Why can’t you just get started on your weight loss journey? If I had a nickel for every time I asked myself that question during my obese years, I’d be seriously rich. So many times, while sitting on the couch eating something fattening, I would berate myself for having allowed myself to get so overweight, and ask myself why I couldn’t seem to get going. I had good intentions, sometimes. I’d make a conscious decision to purchase healthier food, not eat a whole gallon of Breyer’s Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, and try to get off the couch, but I never followed through. I joined my local weight loss center, paid my weekly fees, but seemed completely incapable of losing more than a couple of pounds. I blamed my failure on everything imaginable: My slow metabolism, genetics, food manufacturers, lack of information, wrong equipment, money, time, family obligations. . . The one thing I didn’t blame my failure on was myself. I couldn’t seem to see that those external factors weren’t ultimately the problem. The problem was me.
The problem was me. I was allowing myself to continue gaining weight at a rapid pace by eating unbelievable amounts of food. I was the one who chose to sit on the couch for much of the day, and I was even the one responsible for grocery shopping and meal planning. It turns out Breyer’s Ice Cream wasn’t to blame for my obesity, it was just me. This was a hard pill to swallow, because I didn’t like to think about being responsible for weighing close to 300 pounds, or not fitting into restaurant booths anymore. I was frustrated with myself on every level. Finally facing myself in the mirror, and accepting that the responsibility for the weight gain was mine alone, helped me realize that the responsibility to lose weight and get healthy was also mine. I knew it all along in my head, but I hadn’t accepted it into my heart. This acceptance didn’t come about overnight – rather it was a long process of self-examination and acknowledgement. Over time I wanted to accept the responsibility for my actions, so I could move forward in a positive direction.
Getting started had always been my problem. I knew what to do, I just couldn’t seem to do it. The last time I began my weight loss journey I started with a completely different mindset. Instead of thinking about losing weight as a negative proposition, I turned it around and thought of it as a positive change. All the things I wanted to do but couldn’t, loomed in front of me like a beacon. Getting started this time was easier. I worked hard at banishing the negative thoughts and emotions surrounding the weight loss process and focused on the “what-ifs.” What if I could run a 5K, or climb on the jungle gym? What if I could buy some snack crackers and only eat a few? What if I had control over my food choices and actually lost weight once and for all. What if, instead of feeling bad about myself all the time, I could feel good about myself for a change.
When I got started I had a firm eating and exercise plan in mind, and an accurate perception of my strengths and weaknesses. Armed with this self-knowledge, I finally had success. Every time I was tempted to blame external things for my weight problem, I reminded myself where the responsibility actually lay. Starting anew each day I resolved to make the best choices I could. When I “messed up” and accidentally ate something I hadn’t planned on, instead of beating myself up, and giving up, I just started again. It took just 14 months for me to lose 150 pounds, starting fresh everyday of the year. You too can get started today at fulfilling your goals. The problem may be you, but the solution is also you. Diane
So true! We all have the power to make our own choices.
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I too also made that “genetic” excuse. It’s genetics which is the problem I’m so “big boned”. Bull! It was me who ate much more than what my body actually needed.
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I love how you started again instead of beating yourself up. I too often slip a bit so then decide I might as well go big. But you are so right – it always comes down to us.
such a good topic, very well written. You are kind and diplomatic as ever. It is not a message everyone wants to hear, so this is a brave post too.
That’s a beautiful blueprint for others to follow, Diane!!
I can’t help wondering when the mental shift took place? Did you start being kinder to yourself and THEN the physical shift started or did the physical shift lead to being kinder to yourself?
I’ve been working a lot on having compassion towards myself for the last few months and have just recently started on the physical aspect of taking care of myself.
For me, I think the mental stuff is going to be the catalyst for the physical part. Just curious if you found this to be true in your experience as well.
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I think I started to be “kinder” to myself after I began losing weight. Up until that point I really felt like a failure all the way around. But that last time I made a conscious effort to try and be nicer to myself and it seemed to make a difference in how I felt when I made mistakes.
Great post Diane. I always need a reminder that it is possible to start fresh every day.
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I was the same way…I was my worst enemy. I kept saying that I was doing everything “right” and that I had tried “everything” to lose weight. Excuses, excuses! I HADN’T tried everything. In fact I hadn’t really tried at all.
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Diane, I can’t tell you how much I love this post! Goes along with my tough love for 2011. Accountability for sure.. if you are wondering why is it not working, look in the mirror & take a look & re-evaluate what you are really doing vs. what you think you are doing.
You done good Diane!
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THIS is an example of the things I get from these sorts of blogs despite not having a weight problem. If “I” am the problem, then “I” am also the solution. I don’t have to wait for anyone else, be dependent on anyone else or trust anyone else, or pay anyone money. I can make it happen by my lonesome, for many challenges confronting me in life. It’s a matter of stopping wasting time looking for shortcuts and just hunkering down and doing it. For any challenge.
That last line is genius. Thanks, Diane.
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Diane — thanks for the great post. I realize that this time I am looking at it as a positive rather than I’m punishing myself by not getting to eat everything I think I want.
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Let me start by saying congratulations on your weight loss! I can completely relate to this post. When I finally decided it was time to get healthy, I started with exercise, which is something I had NEVER done in the past. From there I developed the right mindset,commitment, motivation and support to FINALLY be successful at weight loss! I still have a journey ahead of me!
Melissa Cohoe´s last fabulous musings ..December Monthly Review Of Weight Loss and Fat Burn
You are absolutely right Diane, “it was my fault too”. I wanted to blame the Diabetes because I didn’t know how to lose the weight, or my neuropathy in my feet, or my hypo-thyroid … the list kept on going. Now that I did it, I feel empowered!
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Well said Diane and so true! Daily renewal, taking care of yourself daily is so important not putting off our fitness or our healthy eating doing the right things TODAY since its the only time we have!
Wow you lost a lot of weight in a short amount of time! I think my take a way from this post is accountability, when you choose the behavior we choose the consequences and we are accountable to ourselves!
Once I figured out that being healthy isn’t about being perfect 24/7 with my food plan and exercise but more about being consistent and if I am doing things right most of the time I have a little room built in so if I do make a mistake or have a little off day it all balances out over the course of the week, month and year.
Diane…this is one of those AWESOME Bottom Line posts…and so heart felt for me today…My problem has always been me…and it DOES take a ton of digging, a long process of self-examination and acknowledgment, and that slow change to look at the good and the what if’s of the GOOD…not the what ifs of the bad! I saw this week just HOW much this is the not the last, not another, but the first of many days of living my life. healthier each day. The emotions that keep us intertwined within the self-negative for what ever reason!
My step-dad passed away earlier this week but i didn’t have to use food to cope….THAT is NEW and beautiful.
Jules – Big Girl Bombshell´s last fabulous musings ..The Dash
I have this same problem. I can tell when I’m gaining weight. I can feel things jiggling, my clothes are tighter and I’m more tired.
I know my gain is all me and sometimes it makes me mad that I’m not as driven as I was years ago to lose weight even though I hate the weight gain.
Great job on the weight loss.
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I’m finally just coming to realize this and it’s made my journey so much easier. I am the one who puts the food in my mouth and gets off the couch, and if I don’t I have no one to blame but me.
I am taking it one day at a time, and just making the best choices I can.
Happy new year Diane!
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Excellent, Diane! Thank you for the comment on my weigh-in last week as well. I am the only one who can change, but thankfully that means that I can do it.
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