It is still interesting to me that when I first started losing weight (for the final time), I didn’t start out with a particular weight in mind. Rather, I just started on my journey happy when I lost a pound and ecstatic when I could throw or giveaway another pair of pants or dress because it was too big.
I vividly remember losing the first 10 lbs., and getting under 300 lbs. That was a huge achievement for me, as my diets rarely survived losing 5 lbs., much less 10 or more. I stood on the scale that morning and thought, “Yay me. I lost 10 lbs.” I did not stand on the scale and say, “Only 148 lbs. to go.”
Why?
I think that I was honestly worried that I would actually be able to continue losing weight – after all – I had a horrible, terrible, embarrassing track record at weight loss success. So I didn’t set a number.
That was a freeing experience for me. No longer did I have to achieve a certain weight to make myself happy, nor was I bound and determined that I must lose a certain number of pounds per week. Instead, not being bound by a number let me just “do my own thing” and be content in the fact that I no longer weighed 305 pounds.
There is nothing wrong with setting goals, and I set lots of goals for myself when I lost weight and now. When I was losing weight, I set goals on how far I could walk in 30 minutes, avoiding excess sweets for an entire day, vowing to eat just one portion of casserole rather than two, running a 5K and never shopping in the often demeaning plus–sized department store again.
As I dropped more weight, people started asking me what my goal weight was. I honestly replied, “I’m not sure. I’ll know when I get there.” And I did. One morning, I weighed myself (as I always did) and saw that I weighed about 148. That’s a good weight for me, I decided and put myself immediately into maintenance mode.
At my height of 5’10″, I could have weighed a bit more and been healthy, or weighed a bit less and still been within most weight charts. Either way would have been okay medically, but that weight felt “right” and “sustainable” to me.
Fortunately, I’ve been able to float within a 3 to 5 lb. range for the last 13 years, excluding pregnancy weight. So that was the “easy to maintain” number for me.
I’d encourage you to set goals that are appropriate for yourself, but don’t be bound by the magic number. That number may be perfect for you – but it could be too low to maintain or too difficult to achieve. Conversely, it could be too high to be medically healthy.
Instead of binding yourself to a number, let your fitness level and emotional satisfaction with your appearance and weight be your guide. I’d be willing to bet that your “inner voice” knows what is a healthy weight for you.
Have you set a firm, “not-to-be-shaken” goal? Or do you not know where you want to end up? What works for you? Diane
You Are Not Bound by a Number
May 18, 2011 By
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[...] ‘You Are Not Bound by a Number’ by Diane, FIT TO THE FINISH “I’d encourage you to set goals that are appropriate for yourself, but don’t be bound by the magic number [...] your “inner voice” knows what is a healthy weight for you.” - Fit To The Finish, Source. [...]
What a great post Diane! This is me, the magic number as you already know from reading my blog, I struggle with it.
Lately its been agreeable and I’ve accepted what it says and I feel great where I am at. I wouldn’t be disappointed if I lost more weight though.
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This post rocks.
Love the perspetive about not trying to control the outcome…just keep showing up and doing what you can each day. The outcome really does take care of itself!
HopefulandFree´s last fabulous musings ..escaping traction
I have to be honest, when I am reading blogs and they have the pounds and the dates all mapped out (like if I lose 3 pounds a week, I will weight X by the 4th of July), I cringe.
In my opinion, like you said, it is the habits – eating at meal time, eating portions, balance between food groups, power walking, free weights or other resistance training, sleep, water, etc which are the goals. The number on the scale is the output of those habits/practice, but the actions are key/focus.
Vickie´s last fabulous musings ..I dropped enabling groups at the start of my journey- I am just now ready to start chosing wisely and add positive things back into my life
I totally agree with this mind set. It was more important that the number was going down or staying still – as long as it was not going up I could be satisfied one day at a time.
I used to go to bed asking God to “poof” make me 200 pounds thinner by morning. One day, after losing weight on a journey of more than 2 years I was 200 pounds lighter. Though it did not happen in my conception of a day, I am in awe of the miracle that is keeping the pounds off one day at a time.
It never worked for me to say “I will loss X pounds by XX day. Today I do not have a final number in my head. I would like to lose a few more pounds – but it is more important that I not gain back the 220+ pounds I have already lost.
Jane~
Keepingthepoundsoff.com
Jane C´s last fabulous musings ..Road Trip Day Eight – Mothers Day
I do have a number in mind. I think it is doable. It is higher than my goal of years past, when I was younger and my metabolism was faster and I had not yet done all this yo-yo dieting. But what I really have learned in the past year or so is that the number is really not what matters, at least for me. What matters is my behavior. It won’t matter if I reach my goal weight unless my eating is under control. And I am confident if I make the permanent, necessary behavioral changes, that number will eventually come easily.
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I have always had a number in mind but even though I have been there before it is difficult to maintain. I know that I am higher now than I am comfortable with so I really like your approach. I am going to be happy with each pound that I can melt away. Now my goal is to be under 130. Before my goal has always been 123 and I am at 134 today. One pound at a time no matter how long it takes and then my goal will be just to keep it under 130.
When I was younger, I wanted to be a certain weight which wads really hard fro mt body type. Now that I know muscle weighs more than fat, I don’t set unrealistic goals or ones that really don’t matter if I am still wearing the jeans I did years ago & they fit fine.
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I just stumbled across your blog and read this post – can I say that I am 5’10″ and 148 (+/- a few pounds) is my happy weight too!! I actually got down to around 140 in my weight-loss efforts, but that was not a sustainable weight for me; it was the weight I could maintain if I was strict with my intake every day, with little room for enjoyment, or savoring the occasional treat. What fun is that??
) and not stressing too much about a “magic number” provided by a chart or magazine article!
So, I am a firm believer in letting our individual bodies tell us when it’s time to stop losing weight (as well as telling us when it’s time to shed a few
Again this is such a good post for me right now. I am usually so tempted to make unrealistic goals for losing weight whether it’s the weekly goal or the final goal. Just this week I started trying to enjoy the everyday journey of the losing weight process and let the weight come off in its time. I think possibly one of my big mistakes the last several years was making the weight losing process so stressful that I could not keep it up, so I always gained everything back.
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I knew I had 100 pounds to lose but that was a scary number to me. So I decided to shoot for 50. When I lost 50 pounds I new I could keep going. I said I’d lose another 25. Then I reached 100 pounds lost.
It worked for me to have “baby” steps. Now that I am about 6 pounds under my goal weight my only goal is that I want to stay where I’m at. If I lose those last 4 it would be cool, but if I don’t it’s okay. I just want to have enough of a buffer between the goal weight and where I’m at!
Wow, I really needed this today. Thank you for sharing what so many of us struggle with and how you overcame. I hope you understand how valuable your posts are. The numbers are really messing with me. When I lose a pound I am obsessed with the math and the months/weeks/upcoming event and what I will weigh with the given formula of loss over time. It is usually unacceptable to me and so in despair, I pack on another five pounds because being ONLY six pounds lighter by the 4th of July or whatever seems like nothing. Ridiculous I know, but all about being chained to numbers and never satisfied. Thank you for this today.
I kind of just ended up where I did when my surgeon told me I had lost enough. I’m in the normal BMI range for my height and once I surpassed that, I really stopped counting. I’m far enough below the highest weight in the normal range that I have some leeway but I feel comfortable here at 151. I try to keep it within 5 pound of this weight.
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” I could have weighed a bit more and been healthy, or weighed a bit less and still been within most weight charts. Either way would have been okay medically, but that weight felt “right” and “sustainable” to me.”
I love this, Diane. I actually found my “sustainable” weight by losing a little more and then having it come back up around 5 pounds to “sustainable” when I went through a period of extreme stress. (Yes the tendency to stress eat didn’t go away when I slimmed down.) Would I rather weigh 5 pounds less? Absolutely. However, it takes a lot of vigilance to be 5 pounds lighter…AND I wasn’t that much fun to be around because I had to really stay in a narrow calorie intake range to stay there. So maintaining a weight around 30 pounds less than my peak weight rather than 35 pounds less, is DOABLE. I have the flexibility to eat a little more when I want to or have a social occasion to go to, something I can live with longterm.
On the other hand, I’m not willing to be 5 pounds heavier than I am now because even if it were okay on a chart, it looks “thick” on a five feet tall body (taller women can hide it a little better). So I think I’ve found “sustainable.” And my blood pressure is around 120 over 85 now. Not a perfect lower number, but WAY better than the 160 over 100 value when I was in my early 40s.
Great post!
I weighed almost 50 lbs more than I weigh now at one point. My first goal was to get back to a healthy weight. I was about 15 pounds heavier than I am right now for quite some time, and it was considered a healthy weight for my height (I’m 5’11″). But I knew that I could and should “clean” things up a bit more. And I did and very slowly lost another 15 pounds.
I love the idea of a “sustainable” weight! I could probably weigh a few pounds less, but it would not be easily “sustainable”…
Andrea@WellnessNotes´s last fabulous musings ..Veggie Chickpea Stew
Great post — so many base their happiness on the number instead of what feels right. I packed away the scale last Fall and won’t go by a scale number anymore.
Gina´s last fabulous musings ..5K Pioneer Style
I have a “not to be shaken weight” and im 2 lbs over it….for the past 6 months..crackers! For me its a slippery slope
I too feel like you. I know what my goal weight is and I know that this is appropriate to me. I am not going to compare myself to anyone but me
blackhuff´s last fabulous musings ..Dreams for the children
I don’t think numbers really serve as a motivator with weight loss. The do more to hang over your head than inspire- at least for me. More important than a number for a final destination, I choose abilities for that. To be able to walk for long periods of time without pain, to have endless stamina and vitality, to have a complexion that looks vibrant and so forth. Those things will be with me every moment of every day.
Diane´s last fabulous musings ..Wearing the Cone of Shame
Oh, I go back and forth on this, I think! Because I am struggling with maintenance mode and not disciplining myself to lose more, a few hard goals are important. I KNOW I can get below 160, that is my hard goal. A healthy BMI for my height and build would land me at around 145, so that would be my ideal at the moment, but my major life weight goal is to get below 160 and not get above it (except for more pregnancies) ever again.
I need to stay focused and get down this scale. I know what I have to do, it is just a matter of the daily choices being more for weight loss than maintenance
Taryl´s last fabulous musings ..The scale isnt everything
Diane, it also sounded like you had such a positive twist. You said Yay! for 10 pounds lost when others would have cried at that same point. You were thrilled when you went down a size when others would have been dissatisfied at that same size. There is a magic in that positive twist. When I started to look for fun things in life and fitness, I started to lose weight quickly. Great post!
Marion
I have no idea what I will end up weighing and I’m not really that interested. I suspect that, like you, I will go by what feels good and comfortable for me.
Hanlie´s last fabulous musings ..The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Great post! I haven’t actually set a weight goal for myself. I just feel like I have so much to lose, it’s really tough to say what weight will be right for me. I’ll know when I get there, and I know it’s not here! I prefer to set goals like “exercise x amount” or “don’t nibble” or “pass up dessert tonight.” Those I can directly control. I can’t even directly control the number on the scale.
Laura Jane´s last fabulous musings ..Amazing Protein Pancakes!
Great post.Thanks for your sharing.I will learn the way you lost weight with the number
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