Two Very Different Visits

May 6, 2010 by

stethescopeAfter my third child’s birth I lost my usual 15 pounds and was depressed to realize I would once again be gaining weight and heading further into the 300′s. I felt so out of control and incredibly unmotivated. In early ’97 I went to the doctor for a check-up. It was right after that visit that my desire met action and my weight loss efforts finally kicked in and I got started. It took me 14 months from that visit to lose 150 pounds.

Late the next spring I went back to the doctor for my annual exam. I hadn’t seen the doctor since my last embarrassment on the scale.

I walked up to the receptionist, signed the sheet and sat down. Only one other person was in the waiting room at the time, and he was soon called back. I waited, and waited, and waited. Finally, the door to the inner sanctum opened and the nurse stuck her head through the crack in the door. She looked at the chart, looked at me, glanced around the waiting room and shut the door. Confused, I looked anxiously at the door, wondering where she had gone. A few seconds later the door opened again and the same nurse called my name. As I was walking across the room towards her she said, “You are Diane aren’t you?” I nodded. She said, “I looked at the chart right before I came to get you and noticed the weight. When I opened the door and saw you sitting there I thought I had the wrong chart!”  I said, “I’ve lost some weight.”  “SOME WEIGHT!” she exclaimed, “I would say so.” This time, when I got on the scale I felt a feeling I had never felt before. I felt proud that I finally was the weight I should be. As we walked to the exam room, she told everyone she saw, “She lost 150 pounds!”  For a change, I didn’t mind that appointment!

The doctor just about fell off his chair when I told him I had lost weight using good old fashioned diet and exercise. He told me, “I honestly thought you would end up having to have some kind of surgical procedure, or just keep gaining weight.” Needless to say he was quite happy with me for a change.

Experiences like that help reinforce to me that weight lost and weight maintenance affect all the experiences we have in our lives. Although I didn’t put off going to the doctor because of my obesity, I do know people who do. I would encourage you to get regular check-ups, etc. Every time I visit the doctor these days I’m so thankful that despite any other problems I may have, obesity isn’t one of them. 

Question:  Have you ever avoided the doctor because of your weight?  Diane

Filed Under: Appearance, goal setting, self esteem, Weight Loss Tagged With: , ,

Legacies of Health

May 4, 2010 by

I’ve been thinking about the legacies we will leave behind when we have passed from this world. There is an elderly couple in our church who had 5 children. Those 5 children gave them 25 grandchildren. Those 25 grandchildren have given them 23 great-grandchildren, with several more on the way. She and her husband may not have great wealth, but they have left behind a legacy that will continue for generations to come. I’m not just talking about the children, but about their lifestyle, their heritage, their faith.

This made me think of what examples I am passing to my children. I’m grateful I now model the benefits of a healthy lifestyle.  They will undoubtedly make their own choices as they grow and mature, but it is my hope they won’t have to live through the pain and shame I did.  Life as an obese woman was hard. Hard physically and emotionally.

When I was obese I felt a lot of internal guilt with regards to what kind of example I was setting for my family by allowing myself to be so overweight. Every time I wasn’t able to fully participate in an activity the kids were doing, or every time  I made an excuse to sit on the sidelines I felt guilty. I worried they would be embarrassed to be seen with me, or whether their friends would make fun of them for having a fat Mom. And on occasion their friends would ask my oldest, “Why is your mom so fat?”

It wasn’t as though I didn’t try to make a change. Time and time again I tried to lose the weight, get healthy and improve my physical fitness. Time and time again I failed. And every time I felt a fresh wave of guilt. I’d look at my young children effortlessly running around the yard and try to remember a time when I could move faster than a slow waddle. It had been so long since I was able to move freely – unencumbered by an extra 150 pounds. Over and over they’d ask me, “Mommy, watch me! Mommy come play!” I’d watch, but didn’t participate in their fun. I’d shout words of encouragement from across the yard, but stayed in my chair. It took too much effort to move around so I stayed down.

One definition for the word legacy is defined as: Something handed down from an ancestor or a predecessor or from the past.

I’m asked a lot how I have maintained my weight for so long. There are a lot of reasons, but one of them is the fact that I want to leave my children the legacy and memory of a mom who cared enough about herself to stay healthy for them. I didn’t want to leave them with the memory of a mom so paralyzed by guilt and fear that she ate herself into an early death.  Among other things, when my kids talk about me to other people I want them to be able to say, “She loves us fiercely, encourages us in everything we pursue, and cares enough about us to take care of herself.” My kids won’t always make the right choices in every area of their lives – who does? But it is my hope that my healthy example will always be with them in their hearts and in their minds as they grow and mature.

Question: What kind of words do you want your family members to say about you?  Diane

 

Filed Under: Choices, obesity, self esteem Tagged With: , ,

How To Cook And Still Stay On Plan

April 26, 2010 by

We are a family of nine, and not surprisingly everyone likes to eat. Whereas I used to be a drive thru queen, these days we rarely eat out. That leaves two options – either everyone is one their own, which isn’t practical, or someone has to cook. Fortunately, over the years I have moved from being ambivalent about cooking to finding joy in preparing meals for my family. I collect and adapt recipes like other people collect shoes, and often try new recipes, even if we are having company. (Sometimes with less than stellar results.)

This begs the obvious question. How do you prepare healthy, appealing meals while either losing weight, or maintaining a healthy weight? There are several strategies you can use to prepare food for other people or for your own family while watching what you eat. Here are some simple ideas that I used while I was in process of losing 150 pounds and still use today.

Plan your meals- By simply planning what you and/or your family will eat for all meals during the week you will have taken your best first step at controlling your food and calorie intake. I got in the most trouble when I didn’t know what we were having for dinner. That is when we would order pizza, run through a drive thru or pick up something quick to prepare from the grocery store, like fried chicken nuggets, etc. (Here’s a meal planning worksheet you can use)

Adapt your recipes – Are there family favorites you don’t want to kick off the menu? In most cases you don’t have to. By looking at each ingredient you use and changing them or adapting them when necessary you can still enjoy your family’s favorites without blowing your weight loss plan. I’ve put together a tip sheet you can print for adapting recipes. As long as your portion size is appropriate you can eat without guilt.

Involve your family- Family support is one of the greatest gifts. My class participants who have support from family and friends undoubtedly have an easier time than those who don’t. Before changing everything you eat, sit down with the people who you are cooking for and discuss the changes you’d like to make. This could involve the cessation of purchasing high calorie/high sugar snacks, etc. By gathering input from everyone, it will make transitioning from fatty foods to healthier foods easier. This is what I did when I started losing weight. I explained my plan and asked for input. We decided together on a plan of action. We gradually changed some of our snacking habits, choosing to attack one thing at a time rather than changing everything at once. This worked well for us.

Believe me, I cook for a lot of people and I don’t always make everyone happy. (Especially the little guys!) By planning meals, adapting recipes and involving the family I think you will find that you are able to successfully cook meals that everyone appreciates – and usually likes!! 

Question: What techniques do you use when cooking for other people?  Diane

I came across this great article, Healthy Eating Begins at the Supermarket that you might find interesting.

Filed Under: cooking, Meal Time, Weight Loss Tagged With: , ,

If the suit doesn’t fit. . .

March 26, 2010 by

People are generally kind.  and John is one of the kindest I know.   There was one time when his kindness turned into an embarrassing moment.  He used to love buying me clothes.  I wore a size 10 pretty consistently, so clothes shopping easy.  However, problems began during the 2nd year of our marriage.  Because we went out to eat constantly, and I never exercised, I had beenslowly and steadily gaining weight.  He never seemed to notice that I kept buying new jeans, suits, and dresses.  I guess he just thought I didn’t like my old clothes. 

The third year of our marriage was going wonderfully and Christmas coming.  One day I showed him a picture of a white suit I really liked.  He said, “It’s nice.”  I forgot about the suit and Christmas came and went.  For Valentine’s Day we out-of-town relatives visiting, and John brought out a beautifully wrapped present and said, “I’ve had this and was waiting for Valentine’s Day to give it to you.”  I eagerly opened the package and was delighted to find the suit I had admired inside.  My delight quickly turned to concern when I noticed that the size of the suit was “10“.   Unbeknownst to him, I hadn’t worn a size 10 in over a year.  I could fudge sizes in shirts and sweaters, but a suit was a different story.  I held it up to myself and said, “Thank you.” 

Here’s where the big problem started.  He said, “Try it on.”  I shook my head, no.  He insisted, and I reluctantly headed into a different room to change clothes.

I stepped into the skirt and started to pull it up.  It wouldn’t go above my knees.  I tugged and checked to make sure the zipper was fully opened.  It was, and the skirt wasn’t budging.  From the living room I heard them call, “Are you ready?”  Ready?!  Not quite.  I stepped back out of the skirt and tried to put it on over my head.  After all, it was a slim skirt.  I tugged and pulled, yanked and wiggled until I had it partially on.  I yanked the skirt hem down until it was kind of in the right place.  There would be no buttoning the skirt as it was about 4 inches too small.  The hips were so tight I could hardly walk. 

I put the jacket on as best as I could and pulled it down as far as possible.  I opened the door three inches and stuck my face out.  “It’s good,” I said.  They all chorused – “Let us see.”  I opened the door a bit further and stood in the doorway with my hands in front of my hips.  Without thinking, my husband said, “It looks a little tight.”  My relatives echoed his sentiment and I turned red from embarrassment.  I just laughed and said, “Oh, I’m sure it’s just cut small.”  But inside I was mortified.  Now everyone in the family knew I had gotten fat.

Later that night he apologized.  He told me he hadn’t realized I really didn’t want to try on the suit.  I finally admitted to him that I hadn’t worn a size 10 in some time and was sorry.  He said he didn’t care, but I cared.  I knew I was getting bigger and bigger but I couldn’t seem to do anything about it.  Now my problem was out in the open.  Instead of doing something about it, I began talking nonstop about my weight, looking for reassurance that I wasn’t really as big as I knew I was.  He was reassuring, but everytime he reassured me the words rang false.  I knew he was just being kind.  I didn’t look okay and I was quickly moving towards being embarassingly large. 

After this story took place, I gained another 100 pounds.  If I had just gotten things under control then my life would have been a lot easier.  And there would have been many less embarrassing clothing moments.

Ever had something like this happen to you?  Diane

Filed Under: Appearance, embarassing moments, Weight Loss Tagged With: , ,

Should You Weigh Yourself Every Day?

March 8, 2010 by

Last week I wrote about, and you commented wonderfully on Fat Acceptance. I thought it would be interesting to see what your thoughts are on another frequently discussed topic, and a question I am frequently asked.  That question is:

 ”Should you weigh everyday?

I, of course, don’t have the correct answer for this question because like so many other aspects of this weight loss journey I don’t think there is just one way to handle weighing regularly. However, I can tell you how I approached the scale at three different points on my journey.

When I was gaining weight with no end in sight I rarely weighed. If you will remember, I slowly put on the pounds during the first three years of my marriage, but the big jump came during my first pregnancy and the resulting 75 pound weight gain. After I gave birth to my first daughter I rarely weighed. I occasionally stood on the scale but got so depressed to see the numbers going up, up, and up that I just quit weighing. When I joined weight watchers or some other program I of course got weighed, but I never stayed on those programs very long.

During my final journey to lose weight I committed to myself to weigh everyday. I know – a lot of people disagree and that’s perfectly fine, but that’s what I did. I weighed everyday to check in on my progress. One thing I learned very quickly however, was that the scale won’t move down every day, or even every week. In fact, I became very attuned to the rhythms of my body when it came to losing weight. Certain times of the month were harder than others, and I understood that weight fluctuates. What I also learned was that what I was looking for was an overall downward trend, not just a straight line of loss. Weighing daily kept my accountable.

After I reached the point where I was happy with my weight I had to decide whether or not to continue with the daily weigh-ins. I decided to continue weighing daily and I’m glad I did. All these years later I still stand on the scale every morning. For me, it keeps me honest with myself. I give myself a 3 – 5 pound range to fluctuate within, and when I hit the “high” number, I immediately take action. I ramp up the exercise and watch the extra snacking that I may have allowed into my life.

There are studies that show that the benefits of weighing daily can be measured quantitatively. A study from the University of Minnesota found that adults who weighed themselves daily while trying to lose weight, lost 12 pounds in 2 years, whereas people who weighed themselves weekly lost six pounds.  The daily weighers also had less of a tendency to regain their weight.  I have found this to be true in teaching my weight loss classes over the years.  The people who weighed daily lost more weight on average during the class period then those who chose not to.  It is a personal choice, but if you are struggling with lack of progress, then considering weighing more frequently may help your long term success. (As long as you can accept those normal fluctuations!)

Where are you on the scale issue? Do you weigh every day, every week, or have you thrown the thing out the window and rely on other measures to measure your progress and keep you accountable? Diane

Filed Under: obesity, Weight Loss Tagged With: , ,

Why Do We Run to Food?

March 5, 2010 by

Food was a struggle for me. Why then, was food my first choice in times of stress, boredom, anger, unhappiness, happiness or nervousness? At the end of a long day I’d hold an opened carton of Breyer’s ice cream in one hand and a spoon in the other, shoveling the ice cream in right from the carton. One time, John caught me standing in our dining room, reaching my hand into the recesses of the buffet drawer, pulling out my secret stash of Dove chocolate. He said, “I was looking for you.” I said, “Want a chocolate?”

Why did I want a chocolate, or ice cream, or chips in the first place if my weight was such a source of anguish for me? You would think that I would have shunned fattening food rather than welcoming it like an old friend. Logically that makes sense doesn’t it? If something in your life causes you pain, don’t you normally take steps to avoid the pain? For example, if your old car continually breaks down, don’t you begin the process of replacing the old clunker with something more reliable? If your best friend betrays you time after time do you still beg her to be your friend? I wouldn’t think so.  Yet we who struggle with the love and addiction of food do that very thing. We turn to food as a soother for any emotion we feel, thus adding to our weight problem.

I have yet to speak with someone who struggles with their weight who doesn’t experience this phenomena. Time after time I talk to people who express their frustration over their inability to stop using food to sooth emotions. I hear the frustration in their voices because I too felt that frustration. Learning to break the cycle of running to food wasn’t easy, but it was a key component to my success.

During the year that I lost 158 pounds, I learned a lot about myself. I learned that I didn’t just love food, I craved food. I realized I treated food in a way that was similar to the way alcoholics treat alcohol. The difference with food is however, is that we need food. As hard as breaking an alcohol addiction is, at least you don’t need alcohol to survive. Food is essential, vital,  and necessary for life.  There were three things I did to help me break my bad food habits.

Preparation – I knew food was a problem for me, so when I started following my Fit to the Finish plan, I prepared for the inevitable times of running to food. I got rid of all the “happy, fattening” food in the house. Gone were the chips, high fat crackers, secret chocolate stashes and full fat ice cream. In their place came crunchy veggies, baked chips, frozen yogurt, hard candy, gum (lots of gum), and hot drinks. I liken it to a breakup of a relationship. Before I was married, and would part ways with a boyfriend, I rid my life of any reminder of him. Even if I still cared emotionally for that person, I knew that part of my life was over and got rid of any reminders. That’s what I did with food too, I broke up with food. I still loved food, but I knew that certain types of food weren’t good for me, so I replaced the bad food with good. That took preparation.

Practice- It didn’t always work to be prepared. There was still the issue of overeating good food. After all, even a whole bag of baked chips has a lot of calories, and will definitely cause a weight gain if the whole bag is eaten on a daily basis. So I practiced making right choices by consciously choosing better, healthier foods. Portions were measured and memorized, and when I made a mistake I tried to figure out what had gone wrong, and moved on to the next opportunity to make a better choice. Over time the mistakes became less frequent, and the results became more visible.

Persistence- Sometimes its easy to get complacent once you have seen some success on the scale. It took about 50 pounds for me to really be able to tell that my body was starting to change. In the past, it would have been at this point (or sooner) that I would have said, “Oh, I’ve got this eating plan down. I can relax now.” NO. Don’t relax, don’t let down your guard, instead persist and persevere and point your mind towards your final goal, not the intermediate ones. By doing this I was able to keep the weight loss going through the ups and downs of life’s challenges, and ultimately reach my goal weight.

Do you feel frustrated sometimes when you run to the very thing that caused your weight issues? How do you handle this?  Diane

Filed Under: Choices, self esteem, Weight Loss Tagged With: , ,

A Little Happy from My Friends

June 15, 2009 by

Before we moved, my good friend used to bring us treats from across the backyard. She called them “happys.” Sometimes the “happy” would be a few cookies she made, and wanted to share with our family, and sometimes it was flowers from her garden. Other times it was just a funny little something she picked up, and thought of me. I miss my friend, but God is good and I have new friends and acquaintances.

I just wrapped up teaching my weight loss class Fit to the Finish on Thursday, and the wonderful ladies gave me these plates as a little thank you.

plates2

If you look at the words on the plates you will probably laugh out loud as I did. There is a lot of truth in the sayings on these cute dessert plates. Besides appealing to the eye, they fit right in with my weight loss and weight maintenance philosophy. You can have the occasional dessert, you just can’t have the whole thing, or have it everyday. As I lost my weight and got healthy, a lot of old habits fell by the wayside. I replaced the old habits with new ones that were good for me and life affirming. One habit that was near and dear to me was eating large amounts of sweets and treats. Rarely a day went by where I didn’t load myself up with chocolate, cookies, brownies, cakes or pie. I just couldn’t get enough to satisfy my relentless sweet tooth. Time after time I’d swear to myself I wouldn’t buy the big value bag of M&M’s, yet I’d see myself handing them to the cashier, eagerly anticipating eating half the bag in the car on the way home from the store. I had been known to get in my car, drive 3 miles to Wendy’s, buy two large Frosty’s and eat them on the way back home, never telling anyone what I had done. And yes, it is possible to eat a Frosty while driving, but it can be a little messy!

Sweet obsession is a common problem among those of us who struggle with our weight. I hear it all the time, “What about chocolate? What do you suggest I do about my love of candy?” My advice is simple. You can have the occasional sweet treat – a sliver of cake or a small chocolate, but you can’t have it every day, and you can’t have a large quantity of it. If you eat too many sweets, or too much of anything for that matter, you will have a hard time losing weight, and will probably gain weight. Moderation in all things is a common saying, but even moderation needs to be monitored carefully. If you know you are going to have a bit of dessert at dinner, plan ahead during the day what you will eat to compensate for the extra calories. If you “mess up” and eat a King Sized Mr. Goodbar for a snack, just have a salad for dinner. It’s okay to adjust your eating schedule and plan for unforseen situations and mistakes.

The ladies in my class this time lost an average of 15 pounds. They communicated to me that they felt they were better equipped to continue on their journey to lose weight and get healthy. Their feelings about dieting had changed from “temporary fix” to “changing for a lifetime.” As you journey towards your goals, I hope that you too will look at the changes you are making as lifetime changes, and not just temporary fixes. Diane

Filed Under: Choices, cooking, obesity, Weight Loss Tagged With: , , ,