop the plus sizes!
.-= Nicole, RD´s last blog ..Food Reviews and Amy’s Coupon Giveaway! =-.
I love those moments!
.-= AndrewENZ´s last blog ..Mad dogs and Englishmen =-.
New to your blog! LOVE IT! Enjoyed reading a bit about your journey…I was especially encouraged about your maintaining so long and the ability to do this through & after pregnancy! My dh and I would love a big family, so it was SO encouraging to read that it CAN be done! We have 4 little ones so far!
My favorite NSV is fitting into smaller clothing…especially moving beyond wearing maternity stuff even when NOT pregnant!
Great post!
when all the boys who never gave me the time of day do a double take.
.-= Michelle@Eatingjourney´s last blog ..Milkshakes =-.
Seeing my grandparents after a couple years of not seeing them, after I’d lost 20 lbs and “become healthy”: my grandpa just stared at me in astonishment with PRIDE all over his face as he told me that I looked amazing. The next year I visited them again, and one of the first things he said (with that same expression on his face) was that I hadn’t gained an ounce. The really great part about it was that HE too was getting healthy at the same time as me, and he’d lost a considerable amount of weight. There was something so BONDING about it all, the fact that even though we don’t see each other very often, we had gone through a similar experience, and we really understood just how important it all was (and is!).
.-= Sagan´s last blog ..Grocery Shopping, “Living Healthy in the Real World” Style =-.
Dude…I would LOVE for people to think I was a mistress, lol…how exciting!
.-= tammy ortagus´s last blog ..B*tch Cakes Rocks! =-.
I love it when people notice the loss. It is huge for me. Unfortunately it has a downside because when I see people I haven’t seen in awhile and they DON’T say something, I feel bad….crap.
.-= Mackattack (Beth)´s last blog ..dbar-dessert bar =-.
Great stories! I love it when people tell me I look so much younger! A gate guard at the military base did a double take at my birth date on my ID and told me I didn’t look a day over 30. SWEET! (I’m 49!)
And shopping for clothes is definitely more fun!
.-= MamaBearJune´s last blog ..Please vote for us! =-.
This weekend will be full of NSV’s for me. We are planning a trip to the pool and rollerskating and maybe even cross country skiing. While I did all those things before losing weight, they will be easier and I might even feel cute skating.
Wow, that was quite the NSV! It is funny and sad at the same time that they didn’t recognize you at all.
I’m sure I will have a NSV this weekend, too. I’ll see one of my friends I haven’t seen since October when I was about 15 lbs heavier than I am now. I know she will comment on my weight since she is a pretty weight conscious person. Do they make size 00? If they do, I’m sure that is what she wears.
My own NSV was when I tried on some clothes last night to see if they fit. They did! Not as well as they should, but I’ll take it. Seriously, trying on my jeans and not having them feel like they are about to cut me in half is a great feeling.
.-= Stacy´s last blog ..Cold =-.
I love clipping coupons! I save approx. $50 a Month doing this! I suggest getting electric scissors when cutting coupons in bulk!
What a great NSV ! I always used to hate running into my John’s co-workers , I felt embarressed for him . I went out for a walk a couple of days ago and stopped to talk to a neighbour who was shoveling snow. Later on his wife phoned and told me he had no idea who I was. He hadn’t seen me all winter and with 94lbs gone he couldn’t recognize me. It was a great feeling.