Why do we work so hard to lose weight and get healthy, only to sabotage our own efforts? It would seem counter intuitive that after eating healthy for a period of time we would deliberately choose to pig out on a decadent dessert, or fat laden restaurant meal. Even as the food is going down you know you shouldn’t be eating it, but you can’t seem to stop. I did this more times that I can even remember, but here’s an example of one particularly bad decision I made ,that set me back in my weight loss efforts.
We were given a gift membership to Sam’s Club, where the physical store and the size of the packages are enormous. John and I loaded up the girls, and eagerly set off to try out our new card. We loaded the shopping cart with huge packages of paper towels, toilet paper and other dry goods. We also stocked up on bread, flour and treats. Treats like chocolate chips by the pound, cookies by the dozens, 50 pack of chips, and candy in boxes meant for concession stand. When we got home, our pantry was full, and my mind was spinning with all the eating possibilities.
Did I forget to mention I was supposed to be dieting? I forgot too, as I ripped open the 6 pound box of Hershey’s candy, and began sorting through to find my favorite kind – Mr. Goodbar. I opened and ate one after another, just about as fast as humanly possible. Each time I thought to myself, “This will be the last one.” But they were so good, I just couldn’t stop. Needless to say, that day was the last day of my diet.
Has this ever happened to you? We don’t set out to sabotage ourselves, but we somehow end up making choices that sabotage our weight loss efforts. And if you are anything like I was, then once you are on a roll, it’s hard to stop.
I would get so mad at myself after I did these kinds of things. Why couldn’t I just say no? What was wrong with me that I had so little control? Once I finally got started on the right path to both health, and weight loss, I still struggled with self-sabotage. Even after I had lost 25 or 30 pounds, I would find myself heading to the kitchen to whip up a batch or two of sugar cookies. Although I had rid the kitchen of chocolate, I still had the ingredients on hand to make sugar cookies, and other non-chocolate treats. I’d start pulling out the butter and sugar, and then stop. I’d actually talk out loud to myself, “What am I doing?” and more importantly, “Why am I doing this?”
Often times I could trace the answers to an unsatisfied emotional need rather than a physical need. I was experiencing some type of stressful life situation, and reverting back to old habits was easy and comforting. More often than not, I could stop myself before eating a food I didn’t need, and really didn’t want. I stopped sabotaging myself by learning to recognize the pattern, and training myself to make a different choice.
I realized that when I started to sabotage my own efforts to get healthy, the only person I was hurting was myself. I also acknowledged that it wasn’t about the food, but about the behavior. Just like any other bad habit, I worked on breaking this habit by recognition, diversion, and diligence. I recognized when I was making a bad choice, diverted myself by finding another activity to do, and diligently practiced changing. I knew I wasn’t hurting my weight loss efforts on purpose, so I didn’t beat myself up about it. I just worked really hard at breaking the habit.
You may not ever do this to yourself, but if you do, be encouraged that you can stop. Self-sabotage in any form isn’t healthy, and when you are talking about food choices, the consequences go beyond just the number on the scale. Today, if you find yourself overindulging for “no good reason” try focusing on something else, and diverting your attention to a person or project that is life affirming.
Do you every find yourself in this situation? Diane
Your post is the story of my life. Self-sabotage is what the food addict does without even knowing it. That is the insidiousness of food addiction or any other addiction.
Fortunately, there is an answer. It is not as easy as eating an entire bag of chocolate bars but it is more filling. It is not as instantaneous as the feeling of that first bite of a binge but it is longer-lasting. Diversion is one of the actions that work for me today. I also need to use the the tools that keep me from picking up in the first place and recognizing the sometimes too subtle clues that I am about to begin the behaviors of eating mindlessly or pick up something that will trigger the addiction side of my disease.
Jane~
Keepingthepoundsoff.com
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This post really hits home for me. I often let my emotions take over and cause me to eat. I need to get control of it!
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I think we all have done that self sabotage in one form or another Diane. The catch 22 that makes us crazy with ourselves. It can be broken but we have to want to & we have to make the choices necessary to be better to ourselves!
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Thanks, I needed this message today. I thought a lot about trying to comfort myself with food last night and finally fell asleep without my desired object.
Just what I needed to read today. After losing over 130lbs I have been slowing sabotaging myself for the past 9 months , watching the scale creep up pound by pound until I have gained back 14 lbs already. I know the whole thing is emotional. None of it is about food . Alot of stressful things have been going on and I have chosen food as my medication.
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I’ve found myself in that situation so many times – which is why I do things like green smoothie fasts! They help keep me on track and motivated and prevent the self-sabotage from taking over.
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It is like you wrote this just for me! I am in the middle of trying to rein back in a 5 day holiday spree of sugar and weight gain. It is so hard to get back on track sometimes. It is so worth it though. Great advice and helpful motivation!
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Absolutely – I just posted about my weight gain cuprits yesterday as i’m gaining and I know why – self-sabotage indeed! Too many treats, too much giving in at work when i’m not hungry and too much alcohol. SIGH.
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Oh, the agony! I know this pattern all too well. I am so aware of emotional eating that sometimes I feel hopeless because I have the knowledge that in fact it is about feelings and not food and I still choose to binge.
I have found that being productive, even just a tiny bit, is the best diversion for me. Mail sorted, dishes done, baby bathed, one basket of laundry etc… in the end I feel like something “good” is replacing the stress of whatever situation I’m dealing with. I have noticed recently that I have to pay attention to when I am just plain tired. In that case, more housework only unglues me faster and sets me up for a deferred binge. It is all a learning process. The name of the game is pay attention!
I have still self sabotage, but usually with really negative thoughts about myself and my situation. Once I get one bad thought in my head it is hard to stop. I get like this with food, only when I’ve restrcted all of my favorite foods. If I give myself permission to have one (but only if I really truely want it and have thought through the impacts) I usually won’t binge eat.
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Diane–this post is right on–at least for me. I can’t count the number of times over the years that I have self-sabotaged by eating one candy bar, one bar, one piece of cake–one after another until I was sick. I realize that this type of behavior is a factor in food addiction. I’m now working a plan that helps me with that. Thanks for sharing your experience of self-sabotage, as well as being such a wonderful example of a person who has worked so hard to become healthy and fit.
This was probably the essence of my work with my life coach… and it was amazing to discover how many aspects there were to this kind of behavior – most prominently fear. I still get scared sometimes, but now I recognize it and can get around it, over it or even through it if needs be. It has made all the difference.
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Oh my gosh, I wish I had this yesterday! I totally went bonkers yesterday afternoon. There was a bake sale at work I was fine until 2pm. I saw there was brownies and lost it. I bought the first one, chocolate filled with chocolate chips then 2 more! No question in my mind I completely shut down my inner critic and ate. Then because of that I licensed myself to eat CheezIts when I got home. I finished the day out better I didn’t eat, but just the same. I had a good workout thankfully. So yes, unfortunately I know exactly what it means.
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Self sabotage – also something that I did in the past and something I know so much about. Also told myself that “this” will be the last one, just to find myself a bit later on that I’ve eaten the whole packet.
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Great post, once again, Diane. Self-sabotage is exactly what it is … and nobody’s choice but our own.
Yes, I find myself self sabotaging still. It’s a large part of my problem and why I don’t lose faster.
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