The Tired Excuse that Finally Got Kicked to the Curb

January 25, 2012 By 41 Comments

I was remembering back to my 300 pound days. And unfortunately I wasn’t having fond memories of those days, but rather pathetic memories. I was a young woman with young children and my overriding emotion during those 10 years of obesity was tired.

I was always tired. If John were here right now he’d affirm that statement. I always complained about exhaustion and lack of energy – always.

I was too tired to do any of these things:

♦Go shopping

♦Play with the kids

♦Cook dinner

♦Exercise (HA!)

♦Take a trip to the Nature Museum where I had to walk for any length of time.

♦Ride in the car for longer than 30 minutes.

♦Stand up for any length of time (like waiting in lines)

I was pathetic. And as the years went by and I became more and more obese my feelings of tiredness increased rapidly. I could almost feel getting more tired as the days went by. I’d get up as late as I could get away with in the morning, put on my robe, and feed the kids breakfast. Then I might get dressed or I might lounge around in my PJ’s and robe for a while longer.

I’d shuffle from the kitchen back to the couch, sitting down in both locations to rest and eat. When the kids napped after lunch I’d nap too – only I’d nap after finishing off the box of Cheese Nips that I had just opened that morning. When the kids and I awoke I’d be tired again and just sit and watch them play.

Such was my life. I never associated my weight with my energy level. I would have told you that I was just a tired person in general. But I had never been a tired person before I gained over 100 pounds so I don’t know why I should have all of a sudden developed the tiredness syndrome.

The Weight Was the Problem for Me

Of course the weight was 99% of my problem. Yes, I had small children. Yes, they were busy. But the tiredness and lack of energy were primarily due to my weight and not the children. It’s hard to move around 300 pounds. It takes a lot of effort to keep 300 pounds balanced on two legs for any length of time. No wonder I was tired.

Tiredness was an excuse for me to keep sitting in one place. But thankfully, I did get off the couch and try to move my bulk around. And it wasn’t easy.

Those first months of dieting were an eye opening experience. I hadn’t realized or acknowledged how far away from fitness I had gotten. Those first walks I took – now they made me tired! I came home sweaty (Florida), tired, and hot. But I also came home with a glimmer of internal energy that I hadn’t experienced in a long time.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

That internal energy was a little spark telling me that I was moving in the right direction. For once in ten years I was making choices that were positive and helpful rather than negative and hurtful. That little spark stayed lit as long as I kept it moving.

Surprisingly to me, I did keep that internal spark alive and kept fanning the flames until I reached my fitness and weight goals. I am still amazed at how quickly my body changed, and how fast my level of fitness improved. Even when I was still 250 pounds, the amount of energy and “get up and go” I had was a far cry from my energy level at 300 pounds. And the energy level increased the more weight I lost and the more fit I became. It was like a miracle.

I hope that if you relate to my life before I lost the weight you are on your own path to finding that internal spark. It’s there in all of us, and will extinguish that “I’m Tired” excuse.

How did you find that internal motivation to improve you energy level and get healthier?  Diane

Photo Credit

 

Filed Under: excuses, Weight Loss

What’s the Root of Your Struggles with Weight?

September 28, 2011 By

I’ll answer that question for myself right now. Me. I was, and still can be the root of my personal weight struggles.

Honestly though – when I was 305 pounds and looking like this:

I had a hard time with the “root” of my weight issues. If anyone had asked me why I was having a hard time losing weight, I probably would have come up with about 326 excuses. They might have looked something like this:

Now I know that’s not really 326 excuses, but they were the ones that rolled easiest off my tongue when people “gently inquired” as to how I was doing on losing weight. As a side note, I’m still surprised how many people thought it would be okay to ask me about whether or not I was dieting or planning on dieting.

Somewhere deep in my heart I knew that it wasn’t okay to weigh this much, and that no amount of wishing and no number of excuses was going to make good things happen for me. Even though I knew what the root of my problem was, I found it easier to bury it under excuses than having to dig it up and look at it.

The brief times of success I had while on Weight Watchers were when I did acknowledge that I was my own problem. The 10 pounds I lost during that time were well-earned, but as soon as I stopped focusing on me, and what I needed to change, I gained the weight back and quit.

The longer I was obese, the more I tried to blame everything and everyone else for my problems. When faced with the reality of increasing health problems and looking like a balloon for the rest of my life – I finally acknowledged that the root problem was me. That acknowledgement wasn’t easy for me, because it was like saying I was failing.

In reality, I was failing myself. I had given up for a lot of years, and needed to get back to caring about myself and doing the right things for my health.

Over the 14 months that it took me to lose all that weight, I had times when I did try and blame outside circumstances for my weight. But I learned to recognize those thoughts, and remind myself that only I had the ability to stop eating so much. Only I had the capability to commit to working out. And no one but me was responsible for my weight.

I don’t know if I was alone in having difficulty taking the responsibility for my size. If you’ve ever had to struggle with that, I’d encourage you that just thinking about why you have weight struggles and owning up to bad habits or behaviors you have is a lifelong process. I still do it. On days when I don’t feel like working out, I remind myself that only I have the ability to walk out the door and exercise. No one can help me or “make” me do it. Just me.

Did you have to go through this kind of process to get on the right track? Was it hard? Diane

Filed Under: excuses, Weight Loss

Why Are You Doing This?

June 4, 2010 By

Some of you have been on this journey for a long time, and others for a shorter time. I think no matter where you are in your journey it is helpful to take a moment and revisit why you are doing all this hard work. And let’s be honest – losing weight is hard work. Good work–yes, but hard at times.

It can be easy to lose sight of why and get caught up in the weigh-ins, the food, the exercise, the highs, the lows. I know I did. I started out losing weight solely to get out of the 300′s and be able to wear clothes I bought in a store and didn’t sew on my machine. I wanted to fit into chairs, quit feeling too big for the room and quit being tired all the time.

Over time though, I sometimes lost sight of some of those reasons and just got discouraged with how long it was taking.

I wanted to ask you if it’s time for you to remember why you started working on your health and fitness. And to help you I’ve put together three questions, and I hope you will share to help others on their journey.

1. One reason I am working on my health and weight is: ______

2. One thing I’d like to do when I get to the weight I want to be is: ______

3. The biggest obstacle that is standing in the way of me reaching my goal is: _____ and I can overcome that obstacle by: _______

I found in my weight loss classes that writing down our goals, objectives and obstacles helps us stay focused and encourages us when we get discouraged.

I hope you will share your answers. So often, what we learn from other people are the very things that help make everything  “click” for us in our minds and in our hearts. There were many things I heard and read during the 10 years I struggled with obesity that motivated me, and even though I didn’t act on the motivation right away, I never forgot what they were. Somewhere in the back of my mind I remembered their success stories, and knew that someday that could be me. Diane

Filed Under: Choices, excuses, Weight Loss Tagged With: , ,

Injuries: Patience and Creativity Required

May 25, 2010 By

 Don’t forget to enter the Subway Giftcard Giveaway!!

Last year I was walking in my yard, minding my own business when a brick appeared out of nowhere and I banged my toe. Sadly, my foot had no shoe on, and reacted very poorly to being banged. I had broken my toe.

I was in pain.

My toe was swollen.

I was mad.

I was mad not just because I broke my toe, but because I knew that breaking my toe was going to severely limit the amount of exercise I was going to be able to do. No more brisk walking/occasional jogging for me. I was seriously annoyed. This wasn’t the first time in my 12 years of maintaining my 150 pound weight loss that I had been injured. Every time I hurt myself one of my first thoughts were, “What am I going to do about exercising and moving my body?”

Such a different response from when I was morbidly obese. At 300 pounds, injuries weren’t fun either-but I back then I wasn’t active at all, so I didn’t mind sitting on the couch even more than I normally did! I’d just load up on the treats and wait for the injury to go away. Not so after I lost my weight.

Now when I injure myself I check with my doctor and follow her recommendations. When I broke my toe, walking and running were out, but because my doctor didn’t cast my toe (thank goodness) there were other exercises I could still do-and I did them.

I checked out our local university’s swimming pool and started swimming. I pulled my son’s bicycle out of the garage and started biking again. And I didn’t stop strength training. During the month that it took my foot to start feeling better I was still able to exercise and move my body and I learned, once again, that sometimes in this journey to lose or maintain weight we have to be creative and patient.

If you have ever been injured you know what I’m talking about. Sometimes you can’t do any type of physical activity and then you really have to work through those frustrations and emotions. But there are other times, like I experienced, where I could do alternate training. Just so you know, I have had times where I injured my back so badly I could do no exercise for months. During those times I didn’t exercise or do much of anything, but I didn’t gain weight. How? I didn’t gain because I cut back on my calories enough to still maintain my weight. That wasn’t easy, but it worked for me.

So if you are injured, or get injured I wanted to encourage you that your journey doesn’t have to end. It may stall for a time and that’s okay. Take the time you need to heal, and when you can, add back some activity into your life.

Have you been injured? What did you do?  Diane

Always check with your doctor about any injury!

Filed Under: excuses, Exercise, Weight Loss Tagged With: ,

Fashionable Changes

May 18, 2010 By

Tonight at 10:00 p.m. ET/PT on CNBC there is a show called: One Nation, Overweight. Here’s a clip in case you are interested.

It’s spring and here in the south the weather is getting hotter by the day. It’s the time of year when I do a lot of spring cleaning, which I dislike a lot! Necessary but not so much fun. One thing that I do when I spring clean is switch out the children’s clothes from winter to summer ones. People ask me how in the world I do it with so many kids, but it really isn’t that hard – just time consuming. We have a really large closet in our rec room which houses all the boys clothes in various sizes. I hang all the shirts in size order and have the pants/shorts/pajamas in bins. Then we just do a switcheroo, with the boys trying on clothes so we can see what size they are. And in a few hours, it’s done. In case you are curious, here’s a picture of the boys closet!

My clothes all fit in one closet so I don’t have to change anything around – just switch from the winter side to the summer side. In switching around clothes I thought about how my fashion sense changed after I lost weight. Before I gained all my weight I enjoyed shopping and wore fairly trendy teenage clothes. When I started gaining weight I stopped tucking in clothes and began buying oversized shirts which I hoped hid things that were growing. They did not. Here’s a picture of me my second year of marriage. I had gained about 30 pounds. The top I was wearing wasn’t flattering, but it was loose and I felt like it hid my weight gain. Which I now see it did not.

 

When I went from merely overweight to morbidly obese I started wearing clothes like this. These jumpers accommodated my growing girth and it didn’t really matter if I gained another 10 pounds because the clothes seemed to fit the same.

Matching Jumpers

As I lost some weight (finally) I started buying cuter clothes. This outfit was one of the first ones I wore that made me feel stylish.

Cuter Clothes Coming

 And as I lost more and more weight I cared more and more about the clothes I wore. I stopped buying knit pants with elastic waistbands and instead bought pants with a waistband and a zipper. How novel!

To this day, other than my workout pants I don’t own a single pair of pants or any skirt that has an elastic waist. All my clothes have fitted waistbands. I didn’t know Dr. Oz at the time, but that is one of his 10 commandments. In fact, it’s number one. Don’t wear stretchy pants! I agree with him, because stretchy pants are very easy to wear and it can be very hard to tell if your waist is getting bigger!

Question: How do you feel about your clothing style as you’ve lost weight? Has it changed, and will you wear elastic waist pants ever again?  Diane

Filed Under: Appearance, excuses Tagged With: , ,

Weekend Eating

March 19, 2010 By

I loved the weekends. Weekend food was fun. Cinnabons in the mall. (Yes, the plural was deliberate) Large buttered popcorn at the movie theatre, chips and cheese after the kids went to bed, special “just because” desserts and fast food restaurants were normal fare for me before I lost 150 pounds. Why is it that even when I was dieting, which quite frankly was often, would I throw all care and concern out the window just because the clock said 5:00 p.m. and the calendar declared “The Weekend Has Begun!”

Weekends throw us off our schedules. Monday thru Fridays are predictable for a lot of us. Weekday by weekday we go through our days knowing what to expect. Predictability helps with weight loss. So when the weekend comes around with its crazy kids schedules, get togethers with family, birthday parties and errand running, our predictable eating schedule is out the window. Unfortunately for me, also out the window would go any semblance of making good choices. I really wouldeat 2 Cinnabons, which I now know have 813 calories a piece, washed down with a diet coke.

I would let the freedom of the weekend schedule be an excuse to “take a break” from my diet and every time I did that, I’d fail to start my diet back on Monday. The freedom of weekend schedules can be wonderful. It’s healthy emotionally to have some days during the week that you are able to catch up with friends and get some things done around the house. But with that freedom comes the pitfall and danger of letting down your guard with regards to your food choices. Year after year went by with me using the day of the calendar as an excuse to eat whatever I wanted. And year after year I got bigger and bigger.

The year I lost weight I realized that weekends were yet another thing I had to worry about.

Previously the different diets I had tried felt restrictive and rule oriented, so when I started losing weight using my own plan, I wanted to lose weight in a way that I could follow always, not just on the weekdays, and not just until I lost weight. I wanted something that really would become a new way of life for me.

So using my three steps, I started losing weight. Weekends which were previously a food free for all became less about the food and more about relaxing and enjoying the family being together. I consciously chose to not overeat, not buy the Cinnabon when we were at the mall, and bring my own snack to the movies. (I know, you’re not supposed to do that, but who is  going to tell?!)

Realizing and acknowledging that weekends were dangerous for me was one more step towards achieving my goals. As you head out for kids ball games, trips to mall, cookouts with family and friends, remind yourself that the weekends are about recharging your emotional batteries, and not about eating as much food as you possibly can! 

Even to this day, all these years into maintenance I am still deliberate about not overeating on the weekends. How do you do on the weekends now as opposed to before you started getting healthier?  Diane

Filed Under: Choices, excuses, obesity, Weight Loss Tagged With: , ,

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses – “I’m Not Ready”

March 17, 2010 By

In a previous posts I’ve talked about some excuses that I hear when people try to explain to me why they just can’t seem to diet and lose weight. There are a myriad of them, and I used them all at one time or another. Here’s one excuse that I hear very frequently – not only as a reason to not get started but as a reason peole quit before they reach their goals. And when I say “people” I’m including myself, because this is something I said over and over again!

It is:

I’m just not ready.

Like I said, I used this one myself for years, so I can come at this excuse from both sides.  From the side of having lost 150 pounds and kept it off, and the side of weighing 300 pounds and telling friends, “I’m just not ready to commit to a weight loss program.”  When people tell me this now, this is what I think: What are you not ready for:

High blood pressure? 

Bigger sized clothes? 

Diabetes? 

Difficulty with your joints? 

What?”  

When we use the excuse, “I’m not ready,” what are we really saving?  We are saying “I’d rather deal with all the problems being overweight brings, than try one more time to get my weight under control.” 

That’s what I said.  I’d rather not fit into the seat belt or develop a potentially serious health issue than try to get healthy.  This excuse really doesn’t make any sense does it?  After all, who would willingly choose the unfortunate consequences of obesity over the benefits of healthy living?  When you see it written like that, it may give you pause.  Has your doctor ever cautioned you about what lies ahead if your weight doesn’t improve?  Mine did, and I didn’t listen very well.  He told me that I was heading down a slippery slope that was going to be harder and harder to climb up if I kept letting my weight creep up.

He was right.  It was a lot harder to lose 150 pounds than to lose the 50 I needed to at that point in time.  I didn’t listen to him then, but rather continued to gain and gain.  If you are midway through your journey right now, don’t be tempted to give up and tell yourself “I’m not ready to finish,” and let it go at that.  Tell yourself, “I’ll never be READY, so I may as well continue/start right now.”  That’s what I finally did.  I realized there was no perfect month to start.  There was no perfect day to get started, and there was no magic to a certain program.  I started, and I didn’t completely stop until I reached my goal weight.  It’s not about how long it takes, but the fact that you continue to try that’s important.

Have you ever felt “not ready” to get started? Do you ever feel that way along your journey?  How do you keep on track?  Diane

Filed Under: excuses, Weight Loss Tagged With: ,

Afternoons Can Be Dangerous

March 4, 2010 By

I wanted to thank everyone for their insightful comments on yesterday’s post on Fat Acceptance. It’s a touchy subject and I think everyone had some great thoughts. Reading your comments made me appreciate yet again the power and depth of the blogging community.

What is it about the afternoon that is so difficult? Every morning of the ten years I struggled with my weight I’d swear that I was going to have a good eating day. And sometimes I’d do okay in the morning, but once about 2:30 p.m. rolled around, the afternoon munchie monster began rearing its ugly head.

monster

I’m still amazed at how much I was able to eat in one afternoon. I tried to resist, but oftentimes ended up eating one unhealthy food after another. For example, I may have eaten half a bag of chips, a handful or two of cookies, some leftover biscuits smothered with butter, a spoonful or twelve of ice cream, and anything else I could get my hands on. The couple of hours before dinner time were so hard for me to control my eating.

Even when I was officially “dieting” and had purged the house of most unhealthy foods, I would find all sorts of things to eat. I’d make muffins or cookies. I’d eat the kids animal crackers by the bagful, and search the recesses of the pantry in search for something “good” to eat. The afternoon munchie monster was in full swing. After I had eaten all I could, I’d be so annoyed at myself. Why did I just eat all that when I was so determined to be good that day?

I think there were several factors that contributed to me giving into the afternoon munchie monster:

I didn’t plan ahead.

I had too many tempting foods around.

I thought I had to deprive myself of most sweets to be successful.

I was easily pulled into an emotional eating vortex.

Way back in 1997, when I finally lost my 158 pounds, I worked really hard to conquer the afternoon problem. I used the kitchen timer like I talked about on Dr. Oz. I set it for 15 minutes when I felt the urge to overeat, and nine times out of ten when the timer rang I determined that I wasn’t really hungry, but rather experiencing another type of emotional hunger. In addition to the kitchen timer, I also made sure I had some healthy snacks that I liked around. This made a big difference. And finally, I did not beat myself up if I made a mistake.

Is the afternoon a potentially difficult time for you? If so, what strategies do you employ to tame the monster?  Diane

Filed Under: cooking, excuses, Weight Loss Tagged With: , ,

Portions Just For Me

February 25, 2010 By

When I was a big girl, wearing upwards of a size 26/28, I was always concerned about where my next meal would come from.  Would we go out to eat?  Would I secretly swing through a drive thru window?  Would I cook?  If it were the latter, then I began planning my meals early in the day, so I could have something fun to look foward to later.  I would think about what I would serve with the meal, what kind of bread I was going have, and most importantly what dessert would be.

Early afternoon would find me at the stove, cooking a meal for our family.  I liked to experiment with recipes, and once I had a few children, discovered I really did like to cook.  Turned out to be a good thing, as we now have a family of nine!  Before we had all the other children, I often made recipes that were high in fat and calories, like chicken cordon bleu.  I’d serve it with a salad, doused in dressing of course, veggies swimming in butter and salt, and possibly some fruit.  One thing I always did was make sure I had the biggest portions.

When the dinner was finished cooking, I’d be the one serving the meals.  I’d lay out the plates, dole out everyone’s food, saving my plate for last.  I’d load up my plate with the biggest piece of chicken I could get away with, making sure to spoon plenty of sauce on top of it.  As we ate, I’d find myself surepeticiously watching everyone else eat, wondering if they would want more, or could I have the rest?  If they wanted more, I’d give it to them, but then I’d remind myself that there was plenty of chocolate cake sitting on the counter for me!

Dessert time came, and once again, the largest piece was mine.  Besides having the largest piece, I’d also pick at the cake while I was serving the others.  After all, that’s the cook’s privilege isn’t it?  Looking back, I not only ate the largest amount, I probably ate double what anyone else did by the time I added in the extra nibbles here and there.  I was so obsessed with food that I ate and served myself way more than was appropriate.

These days, I still like to cook, but no longer serve myself the biggest portion. Now, I serve myself appropriate portion sizes, and don’t worry where my next meal will come from.  I’m no longer embarrassed when the family asks, “Is there anymore chicken left?”   I know how to control my portion sizes, and understand that if I eat more food than I should, I will gain weight.

Portion sizes at restaurants are hard to control, but when you cook at home, it’s so important to control how much you are serving yourself and how much you are eating. Learning to be satisfied with just one portion of food, be it a main dish entree or a piece of fruit has made living with maintenance all these years so much easier.

How are you at portion control? Do you find it harder at home, or harder away from home? Diane

Filed Under: cooking, excuses Tagged With: , ,

Temporary Maintenance

February 17, 2010 By

I wanted to thank you all for your nice words and encouraging comments from my Dr. Oz show appearance. It was an amazing experience, and I just so appreciate all of your support and good wishes!

I’ve had a hard time concentrating on writing (I wonder why) but one topic that keeps popping into my mind today is maintenance. Dr. Oz said on the show that losing weight was great, but it was maintaining the weight that made him happy. And that’s exactly how I feel. I lost a lot of weight over the 10 years that I was obese, but I never was able to maintain or sustain the weight loss. So here are some thoughts on temporary maintenance – because getting to goal and staying there is most of our goals. At least it was for me!

You know, I’ve read a lot of blogs over the past 10 months and one really great thing I see happening sometimes is that people have lost weight and then hit a plateau of sorts. It can be a plateau very close to their goal weight, or a plateau which is still quite far from their goal. But what I love to see is that in spite of the plateau they aren’t quitting. Rather they are content to work hard at exercise and eating right while at the same time holding steady at their weight. I know that Vickie has talked about this on her blog before.

I call this temporary maintenance. Temporary maintenance is a good thing. It’s a more positive phrase than “stuck on a plateau.” Sometimes this temporary maintenance is deliberate and other times it just happens. But either way, it can be a really important part of your journey. Why?

Because when you are in temporary maintenance you are maintaining. And maintaining is your long term goal. Sure you have a long term goal of losing “x” number of pounds, but more importantly, a longer term goal should be the maintenance of the loss of those “x” pounds! Right? Right. So temporarily maintaining a weight loss, be it for two weeks or two years, isn’t always a bad place to be. It can be frustrating, but if you try and look at that time as a learning experience then perhaps the frustration and inevitable temptation to fall back into old habits can be squashed.

Here are some positive things about temporary maintenance:

♥ You aren’t gaining

♥ You can focus on eating healthy

♥ You can exercise consistently

♥ You can “play” around with food intake, determining where the balance point is

♥ You can try new things

When I was losing weight that final times, I didn’t have any really long periods of temporary maintenance – but there were the occasional weeks or two where my weight seemed to stabilize. And it stabilized at about every 50 pounds. At 250 it stopped for a bit, at about 199 it stopped again. Both times, instead of getting frustrated I remembered how far I had come and how happy I was to be where I was right then. Focusing on the positive aspects of all I had accomplished really helped me too.

How do you react when you hit a temporary maintenance point? Diane

Filed Under: excuses, Weight Loss, Weight Maintenance Tagged With: ,
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