It is so important that you have a great support system while trying to get to a healthier weight and stay there.
Here’s a picture of my supportive husband John and I yesterday on Father’s Day, and John with all the kids.
John never made me feel terrible or ugly when I weighed 305 lbs., but rather tried his best to make me feel like I was attractive. I remember him encouraging me to try on new clothes when we went shopping, and encouraging me whenever I tried another fruitless attempt at dieting.
Looking back, I don’t think I appreciated that as much as I could have. In retrospect, I had enough bad feelings about myself that no matter what he said – I didn’t really take it to heart. In my mind I’d think, “Oh, he doesn’t really mean that. I am a fat cow.” That’s what I’d think, and it probably showed in my facial expressions.
When I started that last, final diet -he was supportive as he always had been. Only that last time he actually had something to cheer about. You see, with the other diets, I had never lost enough weight for anyone to cheer me on. That final time though – John could tell I was losing weight and encouraged me in several ways.
He didn’t bring me candy – ever.
He validated my new cooking techniques by trying the new foods and seeming to enjoy them.
He made me feel better about my journey when others were trying to discourage me.
He went with me when I shopped for new clothes and helped me find well-fitting, flattering clothes.
I don’t know if you feel this way, but a good support system can be so helpful because this journey isn’t an easy one. People who have never struggled with their weight may not completely understand the intricacies involved in the mental and physical weight loss process, but people who care for you can still offer you support and encouragement.
I found that having John was enough, but I’ve known a lot of people who like to surround themselves with a wide group of people as support. Either way is good, and the main thing is that you have people in your life that you can count on to help you over those inevitable humps that come along the way.
Do you have one person as a support system, or a group of supportive friends? Diane
Giveaway Winners from Sabra!! Congratulations to: LoveCatsinCA and http://affectionforfitness.blogspot.com
right now my journey is my world of work.
for the past, uh, 17 years Ive been hammering away at and trying to create my world of work.
I could not do with without the support of my husband.
on all levels.
You are very lucky, Diane!
Amy´s last fabulous musings ..Back to the gym
You are truly blessed to have a husband who is supportive about your healthy living. I know so many women who don’t have a husband who is so supportive and that can mean their downfall. I too am blessed to have a supportive husband and although he is supportive, I do have a group I also visit every day and read blogs like yours.
blackhuff´s last fabulous musings ..A pill to erase bad memories
I am fortunate enough to have 3 support systems. My husband is my #1 support. He is my rock! He is my cheerleader. He is my shoulder t cry on. My punching bag to hit. I could not have accomplished all that I have without him.
My #2 support comes from a group of friends I have made through my Weight Watchers meetings. Support like this has been so instrumental in my success. People that have actually walked in my shoes. We truly understand how hard a weight loss journey can be.
My #3 support system is the blogging community. I am a fairly new “blogger” and continue to be amazed at the support that I find on blogs. What a fabulous community this is! Everyone is so open and honest and willing to share with one another. It feels less lonely on the hard days and more exciting when I have good news to report! Thank you for being in my support system. Thank you for inspiring me!
A support system is so important…I had to fight alone for about a year…now have my hubby on board with me…which is wonderful.
Marcelle´s last fabulous musings ..Eating needs some attention
You have a beautiful family!
My husband is very supportive of me and encourages me all of the time. My sister has also become a huge motivator for me- especially when it comes to exercise. It’s so important to have those people cheering you on!
Alissa´s last fabulous musings ..Happy Father’s Day!
Having a supportive significant partner is often the make or break factor with almost every major challenge in our lives!
Yes, I think a support system is so important! I changed what we eat quite a bit a few years ago, and we also stopped eating out but on rare occasions. I couldn’t have made these changes without the support of my husband, and I don’t think we would be as healthy today as we are…
Andrea@WellnessNotes´s last fabulous musings ..Making Healthy Choices While Traveling
Diane, beautiful pics & such a lovely post! I agree with Dr. J – support within the home is so important & necessary! I have always been my own person & doing my own thing on my journey & when I was younger, my hubby did not eat like I did & actually we still eat different but he eats healthier than when he was younger BUT he never got in the way of my journey & maintenance & has always been supportive of my eating & workouts & yes, craziness about it!
Jody – Fit at 53´s last fabulous musings ..Gratitude Monday
Like you, my biggest and best support has always been my husband Bob. He never teases, ridicules of belittles me , and is always my strongest supporter/backer/partner, no matter what life tosses our way. Weight gain, weigh loss, infertility, high risk pregnancies, infant loss, parenting a special needs child- he is there. Good support systems are such an important foundation in life ! Your family is beautiful, and I think it is wonderful that so many of them were pictured in bare feet. Summertime should be spent in bare feet when you are a child- it helps to create life long memories.
Diane´s last fabulous musings ..Lists areonly good if you read them
I read this post and thought,
you got out of your own way,
and he was never in your way.
He was standing by ready to help.
My husband is/was too.
Such a good post.
Vickie´s last fabulous musings ..Is the series working
Lucky you:) My husband have never made me feel unattractive, no matter what my weight. BUT, he sure does bring a lot of crap into the house for himself that he doesn’t need to eat either.
Karen@WaistingTime´s last fabulous musings ..Isn’t It Ironic
Diane, I have always been so proud of you. I am still amazed at all the weight you lost and how you have kept it off through multiple pregnancies. You have brought a much healthier lifestyle to our family. You are an amazing wife and mom. I thank God everyday for you. Love, John
Support really is the key. I can hardly imagine making the changes that I am without the support of my husband. I’m looking at yet again making some major dietary changes and he’s been so good about my supporting my new cooking endeavors. (Except for kale chips. He hates kale chips!)
Desert Agave´s last fabulous musings ..Where I am Again
1) A felicitous family background is 90% of everything in life, I think.
2) I’m torn between thinking OMGSEVENKIDS?! and thinking that you have an amazingly attractive family.
I would say it’s primarily one person – Austin! He sees the good and the bad, endures the cooking sessions and early morning workouts, etc. My friends are supportive, but he is kind of over the top supportive!
fittingbackin´s last fabulous musings ..Book Review- New Recipe- New Tips & How-Tos Section
My best support and #1 fan definitely is my husband. I am blessed to have him in my life.
What a sweet post, Diane! My husband was like that too. He always enjoyed me, no matter what. We’re lucky to be married to our best friends.
Such a beautiful family! Yes, I too am thankful for a very supportive, sensitive, and helpful husband! He is my main supporter.
Brenda´s last fabulous musings ..Learning to Say No to ANTS
What a cool support system you had and have. I have several people who make-up my support system and it’s definitely nice when people have your back…
‘Drea´s last fabulous musings ..Steel Cut Oats & Egg Whites or The Gospel According to Chiquita
Oh yes! I do have a support system in my husband as well. I can’t talk to him like I can my blog friends only because he doesn’t understand all the “feelings” that go on, but he has always supported me and when overweight he never treated me differently.
I started blogging again, I just couldn’t stay away
Sheri @ TheMotivationalGirl´s last fabulous musings ..Happy Fathers Day!
I definitely think a support system is important. My main support is through my blog. My husband never makes me feel bad for my weight and does congratulate me as I lose weight. However, he’s not too into trying new healthy foods.
Laura Jane @ Recovering Chocoholic´s last fabulous musings ..Simple Healthy Menu Plan
My BF was my only support system. My mom was a horrible food pusher. she would pile things on my plate no matter how much i told her to stop. Always brought junk into the house. I learned to keep quiet about trying to loose weight because a lot of people who were much heavier than me were telling me that im too skinny to loose weight (which obviousely I wasnt)
pawsitivelife.wordpress.com´s last fabulous musings ..Canada- Fact and Fiction
Oh my god! You look great
I’m excited! Thanks so much Diane and Sabra….
Your husband sounds very similar to mine, he has never been anything but encouraging and supportive, and even at my heaviest he never implied I was anything less than beautiful to him. He doesn’t play the diet police – if I ask for a candy bar from the store he brings me one without question, trusting my judgment – but he doesn’t sabotage and try to peddle junk to me, either. He strikes that wonderful balance of caring and interested in what I am doing, without exerting much of an opinion or any control.
He is the most valuable person in my life, and this is just one of the small ways he shows me he loves me
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