Are you a victim of the Eat it All mentality? I was.
If it was on my plate - I should eat it all. If I paid for it – I should eat it all. If someone made it for me - I should eat it all. Right or wrong, that’s how I felt.
What is the thinking behind this Eat it All mentality? Where does it originate from and can we move beyond it? I can’t speak for the world in general, but the Eat it All Mentality for me was often a result of a couple of different thought processes.
- I was raised to clear my plate- I got the message that there were lots of people starving in the world and if I didn’t eat all my food then that was like taking food out of the poor children’s mouths. This is terrible to say, but I used to think, “Well then, you can put my liver in the mail and send it to another country.” But I was smart enough to not say those thoughts out loud!
- I didn’t want to waste money – This one was especially dangerous for me. I loved going out to eat, and would order whatever entree’ was the largest. Unfortunately, I would then eat every single bit of the huge entree’, beyond the point of fullness.
- If I were “allowed” to eat it I would- This thought process usually reared its head when I was trying to follow a pre-determined plan. If I were allowed under the plan to have a certain amount of food then I would. It never occurred to me to eat what I wanted and stop when I was full. I wanted to eat the maximum amount of food possible.
These three ways of thinking were a really difficult hurdle to overcome. Even after I decided that I wasn’t going to follow a specific program, I still fought the tendency to eat everything on my plate. It was almost as if I were trying to fill myself up. That diet mentality of deprivation was hard to break as I tried to realign my thinking. I found that I had to consciously make a decision to eat the proper amount for the moment rather than fill up on foods I didn’t need or really want.
Where are you on the Eat it All mentality? If you are following a set program, do you feel compelled to eat every bit of food you can possible have and still stay on your plan? If you are doing your own thing then how do you handle your desire to eat more than you really want?
Here are some things I did to break this cycle.
- Decided ahead of time what I would eat in social situations
- Gave myself permission to say no
- Thought about every meal in terms of how it met my daily and weekly goals.
- Planned, planned, planned
- Left room for unforeseen circumstances
I wonder where you fall in this area? Are you part of the Eat it All club, or have you found a better way?
I’d love to hear what challenges you have faced and how you’ve overcome them! Diane
I had that mentality of eat it all but luckily have overcome that with calorie counting. With calorie counting comes portion control and with that comes the right portion size. Just enough for me. So no more Eat it All
blackhuff´s last fabulous musings ..Divorcee vs Widows
My family didn’t have a lot of money, so we were taught to “clean our plate.” I remember having to sit at the table, b/c I didn’t want my tomatoes for some meal! Even as an adult when I go home I have learned to only take what I can finish, b/c I will get a “look” from my mom if I leave anything on my plate! For me it’s hard for me to keep anything sweet that has more than one serving in it, b/c I have such a hard time stopping at just one. I’ve bought a cake from bakery that is technically 2-3 servings, but in a need for some “stress relieving,” I’ve eaten the whole thing– when I know that I should have just eaten at least a third of it. I’m a bit better that I won’t go for massive amounts, but I’m still not quite there yet for “moderation.”
My family had the same philosophy and it was hard to overcome. I understand the sweet regulation issue. Whole pans of brownies, or even two cookies can be hard to resist.
My challenge right now is not being at my “rock bottom” I can’t seem to be able to stay motivated to lose these 7 pounds that I have regained. It was almost easier for me to lose 80 pounds. Whenever I get within striking distance of my goal weight- I blow it. I am trying to dig deep- but I can’t get there. Any advice?
Jill´s last fabulous musings ..Sooooooo Excited
My advice is to do the same thing that allowed you to lose 80 pounds! Just stop sooner
Another way is to eat for a 7 pound lighter you.
My advice is to really examine whether you need to lose those 7 pounds at all? Are you at a healthy weight, and is it really difficult to maintain your weight at the lower number? For me, I’d “like” to lose 10 pounds, but I know it would be hard to maintain, so I just accept where I am.
I suspect many of us were raised with those “rules!” In many ways, power and control issues permeated our childhoods. I hope that we were able to re-program ourselves to find better ways with ourselves as adults and with our children!
I don’t have the “eat it all” mentality most of the time. Except when I have “trigger” foods around and fall prey to my all or nothing thinking that I’d better eat as much as I can today and restart the diet tomorrow. Sigh.
Karen@WaistingTime´s last fabulous musings ..Goblins and Ghoals
One thing I did to break that habit was to force myself to leave something on my plate, even in a restaurant. It felt so wrong when I started, but became easier.
I need to do that again, as I’ve gone back to cleaning my plate without thinking.
I too was raised with that ‘clear your plate’ message – parents post-WWII remembered the hardships so no surprises really.
One thing I’ve forced myself (kicking and screaming) to do is leave ‘something’ on my plate, rather than cleaning it so it barely needs washing. A HARD lesson, and I still get ‘that look’ from my Mum when she see this!
When I’m in control but still in full ‘longing’ mode, I make myself look at food in terms of how much more I’ll need to exercise if I eat it. If I’m truly prepared to add time on the rower or walking to eat the cake, or if I’m prepared to skip something else of similar calorific value, then I will say OK. Works fine when I’m in control, but… when my devil emerges not so well.
I try to listen to the ‘I’m full’ message from my body so I don’t eat when I don’t need to, but it’s still hard (she speaks quite quietly sometimes) and I guess it always will be. Just take each day as it comes and try to do my best – that’s all I can do, I guess.
Deniz´s last fabulous musings ..Hitting the bottle
I still kind of fall into that but I’ve learned I can eat it all doesn’t mean it has to be at once. When we go to a restaurant, I always pack up half my meal and save it as a meal for the next day. At home, I freeze leftovers although sometimes I give them to my mother-in-law to take for her lunch instead of eating them myself. I just can’t stand to waste the food and money so I had to find a healthy way around it.
Jenn´s last fabulous musings ..Fingers Crossed
I hear you on the money thing. With our food dollar stretched tight I have to bite my tongue when my kids don’t eat what they put on their plate. But I don’t say anything, because I don’t want them to have issues like I did!
I hear ya! I am the same way. I had to eat my entire plate as a kid or sit at the table and stare at the food until I did. I also don’t want to waste money. I feel the same way now. To battle that I try to make LESS food so I don’t feel obligated to eat it all.
Lisa´s last fabulous musings ..In Texas Coldbeer is One Word
God, this reminds me of a story I heard a while back from someone I used to work with. A friend of his was visiting his fiancee’s house — he came from a culture where it was polite to clean your plate. However, her mom came from a culture where if the guest cleaned their plate, it meant they hadn’t gotten enough food. So he kept eating well past the point where he wanted to stop because she kept putting food down. Finally, he begged his fiancee to “make her stop!” Talk about a feedback loop!
I ran into that when I was visiting an old math prof of mine. Thankfully, the food was gooooood since he and his wife are into fresh, organic stuff, but good as it was, I could still barely bend myself in the middle when I was done. Even overstuffing yourself on tabouleh can feel awful. I quickly learned to leave some on the plate when I visited him.
That story rings true! Cultural eating habits are very different, and I wonder what role that plays in obesity rates in different countries and cultures.
It’s easy to eat mindlessly! I try to ask myself if I really want more. I try to stop eating and pause for a few moments to decide if I am still hungry. I don’t always remember to do this but when I do its very helpful.
Tami@nutmegnotebook.com´s last fabulous musings ..Italian Sausage & Tortellini Soup with Garlic Cheese Biscuits
Diane, I did what you did in terms of your points at the end of the post – yes to that!
AS for why I ate – well, it was just what our family did – we ate.. and I did because I liked food & wanted more & it was a family thing…. that is why as parents, ya got to start setting the example early. Now, in these days, so much info out there. When I was young, not so much…
Jody – Fit at 53´s last fabulous musings ..Coconut Oil, Cucumbers & Chapped Lips
Totally been there! It took a long time for me to choose to STOP since I KNEW I would FEEL better if I stopped! But my will really wanted me to continue. Everynow and then it rears its ugly head!
La.´s last fabulous musings ..23 Week Sooner Stats
I have struggled with eating too much food. In fact, when I gained quite a bit of weight, it was really pretty healthy food, but just way too much of it.
I started using smaller plates and served myself one serving in the kitchen. That made a big difference. Having big amounts of food on the table just didn’t work for me. I also always have a plan now when I go out. When a restaurant has a menu online, I look at it at home. I also decide whether to split a dessert or have a glass of wine for example.
Andrea@WellnessNotes´s last fabulous musings ..How Active Are You?
I to can relate to this problem- particularly with the “we paid for it” attitude. This is something I’m still overcoming- that it is okay to leave food on my plate- another meal will soon be coming! Congrats btw on your newest magazine appearance!
I remember having to be a member of the clean plate club when I wa a kid. I still find it hard to leave food so I try to take small portions at home and plan to take half of a restaurant meal for leftovers. I had to learn it was better to throw it away than throw it down my throat.
MB´s last fabulous musings ..I’m Lost
Hi Diane! I think what is helping me most is realizing the habits I built based upon how I was raised–and then truly understand that I don’t have to follow the old rules at all. I have to intentionally think for myself with every food situation–not go with the flow.
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