I Know Now It’s Important

July 16, 2010 By

Here’s a visual for you. These pictures were taken yesterday morning.

Yes, I am within my weight range and BMI. Yes, I have lost a lot of weight. And yes, sometimes I don’t dress in the most flattering way. I did the same thing when I was heavier.

In both of these pictures I weigh approximately the same. But in the picture on the right, I think I look smaller than in the other picture. Why? Because of my clothing choices. I was trying to hide my body with the horrendous sunflower jumper and quite frankly, that is impossible no matter what your weight.

I know it is tempting to try to layer so many clothes on your body, or wear clothes that are too loose. I used to wear loose jumpers because they made me “feel” smaller. I think the swish of the fabric around me made me think I had lost some weight and therefore could eat a cookie or two.

As I was losing weight, I changed my attitude towards purposefully buying and wearing clothes that were too big. As my clothes got too big I threw them away or donated them to goodwill. The “worn out, too tired” to donate ones got tossed, along with the clothes that had bleach stains on them.

I purchased a few clothes along the way down the scale that fit me appropriately and I wore those until Iundergrew them. I learned that wearing too big clothing wasn’t flattering – no matter what size I was. Not at 300 pounds and not at 146 pounds.

These days I admit to wearing my fleeces in the winter because I am always so cold in my drafty house. But, I don’t go out in public in those fleeces, but instead I wear something that fits me and is flattering. It’s usually not dressy, because that’s not my life right now – but it does fit.

I’d encourage you to wear clothes that fit and flatter your body, no matter what shape you are. I think it’s important for you to embrace who you are and where you are right now.

Have you had the tendency to hide in clothes or do you wear clothes that fit?  Diane

Filed Under: Appearance, Weight Loss Tagged With:

I Still Remember Finding Them

June 28, 2010 By

I once helped someone get on track with their eating plan and one day when she and I were visiting with each other she said, “I’ve got something to show you.” I said, “Okay.”

She got out of her chair and walked down her hallway. She turned the corner and walked into her hall bathroom. She turned around and looked at me and said, “Well?” I must have looked confused because she laughed and said, “I walked into the bathroom without having to turn to the side.” I immediately clapped and did a little happy dance for her. She was so excited that even though she hadn’t lose enough weight for other people to notice, she was noticing how her body was changing. I’ve never forgotten the look on her face when she shared that with me. And I’ve never forgotten some of the small victories I noticed along my own weight loss journey.

One non-scale victory I found very satisfying was the appearance of:   COLLARBONES

Now, I knew that I had always had collarbones, but it had been many years since I had seen them. I couldn’t even really feel them very well so I had kinda forgotten about them. But then, surprise, one day I was looking at myself in the mirror and there they were. (I had probably lost 100 pounds at that point.)

I stood there and touched them. Sure enough – collarbones. All day long, every time I passed a mirror I stopped to admire my collarbones. Its a good thing John didn’t see me and ask what in the world I was doing looking at myself in the mirror so often. I probably would have made something up.

I’d encourage you to never stop looking for those little things that help you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are on the right track. It doesn’t have to be a physical attribute, but rather it can be a difference in your activity level or just feeling more positive about yourself. Write those non-scale victories down so you can remember them for years and years. Those memories will help you stay in maintenance because if you are like me, you will not want to have to rediscover your collarbones time and time again!

What’s the latest thing positive thing you’ve noticed about yourself?  Diane

Filed Under: Appearance Tagged With:

I’m So Excited!

June 12, 2010 By

If you are connected with me through Facebook you might remember that I was asking for bike recommendations. I got some good recommendations from Roy, but needed to wait until the cash flow came through. Well, this morning I was at a garage sale, which is where you will find me on most Saturday mornings and I saw this:

Being an experienced garage sale person, I left my teenage son holding onto the bike and went to find the seller. Turns out she is the fabulous lady who sometimes cuts my hair. She got a new bike and sold me this bike for . . . $15.00!! It is a Denali bike with Shimano brakes! It works perfectly and rides so smoothly. I had been riding my teenage son’s bike and it was not comfortable or enjoyable!

Here’s a picture of me in my brand new workout clothes. You might remember that I asked for workout clothes advice the other week. Taking Lori’s advice on buying a close fitting wicking shirt, I picked this shirt and the cute running skirt. I wasn’t so sure about the skirt when I saw it on other people – because I couldn’t imagine it was comfortable, but it is! I wish someone would give me one so I could give it away to you on my blog!!

I’m so excited and I think it’s funny that my bike cost LESS than my new outfit! What’s with that?

Hope you all have a great weekend, and if you don’t go to garage sales, maybe you should!!  Ever found a deal at a store or a yard sale?  Diane

Filed Under: Appearance, Choices, Exercise Tagged With: , ,

Lazy or Large?

June 3, 2010 By

Before I gained 150 pounds I assumed that people who were overweight were lazy. I know it’s bad that I thought that way and I am sorry I did. When I was morbidly obese other people assumed I was lazy. I know they did. There is a stigma associated with weight that is not associated with other types of health problems. I suppose that is because being overweight is most often due to overeating, and not due to disease.  Add to it the fact that being overweight is a public problem, unable to be hidden, and there you have it, fat people are fodder for false assumptions and rude comments.

My girls were small when I was morbidly obese and I belonged to a  Mother’s Group at our church. Time after time I was overlooked for heading up committees, taking on tasks, and of course I was never asked to be the greeter at the door. I often wonder if  part of that was due to the perception of obese people, or was part of that due to my own poor self image? During that time in my life I was teetering between 280 and 300 pounds, and honestly, felt quite badly about myself.  Every time someone asked another woman to handle something, I felt ashamed. Every time I tried to volunteer for a task, but was pushed aside, I felt demoralized. And each time people made side comments about my energy level, I shrank inside. I remember one time when we were organizing a field day for the children, that a friend said, “Diane, you probably don’t want to handle any of the games, so why don’t you just bake 3 dozen cookies?” I looked at her, smiled and said, “Sure, that sounds great.” But inside I was thinking, “I can handle ring toss with 5 year olds. I know I can.” But instead I baked 3 dozen cookies, at 18 of them, and had to bake 3 dozen more in order to have enough to bring to the field day.

I don’t think I was lazy. I worked hard at home, at my part-time job, and on my friendships. I kept up with the latest trends in decorating, knew what clothes were in style, even if I couldn’t wear them, and was well informed on world events. Other people didn’t see all the things I accomplished during the day. All they saw was almost 300 pounds lumbering in the door, overflowing chairs and catching her breath after climbing stairs. I guess I can’t blame them for their incorrect assumption. I wasn’t lazy, I just wasn’t energetic. I was often tired, but I did work hard.

Once I finally was successful at losing weight I was astonished at the difference in how people treated me, based solely on physical appearance. It was unbelievable. Whereas I was previously regulated to the “backroom” jobs, now I was constantly asked to serve on the board, give the opening prayer, introduce the speaker, etc. What changed? My appearance. I was the same person I had always been, just smaller. Undoubtedly, my self confidence level improved, but I would have done those things even as a heavy person, it was just that no one asked.

I learned something through all this. I learned never to judge people based on their outward appearance. It’s something I just don’t do anymore because I know how it feels to be on the judged side.

Do you think that there is a perception that overweight people are lazy? Diane

Filed Under: Appearance, self esteem, Weight Loss Tagged With: , ,

Fashionable Changes

May 18, 2010 By

Tonight at 10:00 p.m. ET/PT on CNBC there is a show called: One Nation, Overweight. Here’s a clip in case you are interested.

It’s spring and here in the south the weather is getting hotter by the day. It’s the time of year when I do a lot of spring cleaning, which I dislike a lot! Necessary but not so much fun. One thing that I do when I spring clean is switch out the children’s clothes from winter to summer ones. People ask me how in the world I do it with so many kids, but it really isn’t that hard – just time consuming. We have a really large closet in our rec room which houses all the boys clothes in various sizes. I hang all the shirts in size order and have the pants/shorts/pajamas in bins. Then we just do a switcheroo, with the boys trying on clothes so we can see what size they are. And in a few hours, it’s done. In case you are curious, here’s a picture of the boys closet!

My clothes all fit in one closet so I don’t have to change anything around – just switch from the winter side to the summer side. In switching around clothes I thought about how my fashion sense changed after I lost weight. Before I gained all my weight I enjoyed shopping and wore fairly trendy teenage clothes. When I started gaining weight I stopped tucking in clothes and began buying oversized shirts which I hoped hid things that were growing. They did not. Here’s a picture of me my second year of marriage. I had gained about 30 pounds. The top I was wearing wasn’t flattering, but it was loose and I felt like it hid my weight gain. Which I now see it did not.

 

When I went from merely overweight to morbidly obese I started wearing clothes like this. These jumpers accommodated my growing girth and it didn’t really matter if I gained another 10 pounds because the clothes seemed to fit the same.

Matching Jumpers

As I lost some weight (finally) I started buying cuter clothes. This outfit was one of the first ones I wore that made me feel stylish.

Cuter Clothes Coming

 And as I lost more and more weight I cared more and more about the clothes I wore. I stopped buying knit pants with elastic waistbands and instead bought pants with a waistband and a zipper. How novel!

To this day, other than my workout pants I don’t own a single pair of pants or any skirt that has an elastic waist. All my clothes have fitted waistbands. I didn’t know Dr. Oz at the time, but that is one of his 10 commandments. In fact, it’s number one. Don’t wear stretchy pants! I agree with him, because stretchy pants are very easy to wear and it can be very hard to tell if your waist is getting bigger!

Question: How do you feel about your clothing style as you’ve lost weight? Has it changed, and will you wear elastic waist pants ever again?  Diane

Filed Under: Appearance, excuses Tagged With: , ,

Two Very Different Visits

May 6, 2010 By

stethescopeAfter my third child’s birth I lost my usual 15 pounds and was depressed to realize I would once again be gaining weight and heading further into the 300′s. I felt so out of control and incredibly unmotivated. In early ’97 I went to the doctor for a check-up. It was right after that visit that my desire met action and my weight loss efforts finally kicked in and I got started. It took me 14 months from that visit to lose 150 pounds.

Late the next spring I went back to the doctor for my annual exam. I hadn’t seen the doctor since my last embarrassment on the scale.

I walked up to the receptionist, signed the sheet and sat down. Only one other person was in the waiting room at the time, and he was soon called back. I waited, and waited, and waited. Finally, the door to the inner sanctum opened and the nurse stuck her head through the crack in the door. She looked at the chart, looked at me, glanced around the waiting room and shut the door. Confused, I looked anxiously at the door, wondering where she had gone. A few seconds later the door opened again and the same nurse called my name. As I was walking across the room towards her she said, “You are Diane aren’t you?” I nodded. She said, “I looked at the chart right before I came to get you and noticed the weight. When I opened the door and saw you sitting there I thought I had the wrong chart!”  I said, “I’ve lost some weight.”  “SOME WEIGHT!” she exclaimed, “I would say so.” This time, when I got on the scale I felt a feeling I had never felt before. I felt proud that I finally was the weight I should be. As we walked to the exam room, she told everyone she saw, “She lost 150 pounds!”  For a change, I didn’t mind that appointment!

The doctor just about fell off his chair when I told him I had lost weight using good old fashioned diet and exercise. He told me, “I honestly thought you would end up having to have some kind of surgical procedure, or just keep gaining weight.” Needless to say he was quite happy with me for a change.

Experiences like that help reinforce to me that weight lost and weight maintenance affect all the experiences we have in our lives. Although I didn’t put off going to the doctor because of my obesity, I do know people who do. I would encourage you to get regular check-ups, etc. Every time I visit the doctor these days I’m so thankful that despite any other problems I may have, obesity isn’t one of them. 

Question:  Have you ever avoided the doctor because of your weight?  Diane

Filed Under: Appearance, goal setting, self esteem, Weight Loss Tagged With: , ,

I Lost Him!

May 3, 2010 By

This is a picture of me with my oldest son, who is 13 and my 3rd son, who is 7. My daughter took this picture at the zoo a couple of weeks ago. I thought it was a nice picture of the three of us and couldn’t believe how tall my oldest son has gotten. And then I thought of something else when I was looking at that picture. He had just very proudly told me a few days before that he weighs just over 150 pounds. He thinks it’s great to be gaining weight and getting stronger! (Remember those days?) Then I realized:

I lost him.

I lost 158 pounds in total and that’s about what he weighs. I could no more pick him up and carry him around on my back all day then I could swim across the Atlantic Ocean. I’m not even sure I could pick him up in an emergency situation.

But when I was morbidly obese, I did figuratively carry him around all day long. No wonder I was tired all the time. All that extra weight didn’t just make me look bad, squishy, and unfit. That extra weight was exhausting. Even the simplest activities were hard for me. I remember having to sit down in the mall after just a half an hour of shopping and rest for awhile. Doing work around the house made me tired. Even a relatively simple activities like cleaning the bathroom or dusting wore me out. No wonder I sat down all the time.

Do you ever think about all the progress you’d made in those terms? If you’ve lost 20 pounds then that’s 20 pounds less you have to carry around. Even 10 pounds makes a difference in terms of how you feel.

Do you ever pick up a 5-lb bag of flour and think, I’ve lost five of these? If you’ve lost 25 pounds that’s what you’ve done. Imagine right now how heavy a 5-lb bag of flour is. If you’ve already lost one, two, or ten of those be thankful you don’t have to haul that weight around any longer.

It can be easy to get discouraged with the amount of weight you are losing, or the rate at which the weight is coming off. I challenge you to do this today:

Find things around your house that represent how much weight you’ve lost and pile them up. Take a picture of them, step back, and allow yourself to feel proud. Use that visual representation as an incentive to keep going when the journey feels hard. And if you’ve lost the equivalent of a person, take a picture of yourself with that person, and be proud of that! For comparison, the little guy in my picture weighs about 55 pounds.

How does it make you feel when you compare how much weight you have lost to another person or object? Is it exciting?  Diane

Filed Under: Appearance Tagged With: ,

The Truth I Tried To Deny

April 22, 2010 By

Did this ever happened to you? You were walking in the mall – either by yourself or with a friend and you caught sight of yourself in a mirror? Were you sometimes astonished and found yourself wondering, “Who is that and how did I get like this?”

Like many women, I avoided the mirror, especially when I was obese. I could look at myself without really seeing what I looked like. I could put on makeup, do my hair, brush my teeth, and not pay attention to what the mirror was showing me. That ability is both a blessing and a curse.

All throughout the years I struggled with my weight, I avoided having my picture taken.  I tried my best to be the one behind the camera, and I still do! The difference is that now, although I don’t love having my picture taken, I don’t get all weird about it. Back then, John would practically have to beg me, “Let me take a picture of you with the kids.” I would reluctantly agree, knowing that I would hate it. And when I picked it up from the photo shop, of course I did hate it, and often times threw the picture away.

I didn’t really want to see how big I had become. I wasn’t living in fantasy land. I knew that I was wearing the biggest size Lane Bryant sold. I understood that finding undergarments was really difficult. I acknowledged my wedding rings no longer fit. Intellectually, I knew all of those things, but I tried to avoid thinking seriously about any of it. Because if I ever allowed myself to dwell on how I looked I knew I would get depressed! And if I got depressed I would eat more and more.

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There are a few times where I vividly remember having to face the reality of my size while looking in the mirror. One time is when I was getting my hair cut. I sat down in the chair and the hair stylist shook out the cape and put it around my big self. It floated up like a parachute, and settled over my bulk. I remember looking in the mirror at the expanse of the black cape and thinking, “Wow, I’m huge.” I didn’t even want to get my hair cut anymore. I wanted to get up and go home. The entire time she was chatting and cutting my hair, all I could think about was how tiny my head looked on top of that big cape. When she finally finished and I had paid her, I went to the car and cried. How had I gotten to this point that even getting my hair cut felt embarrassing?

Facing the reality of not only my size, but my unhealthy lifestyle was hard. My final moment of truth was on the doctor’s scale. Up until that moment all I did was get upset about how I looked and felt. On that day I finally looked in the mirror and said, “I’m not going to live like this anymore.”

Question: Did you find it hard to accept your size and how you felt physically before you started on the path to healthy living?  Diane

Filed Under: Appearance, Weight Loss Tagged With: ,

Today Would You Please Thank A Friend?

April 19, 2010 By

I’ve talked before about friends who aren’t supportive of weight loss efforts, and how relationships can change for the worst after one person in the relationship makes a change in their appearance and lifestyle.

I realized that although that can be reality, there is another type of friend that I wanted to applaud, and that’s the friend who stays true to the relationship even in the midst of turmoil.

I had a friend like that during my time of obesity. I had a friend who stuck with me through weight gain, pregnancy, more weight gain, and finally weight loss. She saw me on both sides of my weight journey and her attitude and opinion of me never wavered. Her name is Joy. (She is on the far right in case you were wondering. I seemed to always put bows on my head when I was heavy. I don’t know why.)

I appreciated her support and friendship more than she will ever know. She never made me feel bad when I needed to sit down at the mall. She never said anything about my homemade jumpers, and was just my friend.

When I started losing weight she was one of the biggest cheerleaders I had. She noticed every new item of clothing I wore and even complimented me on my new healthier food choices. When we went out to eat she never encouraged me to eat more than I wanted to eat, rather she and I ate similarly (for a change!)

It’s sometimes tempting for me to focus on the friends who weren’t nice and said mean things – or said nothing at all to the exclusion of applauding those friends who were consistently there and unchanging.

I think it’s so important to surround ourselves with people who are positive and life affirming. It’s easy to get sucked into the vortex of unhealthy living when all your friends are “doing it” too. Supportive people who genuinely care for you and don’t judge you regardless of your size are treasures.

Am I recommending you ditch your unsupportive friends? Not necessarily, although they may ditch themselves. But rather I would like to encourage you to use this day as:

That’s right – email, call, or mail a letter to a friend of yours who is supportive of you in your life journey. They will be glad you did, and so will you! 

Who is your most supportive friend? Will you tell them thanks?  Diane

By the way – I did email Joy and tell her thank you!

Filed Under: Appearance, Choices, emotions, Weight Loss Tagged With: ,

If the suit doesn’t fit. . .

March 26, 2010 By

People are generally kind.  and John is one of the kindest I know.   There was one time when his kindness turned into an embarrassing moment.  He used to love buying me clothes.  I wore a size 10 pretty consistently, so clothes shopping easy.  However, problems began during the 2nd year of our marriage.  Because we went out to eat constantly, and I never exercised, I had beenslowly and steadily gaining weight.  He never seemed to notice that I kept buying new jeans, suits, and dresses.  I guess he just thought I didn’t like my old clothes. 

The third year of our marriage was going wonderfully and Christmas coming.  One day I showed him a picture of a white suit I really liked.  He said, “It’s nice.”  I forgot about the suit and Christmas came and went.  For Valentine’s Day we out-of-town relatives visiting, and John brought out a beautifully wrapped present and said, “I’ve had this and was waiting for Valentine’s Day to give it to you.”  I eagerly opened the package and was delighted to find the suit I had admired inside.  My delight quickly turned to concern when I noticed that the size of the suit was “10“.   Unbeknownst to him, I hadn’t worn a size 10 in over a year.  I could fudge sizes in shirts and sweaters, but a suit was a different story.  I held it up to myself and said, “Thank you.” 

Here’s where the big problem started.  He said, “Try it on.”  I shook my head, no.  He insisted, and I reluctantly headed into a different room to change clothes.

I stepped into the skirt and started to pull it up.  It wouldn’t go above my knees.  I tugged and checked to make sure the zipper was fully opened.  It was, and the skirt wasn’t budging.  From the living room I heard them call, “Are you ready?”  Ready?!  Not quite.  I stepped back out of the skirt and tried to put it on over my head.  After all, it was a slim skirt.  I tugged and pulled, yanked and wiggled until I had it partially on.  I yanked the skirt hem down until it was kind of in the right place.  There would be no buttoning the skirt as it was about 4 inches too small.  The hips were so tight I could hardly walk. 

I put the jacket on as best as I could and pulled it down as far as possible.  I opened the door three inches and stuck my face out.  “It’s good,” I said.  They all chorused – “Let us see.”  I opened the door a bit further and stood in the doorway with my hands in front of my hips.  Without thinking, my husband said, “It looks a little tight.”  My relatives echoed his sentiment and I turned red from embarrassment.  I just laughed and said, “Oh, I’m sure it’s just cut small.”  But inside I was mortified.  Now everyone in the family knew I had gotten fat.

Later that night he apologized.  He told me he hadn’t realized I really didn’t want to try on the suit.  I finally admitted to him that I hadn’t worn a size 10 in some time and was sorry.  He said he didn’t care, but I cared.  I knew I was getting bigger and bigger but I couldn’t seem to do anything about it.  Now my problem was out in the open.  Instead of doing something about it, I began talking nonstop about my weight, looking for reassurance that I wasn’t really as big as I knew I was.  He was reassuring, but everytime he reassured me the words rang false.  I knew he was just being kind.  I didn’t look okay and I was quickly moving towards being embarassingly large. 

After this story took place, I gained another 100 pounds.  If I had just gotten things under control then my life would have been a lot easier.  And there would have been many less embarrassing clothing moments.

Ever had something like this happen to you?  Diane

Filed Under: Appearance, embarassing moments, Weight Loss Tagged With: , ,
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