Clothes That Hide Your Extra Bits Do Not Help

November 11, 2011 By

I know I’m going out on a little bit of a limb here, but that’s never stopped me before. I wanted to share with you my thoughts on how some clothes you choose to wear can make you feel “smaller” than you actually are, which may not be a good thing.

Case in point. When I was gaining weight, I switched from wearing relatively fitted clothes to clothes that swung around my body when a good breeze came along. Shirts that flowed were preferable to shirts that fit well. Wearing shirts like this one made me “feel” smaller because of less constriction. This feeling of freedom in clothing often gave me a little more freedom to eat what I wanted.

 

Why?

I think I ate more when I wore looser clothing because I unconsciously associated looser clothing with a smaller waist, less fat hips, and arms that were not bigger than my husbands. Popular fashions these days include those long knit jackets where the front pieces hang longer than the rest of the hem. These are an overweight woman’s best friend because the fabric helps hide your actual size. However, these jackets and other clothing items like them don’t hide anything, and often aren’t flattering to your size – whatever it may be.

I confess here that I have to watch myself with this even now because I do love a good roomy fleece. I see pictures of myself in an oversized fleece or jacket and realize that I look bigger than I really am. This is often true no matter your size – whether you are an 8 or a 28.

Just to illustrate this point, I took two pictures of myself today. One with my beloved but way too big fleece, and one with an equally warm but well-fitted sweater. Notice that even though I weighed the same in the two pictures, I look different.

 

I’d encourage you to look at your wardrobe and get out of the habit of wearing clothes that are too big. Not only may you find that you look better, but you may find yourself resisting the temptation to overeat because of your elastic waist pants, a long flowing shirt or loose jacket that gives you the impression that you have room to spare.

How do you choose clothes, and do you try to hide behind too-big or loose clothes? Diane

Filed Under: Appearance, Weight Loss

Here Are Some That I Never Could Fit Into Before

October 21, 2011 By

Way back 13 years ago, I was very, very overweight. And as such, my thighs, wrists, fingers and calves were waaaay larger than average. I never could wear boots that went above my ankle because my calves were just too large.

These days, you can find boots with larger calf sizes, which would have come in handy for me back then.

However, after losing weight I not only dropped pounds on the scale, but I also dropped a lot of inches. Even in my calves.

Allow me to present my very new pair of high boots.

 

I know it’s been a long time since I got to my goal weight, but being able to wear boots that zip easily over my calves still gives me a big smile on my face.

Whether you are in process of losing weight, maintaining your weight, or just getting started, I’d encourage you to look for those non-scale victories that put a smile on your face. May you never stop enjoying those little victories, because they can keep you focused year after year!

Have any recent victories you’d like to share?  Diane

Filed Under: Appearance

Which Is It? Accept Your Body or Not?

October 14, 2011 By

I was reading the Tuesday, October 11, 2011 issue of the USA Today and came across an article about large-size actresses in Hollywood becoming more commonplace, and more highly decorated. Case in point, Melissa McCarthy of Mike & Molly who won an Emmy recently. she is beautiful and overweight. Whereas in the past years, the vast majority of successful actresses were size 0 or maybe a 2, these days, you see many more larger-sized actresses.

One actress, Garourey Sidibe, said “One day I had to sit down with myself and decide that I loved myself no matter what my body looked like and what other people thought about my body.”

 She is very beautiful and also overweight. (You notice I didn’t say “beautiful, but overweight” as many people referred to me and other overweight people.)

I found her quote very interesting, because that’s one place where I never could get to in my mind.

Not to say that I did not try. Over and over I tried to convince myself that I was okay and happy with where I was in terms of my weight. I went through periods of time where I bought a few nice pieces of clothing and wore makeup more regularly to try and embrace my new, overweight body.

Then there were other times where I just gave up and wore old jumpers with ugly shirts underneath. I stopped wearing contacts and just put my old glasses on everyday. Even within those “giving up” times, there must have been a part of me that believed I could lose the excess weight.

Where is the line between accepting who you are, and trying to get to a healthy weight? Granted actresses have a special challenge because millions of people access them every single second of the day.

However, everywhere I went as an overweight person, people were judging me too. They just didn’t write about me or take my picture and put it on the Internet. (Thank goodness.)

There are health risks to obesity. We may not all like to hear that, but most medical professionals agree that type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, increased risk of cardiovascular diseases and high cholesterol are often more common in the overweight. Not always, but enough to be statistically significant.

I feel like I can be frank, because frankly – I’ve been there.

It’s not easy being overweight whether you are a famous actress or a regular homeschooling homemaker like I was at the time. It’s not easy losing weight either.

How about beautiful Ms. Sidibe’s comment. I like that she said that she said that she wanted to “love herself” no matter what she looked like on the outside. That is really, really important.

I feel like I never really got there when I was obese. I never would have said that I “loved myself” in spite of my weight, but I wish I had. It’s one of those regrets that I face – even now after 13 years of maintenance.

Where are you on this issue? Can you love yourself and stay at a weight that may be detrimental to your health? Can you love yourself and not lose enough weight to be in a healthy range? Is there one answer for everyone? Diane

 

 

Filed Under: Appearance

The Happy Coat Story

September 16, 2011 By

Fortunately, when I was a 300 pound woman years ago I didn’t get very cold. It’s a good thing too, as I didn’t own a coat. (We did live in Florida.) I didn’t own a coat for two simple reasons:

1) They were really expensive in size 28 and I didn’t want to spend the money since I was “losing weight” and,

2) I was embarrassed to tell John I needed a coat that was big enough to fit the star linebacker at Florida State.

You see, once I started making all my clothes except for T-shirts, I never told John what size I wore. All he knew was that it took a lot of fabric to make a jumper big enough for me, and those jumpers were a pain to iron. So by telling him I would like a coat would also be telling him what size I wore. Ridiculous, I know. But that’s how warped my thinking was back then!

So winter after winter, I suffered along without a coat. I had some men’s fleeces, and a few sweaters I had found at yard sales that got me by during the northern Florida winter. I remember many times, when the temperature dipped into the 40′s, and my friends would ask me, “Diane, aren’t you cold?”

“No,” I’d answer. “I’m comfortable!” I smiled when I said it but inside myself I thought, “Yes, thank you I’m freezing out here, but I don’t want you to know why I don’t have a coat.”  Every time I said those words a piece of my heart got sadder and sadder. I felt sorry for myself. I didn’t even have a coat that fit me.  I’d watch enviously when a friend accepted her husband’s coat when she was caught outside without one. She’d gracefully slip her arms in the sleeves and sit comfortable and warm. I’d look at her sitting with the coat swimming on her and think, “I want that to be me. Why can’t that be me?” But John’s coat wouldn’t have gone up and over my shoulder blade, much less across my wide back.

Years passed by with me continually reassuring everyone who asked, “No thanks – I’m not cold at all.”

When I finally began losing weight one of the happiest purchases I made was that of a coat. The first coat I bought was an XL, and I was so proud to wear it. It was brown corduroy with a cute plaid lining. (I know it sounds gross, but in its day!) I wore that coat until it started swimming on me. Fortunately spring and summer came quickly, and by that next winter I was able to buy a real wool coat.

I was so happy to walk into Burlington Coat Factor and peruse the rows and rows of wool coats. I knew exactly what I wanted, and found it. I even remember when I tried on “the coat” that a woman standing near me looked at me and said, “That coat looks darling on you.” I wanted to hug her but refrained. Me? Wearing something darling? Oh joy! I bought that coat without even looking at the price tag. (It was on sale though!)

I still have that coat and wore it yesterday. It probably is a tad big on me now, but I still love it. And every time I wear it I always remember all the times I lied and told my friends, “Thanks for asking, but I’m not cold.”  Here’s a picture of me in the happy coat!

 

Are there any articles of clothing that you can’t wait to purchase? Or any article of clothing you’ve recently purchased and are so glad you have?  Diane

 

Filed Under: Appearance, Weight Loss

Just Give Me a Chair Please

February 4, 2011 By

I used to hate it when people talked about the different activities they participated in.  Weighing 300 pounds doesn’t lend itself to being a joiner.  In fact, for me, weighing 300 pounds meant I did my best to stay still. At my heaviest, my favorite thing to do was eat and sit on the couch.  No attempts at taking a walk for me or joining a group. It never would have crossed my mind to get up off the couch and get on the treadmill we purchased.  No, for me sitting was pain and stress free.

Because I had young children I didn’t get to sit as much as I have liked.  Their energy level was high and they were always running and jumping around.  I remember watching them play one summer day thinking, “If I moved a tenth as much as they did I would be exhausted.”  They ran around and I sat.  If I took them to the park, I’d sit on the bench monitoring their activities to make sure they didn’t get hurt, all the while trying very hard to sit down as much as possible. Not only did I need to rest, I also didn’t want to draw undue attention to myself.  No matter where I was I felt people looking at me.

I’m not sure if other people actually were looking at me, but I sure looked at them.  While sitting on benches didn’t do much for my social interaction it gave me plenty of opportunities to think about my situation.  With my hips and behind spreading out on the bench I would visually compare myself to the average sized Mom sitting on the other side of the playground.  “She doesn’t take up more space than she should,” I’d think to myself.  “She doesn’t have to wear ugly jumpers,” I’d internally muse.  I’d sit and watch the children playing and feel sorry for myself.

Sitting through life for a few years took its toll.  From a physical standpoint, sitting so much did nothing for my fitness level.  In fact, it was detrimental and potentially dangerous.  Emotionally I felt alone and ostracized, even if it were by my own choosing.  Year by year went by and instead of using these negative feelings about myself to move me into action, I allowed the negative emotions to further my inactivity.  I feel like I was caught in a vicious cycle.  I didn’t want to move because it was uncomfortable, so I ended up sitting a lot more than I should have; thereby making the weight problem worse.

Moving around when you are very overweight isn’t easy, but if your doctor says its okay, it’s worth making the effort.  The day I got off the couch and walked down the road a bit marked a turning point for me.  Sure I was exhausted and sweaty, but I had just taken the first step on the path to a healthier me.  Little by little as I made a concerted effort to move more and sit less I saw a difference in myself.  I couldn’t believe how much more energy I had just by exercising a bit.  I also started to feel better about myself because I was finally doing something about my weight problem.  That movement, combined with fat percentage awareness and portion control enabled me to lose 150 pounds in 14 months.  If I can get off the couch and get moving, so can you! 

What was your first activity towards fitness?  Diane

Filed Under: Appearance, Weight Loss

Pictures Weren’t Fun to See

December 16, 2010 By

There was a time, way back in the dark ages, where cameras didn’t provide instant results, but rather you had to take your film to the store, go back home, drive back to the store to pick up your pictures, and then gasp in horror at what the camera revealed. I remember sitting in the parking lot of the camera shop, opening the package of pictures and sliding them out of their envelope. I’d grab the glossy stack, and start shuffling through them like a deck of cards. Children playing, cute. Birthday parties, so much fun. What is that fat blob in the edge of that picture? ME! I’d stop at the picture that had me in it and stare in disbelief. Who was that woman?

I knew I was wearing a size 26/28, but sometimes I couldn’t really see what that looked like. I knew the last time I got on the scale it was almost to its 300 pound capacity. But I didn’t know what I really looked like to other people.

“This is why I don’t get my picture taken,” I’d scream at myself. “The camera just isn’t kind to me.” I’d quickly shuffle through the rest of the pictures, not really enjoying them, because all I could think about was the one picture I was in. “Why did John take my picture?” I’d fume internally. “He knows I hate getting my picture taken.” (It’s so funny to me now that I would get mad at John for taking my picture.)

Before I got home, I’d remove the offending picture(s) and throw them in the trash. If they were of something important like my birthday or Mother’s Day, I’d keep the “best” ones, but the other ones, I ditched. That’s why if you look at the before pictures on the blog, they aren’t very good pictures. No posed portrait shots, no “you look great today” let me take your picture shots. Just random pictures that I allowed someone to snap of me when my defenses were down.

Time after time I’d see pictures of myself, and stare in disbelief. Every single picture surprised me. This probably says something about my lack of self-perception, but it is how I felt. Surprised. There were certain pictures that were worse than others, like this one:

Squatting 

When I saw this picture of myself, I never wore shorts again. It’s interesting that I still ate chocolate, but rather blamed the bad picture on the outfit, rather than the woman in it!

I’ve read weight loss stories of people who began losing weight after seeing an unflattering picture of themselves. For them, that was the defining moment. I wish it had been for me, because I would have not ended up morbidly obese for so many years. Rather than the bad picture spurring me to action, the pantry was my solace.

I wish I had been more confident in myself, and been able to appreciate all the good things I had to offer my family without so often wrapping it up in my appearance. But I wasn’t there yet. I still tied my self-worth up with my appearance, and that wasn’t good for me in the long run.

The woman in my pictures wasn’t the woman I wanted to be – either appearance wise, or confidence wise. How I long to have those obese years back, and really take the time to appreciate every single good moment I had with my family, instead of experiencing so much self-loathing and unhappiness. What does your camera reveal about you? Can you go beyond the appearance and appreciate all the good things you have to offer the world? Can pictures of yourself start spurring you into action, getting healthier and more fit, and more able to make a positive impact on your world? What do you think? Diane

Filed Under: Appearance Tagged With: ,

I Know Now It’s Important

July 16, 2010 By

Here’s a visual for you. These pictures were taken yesterday morning.

Yes, I am within my weight range and BMI. Yes, I have lost a lot of weight. And yes, sometimes I don’t dress in the most flattering way. I did the same thing when I was heavier.

In both of these pictures I weigh approximately the same. But in the picture on the right, I think I look smaller than in the other picture. Why? Because of my clothing choices. I was trying to hide my body with the horrendous sunflower jumper and quite frankly, that is impossible no matter what your weight.

I know it is tempting to try to layer so many clothes on your body, or wear clothes that are too loose. I used to wear loose jumpers because they made me “feel” smaller. I think the swish of the fabric around me made me think I had lost some weight and therefore could eat a cookie or two.

As I was losing weight, I changed my attitude towards purposefully buying and wearing clothes that were too big. As my clothes got too big I threw them away or donated them to goodwill. The “worn out, too tired” to donate ones got tossed, along with the clothes that had bleach stains on them.

I purchased a few clothes along the way down the scale that fit me appropriately and I wore those until Iundergrew them. I learned that wearing too big clothing wasn’t flattering – no matter what size I was. Not at 300 pounds and not at 146 pounds.

These days I admit to wearing my fleeces in the winter because I am always so cold in my drafty house. But, I don’t go out in public in those fleeces, but instead I wear something that fits me and is flattering. It’s usually not dressy, because that’s not my life right now – but it does fit.

I’d encourage you to wear clothes that fit and flatter your body, no matter what shape you are. I think it’s important for you to embrace who you are and where you are right now.

Have you had the tendency to hide in clothes or do you wear clothes that fit?  Diane

Filed Under: Appearance, Weight Loss Tagged With:

I Still Remember Finding Them

June 28, 2010 By

I once helped someone get on track with their eating plan and one day when she and I were visiting with each other she said, “I’ve got something to show you.” I said, “Okay.”

She got out of her chair and walked down her hallway. She turned the corner and walked into her hall bathroom. She turned around and looked at me and said, “Well?” I must have looked confused because she laughed and said, “I walked into the bathroom without having to turn to the side.” I immediately clapped and did a little happy dance for her. She was so excited that even though she hadn’t lose enough weight for other people to notice, she was noticing how her body was changing. I’ve never forgotten the look on her face when she shared that with me. And I’ve never forgotten some of the small victories I noticed along my own weight loss journey.

One non-scale victory I found very satisfying was the appearance of:   COLLARBONES

Now, I knew that I had always had collarbones, but it had been many years since I had seen them. I couldn’t even really feel them very well so I had kinda forgotten about them. But then, surprise, one day I was looking at myself in the mirror and there they were. (I had probably lost 100 pounds at that point.)

I stood there and touched them. Sure enough – collarbones. All day long, every time I passed a mirror I stopped to admire my collarbones. Its a good thing John didn’t see me and ask what in the world I was doing looking at myself in the mirror so often. I probably would have made something up.

I’d encourage you to never stop looking for those little things that help you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are on the right track. It doesn’t have to be a physical attribute, but rather it can be a difference in your activity level or just feeling more positive about yourself. Write those non-scale victories down so you can remember them for years and years. Those memories will help you stay in maintenance because if you are like me, you will not want to have to rediscover your collarbones time and time again!

What’s the latest thing positive thing you’ve noticed about yourself?  Diane

Filed Under: Appearance Tagged With:

I’m So Excited!

June 12, 2010 By

If you are connected with me through Facebook you might remember that I was asking for bike recommendations. I got some good recommendations from Roy, but needed to wait until the cash flow came through. Well, this morning I was at a garage sale, which is where you will find me on most Saturday mornings and I saw this:

Being an experienced garage sale person, I left my teenage son holding onto the bike and went to find the seller. Turns out she is the fabulous lady who sometimes cuts my hair. She got a new bike and sold me this bike for . . . $15.00!! It is a Denali bike with Shimano brakes! It works perfectly and rides so smoothly. I had been riding my teenage son’s bike and it was not comfortable or enjoyable!

Here’s a picture of me in my brand new workout clothes. You might remember that I asked for workout clothes advice the other week. Taking Lori’s advice on buying a close fitting wicking shirt, I picked this shirt and the cute running skirt. I wasn’t so sure about the skirt when I saw it on other people – because I couldn’t imagine it was comfortable, but it is! I wish someone would give me one so I could give it away to you on my blog!!

I’m so excited and I think it’s funny that my bike cost LESS than my new outfit! What’s with that?

Hope you all have a great weekend, and if you don’t go to garage sales, maybe you should!!  Ever found a deal at a store or a yard sale?  Diane

Filed Under: Appearance, Choices, Exercise Tagged With: , ,

Lazy or Large?

June 3, 2010 By

Before I gained 150 pounds I assumed that people who were overweight were lazy. I know it’s bad that I thought that way and I am sorry I did. When I was morbidly obese other people assumed I was lazy. I know they did. There is a stigma associated with weight that is not associated with other types of health problems. I suppose that is because being overweight is most often due to overeating, and not due to disease.  Add to it the fact that being overweight is a public problem, unable to be hidden, and there you have it, fat people are fodder for false assumptions and rude comments.

My girls were small when I was morbidly obese and I belonged to a  Mother’s Group at our church. Time after time I was overlooked for heading up committees, taking on tasks, and of course I was never asked to be the greeter at the door. I often wonder if  part of that was due to the perception of obese people, or was part of that due to my own poor self image? During that time in my life I was teetering between 280 and 300 pounds, and honestly, felt quite badly about myself.  Every time someone asked another woman to handle something, I felt ashamed. Every time I tried to volunteer for a task, but was pushed aside, I felt demoralized. And each time people made side comments about my energy level, I shrank inside. I remember one time when we were organizing a field day for the children, that a friend said, “Diane, you probably don’t want to handle any of the games, so why don’t you just bake 3 dozen cookies?” I looked at her, smiled and said, “Sure, that sounds great.” But inside I was thinking, “I can handle ring toss with 5 year olds. I know I can.” But instead I baked 3 dozen cookies, at 18 of them, and had to bake 3 dozen more in order to have enough to bring to the field day.

I don’t think I was lazy. I worked hard at home, at my part-time job, and on my friendships. I kept up with the latest trends in decorating, knew what clothes were in style, even if I couldn’t wear them, and was well informed on world events. Other people didn’t see all the things I accomplished during the day. All they saw was almost 300 pounds lumbering in the door, overflowing chairs and catching her breath after climbing stairs. I guess I can’t blame them for their incorrect assumption. I wasn’t lazy, I just wasn’t energetic. I was often tired, but I did work hard.

Once I finally was successful at losing weight I was astonished at the difference in how people treated me, based solely on physical appearance. It was unbelievable. Whereas I was previously regulated to the “backroom” jobs, now I was constantly asked to serve on the board, give the opening prayer, introduce the speaker, etc. What changed? My appearance. I was the same person I had always been, just smaller. Undoubtedly, my self confidence level improved, but I would have done those things even as a heavy person, it was just that no one asked.

I learned something through all this. I learned never to judge people based on their outward appearance. It’s something I just don’t do anymore because I know how it feels to be on the judged side.

Do you think that there is a perception that overweight people are lazy? Diane

Filed Under: Appearance, self esteem, Weight Loss Tagged With: , ,
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