When do you celebrate a weight loss? When do you declare yourself “cured, and fit, and whole?” We’ve all read the stories of people who have lost significant amounts of weight, and then gained it back. Goodness, there are celebrity spokespeople who even with all their vast financial resources, have problems with maintenance.
This is a question I struggle with myself, because while every pound lost is a victory, should there be a measure of “wait and see” before we celebrate in earnest? I don’t have the answer to this question, so I’d love to hear your thoughts.
There are people all over the globe who have lost weight, and then gained it back. For a long, long time I would have been one of them. I never lost any significant weight before my final try, but there were times during my diet #342, that I temporarily lost 20 or 30 pounds. After I lost the weight, I celebrated my success, and then saw myself regain the weight. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, but it always came back.
So when do you celebrate? Is there the perfect amount of time that needs to pass before we can declare someone an “expert” (if there is even such a thing) at weight loss? Let me tell you a story that happened right after I lost my weight.
I had reached my goal weight, and at the suggestion of my pastor, wrote a workbook and developed a weight loss class. We advertised the class, and a room full of women showed up. I got up, introduced myself, and told my story. The first class went well, and then at the very end of class a lady said, “How long has it been since you got to your goal weight?” I said, “Three months.” She nodded knowingly and when class was over she left. She later called me, and told me that while she was very impressed with my weight loss, felt that I should have maintained the loss for a longer period of time before I taught a class. I told her I understood, but after I hung up the phone, I got upset.
I had lost the weight. I was cured. I had changed. But was that too soon to declare myself changed? I’m still not sure how I feel about that. For yes, I have been fortunate enough to maintain for a long time, but was I completely changed right after I lost the weight?
Honestly, no.
For a period of time, I was a process of finding my way through maintenance. After I reached my goal weight, and declared myself cured, I still had to figure out what maintenance looked like for me. How much more food should I eat? How much exercise was enough? How much should I let my weight fluctuate?
Looking back, the lady in my class was probably right. It probably was too soon for me to say, “Yes – I can teach you.” It’s true that I could show them how I lost weight, and encourage them on their journey, but it was also true that I hadn’t proven to them, or myself, that the lifestyle change was real.
I think that every pound lost, and every healthy change should be celebrated. I always got excited every time another piece of clothing fit, or the scale moved in the right direction. But those celebrations of losses are not exactly what I’m talking about. I’m talking about the declaration of long-term success.
How long do you think you have to maintain before you can declare yourself done? Diane
when Im done…Im dead.
It’s always always a work in MAKING GOOD CHOICES progress for this misfit.
Miz´s last fabulous musings ..Gratitude boards & 5 year olds.
I don’t have the answer either! I have been maintaining for 3 years-but still struggle with big fluctuations so I do not feel cured. Will I ever feel cured? Do you feel cured? That would be amazing if I actually felt like I didn’t have to work at keeping the weight off!!
Jill´s last fabulous musings ..The Active, Fun Life I Love
Jill – there’s the rub. I’d like to feel I didn’t have to work at keeping the weight off, but I do. Day-in and day-out…
I guess I feel like Jane C in that I’m “in remission”, but not “cured”. Perhaps the people who have regained felt they were cured without fully acknowledging the work and commitment it takes to maintain?
I am in remission and that is a cause for celebration each and every day I am not over eating, bingeing, or in mental, emotional or physical pain over food. I have been maintaining weight loss for almost 5 years. This is what I have been cured of:
I am cured of ever thinking that I can go back to eating whatever I want.
I am cured of thinking I can take breaks from the healthy eating plan I follow every day
I am cured of thinking there is a magical potion or equation that will make me be someone who never had a problem with food
I am cured of thinking I will ever be done. . . .
I would rather be someone who is in remission, successfully keeping the pounds off one day at a time than to be someone who is ‘cured’ and then relapsed only to never find the way back to another ‘cure.’
Thank you for this topic. Every opportunity to be reminded that I can never consider myself ‘done’ is (in my opinion) a healthy reminder to keep my ego in check. Again, thank you.
Jane
Keepingthepoundsoff.com
Jane C´s last fabulous musings ..Entenmann’s Tasty Candles???
I think if one can eat healthy and exercise from your start date for 2 years on, then one can say that you are done. Like for me, when 18 August 2012 comes and I am still eating healthy and exercising with a healthy skinnier (thin) body, then I will declare myself done.
blackhuff´s last fabulous musings ..Days being too short
Carla said it for me cause that was exactly what I was going to say & I say it often on my blog – I am always a work in progress! Yes, I have maintained for a long time BUT my maintenance has always been striving to be the best I can always.
Jody – Fit at 53´s last fabulous musings ..Gratitude Monday
Oh you could be writing for me today! I am working on several posts about this because it is evolving in my mind. I can clearly say that despite being at my goal weight I am not yet “there.” Because for me, as a yo-yo dieter, I have been at my goal weight many times and regained and I know now it is about so much more. I am on a quest for a “normal” relationship with food. When I find that, whatever it is, and stick there for months, I may consider myself maintaining.
Karen@WaistingTime´s last fabulous musings ..A Bike By Any Other Name
I have looked and looked for your original post on this topic. I remember what a gem it was. Unique topic that is under-discussed.
So, when I saw it again today, I was very thrilled.
First I think it is great you can smile about this now and you did not react (too) defensively then.
I remember that stage, when one is first in maintenance, where one feels like ‘king of the hill’.
I loved what Jane C wrote above, because we either recommit each and every day, or the weight slowly starts to accumulate. Thinking ‘done’ is never a good sign. Weight fluctuations are also not a good sign – it is truly a slippery slope.
There is very little difference between weight loss and maintenance. Weight loss is practice for how we will live the rest of our lives.
Time frame is different for each person. I would guess somewhere in the 5-10 year range. And again, that is not a time frame to be ‘done’ it is a time frame to have had enough practice that we know what we have to do, we don’t fight it, we do it, every day.
PS – Linking to this one and writing my own post later in the week (that is why I have looked for first one on and off at various points earlier in the year, if you know where that original post is and can link to it, that would be great).
Really appreciated this today. I’m in the last leg of my 200+ lb. weight loss and trying to work hard on mentally/emotionally preparing myself for maintenance – deciding when I’m “done” and figuring out what kind of balance I’m going to need to commit to in order to make these changes work long-term. A blogger once wrote that maintenance is all the work of weight loss without the glory – I’m always so glad to read that it will be hard work, because I truly appreciate the honesty. This is going to be a challenge for the rest of my life!
Mary´s last fabulous musings ..BTH: Week Two
This is a good question…for me I celebrated “maintenance” after staying under my goal weight for a year. I’ve kept it off now for almost 3 years and I feel confident that I’ll keep it off. I fluctuate a good 2-8 pounds throughout the year, depending on what’s going on and what I am training for. But I am happy to say I am still under 150!
Lisa´s last fabulous musings ..A Good Start
Mizfit said it perfectly!
For me, losing weight and maintaining weight loss are so similar in day-to-day healthy choices, that I don’t think I’ll ever be “done.”
I’m never done. It’s to easy to think “It’s over, go back to the old ways.” My weight might bounce around a little, but it is never going to just rocket back up again because I have pay attention to it.
Lori´s last fabulous musings ..100-mile ride. AKA I am a centurian again!
I’m a fan of be happy where you are and always strive to improve so I guess I have to say celebrate every little improvement!
Maybe 3 months was a little premature, but I think that woman was a little out of line in saying that to you!
I don’t know if you can ever call it “permanent…” One of my slender co-workers (4 inches taller but around the same weight as I am) put on five pounds after she fractured her foot. She’s never had an issue with gaining weight ever–but inactivity did it to her. Can I say I would never gain weight if I were in the situation of illness or injury? No. Exercise is part of what maintains the weight loss, particularly in my late 40s.
A year ago, I weighed what I do now. I kept working out and eating right. In November, I was at my lowest weight. It was 4 or 5 pounds lighter than I am now. Then I had some major stressors with my dad getting ill, my mother in law passing and then the holidays. Am I a weight maintenance failure because I weigh what I did a year ago and not what I did at my lightest? No. But I don’t judge “maintenance” by weighing what I did in November or never stress eating again. I judge maintenance by weighing what I did a year ago even if it dropped a little in November. I judge maintenance by weighing around 15 pounds more than I did in high school and it being roughly that for the past year. And I judge maintenance by no longer having high blood pressure… I judge maintenance by hopping on the scale regularly and cutting back if I see an uptick–but at the same time, not being overly obsessive. I did NOT take the scale with me on vacation and I stayed within my “zone” just fine…
If I weigh 5 pounds less than I do now, or if I weigh 5 pounds more, I’m still at a healthy BMI and healthy blood pressure. If my weight goes past 5 pounds above its present weight, then my blood pressure starts to creep up (and I’d have to go up a pant size–no thanks!)
I think fluctuating 5 pounds or so over the course of six months counts as being in maintenance, although I think we all have to be vigilant if we were ever heavier not to go back up larger amounts.
I personally think this is a lifestyle so has no end. You can never return to old habits as you will gain.
So for me, I’m not done and never will see myself as done as maintaining your new weight takes just as much work as losing,
Very interesting topic. Thanks
Well, I thought I had “permanently” lost a certain amount of weight after keeping it off for 3 years. Then mother-in-law moved in our house last year and criticized me relentlessly all day long for 8 months straight. She was awake all night long banging doors open and closed, so that I was severely sleep deprived for months. I cried nearly every single day of this 8 months. My husband and I talked about divorce on most days. I gained 18 pounds imploding instead of strangling someone.
Mother-in-law got her own apartment now. Since the move, I’ve lost most of those extra pounds, and my life is happy again. But I learned a good lesson that, for me, nothing is “permanent.” If my buttons are pushed enough times, with absolutely no recuperation time, I can easily relapse.
Entirely agree with Miz.
Since life has a nasty habit of dropping a bombshell at inconvenient moments, I’ll always have to remain mindful that the excess weight is waiting in the wings for another chance to plop onto my posterior!
I won’t ever be done, won’t ever be a total success so ‘end of journey’ celebrations are put on hold as I will always remain a ‘work in progress’.
Deniz´s last fabulous musings ..Stalled…
I think you should be celebrating from day 1! Healthy living is a journey and not just a number on the scale. Additional accomplishments such as better health, better choices and more active lifestyle all need to be acknowledged and continously celebrated which will only keep the motivation high to keep the weight off.
And I’m indignant on your behalf (although you might not want me to be) because I don’t see the point of that original phone call. Unnecessary and hurtful behavior.
I don’t even think it is a matter of goal-reaching or time, but maybe a pattern of choices and sheer tenacity. Goodness knows I am not at goal yet, and yet… Almost three years of consistently losing or maintaining my weight, through several stressful phases of life? I am not all the way down to where I want to be, and yet I mentally place myself in the category of ‘success/maintainer’ because I know my behavior and choices are leading me where I want to go. I have no fear of backsliding to 250 pounds or more again, or even more than two or three in the upward direction, because I have made a decision and learned the skills to back it up.
I’ve been at this a long time, as far as these weight things go, with the full expectation of continuing what I am doing now into the rest of my days. Nothing is a sure thing, of course, but I’m about as reasonably assured of it as I can get. Skills, practice, and time all combine to proven success. And while I’m not at my arbitrary magical number, I do believe my personal success has proven itself enough that my advice on the topic isn’t void by inexperience or backsliding.
Taryl´s last fabulous musings ..It figures, right?
Great post and question! I am sitting at about 3 years at my goal weight. I have a 5-pound zone I like to stay in, and have accepted that dropping below that is possible, but not happily sustainable. I am in the healthy BMI range with some room to spare at either end.
When I first went into maintenance I was scared every day. I obsessed over the scale, and had weird experiments where I ate nothing but junk food all weekend just to see what it would do in the short-term to my daily weigh-in. I lost the weight without too much drama or Herculean effort (at least in my opinion), so for a long time I felt that I didn’t “deserve” to be at my goal weight, and it must be a fluke.
But then my perspective changed. I liked eating well and being active because it made me feel better. I could eat junk food all day (within my calorie range), sit on the couch, and maintain this weight, but would feel miserable, depressed and sluggish, so I chose not to. I started catching any re-gains before they turned into bigger problems. I set ongoing goals, so I wouldn’t be left adrift with no reason to keep up the effort. My brain finally adjusted to my new size, and going back to my previous size was more inconceivable than ever.
But as someone said in the comments, I am only in remission, not cured. If I got pregnant tomorrow, or lost my job, or had to move cross-country and start over? I don’t know what would happen. I want to maintain this forever, but don’t have a crystal ball.
I don’t believe in done. I believe in making the best choices every day that I can. Some days are better than others.
I have maintained a 120 pound weight loss for 7 yrs, but yet I am still a work in progress.
Never done. If I had to throw a number out to be considered a successful maintainer, I’d say 3 years. It gets easier and more relaxed, but the weight will come back if diligence slips.
julie´s last fabulous musings ..Pool parties!
I mean, if vigilance slips!
julie´s last fabulous musings ..Pool parties!
I agree with you 100%! I celebrate all the things I can DO. Actually, not even the pounds I lose because I am happy with life. If I never lose another pound, I have to be ok with that and focus on all the wonderful things I can do RIGHT NOW.
Lisa´s last fabulous musings ..I am a model!!!!
I consider myself a maintainer after four years. Having said that I am not, and never will be, done. I have gone up and down 30-odd lbs in that time but the reason I think of myself as maintaining now is that my NORMAL is the way I eat now. If I am eating junk food (very rare) or overindulging in carbs (much more likely if I am going off-plan) that is ODD to me now and I stop to consider why I am doing that. Yet there was many, many years when eating whole, clean food was the unusual. So to me maintaining was from when I hit my target weight AND my normal became a healthy, non-weight gaining way of eating and exercising. I am a maintainer trying to settle on an acceptable weight for me, not someone in weight loss. Finding the balance between my life and what I am prepared to do/add/give up to maintain at a specific weight is a maintenance issue for me. If I never lost another pound I would be healthy, normal looking and able to shop where I want and wear what I want. That has to be done to me. The fact I want to fine tune what I do and try to be stable at a lower weight does not mean I am not maintaining – to me anyway. And surely only we can decide for ourselves? It is how we see ourselves that makes us maintainers or those in weight loss IMO.
I never thought of it before to be honest, but I would rather be taught by someone whose maintained their weight a few years verses someone for 3 months. I use to think “weight loss” only, but that is what got me to gain my weight back. This time I said “I need a plan after the weight loss”. People tend to focus on the 1 and not both and that is the downfall.
Sheri @ TheMotivationalGirl´s last fabulous musings ..Obsessive Compulsive Behavior
Hi Diane,
I believe celebrating weight maintenance of one’s weight loss is an individual decision. Like when you selected to begin celebrating 3 months after you reached your desired weight. That is when you felt that it was right for you. The important thing about weight maintenance is that it is a continual process so celebrating can even be continuous.
To maintain weight a person has to continually focus on making healthier food choices each and every day and exercising like walking a mile or two daily. It sounds like you have made healthy changes that will last the rest of your life.
I think that people should get rid of their fat clothes once they have lost enough weight to buy smaller size clothes. This is a good thing to do until one reaches their desired weight. Then when they are on their maintenance program they should monitor their weight by feeling how those jeans fit to their body. When people notice their jeans becoming a little snug, especially around the holiday season they should simply watch what they eat and if they walk then walk a little faster and a little longer until the jeans fit good again.
Diane, by the way I wanted to let you know that I am linking to your site “Fit To The Finish” on my “Totally Weight Loss” site under Blogroll and have been for some time. You have an excellent site and I would be honored if you would consider linking to my site as well in your Blogroll.
My site, which is called “Totally Weight Loss”, is located at http://totallyweightloss.com.
Thanks for your consideration,
Larry
Larry Romeo´s last fabulous musings ..America Is Getting Fatter Every Year
I DO think it was rude of her to call you. And personally, when I see someone who has lost weight, I don’t wait until they’ve been at maintenance for a year before I ask them how they lost it. I want to know what they did to LOSE the weight – the maintenance issue will be my bridge to cross when I come to it. Condescending people (which is what this woman sounds like)need to keep their opinions to themselves unless asked.
Jill´s last fabulous musings ..So I tried a new thing tonight
I considered myself a maintainer after five years. Before I lost weight, I was clueless about the regain statistics (95-97 per cent of dieters fail to maintain their loss past the five-year mark). For a long time, I didn’t even believe that. So as my five-year “thiniversary” approached, I got quite nervous that all the weight would reattach itself to my body!
And I agree with the others that that woman was rude to call you. She sounds very bitter.
I’ve lost and regained over 60 pounds a couple of times but started regaining before I ever reached my goal then. I know I’ve changed my life this time. I need to move now, I love kickboxing, I physically can’t eat the crap I used to stuff myself with, I know I’ve really changed this time and there is no going back. I’m only a few pounds away from that maintenance journey and so thankful to you for showing me what that road looks like. Thank you!
MB´s last fabulous musings ..Older and Wiser or Just Older?