It’s is a hard journey isn’t it? Not all the time of course. I haven’t met a single person who has said that their journey to lose weight and get more healthy has always been easy. Of course there are varying degrees of ease with which people lose weight, but overall, the journey isn’t always a “walk in the park.”
It doesn’t matter how much weight you have to lose, there are inevitably hard times. I know there were for me. I struggled with:
♦emotional issues
♦times I didn’t feel like exercising
♦feeling left out when other people were pigging out
♦weight loss burnout
♦frustration over perceived expectations
♦complacency
Quite frankly there were several times during the 14 months that it took me to lose all my weight where I just wanted to say, “That’s it. I can’t do this anymore.” But I never gave up and am so glad that I persevered and finished up losing all my weight.
I remember one time in particular where John and I had been to a church dessert function. People in our church could make good desserts! I had lost about 100 pounds at this point and was feeling pretty good about how I looked in comparison to where I had started. At the dessert party I looked over the tables and didn’t see anything I had to have. I saw a lot of things I would have eaten in the past, but nothing I’d be sad to do without. At the same time though, I remember feeling a little frustrated that I couldn’t just fill my plate with cupcakes, brownies, and cake like everyone else seemed to be doing. NO, I had to stand here holding my water cup while other people wiped chocolate from their faces.
After we got home that night I thought about how I felt and realized that even though it was a little frustrating to not be stuffing my face with desserts, it was also a little bit of a victory. In the past I would have been the one going back to the tables for seconds or thirds. I would have had to be careful sitting in chairs so I didn’t break them. And I would have gone home feeling guilty.
When times get hard for you, and you feel like you are alone on this journey, I’d encourage you to remember where you came from. Remember all the little victories you have had over the course of your weight loss experience. And remember that you are worth every effort it takes to get healthy – no matter how hard it is.
Question: How do you keep going when you start to feel like it’s just too hard? Diane
this is a really lovely post.
I do best when my life is simple and I can keep my focus and my priorities in sight.
.-= vickie´s last blog ..Bit of talk (traps of) bread/cookies/Willy Nilly Food – be forewarned. BUT might be as accurate Maintenance Realities Post as I have ever written =-.
You make a good point that it’s important to consider the victories. I’m going through a tough time right now for whatever reason and I need to make sure I don’t get discouraged.
.-= Alissa´s last blog ..Weekend in Review =-.
I think it’s good to visualize your goal. I want to be fit and confident, so that’s my goal. So I have to make these little “sacrifices” which aren’t sacrifices at all if you think about it, because they put me closer to my goal and elevate my self esteem.
.-= Diana´s last blog ..Sunday breakfast =-.
I have found certain parts of this journey hard and frustrating, but never have I wanted to throw in the towel..I remember what being over weight felt like and never want to feel that again.
I remember what it felt like to be 197 wearing plus size clothes with thighs that rubbed together…that is how I keep going when the going gets hard. Plus over time I grew to love exercise that helps too, and now I prefer healthy food to unhealthy food.
.-= Susan´s last blog ..I Give You Roses Enjoy! =-.
When the going gets tough I remember my wake up moment, and consider what life would be like if I did not wake up
.-= Diane´s last blog ..Stress busting through boxing =-.
Many times in the past I didn’t! Thus my yo-yo years. This time I have just not let myself consider not being successful for life. My mindset is different. When I stumble I am mad at myself but unlike times in the past, I get back on plan and don’t let that stumble become something larger and longer. I have just told myself that I will succeed this time, no other option.
I love the saying “Dieting is hard. Being overweight is hard. Pick your hard.”
.-= Karen@WaistingTime´s last blog ..A Vacation from Dieting? =-.
This doesn’t have to do with weight loss, but this hits home because recently I’ve been feeling down about my knee pain. Just the other day I looked at how far I’ve come and it really helped me pick myself up and continue to fight.
.-= Tracey @ I’m Not Superhuman´s last blog ..10 Ways to Get Rid of a Headache =-.
I know exactly how you felt at that Dessert Function, remembering how you once would fill your plate with all those goodies. Been there! Today, when I hear that voice, I picture the Good Angel/Bad Angel whispering in my ears. I have to consciously turn the volume up on the Good Angel and down on the Bad!
I have found that difficult too, being at a get-together and feeling like the only one not pigging out! But when I feel discouraged I just remind myself that I never want to go back to binge eating and being addicted to sweets. It is such an awful feeling when you are out of control with food. That reminder usually keeps me going.
.-= Carla´s last blog ..Outdoor running vs. indoor running =-.
Many little victories add up to winning the battle for sure. It’s very hard to get that first one under your belt…I know it was several years before I fought, and won, temptation! I felt amazing that day. I even blogged about it and I didn’t have a weight loss blog at that time! I think I’ll remember that a bit more from now on!
.-= Debby´s last blog ..Taking a pound of flesh =-.
Diane, I remember the biggest frustration for me was that none of my friends had to watch what they ate… really ticked me off back then BUT I persevered! The results are what kept me going then.. now, it is how much I have accomplished & no need to ruin that for anything or anyone.
.-= Jody – Fit at 52´s last blog ..Push-Ups – All Kinds! Great Overall Body Work! =-.
Hmmm – how do I keep going? Well, I agree that it can get hard at times and it’s all too easy to get downhearted. So, I try to remind myself of all those things I hated about being obese (it’s quite a long list) and the poor health prospects which lay ahead of me when I was at my heaviest. That was probably the biggest factor in getting serious about weight loss, and it’s somewhere I just can’t go back to. So, for me it’s less about the victories and more about what I stand to lose if I let my weight get out of control again.
.-= Deniz´s last blog ..Feeling better after a good weekend and a rant =-.
Since I changed what I eat, I feel so satisfied and wonderful…it really hasn’t yet become difficult. BUT…your comment about potential chair breakage. Ouch. Let’s just say that is a good image for me to keep in mind if I ever do need a little extra motivation to keep going! Thanks for a great post!
How do I keep going? I have a strong support system in place and don’t let things get too out of hand before dealing with what’s going on. I work with an amazing nutritional health counselor who is my cheerleader. He gives unlimited text support, and has lost 140 lbs himself 11 years ago. His support and attitude and CAN DO attitude helps to keep me going..even when I feel stuck.
Funny, in this week’s (upcoming) column I talk a little about focusing, not on the goals and all the little positives, but focusing on the negatives. That is, putting effort into remembering the pain of failure, reflecting on the the place that you no longer wish to be. This was a supreme motivator to me as I lost my weight.
I will also say that you have just inspired me to dust off one I have been working on about the contradiction between church and food. This one always amazes me. It seems that many church functions are centered around food, and that most often they are the wrong foods.
Thanks Diane, as always.
.-= Emergefit´s last blog ..Nine Inch Nails; Discipline… =-.
Generally if I decide BEFOREHAND what I’ll do when faced with tons of food, then I’m okay. It’s if I don’t have time to “prepare” and decide how I’ll handle food that things go downhill. I have to sort of psych myself up to be able to say “no” to piles of goodies, or have a really good excuse ready for why I can’t eat them.
In get-togethers, it’s also useful to help the host out. If I keep myself busy, I don’t have time to think about the food. Definitely a good thing when trying to control weight!
.-= Sagan´s last blog ..How to figure out your own personal style =-.
One step at a time…
.-= Dr. J´s last blog ..Dr. J Sweat-Tests the Sony Water Resistant Walkman (Plus, You Can Win One) =-.
Your posts always seem so timely for me. It’s like you know what I’m going through and are writing specifically for me.
I’m having trouble staying on course now that the weight isn’t coming off as easily. I’m trying to celebrate small victories to keep myself motivated.
.-= 100 Pounds in a Year´s last blog ..Weigh-In Results =-.
Hi Ms. Diane
I was just thinking about this very very topic… how many many times I have felt like giving up, and have fallen flat on my face, gotten tired of ALL the exercise… but each time I made the choice to continue and press forward, it was amazing how my resolve has gotten stronger and stronger. REally kind of like a muscle. A muscle that had never been worked out, but each time I hit one of those walls, I know it was God and me pressing through, and saying NO, I am going to finish this race!
I have alot of bloggy friends that are hitting these walls… and it is the first wall in their new journey.. I am going to repost this and link it back to you on my blog. Very timely post, Diane!! So adore your heart and all that you share!
.-= Amy S.´s last blog ..Challenge COMPLETE!! =-.
Sometimes I feel like that too. Sometimes I allow myself to relax just a bit but the thought of returning to where I was, 70 pounds heavier, quickly brings me back to reality. I lived that unhealthy lifestyle for a long time. It is sometimes hard to change but it is worth it.
.-= Linda´s last blog ..What a week! =-.
♦feeling left out when other people were pigging out — you said, well, a mouthful.
It’s hard when people are rallying around the dessert but, in the end, I know that there are better choices. What keeps me going is knowing that I feel so much better and I have so much more clarity, peace and stamina than I’ve ever had before…
.-= ‘Drea´s last blog ..All I Really Need To Know I Learned While Rock Climbing =-.
During this entire journey, giving up has not crossed my mind long enough for me to seriously contemplate it. Going to parties and functions, I usually have a plan. This past weekend, it got away from me. But I’m back on plan this week and I feel positive about where I’m heading!
What is it about churches and food?!? The only saving grace I have in those situations is that people here in the Northeast rarely have time to bake home-made goodies, so the treats are store bought. I have NO interest in that. And I love that people — read: women — aren’t fretting about getting that dessert made in time for the service. They can just go to church with a clear head and a clear heart, ready to take it all in, and not be worrying about food.
.-= Nancy B. Kennedy´s last blog ..Writing and walking =-.
I like this thought – focusing on the little victories. The positive choices you made for the greater you! I’ve been giving in a lot more lately and have had a kind of “whatever” attitude – I really want to step it up and get more victories!!
.-= fittingbackin´s last blog ..Book Review, Movie Reviews, Product Review =-.
I live by the motto: “Failure is not an option… just a vaguely unsettling possibility.” I call on all my memories of just how much I hated who I was and how I felt about myself and use those feelings to drive my current behavior. As long as you can keep that understanding about cause and effect in the back of your mind, it’s not that difficult to stay on the path.
.-= Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit´s last blog ..3 Simple Steps =-.
We are worth it, you are so right!
.-= LAF´s last blog ..Holding my own =-.
I look to people like you for inspiration when it gets really hard. It really helps so thank you!!
I read about others journeys along the same path.
.-= Trish @IamSucceeding´s last blog ..No Excuses, Week 4? =-.
To keep going I usually look at old pictures or miraculously one of my kids makes some kind of healthy choice or wants to go for a “run” and I realize that I’m making a difference in their lives too.
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..Spagetti Dogs and Pimp My Blog =-.
I get a lot of strength knowing I can “turn off” once in a while when I need to. A perfect example is this past February when I went to go visit a girl friend. We partied hard that weekend and I approached food with reckless abandon (ahem, I may have consumed 1/3 of an ice cream cake). A bit over the top yes, but I never felt deprived. And when I came home, I was more than happy to get back into my healthy eating habits
So, I may skip out on church desserts, but I let loose every so often to keep feeling sane!
.-= Susan´s last blog ..Confessions of a Part-Time Blogger =-.
I just put my head down and keep going. Doesn’t mean I like it, but if I don’t, I will slide back to where I was. The knowledge that it could happen is enough to scare me to be determined no matter how tired of it I am.
.-= Lori (Finding Radiance)´s last blog ..Just breathe =-.
I just said this to someone I know who it trying to lose weight – it IS worth it!
.-= 266´s last blog ..Hip Hop =-.
I go for a run.
.-= AndrewENZ´s last blog ..Who’s worried about cholesterol? =-.
Lately I’ve been looking for some before pictures to remind myself how far I’ve come. I don’t have many because I didn’t allow pictures for many years. I’m glad I have a few at least to remind me how far I’ve come and how much I don’t want to go back.
.-= Sandi´s last blog .. =-.
This is a great post!
Recently, I went through a rough patch with my journey.
We moved into our very first home. While I was excited, it put me off of my routine weight-loss wise. It took me a month to figure things out and get back on track. The ONE thing I knew… is that I didn’t want to give up. I wanted to commit to getting healthier even if I was only halfheartedly into it at that moment.
One of my motivations came from the shopping trips I went on with friends. I realized more than ever that this was one part of my life (among others) that I was tired of sitting out on. I want CHOICES for clothes and stores.
But from where I am sitting now, I have renewed my commitment to myself and am back on track!
Thank you for reminding us that it isn’t always easy but we do have the ability to put ourselves back on track during the hard parts!
~Kellie
.-= The Chubby Girl Diaries´s last blog ..Fat girl on a bike and epiphanies =-.
When it gets to hard I sometimes have to take a step back. I remember what is was like before and how much better I feel now. And then I make myself a treat that I will enjoy and won’t make me feel horrible after I eat it. I do what I love and not what people expect of me.
.-= Cynthia (It All Changes)´s last blog ..Little Girl Dreams + Confession =-.
The biggest thing getting me through hard times this time around is the fact I blew a 75 and 86 lbs weight loss in the last 7 years. This really helps me realize I can’t let this hard work go to waste like last time!
.-= John´s last blog ..Weekly Weigh In#8 =-.
I attended a conference last weekend with lots of food. Most people seemed to overindulge for three days straight. In the past, I would have done the same. When I reflected on the conference, I realized that I had a great time without the food. I reconnected with people and felt great and not uncomfortably stuffed at the end of the day. And that feeling is so much better than any of the food could have possibly tasted!
.-= Andrea@WellnessNotes´s last blog ..Peer Pressure: How Influenced Are You By Others? =-.
Great post! It sure can be hard to stick to a weight loss program but it’s always best in the long run. I find that if the going gets tough, visualizing where you want to be is a great tool to keep up the motivation and empower you to succeed!
I found when it got too hard, like not just “ugh I don’t want to work out today” but having mental breakdowns, I would just coast a bit. Take a little break. Enjoy a meal of whatever I wanted, and take the night off exercising. Then, I’d remind myself that I could do that more often when I was at my goal if I wanted. That was usually enough to keep me focused and eyes on the prize.
.-= Quix´s last blog ..Must Be Misnumbered =-.
One of my favorite statements from the SparkPeople.com message boards about this theme:
“Being fat is hard.
Losing weight is hard.
Choose your hard!”
Not that I don’t have my struggles, but this statement helps me to put it into perspective and gives me a chance to take a deep breath, re-group and make the right choice!
Don
I just make sure I’m never deprived. If I felt like I was missing out I would make sure to have “a” cookie or go home and have “a” pudding cup or “a” sugar free popsicle. “A” as in one, singular. That way you don’t have those sweet tooth cravings and accidentally binge next time your around sweets.
.-= Rebecca @ How the Cookies Crumble´s last blog ..TGIF =-.
Hey there! I agree with you. I count up the little victories and try to not let myself get down. I used to restrict my eating a lot and I would always binge because I wasn’t giving my body enough food. I now make sure I eat lots of veggies and a carb, fat and protein at each meal!!
.-= Jocelyn @ Peace.Love.Nutrition´s last blog ..Holistic Lifestyle =-.
Honestly, I only felt deprived, or that it was just too hard to resist, once during my loss phase. I think that’s because a) I was loving the results I was seeing, and b) I have so many built-in splurges (even tiny ones) that I’m okay with saying, ‘no thanks’. Not that I often say that, since I’ve mastered the art of the sliver.
.-= Cammy@TippyToeDiet´s last blog ..Breaking News!! =-.
First of all Congratulations on your weight loss, you look great! I am so glad I came across your blog…and I put it in my favorites so I can read about your journey.
I don’t have as much to lose as you but I still get discouraged and stressed out on things, including not losing weight every week. I have trouble getting enough protein, folate and fiber so I’m looking forward to reading your plan
Colette
Unfortunately the victories over “when it gets too hard” aren’t very many that I can think of right now. I tend to give in, even if just a little bit – like when I’m craving chocolate. I don’t eat a vegetable and tell myself to stop wanting the sweet, but instead I have a little bit of the chocolate. If I end up eating too much, I learn from that and try to do better next time.
Maybe that’s how I handle “hard” situations. hhm…
Very good post!
) =-.
.-= Leah´s last blog ..Monday Inspiration (I hope)
I love posts like this that just remind me to appreciate how far I’ve come, and remember where I’ve been.
And it is SO not easy, but when I want to give up, I just remember what is what like to be where I used to be, and look in the mirror and see how far I’ve come.
Hope
.-= Hope @ Hope’s Journey´s last blog ..First Ever Video Post: Clarification =-.
Gosh, that’s a tough one. I generally just try to refocus on the prize – a healthy, fulfilling life. Food is okay in moderation, but there has to be a limit where I say “this ceases to be worth it, given what it will cost me in progress, self esteem, etc… ” and I have to make that a line I wont cross.
When I get tired of my life, thats prayer time. A sure sign I need to get my priorities straight. But unlike a lot of dieters, I think, I am careful to never let myself feel like a failure, because I have to persist at this for the rest of my life. So by adopting moderation and some accountability, I can’t ever truly fail because every choice is another chance to do better and make myself proud. It’s comforting, during a struggle, to know that might be having a setback but it is NEVER the end
.-= Taryl´s last blog ..Quickie! =-.
You are such an inspiration. I have been fighting the same 15 pounds for 20 years and you took off and kept off so much weight in 14 months. All of these suggestions have been good but I think what I need to remember is that I am addicted to sweets and don’t control myself well when I take that one bite. I try to remember to eat only the really good stuff, nothing mediocre. I like the ideas of making a plan and helping the hostess. I have no problem avoiding alcohol at a party. I am not even tempted. I think I need to treat the desserts the same way a recovering alcoholic would a drink – don’t take the first one.