Being overweight wasn’t just hard on me, but it was also hard on my family. I was often tired, and lacked energy for participating in activities that most people do without thinking. Going shopping for clothes, standing for long periods of time, walking up stairs and playing with my children were hard for me. I did all those things, but I quickly tired, and often found excuses to cut the trip or activity short. I remember one time when we were watching our daughter play soccer, and we had forgotten to bring our folding chairs. I stood there, and stood there for what seemed like an eternity, but was in reality only about 20 minutes. Finally, I looked at John and said, “The bugs out here are bothering me, so I’m just going to sit in the car.” And so I left him standing there – alone – to cheer on the team and our oldest daughter. As I sat in the car I berated myself for being a wimp, and not having the endurance to stand for just a few minutes. Once again I was angry with myself for being so fat.
One game that I did like to play with my daughters when they were small was the “rest game.” This game was an obese person’s dream. It went like this: I would lay on the couch in the living room and pretend to be taking a nap. They would run in and out of the room every few minutes yelling, “Don’t get up yet – your nap time isn’t over!” I loved that game, because I didn’t have to exert any energy or even get up. This game could easily go on for a half an hour or more. At the end of the game we’d all go and have a snack together. The girls something healthy like cheese sticks and apple slices, me something unhealthy like chips, chocolate and a cheese stick thrown in for good measure.
The games I didn’t want to play were those that involved any physical exertion. Things like bike riding, going for walks, dancing, throwing the ball, swimming, etc. were off limits for me. I would sit and watch the children play those games and participate in those activities, but I never joined in. I was the classic Mom on the sidelines. I was living my life on the sidelines. I’ve had people tell me that they don’t really have a lot of motivation to lose weight because they can participate in any activity they want to. I would have told you that too back then, but if you had asked me to “prove it,” I would have been hard pressed to follow through. I’d ask you this – Are you truly physically able to do anything you want to do at your current weight? If you lost some weight and improved your fitness level would that activity be easier and more enjoyable?
Rest game, as fun as it was, didn’t get me anywhere close to achieving my physical fitness and weight loss goals. The games I needed to be playing couldn’t be played on the couch. I needed to get up off the couch, out of the chair, and move away from the sidelines. Finally losing weight enabled me to really be able to participate in my children’s lives. No longer did I have to sit down while the rest of the family walked the nature trail at the park. Now I was leading the way through the trees.
How has being more active changed how you interact with your family and friends? Diane
I have more energy to participate in activites like going for jogs, gardening, bike riding. I don’t have to wait for my husband to get home to carry things for me I can do it for myself now. My best friend and I ran a 5k together. My jogging has recently gotten a lot better just being down 8.5 pounds!
.-= Susan´s last blog ..Weekend Wrap Up =-.
All that you wrote could have been about me too. Mine wasn’t the rest game it was the quiet game. But at that time I would not have told you I could do anything – I would have said that I had to conserve energy and be careful of my knees. I (literally) felt like my knees only ‘had’ so many steps in them – so I had to use them wisely. I do have a knee problem – but the main factor was too much weight on my knees and no tone in my leg muscles. I now do all kinds of things with no pain, no clicks, no issues.
.-= vickie´s last blog ..Legacy =-.
We have a new phrase here – or I should say new for the last 3 years. That is “it is time to exercise !”
Some things that I did as a kid I will never be able to do again. I suffered a torn meniscus and arthritis developed in my knee and spine. Less weight will take some pressure from the joint but the arthritis will never go away , and will spread. Arthritis is a disorder of the immune system and the form I have was put into motion by an injury. Other forms have different causes of origin and while weight loss can help, the disease will remain and different conditions will bring on a flare.The goal with this condition is to find activity that will allow movement but will not do further damage. Depending on the area affected, running, jumping and certain other activities are a very bad idea because they speed the deterioration.My goal is to be active and drug free, so I have to pick and choose a lot. No jogging, but things like yoga and pilates are definitely in !
.-= Diane´s last blog ..To be 9 again =-.
Diane, I think this sidelines thing is BIG for a lot of people AND that not being able to go on rides & such with your kids and/or friends… just enjoy life vs. being too heavy to do anything.
I was never so heavy that I could not be active & do things BUT I did feel self conscious. No more of that!
.-= Jody – Fit at 52´s last blog ..Fitness/Weight Loss Help for YOU! Recalled Lettuce =-.
Great post, Diane. I played the rest game when my kids were young, too. Now I watch my grandkids and love playing soccer in the yard, crawling after my grandson all around the house, and am able to carry them up and down stairs without pause several times a day. Fit is better.
At 62 years old, it’s move it or lose it. My daughter was concerned about me getting on the floor to reach a bottom shelf. I am really more spry than she is. Older people can’t get up from the floor because those don’t regularly go down to the floor and try to get up. Even if it’s just getting up and down off the floor, and I do a lot more than that, it’s worth it to keep mobile and independent.
This just makes my heart ache. I have done things like this and I know other do it as well.
Being overweight is so much more than just a chubby person. It goes into our souls and steal life from us in every way you can imagine.
My biggest eye opener was when I realized how much my kids miss out on because of me and not being willing to participate. So sad.
Thank goodness it is over all around!
Now when my cousins visit we go bike riding and I chase them around the park instead of just watching movies. So much more fun.
I was definitely one of those persons who “lived life from the sidelines.” I remember thinking “Just wait until I’m skinny!” all the time. The thing I notice now, is that with exercise I’m just happier! And though I don’t necessarily join in my kid’s games (they’re all teenagers now) they do notice that I cheer more!!
ahhhh lost my post! and it was a long one. I’ll narrow it down now..
I was and still have it in me to be a couch potato. Hours can disappear in any given evening.
But since starting my wellness & weightloss journey, I will walk 5K 5-6 times a week on a good week. Hubs comes along for about half of those. That’s an hour spent with my husband, talking, sharing, dreaming, praying.. an hour invested not only in our health, but in our marriage.
And I get to meet and greet neighbours, sisters I don’t normally make the time for..
TV potato butt vs. health & relationship building… h’mmmmm… which do I choose…. not so hard if I look at it that way.
.-= Amy´s last blog ..fail, not epic, but close =-.
I used to say that my weight did not keep me from doing the things I wanted to. Too some extent that was true. I was 230 lbs at 26 years old. I rollerbladed, swing danced, mountain biked and did karate. That was great. As I got older and my sedentary job caught up to me, I started to hurt. First, it was sciatica, then during my pregnancy for my second child, a separation of the sacral joint which meant I could not bear weight on one of my legs. Plus, I have issues with my feet and ankles which are congential and have a been a problem since I was 13 and 120 lbs.
So, while my weight did not officially keep me from doing things, the fear of pain or injury did. Now at 154 lbs, I am realizing all the things that I had stopped doing for that fear. I weighed about 200 lbs when we taught our first daughter to ride a bike. I was running with her and it was HARD. Now, teaching my second daughter, the little jogs are not even noticeable. And that is a great feeling.
Yeah, it’s a cycle. Less activity, more weight gain, less activity, and so on. We all know the answers and solutions. Either we do it or we don’t. The piper will be paid
.-= Dr. J´s last blog ..The Biggest Loser Couples Compete for a Spot in the Final Four =-.
Diane,
So glad that you’re in the game now.
I’ve been able to draw a few relatives into the exercise game and, as result, we spent meaningful quality together — time that we didn’t necessarily set aside before…
.-= ‘Drea´s last blog ..One Second Flat =-.
I just found your blog and read your amazing story…I am so impressed with your motivation! You are an inspiration to so many others.
I love the rest game…I may utilize it when I need a break…only because my 5-year-old can tire me out!
Diane, it sounds like you’ve taken a page out of my life. Although I never played a game quite like the “rest game”, I was always watching my life and the life of my only son pass me by without taking an active part. Since losing 91 pounds, even though I’m not even halfway to my goal, I can tell a huge difference in the way I feel.
I have lots more energy and actually feel like getting up off the couch and moving. My husband and son have both commented about the positive changes in me. Last year I missed my son’s school carnival because I just didn’t have the energy to get up and go. This year I not only went to the carnival, I was able to keep up with them and never had to stop to rest!
Small steps will lead to a huge success!
I’ll be back tomorrow to read…public holiday and have hubby at home…wanted to let u know…..
Our weekends are much better as a family – we go and do things that require a lot more walking and don’t avoid activity now. Its helped us grow closer as a family and made for some wonderful memories.
After this last week, I am looking forward to adding some happy back into that memory file again.
.-= Pam´s last blog ..Short Update =-.
Like you I have been on both sides of the coin. There is a great joy in being able to participate in anything, just as there is great sadness in seeing those on the sidelines, and at those at forced rest because their bodies can’t participate. To those who have yet to make the transition and take the first step; if you’re sitting still, you’re simulating death.
.-= Emergefit´s last blog ..Game off… Game on… =-.
Wow. I can totally feel you on that game. It sounds like me when I was obese.
.-= Jasmine @ Eat Move Write´s last blog ..Kale, Banana, & Chocolate Oh My! =-.
Ah, the resting. I hate how much you need to stop and rest when you weigh more. I love being bale to play and do fun activities without needing rest all because I just lost a bit of weight. It really does change how you live your life. I hope when I lose the rest I’m able to keep up with anyone and everyone.
I have been making an attempt to shed pounds for years. It’s all the time an up and down battle. I take twosteps forward and 4 backwards. I never appear to make much progress. I am going to begin a eating regimen, do nicely for awhile, then return to my previous habits. I do it time and time again. Properly, I am completely happy to say that due to websites like yours I been capable of lose 47 pounds up to now! You articles keep me motivated. Everyday I try to learn on something new to maintain my excitement and keep going ahead. Thank you!
before our daughter I read a book called PLAYFUL PARENTING.
it was all about getting down on the floor and getting INTERACTIVE with your child.
at first I thought: REALLY? WE NEED THIS IN A BOOK? IT ISNT INTUITIVE?
then I reflected back on the ME of 20 yrs prior and realized how I would ENTIRELY have sent her OUTSIDE to play—while I plopped on the couch exhausted from life.
.-= Miz´s last blog ..Thinking outside ourselves. =-.
I can relate so much to this post. The 32 pounds I’ve lost have made such a difference in my energy level and I love having more energy to do things with my family.
There are still more activities to get involved in and I look forward to that as I continue to lose weight.
.-= Leah´s last blog ..Weigh-In …(1st GOAL!!) Getttin With It Update #7 =-.
Diane, every single time I read your blog, I see a bit of myself in your entries. I have been there and done that and currently going through it.
I am now 299… but I still struggle some days to push myself to do things with the kids. I feel guilty on the “resting” days.
In the beginning, what kinds of activities did you do with the kids that allowed you to get your daily exercise in and for them to have fun?
As always this is a fabulous post!
~Kellie
.-= The Chubby Girl Diaries´s last blog ..It feels good to do something about your weight. Doesn’t it?! =-.