I’ve been in a clutter reducing mode around the house since before Christmas. With seven kids, the toys and “stuff” of life need constant managing or our house can look completely out of control. Yesterday, as I was working on relining the bathroom drawers with contact paper, I began thinking about how difficult it was to decide what to keep and what to get rid of when I began losing weight.
First there was the food:
I knew I needed to ditch eating entire bags of chips and pans of brownies. That was pretty easy. What was harder for me was learning where the line was in those gray areas. Do I eat the whole potato or just half? Can I have a roll and the baked chicken, or should I eat a larger piece of chicken and no roll? Can I have a bit of salad dressing or should I just tough out the salad with no dressing? Could I ever make cookies again or was opening a stick of butter always a bad idea?
Second there were the relationship issues:
Not relationships with friends at first, although that came into play later. At first the relationships I had to declutter where those with food. Why was I so focused on food all day long? How could I stop thinking about food and move onto other things in my life? How could I tell people “no” when they offered me food or tried to insist that I really did want a piece of pie?
Third there were the clothes:
When did I donate those size 3X + dresses and shirts to Goodwill? When was the right time to purchase some nicer clothes even though I wanted to save money?
These decisions seemed to come at me fast and furious during the years I lost weight. The emotional/relationship came up daily, the food choices hourly at least and the clothing choices fairly often. At the time, I didn’t realize that I was making all these management decisions, but I do remember feeling stressed at times during the journey.
I’d sometimes finish the day with a large sigh that I made it through the day. Between the kids needs, the food choices and the attempts to regularly exercise – I often found myself tired. But I also felt successful because I knew I had done my best when it came to my new way of life.
The choices of what to keep and what to give up never stop – even after I “finished” my weight loss journey. To this day I always have to make decisions about my food, exercise and emotional relationships to food. If I make the right, healthy decisions most of the time, I am able to stay in a healthy weight range. If I stop thinking about it and just eat whatever I want – I could gain weight, just like anyone else.
How are you doing with deciding what to keep and what to let go? Diane
I have been doing well with deciding what to keep and what to let go. For me, I had to let go of a LOT of the relationship issues before i could kick out of maintenance to WEIGHT LOSS… It has been a long, long, slow, slow path but it is moving in the right direction. What you learn about yourself when you LET GO…is so AMAZING!
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Ditto here – relationships and clutter and time commitments and paperwork and organization had a LOT to do with my process. The fat, food, exercise, sleep, water are the parts we SEE more readily. But for many/most of us there are a lot more things which have to change. It is over whelming to think how many there were. Very inner related. And some of it was much harder than the food. And I agree, in the very beginning, the food seems like it is the big BE ALL, DO ALL. I think we (mostly) hid behind the food. And once it gets squared away, there are a lot more issues for most of us.
very good post. you seem to have really hit your stride/found your voice. Your posts have always been good, but they seem richer, deeper (to me) lately.
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I’m all right with taking smaller chunks out of something and leaving the rest for another time. In the past I would’ve finished everything in the box.
I do find myself thinking about food a lot. If I’m bored I countdown to the next meal time. Sometimes I’m okay with this because I don’t to be hungry but need to exercise too.
I’m keeping my largest clothes (UK size 20-22) to remember them by. If I’m ever tempted to let a day off turn into a week or more then I’m going to put those clothes on and ask myself, “Do you want to fill these out again?”
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Excellent post, Diane! You’re right–it’s not just about the food. I believe the old saying is true: “It’s not what you’re eating, it’s what’s eating you.” That’s why this weight loss process is so complicated and why we can so easily have good intentions at 7 a.m., and by noon, we’re in the food again. I have for too long made food the focus of my weight loss efforts, but now I am also dealing with the “clutter” in my life, which encompasses my physical environment, as well as my relationships, and some of my belief system. You have obviously made very significant changes in all of those areas, or you wouldn’t have lost and maintained as you have.
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I love to declutter! My big problem – I should have tossed lots of clothes in the past when I lost weight. And, food, hmm. I have tossed a lot of that.
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I’m getting better and better at the decisions you mentioned. Making good decisions with regards to portions or eating when not hungry is still the hardest thing for me.
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The decisions never stop, it seems like. The last couple weeks making good decisions has been easy. Which is a relief, since I feel like a struggled with them for much of the fall.
Desert Agave´s last fabulous musings ..The Jigsaw Puzzle
This has become even harder for me as I discovered my food allergies and intolerances. Now that I can’t have some things I feel entitled to others and over do it. I need to get back in the right mind space.
Definitely had to pitch some food after the holiday party!
The folks at the airport really liked the Chocolate Chip Cheesecake we made
I have to so declutter the house! I am so bad with letting go of cards & old memory things & well. just magazines & things I really don’t need… I am BAD at that! It was easier for me to declutter food & all that when I was losing weight than this house thing!
I will say for people losing weight, it you have saboteurs that want to stop you from losing weight, even friends, ya have to think about how to manage that…. don’t let anyone sabotage your weight loss goals!
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I have no problem tossing food that is too tempting! If I can’t send it to the office with hubby or we are too many days away from being able to share it at church where it gets gobbled up in a hurry then I toss it!
I love to de-clutter the house and give things away to charity!
This is a good topic. It’s a life changing event to lose a significant amount of weight. As I lost my weight I passed on my “fat” clothes to my friends who were trying to lose weight. As I went down in sizes, the friends who were behind me losing their own weight got a new wardrobe.
I love to declutter also, and find when one part of my life is getting “cluttered” (i.e. my body with food), then I’m accumulating clutter in other parts of my life also. I love a streamlined life from household to eating to finances.
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The clothes thing is a hard one for me. I have boxed up all of the clothes that don’t fit anymore- but I am scared to get rid of them! I always fear gaining the weight back- but I am determined not to! I do plan on getting rid of the clothes on a garage sale in the spring- but it’s still scary!
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hahaha; you should see my blog post/title today!
Nail, meet the hammer! LOL
Re food, what works best for me is simple: 1,200 calories a day. I try to keep it mostly a low carb diet. However, I do allot 100-150 of those calories for sweets. Usually just Hershey Nuggets, but whatever is available and I’m in the mood for that day. I still exert control by keeping it to 150 calories, but yet I feel decadent and self-indulging a bit for allowing that. It works for me.
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I wish I was more systematic about this, as is I tend to make these decisions based on my end goals, and hope they are wise! For example, I don’t keep old, too-big clothes, because I never plan on wearing them again. There’s some mental game of HAVING to fit into my current set, or immediately losing again so that I can, that keeps me accountable. Its all too easy to pull out a bigger pair, if I have them, and ignore the greater issue of regain.
With food, I fail more, but tryto focus on each decision bringing me closer to or taking me further from my goal of weight loss. I evaluate my food choices and try to mostly pick things that nptonly fit within my daily calories, but are good, wholesome fuel for my body. Occasionally the desire of ‘want it, tastes good!’ overrules the more responsible part of my brain, but the longer I am on this journey, the less that happens.
With relationships, I admit I barely even think about it. I generally plan tha if I am over at someone’s house or t an event, I eat as comfortable as I can within those confines, and expect to eat differently than my plan at home. My life is such hat these events are few and far between, so modifying my eating tofit the circumstance isn’t a recipe for disaster.
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I haven’t been doing well the last few months. Been trying but can’t string 2 days in a row together. Today was my last day of junk food of any kind. Wish me luck
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i read your blog post on what to decide what needs to go
i think it is great informative post most readers will love it
i will gladly recommend it to my friend to read it too
thanks for the nice picture posted on this blog too
Best Regards
Russell wong
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