I get this question all the time, and when you get to where you want to be, you might just hear it too.
”Did you have gastric bypass surgery?”
I did not have gastric bypass surgery. Why not? Well, for me there were a couple of different reasons. One reason is that I’m scared to death of medical procedures, surgery in particular. That alone was enough to discourage me in a major way. Another reason I didn’t have surgery was because we couldn’t afford it, and the third reason was it just wasn’t as common fifteen years ago as it is today. The fourth, and most compelling reason was that I just had a feeling somewhere deep inside myself that I could do it. I had a terrible track record with weight loss attempts, but I still had hope for myself.
As a perpetual dieter, I knew I was able to lose weight. I had lost the same 20 pounds at least 10 times during my obese years. The 20 pounds reappeared the minute I went back to normal eating, usually bringing a few of its friends along with it. So it wasn’t as if I thought I wasn’t capable of losing weight. It was just if I could actually stay committed and focused long enough to see the number on the scale move into a healthy range. Because somewhere in my heart I understood that I could do it, I didn’t consider surgery.
Do I condemn people who have had gastric bypass surgery? No, definitely not, absolutely no way. I believe that every person has the right to choose the best way for them to regain their health. Having surgery is never the easy option, even if the media portrays it as such. The proliferation of weight loss shows publicizes gastric bypass surgery in a way not seen 5, 10 or 15 years ago.
For me, it turns out that losing weight on my own gave me the same results as gastric bypass surgery without the pain, cost, or continued medical monitoring. By losing weight the “old fashioned” way, I was able to enjoy a few benefits that people who choose to have gastric bypass surgery lose. The most obvious benefit is that I didn’t have to undergo major surgery, with the possibility of complications. Another benefit of losing weight on my own was that I had a lot of opportunities to practice good eating habits, and retrain my brain when it came to food. A third benefit was that I was forced to confront some of the emotional issues that surrounded my fascination with food.
The last two benefits came with a lot of emotional struggle, and difficult times. There were situations that arose during my year of weight loss that had I not had a firm plan in mind, I would have probably given up and stuck my head in a bowl of ice cream. But because I knew that losing weight wasn’t something to be put on the back burner until an easier time came around, I persevered. Had I had gastric bypass surgery, I would have still lost the weight, but would I have been able to conquer my love/hate relationship with food? I’m not sure.
When I finally got to where I wanted to be, I realized that in some ways, I had the chance to start over with my life. I had rid myself of a lot of bad food habits, learned to love food in the right way, and learned a lot about myself. If you are considering surgery, I’d urge you to speak with your doctor, and do a lot of soul searching. There may be another way out for you. Surgery may be the only option for some people, but for me, old fashioned weight loss was my best option. What’s your best option these days? And what are your thoughts on gastric bypass surgery? Diane
I have no problem with anyone wanting to have the surgery, my concern is they will gain it right back because they didn’t change the way they think about food. That was the key for me, without the “click” in my mind I would have gained all my weight back by now.
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Great subject as usual, Diane. Like you, I would never condemn anyone’s choice to lose weight this way, but today’s media sources make it look so easy and attractive. I always hope that anyone considering a move this drastic and expensive would ALWAYS spend some time with others who’ve had the surgery and are in different stages of dealing with how it affected their life. And most importantly asking the question, “if you had it to do over again, would you have the surgery again?” That’s a whole different picture than listening to the Doctor’s and Clinics who are trying to “sell” you the surgery.
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I too is far to scared for any major operation, so gastric bypass was not something that came to my mind, ever. I rather prefer, just like you, the option where I try my self, to lose the weight.
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I am scared of medical procedures too and that alone would keep me from doing it…
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I’ve known, in my small circle of friends, of 4 people who died from complications due to the surgery. Yet, I remember at one time being so desperate, that I tried to get my insurance to cover it… they would not. But I understand how one can feel it is the only way left for them, that they had tried everything else.
Now I’m glad I didn’t have it. I had to learn to believe in myself, and to find what would work for me. Yet I still struggle… nothing easy about either way. They both take a lot of hard work, and internal changes to make it permanent.
With the surgery, I would be forced to comply (or get side-effects).
Without the surgery, I needed to learn to CHOOSE to comply.
Hard either way, I think.
Good thought-provoking post!
Loretta
=^..^=
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I have had similar reasons myself—mostly I tell people I’m to scared to have surgery!
But the expense of it is another big reason–I know there are some insurance companies that cover it, but ours definitely doesn’t and there are alot of other things that I can use that money on—like a new roof! 
Unfortunately, I don’t really know that I can lose it on my own anymore. When I was younger, I lost weight on a high-protein, low-carbohydrate plan, but as soon as I re-introduced carbs, I gained the weight back and added an additional 50 pounds on top of that. I’ve tried a couple of different times in more recent years but have had limited success—even with exercise. I finally went for a complete physical and asked my dr. about it and his solution was to give up sugar and carbs. When I told him that I know I won’t live the rest of my life without carbs, then he suggested just giving up sugar and limiting carbs. I haven’t tried it yet–so I can’t say that it won’t work, but I was a little frustrated by his nonchalance about it—afterall, I’m more than 150lbs. overweight—not a mere 10 or 20!
Anyway, I think that I probably wouldn’t qualify for the surgery option anyway—they have to be very strict with themselves and I’m not sure I have it in me!
I personally don’t look down on someone who opts for surgery—I think they must be very disciplined and brave!
I am not opposed to it in proper cases. I think there are huge risks and have seen a lot about regain due to the fact that the underlying issues that lead to eating are never addressed. But, I think for some, this might be an option as a last resort.
you did a very good job with this ‘tender topic’. I am horrified with the fact weight loss surgery people do not have mandatory eating disorder therapy. Especially the children. The goal seems to be to just physically get the weight off of them. And we all know that even with the surgery, if major internal work is not done, they also will regain.
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I definitely agree that it is necessary for some people in certain situations, but I don’t think it should be as common as it is now. It isn’t teaching people how to change their eating habits for life. Life is not a diet – life is about eating right for the rest of your life. Too many studies have shown that if you are deprived of anything, as soon as it is reintroduced, the weight comes back. You need to eat normal foods and deal with all the normal situations of life, but I know, easier said than done.
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I think a pastor of ours put it well when he said that gastric bypass surgery will either be your deliverance from food issues or you will still need deliverance.
I know four friends who have had it done, two lost some weight and have kept it off (not sure if they ever got down to their goal weights, but they got close), one lost weight all the way down to a healthy range and stays fit and health conscious and the one to whom our pastor gave this advice to directly has gained all the weight back. This was her second weight loss surgery and the doctors told her they won’t do it again because her body can’t handle it. She is a dear older friend of mine still struggling with being morbidly obese today.
I helped my friend who is still fit and thin today and saw firsthand that it is not an easy option. However, I do feel that it does not always allow people time to deal with the emotional side of being overweight, and for that reason I would not do it. I need to know that I can lose the weight and in doing it the “old fashioned” way I will learn what I need to keep the weight off.
Sorry for the long comment…you got me thinking today.
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Another benefit of losing weight on my own was that I had a lot of opportunities to practice good eating habits, and retrain my brain when it came to food. A third benefit was that I was forced to confront some of the emotional issues that surrounded my fascination with food.
Sorry, Diane, but you have to learn this to be a successful weight loss surgery patient, too. Why do you think so many post-operative patients gain so much weight back? They often don’t work on learning about good nutritional practices or deal with their emotional baggage.
I can say I know about this topic…
First, there are a LOT of surgical options, not just gastric bypass. Second, you DO have to go through therapy and a psych. eval before surgery. Third, you STILL have to learn how to eat, reprogram your thoughts and do EVERYTHING you mentioned you did, only you get a medical intervention to jump start this process. Fourth, by the time MOST people get to the decision of surgery it IS something they have thought about, reaserched and prayed about OVER AND OVER again, sometimes for YEARS. If you have a drug addiction, it is widely accepted that the best thing to do is go to a treatment facility and get medical/behavioral help. If you have a food addiction, people tell you to eat less and excersise more. I know first hand that sometimes you are so advanced in your addition that you need more help than counting calories can offer. Just like with drug addicts and alchoholics, there are some people who can stop on their own, but MOST CAN’T. The stats for recovery from addiction in any form, including food are less than 10%. Most of the people who make the choice for surgery are chosing life after years of trying it the “old fashioned way.” The cycle of addition is repeating the same distructive behavior over and over again as it gets worse and worse. You either stop on your own (wich only about 8% can do), die, or reach out and get help. I feel safe in saying that most who chose surgery, like me, are reaching out for the lifeline they need to get off that roller coaster. All the diet programs in the world can’t suddently change my addictive brain because someone motivates me. I need medical help to prevent me from giving in to my addiction so during that time I can have that monkey off my back while I work on all the things you listed that you did in order to keep in from coming back in the future. What you have done for yourself is amazing. Something that people like me look up to. I am doing the same thing, but in a different way. My next surgery will be open-heart surgery if I can’t get this help and that is far greater a risk than WL surgery.
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I’ve been thinking a lot of the mental part of weight loss. Just read one of the successful calorie counters (Sean) say it’s really 80% mental and have been pondering this. What I know is that it’s not technical change (where there’s a manual), it’s adaptive (changing values and beliefs). And I just read Kessler, who would very much agree with you that it’s about learning over time how to treat various foods and food cues. Good post Diane.
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I’ve had bariatric surgery (the term for all the various weight loss surgeries) and yea, those last two advantages you talk about… I’ve had to deal with them too.
“Another benefit of losing weight on my own was that I had a lot of opportunities to practice good eating habits, and retrain my brain when it came to food.”
Yes, during the first months after surgery (in particular with bypass or a sleeve) it is nearly impossible not to lose weight because the amount of food you can eat at any given time is reduced to a few tablespoons. But this changes. If I don’t continue to eat well, I can still, easily, surpass my daily caloric needs, and start gaining weight.
“A third benefit was that I was forced to confront some of the emotional issues that surrounded my fascination with food.”
The surgery was on my body, not my mind. It is not a “cure”, it is a “tool”. If I don’t learn to use it properly, if I don’t deal with the reasons behind my “fascination with food” as you put it, it won’t do me any good.
When talking to others considering the surgery, I remind them that there is really just one way to lose weight. You have to eat fewer calories than you expend. Surgery for me gave me the tool to help me eat less and feel satisfied, which led to being able to be more active, and the whole thing built on itself. That helped me lost 190 pounds, the habits and such I’ve built up since then have helped me maintain that loss for over a year now.
I appreciate your open attitude regarding surgery as an option… and I hope you continue to be open to learning the “truth” about it.
When I was in my 20′s I really wished I had money for bypass surgery. When I was in my 30′s I lost the weight without surgery. Now that I’m in my 40′s and have gained it all back, my doctor has twice suggested it for me and I’ve actually thought about it a little bit.
I’ve had a lot of surgeries, so I’m not exactly scared of it. On the other hand, I’ve had a lot of surgeries already and every time you go under general anesthesia there are risks. I had one bad anesthesia experience where my memory was damaged a little and it was really hard. I still feel the effects of that. So, would I risk that again for WL surgery? I don’t know. I guess you could say I’m torn.
I want to lose the weight and I know I can because I have. And I don’t want surgery because of the risks. However every day I live with 140 extra pounds on my body there is also risk. I must admit that at some point it is possible that the obesity risk outweighs the surgical one.
I don’t know where that point is, but I’m mulling it over in the back of my mind.
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I actually had someone ask me if I had surgery a couple of months ago. The last time I saw the person I had been about 80lbs heavier. I was kinda surprised by the question it is almost like people don’t even think you can lose weight by changing your eating habits and being more active. I never even considered surgery as an option, although I couldn’t really afford it either and in general I’m opposed to the idea.
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great question.as this is an individual journey..each person needs to find their way to get there. Whether you lose all the weight and then look at the emotional stuff or visa versa…I do know this…
If it is weight loss…you can do it any way that gets you to the goal….if it is a healthy lifestyle you are after..then you have to do the emotional stuff and learn healthy eating and COOKING, and the benefit of exercise. It seems to me both options..well it will be a lifetime to get there!
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I try not to be judgmental for those who choose this option, but I can’t help feeling its what most deem an “easy way out”, and its anything but, and so much more dangerous to yourself than if you lose the weight on your own in a slow, steady pace.
I have a friend who opted for this this summer, and what was meant to be close to outpatient surgery landed her in the hospital for two weeks and then she was in and out for the next two months. I wonder if she had known this would happen if she would have opted for something else?
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Great post. I was checking constantly this blog and I’m impressed! Extremely useful information particularly the last part
I care for such information much. I was seeking this particular information for a very long time. Thank you and good luck.
I don’t think weight loss is a one size fits all kind of solution.
What is a good plan for me may not work for someone else. I think it is best decided between everyone and there doctor.
I love that you had the hope that you could do it yourself.
I’ve read lots of “weight-loss program” and “diet” books/websites, but the best way for me personally to lose weight is to design my OWN weight-loss plan… we know ourselves the best and thus we know what can really work for ourselves. Sometimes through LOTS of trial and error.
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Weight loss surgery came about because of the need for it. If people could do it the way you did Diane, it wouldn’t exist. If the situation is serious enough, or time is a factor, or disease such as diabetes is killing the person, the options become limited. With this in mind, medicine has done the best it can with perfecting the techniques and minimizing the dangers involved in these types of operations.
I never considered gastric bypass. Even if I money weren’t a consideration, I would not have gone under the knife.
To each her own though…
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I researched weight loss surgery a couple of months ago and even went to a reputable clinic for an assessment. I was convinced that I was going to do it, but in the end I never even completed the assessment. Somewhere in me there is still a conviction that I can do this by myself.
This clinic had a multi-faceted approach, with endocrinologist, psychologist, psychiatrists, nutritionists, bio-kineticists, etc on staff to help you prepare for the surgery and adapt after the surgery. So, once I decided against the surgery, I thought “why not assemble my own team of people to assist me, if that is what it will take?”. I am currently doing that and I believe that this will help me lose the weight on my own.
I agree with Sagan’s assertion that we need to gather as much information as possible, but ultimately work out an eating plan that works for us specifically. We are after all different in so many ways.
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