It sounds really selfish when I say that I need some “me time.” After all, I’ve got people who rely on me all day long, and I don’t want to let them down. All day long my children, friends and John are asking me to do things for them. From my two year old shaking his cup and telling me he needs more ice, to my 13 year old wanting me to look at his latest electrical creation. Don’t get me wrong – I love being a mom every minute of the day. But when the cat has demanded to be let out for the 156th time that day, sometimes I’m just tired.
I realized through the years, that I need some time for me on a regular basis. I am a better person when I spend time by myself, my husband or a close friend. Those hours laughing over coffee or seeing a movie refresh and renew me.
When I was obese I spent time by myself eating. It was almost as though I were afraid to be alone or having fun without food. So I ate. Even when I went shopping by myself, there was always food involved. I’d plan my route to the mall depending on what fast food drive-thru I wanted to visit. If I was in the mood for a parfait, Dairy Queen was the way to go, and if I “needed” some fries, Wendy’s was my destination.
I avoided being alone with my thoughts and shoved any negative or worriesome emotion aside with food. It was a hard place to be.
Being able to spend time by myself without food involved was something that evolved almost by accident. I looked for ways to keep my hands and mind occupied so I wouldn’t eat continually throughout the day or evening. I began scrapbooking, knitting, writing in my journal and spending quality time with some close friends. Those quiet times taught me that I didn’t “need” to shove emotions aside, but rather I could just work through the emotional pull of food without giving into it.
Over the years I’ve become careful about budgeting some time just for me. Be it a shopping trip with no agenda, sitting on the porch by myself or having coffee with a friend – those pockets of me time refresh and renew me.
I’d encourage you to do the same. Life is hard, and you need some moments by yourself to rejuvenate your mind, body and spirit.
When is the last time you spend some time doing something just for you without food? Diane
every single day.
that I need my METIME in the morning.
I follow the notion that we teach people how to treat us and my husband has been taught, errr, understands
period and always.
I will get up EARLY to be sure I have it—but I need it every day.
Miz´s last fabulous musings ..New Two Fit Chicks & a Microphone
Diane YOU need to take some ME time for sure, I believe it makes one a better mother and wife..its not selfish at all.
I remember hearing Robin, Dr Phil’s wife saying the same thing. How important that is.
I feel so bad answering that question as I have so much me time these days.
I probably go the other direction: too much ME time.
But I love to think and plan and dream, and if it keeps me out of the kitchen, all the better. I’m glad you found time for YOU.
For concentrated “me” time, I head to the mountains to hike or just sit on a rock near the river. I am fortunate to be at a place in life where finding “me” time isn’t difficult. That hasn’t always been the case and I have vowed NEVER to take it for granted.
SBBLWB´s last fabulous musings ..Seven Things You Dont Know About Me!
Does time in the blogosphere count? I am fortunate to have a lot of time if I want to use it for myself. Don’t work, kids are older (and I have less than you). But I probably should take the time in there to really do something for me, not just live life day to day.
Karen@WaistingTime´s last fabulous musings ..The Never Ending Journey
Right now, I am reveling in the me time. I am single, my only daughter is grown and married and I am just wallowing in me time and am loving it.
It is really the first time I have been completely on my own, now that I think about it. Got married young, had my daughter, life happened. So if you are of a “certain age”, just picture Jill Clayburg singing “It’s My Turn” and you’ll know exactly how I feel.
I am getting to know me for the first time in my life. Something I wished I’d done when I was young, but no use crying over spilt milk.
Roxie´s last fabulous musings ..Peaches and Hamburgers
I try to take me time every night by reading after dinner. It’s so nice to wind down after a long day, but I don’t have kids. I have no idea how parents do it. It seems like down time is a myth once children get involved.
Tracey @ I’m Not Superhuman´s last fabulous musings ..A Cure For The Common Chocolate Craving
If momma ain’t happy,
ain’t no body happy
in very various versions of quote
and all very true.
and I think the more we take care of ourselves the BETTER we take care of everyone else.
good post
First: you don’t have to feel guilty to want so “me-time”. Every woman earns me-time. It makes us happier and that means people around us will be happier too.
I don’t have children but I do work 36 hours a week which means I have one day off every two weeks. I clean our house by myself, I don’t have a housekeeper, I do all the cooking and grocery shopping.
Working out is necessary for me and although I don’t mind doing it I don’t consider it really as me-time. That’s reading a book, watch a movie, make a puzzle, cross-stitching, blogging/reading blogs and meeting with friends. I’ll try to do one of these things at least one hour a day.
ME time is important. I started years ago setting my alarm to have that early morning quiet. When my kids were smaller, I use to tell them I was in time out…Hey, it worked. They realized time out wasn’t for doing something bad, it was a time to re-group and it gave me the time I needed to be a better me…
Jules – Big Girl Bombshell´s last fabulous musings ..Garden Lesson- What I take for granted
We all need a little “me time,” especially mothers who never get a break or vacation.
I’m learning that every day I go to the gym is “me time.”
I’m another one who gets a lot of me time. Working out, writing, spending time writing blog entries and then reading blog entries early in the morning, all are forms of me time that I’m lucky enough to get these days. Plus there is the occasional blissful afternoon nap. I do think that having some me time is vital for everyone, probably especially busy parents who spend so much of their time taking care of others.
Desert Agave´s last fabulous musings ..Rotten Day and a Weigh In
Part of the reason why my boyfriend and I work super well together is that we DO recognize the importance of “me time”. It’s not that we don’t want to spend time together or that we need to take breaks from each other, but that we need to spend time BY OURSELVES. You can never know who you really are unless you take the time to get to know yourself, and I don’t think that can be properly achieved unless you repeatedly take regular “me times”. I spend a little bit of time alone each day. Most of the day on Sundays I try to be totally by myself to do everything I need/want to do, and just to collect my thoughts and get in touch with the essence of who I am.
It’s important!
Sagan´s last fabulous musings ..Product Review- Align Digestive Care Probiotic Supplement
I took up running in May. Four days a week I hit the pavement in my local park. It’s just me, the track, and sometimes my ipod. A perfect mini-break all for me.
I am such a person that needs me time! When I was working 60+++ hours a week, I never had it & it took its toll. I will never go back to that! I pretty much have me time every day.
Jody – Fit at 52´s last fabulous musings ..Habits We Need to Break Or Not
The best way for me time is when i go for walks in the woods, just me and nature
suzanne´s last fabulous musings ..A nice walk
I’m at the stage of life (kids mostly gone from the nest) and not working so I have lots of me time, but how well I remember the years when I was working 60 hours a week, raising kids and taking care of the house and my husband. Those were good years but challenging. When it all got to be too much and I could feel myself getting short tempered and stressed I used to tell my boys “Mom needs a time out or she can’t be nice” and I’d retreat to my room for a few minutes of relaxation with a book. Put in those terms it made sense to them, since when they couldn’t be nice they were given a few minutes of time out in their rooms as well.
I think my blog is my me time.
Joe´s last fabulous musings ..My Transition to Forefoot Striking
What an eye-opener to read all of the above comments reflecting how much “me time” nearly everyone has! I was feeling a little guilty…thinking I was nearly a rarity in having lots of time for myself…and loving it. I was at a dinner party a few years ago when a woman, a teacher, asked condescendingly, “What is it you do all day?” “Anything I want,” I responded. “And what exactly is that?” she sneered back. And I said, “Look, I keep busy all day. I don’t need to give anyone an accounting of my activities.” Now if she had come across nicer I might have thought she just wanted to know because she was contemplating something similar for herself and wanted to be reassured that she would be able to productively fill up her days (I’m such a dreamer), but she was really nasty. After that, I became very guarded about telling people how much fun it was to have lots of me time. I do almost everything these days without food. I generally eat all of my food in the kitchen, then leave to take care of activities in other parts of the house. And I like to sip tea at my computer…that’s my big treat every day.
Great Post! I take time for me everyday with working out! I hope all your reader do this too!
sian-girlgetstrong´s last fabulous musings ..KIDStrong Drink Review Minute Maid Giveaway
I’m happy to report that I did something for myself just a few days ago.
I think it’s great that realize and honor the value of taking care of yourself. As one of my friends quipped the other day, “That’s why they tell you to put your oxygen mask on first.”
‘Drea´s last fabulous musings ..A Perfectly Good Pickle And
my morning walks/jogs/bike riding time is my time for ME. This is the number one tip I have for ANYONE..you must make yourself #1 before you can expect any healthy fitness plan to work.
Great post Diane!!
Brenda´s last fabulous musings ..The book that started the fire in me
I’m very lucky that the “me time” I need, I can always get because it comes between 4-7am, and that’s when everyone else is asleep
It is the most soulful and most productive time of the day, whether I am working out, writing, or whatever — I know I won’t be interupted…
Emergefit´s last fabulous musings ..Standing Out In A Crowd…
Honestly, i’m kind of obsessed with me time. sometimes me and my husband both take it to the extreme and are like okay, i’m glad we have our hobbies but we need to spend more time together! haha My workouts, my blogging and my shopping/recipe finding/cooking – you name it – are usually done alone and I SO enjoy it!!
fittingbackin´s last fabulous musings ..Reasons Why Today Rocked- C25K- Frog Legs
I have still not been convinced of the whole “me time” thing, and I don’t do it. I hold nothing against those who do, I am such a doer for others and it makes me happy and I just have a hard time taking that time out and doing for me.
Pam´s last fabulous musings ..Experimental Cooking- Naturally
After I get the kids in bed at night, that is my me time. Lately I have been using that to work out, but I also sew, too. Getting enough sleep…that is my challenge!
Stacy´s last fabulous musings ..Butterflies
Like most mothers, I don’t have a lot of “me” time. Even when I’m doing things for myself, my mind is often on my family or work.
I’m really enjoying the summer, though. I have lots more time to exercise which is great. Unfortunately, it’s too hot to go on long walks–one of my favourite activities. I must say, I rarely have anything more than a bottle of water on my walks. The two seem to go together. Food, not so much.
NewMe´s last fabulous musings ..An LT Recipe
Going to the gym last night to jog on the treadmill helped renew and refresh me. Also, this Saturday my husband is taking me out to dinner. I heard him tell my friend, who is going to watch our kids, “We took her out Friday night, but that was with the kids.” I was touched that he wanted to give me some time out without them.
Like you, I love being a wife and mother, but I feel those moments of alone time help me do it all better.
Great post!!!
Leah´s last fabulous musings ..Sweet Birthday
Well, being that I don’t have children yet, I get to take a lot of me time. I read for a whole after noon a couple of weeks ago. Now, I did eat lunch in between that time, but I wasn’t munching the whole time.
Shawnee´s last fabulous musings ..Today I ate Cheetos and Didn’t Feel Guilty
I’m slowly but surely learning how important this is.
Josie´s last fabulous musings ..Week 42 – Weigh-In and a 10 Week Challenge
I encourage people to take time for themselves all the time! It makes all of us better when we do then spend time with others!
I definitely need “me time.” When my kids were little I carved out some me time in a mother’s final refuge–the bathroom. I would have a long bubble bath and read in the bath every night. I have continued this into the present where I don’t have little kids around (in the evening, anyway) and can afford a nice jaccuzzi that keeps the water at just the right temperature. DH knows that I like a nice, long, time in the bath. I read there or just think and get my thoughts in order. lately, I’ve been finding me-time when I run, also. I listen to music, or people-watch, or problem solve ideas, or pray, or just enjoy looking at God’s bounty. This away time makes me a lot more fun to be around at other times in the day.
I wonder how many calories I’m not burning each day because we installed a cat door? We have 4 cats
But to address your main point: my ME time is when I go to the gym. Hubby watches the kids, and I get lost for an hour or two where I sweat like crazy and don’t have to do anything for anyone else. It took me a long time to be willing to add a gym membership to our list of bills, but it has been SO worth it.
Kate´s last fabulous musings ..Icky- Sticky- Potty Seat Covers
Yesterday, mani/pedi. I try to keep up with that. I always feel getter. Since I broke my toe monday, this pedi wasn’t as enjoyable as the others and I really should go to the doctor to make sure it’s not more than my toe broken…but well, lets just say I’m committed to having nice finger and toe nails. LOL broken bones come second I guess….
I also used to love knitting in the evening after the kids went to bed. I really should get back to that.
Julie Lost and found´s last fabulous musings ..Another Low and A Conversation With God
Yes, “me time” is so important! And I always have to remind myself not to feel guilty about it… Most of my “me time” happens when I exercise.
Andrea@WellnessNotes´s last fabulous musings ..Time To “Party” A Bit Less…
My daily walk in the morning is some of my me time, blogging is also my me time! I like having some time to myself at home alone. That is a rare event these days with two college kids at home and hubby works from home!
I’ve been reading everyday. Just relaxing in bed with the A/C and a book. And the dogs of course. No food…just water and an occasional nap.
Cynthia (It All Changes)´s last fabulous musings ..I WILL…
The “without food” modifier on your prompt tripped me up. My fave “me time” was reading while eating out. Then, as a part of my plan, I went two weeks without reading while eating. It was the hardest thing I’ve done! But amazingly, when forced to choose *between* reading and food, I chose to read. But wow, that was hard…and a great learning experience.
Alan´s last fabulous musings ..Pounds Off Profile- Darren Clarke
My ‘me’ time is also my walking time. Sometimes it has purpose, sometimes it’s more like aimless wandering but it always allows me time to reflect. I’m much the better for it.
Deniz´s last fabulous musings ..Summer delights
it’s the only way that I don’t shove food in my face. I have learnt that this is the MOST important thing for me.
Michelle @Eatingjourney´s last fabulous musings ..In Love