I’ve talked before about friends who aren’t supportive of weight loss efforts, and how relationships can change for the worst after one person in the relationship makes a change in their appearance and lifestyle.
I realized that although that can be reality, there is another type of friend that I wanted to applaud, and that’s the friend who stays true to the relationship even in the midst of turmoil.
I had a friend like that during my time of obesity. I had a friend who stuck with me through weight gain, pregnancy, more weight gain, and finally weight loss. She saw me on both sides of my weight journey and her attitude and opinion of me never wavered. Her name is Joy. (She is on the far right in case you were wondering. I seemed to always put bows on my head when I was heavy. I don’t know why.)
I appreciated her support and friendship more than she will ever know. She never made me feel bad when I needed to sit down at the mall. She never said anything about my homemade jumpers, and was just my friend.
When I started losing weight she was one of the biggest cheerleaders I had. She noticed every new item of clothing I wore and even complimented me on my new healthier food choices. When we went out to eat she never encouraged me to eat more than I wanted to eat, rather she and I ate similarly (for a change!)
It’s sometimes tempting for me to focus on the friends who weren’t nice and said mean things – or said nothing at all to the exclusion of applauding those friends who were consistently there and unchanging.
I think it’s so important to surround ourselves with people who are positive and life affirming. It’s easy to get sucked into the vortex of unhealthy living when all your friends are “doing it” too. Supportive people who genuinely care for you and don’t judge you regardless of your size are treasures.
Am I recommending you ditch your unsupportive friends? Not necessarily, although they may ditch themselves. But rather I would like to encourage you to use this day as:
That’s right – email, call, or mail a letter to a friend of yours who is supportive of you in your life journey. They will be glad you did, and so will you!
Who is your most supportive friend? Will you tell them thanks? Diane
By the way – I did email Joy and tell her thank you!
My most supportive friend is my best friend Cathy. We have been fast friends since 1993. Cathy loved and supported me no matter what my weight or life circumstances were she was my fan when I was losing the weight with the go girl! She ran my first 5k with me! Always kind and supportive no matter what and she worked out way before I did and way before it became “cool” to do so. I will email her today and say thanks. Great idea!
.-= Susan´s last blog ..If Its Not Broke Don’t Fix It! =-.
I have several supportive friends, which makes me lucky I know. I am very grateful for them and let them know on a regular basis
.-= Diana´s last blog ..Short and sweet. =-.
My most supportive friend is my husband. We were good friends for a few years before we became a couple, and he is more than simply my husband- he is the second half of my soul. He has been fully supportive of me at my highest ever weight (315), my weight loss, through our struggles with infertility, pregnancy, stillbirth, the challenges of autism and our current weight loss journey ( as well as a thousand other events in life good and bad). He has never criticized me, supports and complements all of my efforts with diet and exercise, complements every move I make towards any form of improvement and loves me deeply when I stumble, fail and slip up. He is my love, my best friend, my inspiration, my voice of reason, my cheerleader, my Holy Fool, my councilor, my adviser and my great big reality check when I need one. Thanks for the reminder- i am going to have to think of a way to say thanks to him for all this today !
.-= Diane´s last blog ..Arthritis, tragic abs and up a creek with a flimsy paddle =-.
Great idea Diane!
.-= John´s last blog ..Gait Analysis and Shoe Shopping =-.
Wonderful how there is always that someone who sticks by you without making you feel uncomfortable..and when they a skinny friend I think that says a lot.
I had friends who stuck by me as I gained weight, but so where they…or they were already over weight and would tell me that this diet business was a waste of time, and at the time I agreed with them…
I found in general most never supported..but yes there is always one who does.
I’m glad you had JOY..
I will have to thank my mom and husband for their support! My husband has never had weight problems or eating problems, so he had a hard time understanding what I was going through, but he always tried to encourage me and support me. And my mom is always by my side no matter what!
.-= Carla´s last blog ..Contemplating the next decade =-.
Love this!
.-= Lauren @ Eater not a runner´s last blog ..headache-y =-.
Thank YOU Diane! I consider you a friend & am grateful for your blog & you being you!
I have a SUPER supportive hubby & a couple friends that stick with me thru my craziness along with the group of friends in my reunion pic. The THX will be out loud rather than thru hugs too!
Love the post!
.-= Jody – Fit at 52´s last blog ..The Workout – Artistic Creation! =-.
Lovely post, Diane! I was blessed to have many helpful supporters, and I’ve thanked them all. Repeatedly. A couple have said, “Enough already!”
.-= Cammy@TippyToeDiet´s last blog ..Savor: Mindful Eating, Mindful Life (Book Review) =-.
Every so often I will prescribe to a client that “this” or “that” is the most important element of a fitness agenda. What I always go back to in the end, is that there really is no one element more important than another. In weight-loss, success is the sum of many conditions. That said, it is the support system which is often among the primary elements of success. Support system starts with friends; one or two key people with which all can be shared along the way.
What amazes me most Diane, is your ability to stay connected with something that is now years in your past. Nice job.
.-= Emergefit´s last blog ..Some Mixed Thoughts On Larger Purpose, Food Technology, Prejudice, And Change… =-.
I only wish I had the support you had. Many people including my very own family think they are supporters and some days they are, but for the most part are enablers. I think that the only true support I get is from blogging buddies. While I truly do appreciate the support from them it almost feels weird. I don’t know these people. I still find it kind of strange chatting with people from all around the world and I don’t really know them. Anyway, my thanks is to my blogging friends, especially Tammy.
Great post and great reminder!
.-= Andrea@WellnessNotes´s last blog ..Reasons to Smile =-.
I am realizing just how many supportive people I have in my life. My best friend, Rhonda, has been through it all with me, since 2nd grade. I will call her today but while I am at it.
THANK YOU DIANE FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT AND ENCOURAGEMENT…VIRTUAL, BLOGSPHERE FRIENDS can sometimes be just as supportive, or more so, than those we see everyday…… THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart!
.-= Jules – Big Girl Bombshell´s last blog ..Walking on a Different Street =-.
What a great friend Joy is — sounds like she’s living up to her name.
I read this book called the Friendship Factor and the author said that people would ask him his secret re: his friendships.
He said that he was perplexed by the attention and said that all he did was accept people unconditionally.
.-= ‘Drea´s last blog ..More Than Sportsmanship =-.
Great post and I just thanked my best friend, who happens to be my boyfriend, yesterday.
He loved me and supported me 70 pounds ago and always helped me through my battles- THROUGH THICK & THIN! PUN INTENDED! LOL 
=-.
.-= tj´s last blog ..Granola, Sunshine, & Feeling Better!
When I was at my heaviest I had few friends and none of them were very close. But this was more my fault because I was so unhappy and didn’t want to socialize. My family was critical of my weight gain telling me I looked pregnant, or I’d be so much prettier if I just loss weight.
Today, I understand myself better. I have a few dear, dear friends who I love to be with. I also have forgiven my family. And consequently I am happy.
Supportive friends ROCK. There’s nothing better than having people on your side pulling for you to succeed. I’m so grateful to my mom, sis and good friends who have supported me on my journey – some even becoming blog readers to keep on supporting!
.-= fittingbackin´s last blog ..C25K Milestone, Wedding, Out with Friends =-.
Loved reading this post! It is funny how you tend to remember the negative more than the positive?!
I had a friend when I was at my heaviest – around 210 pounds. We went to a bar one night, and I excused myself to go the bathroom – when I was nearing our table, I heard her tell someone “I only hang out with Biz because it makes me feel skinny!”
Needless to say, she was not my friend – but I do have two friends who have stuck by me since THIRD grade!
.-= Biz´s last blog ..Monday already? =-.
Your post really shows how important it is to have friends like these! When the going gets tough, a kind word or a smile from a good friend can be all you need to empower you to succeed and reach for your goals!
I have three best friends that have been very supportive. I do thank them every so often for their support and maybe I’ll email them again soon.
You’re right, it’s good to be thankful for an recognize the friends who love us through “thick and thin’.
.-= Leah´s last blog ..Opportunity =-.
What an awesome idea
I think I will do this on my blog, as well, but for now, I will simply tell you that her name is JAN, and she is the most wonderful friend you could ever hope to have. She has truly seen me through thick, thicker and thin, and has always loved me and championed me, no matter what size I was. We used to call ourselves “Bunny Peeps” because when we’d sit together on a small couch, we’d smash together like those marshmallow easter treats and have to stand up in unison 
She is still battling obesity, and I am encouraging her every way I can (for her health), but I love her no matter what size she is. I love her because she “gets” me (and likes me anyway 
.-= Cari (aka Gastric Bypass Barbie)´s last blog ..Food Addiction: Bingeing after WLS =-.
this is such a nice post and a wonderful reminder!
i’ve been fortunate to have had a few friends who have been great cheerleaders for me through my recovery from my eating disorder. i will thank them today.
.-= love2eatinpa´s last blog ..Binge-Free Bracelet =-.
What a sweet post Diane! It sure is rare to find supportive and genuine friends..you are very lucky! I plan on thanking my close friend who has always been there for me through good and bad today (even tho I’m a day late
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Excellent post. You are such an inspiration. THANK YOU!