Should You Focus on Goals or Behaviors?

January 21, 2013 by

I got a very excellent question from a reader over the weekend. She was interested in whether focusing on goals or behaviors was more important in the weight loss process.

This is such an important concept to consider in many areas of our lives, but especially when trying to get to a healthier weight. Losing weight does involve setting goals, it does involve changing behaviors, and it does involve a lot of soul-searching.

Goal setting is absolutely important in the weight loss and fitness arenas; however, we sometimes get so involved in setting goals that we forget what will ultimately lead us to meeting those goals.

Behavioral changes enable us to meet goals.

Behavioral changes and healthy choices are what get us to that ultimate goal of losing weight and keeping it off. Without change, there is no way you will reach your goal. For example, as I outline in my book, one of the techniques I decided to use to get to a healthier weight was to exercise regularly. My goal was to start an exercise program, but unless I made the behavioral change of getting up earlier and actually walking down the street, I was never going to meet that goal.

Another example of a necessary behavioral change is our food choices. We may set a goal of eating less processed food, but unless we change our purchasing behavior and consumption of processed foods, we will not ever reach that particular goal. Portion control is another behavioral change that is necessary to help us not only control calories, but also to learn to be satisfied with a reasonable portion. (This can be hard in our super-sized society.)

Other areas in the weight loss arena that involve behavioral changes may be making a commitment to eating breakfast, running a certain distance, becoming more flexible, reducing the number of calories eaten, or counting calories. Each of those goals require at least one or more behaviors.

If you focus only on a goal such as “I’m going to lose 20 pounds by March 1st,” you may find yourself easily discouraged if you do not meet that goal. Likewise, if you set a goal of fitting into a certain pair of jeans by a high school reunion or other event, and don’t reach your goal, you may quit trying.

I used to be very guilty of setting what turned out to be unrealistic goals and quitting my weight loss efforts. I also failed in changing my behaviors to meet those goals which were attainable. I somehow wanted the whole weight loss process to magically work without a lot of behavioral changes. For most of us, we have become overweight because of poor choices in certain areas of our lives – whether it is food choices, a sedentary lifestyle, or a combination of both.

For us, behavioral changes allow us to meet our goals.

As you move from weight loss to weight maintenance, cementing those positive behavioral changes by practice, practice, practice can help you maintain your weight for years to come.

What do you think? How are behavioral changes and goal setting interlinked in weight loss? Diane

Filed Under: excuses, Exercise, goal setting, Weight Loss

Is Setting a Goal Weight Necessary?

March 16, 2012 by

Do you set a goal weight when you set off on a weight loss journey?

I’ll share with you how I decided what weight I’d like to be, and I’d be really interested in hearing what your thoughts or ideas are on the subject. When I started on my 512th attempt to lose weight I didn’t really know where I would end up. Frankly, I wasn’t even sure I’d stick with my plan.

So in the beginning, my initial goal was to: LOSE WEIGHT.

That’s right, I had no real end point because I couldn’t let myself believe that I might actually have some success. So after several weeks of steady weight loss, I began setting some small weight goals. “I’ll be so happy when I’m under 270.” Then, “What will it feel like to be 249?” And so on.

Little by little the weight came off, and even after I had lost the first 100 pounds, I still didn’t have a firm goal weight in mind. The more I lost, the more people asked me. “When are you going to stop losing weight?” Or, “Are you done yet?” I always answered them in the same way, “When I get there, I’ll know.”

Once I got under 200 pounds, there was no stopping me. I knew I was doing it, and everyone could finally tell. But when should I stop? Quite frankly, I could have stopped there. At that point I was wearing a size 16 (I’m tall) and looked about 1000% better than I had before. I think that’s why so many people kept asking me if I was done.

I began really thinking about what I wanted to accomplish with my weight loss. Should I just be satisfied with looking so much better, or should I keep going until I felt much better. I was feeling better at 199 than I had at 270, but did I feel good enough? I decided I didn’t, and still didn’t set a number goal. Over the next several months, as the weight continued to come off, I constantly reassessed how I was feeling about myself, how I felt about my appearance, and rather or not I felt done.

One day, it came. It wasn’t a certain weight on the scale, but rather a satisfaction within myself that I was happy with where I was. I was satisfied. I was done. And I stopped trying to lose more weight, and instead started learning how to maintain the loss.

If you set a goal weight, how did you decide what it should be? Or if you have chosen not to set a goal weight, why not? As always, I love to hear your thoughts and comments. Diane

 

Filed Under: goal setting, Weight Loss

Are You Thinking of the Weight Loss Process Backwards?

January 18, 2012 by

Sometimes the weight loss journey seems endless doesn’t it? It did for me. Whether I was at the point early in my marriage where I had gained 35 pounds, or later on, when I had gained 150 pounds, the goal seemed just as far away. And although the 150 pound goal was father away, my perception didn’t change.

I’d never get there.

Do you feel that way sometimes? All your weekly hard work results in such small losses on the scale that it is tempting to give up and have some ice cream. Exercising for three days in a row should cause us to lose at least 5 pounds shouldn’t it?

For me, the problem was expectations. In my daily life, I expected that when I did something I would see results very quickly. At work, making calls resulted in action, not stagnation.

As you are traveling your weight loss road, I’d encourage you to think of your goal weight as the starting point, not the ending point. Reaching my goal started me on a new journey that has been filled with wonderful experiences I may have missed at 300 pounds.

The thought of starting your journey at your goal weight makes you think differently doesn’t it? It did for me. The weight loss journey can be a long one, or it can be short, depending on your goals and objectives. My journey into obesity took 10 years, and although I had great times and memories along the way, being obese was difficult.

As you lose weight, try hard to remember there is life after weight loss. What will that life look like? Will you go back to old eating habits and regain your weight? Will you start a new career, begin a family or like me, have more children? Will there be things you will participate in then, that that you don’t feel comfortable doing now? If so, what? For me, I wanted to be able to:

  • play with my kids easily
  • go swimming
  • ride a bike
  • roller blade
  • not get stuck in chairs
  • fasten seatbelts without an extender
  • ride amusement park rides
  • not be tired all the time
  • bring down my blood pressure

You see, if you don’t think of your ending point as your starting point, you may be missing the point of weight loss. The goal of all this hard work is to enable you to enjoy life more, and do things more easily. To get to a weight where you feel comfortable in your own skin.

Once I reached my goal weight, I finally understood that I had a second chance at the life I had lost by being overweight for so many years. I felt free to enjoy life in a different way. When I was obese I knew I was missing things, I just didn’t realize how much. Once I got to a healthy weight, I determined in my heart to embrace new experiences, and taste the sweetness of day to day life every day.

Don’t get so caught up in the journey that you forget what the goal is. The goal is to live life in a fuller, healthier way – not just at the moment you reach that elusive perfect number on the scale, but rather because you are a healthier, more fit person!

What are some of your goals for yourself when you start on your new journey?  Diane

 

Filed Under: goal setting, Weight Loss

The Importance of Healthy Goals

December 5, 2011 by

A Gallup poll on obesity, desired body weight, and changing perceptions over the years caught my eye the other day. The study, reported by Fox News, indicated that the average American weighs about 20 pounds more than they did 20 years ago. This is plenty obvious to me by just looking around the mall, visiting a school, or sitting at a concert.

What was of particular interest to me was the desired goal weight of the people surveyed.

Men indicated they wanted to weigh 181 pounds, and women said their ideal weight was 138 pounds.

We are further away from those goal weights now than ever before, yet many Americans do not consider themselves overweight or think it matters.

On Facebook the other day, a friend of a friend of a friend posted this on her wall:

Honey, I’m cute in the face, and I’m thick in the waist. I look good whether I’m in cotton, leather, or lace. I’m beautiful, vibrant and above all, smart! And there’s more to me than my weight.  We all are not self-conscious about our weight. . .

For some reason this made me both sad and happy. I was happy that this woman enjoyed a healthy self-esteem, but also sad that she did not see the the necessity to get to a healthy weight, or seem to understand the health-related dangers that long-term obesity can bring.

The “ideal weights” from the people in the survey seemed reasonable to me, given that the average man is about 5’10″ inches, and the average woman about 5’5″.  What is concerning is that even though we all have a an idea of what we’d ideally like to weigh, the majority of Americans cannot seem to get there.

Part of the weight loss process is setting healthy goals and taking the action you need to actually meet those goals. It is not enough to say, “I’d like to weigh 138 pounds” but not do anything about it, or to say, “I’m embracing my overweight self so there.

I was very excellent at saying I wanted to lose weight, but not very successful at the follow through. Unlike the woman on Facebook, I never really embraced my obesity because I was not healthy or happy weighing 300 pounds.

Setting healthy goals and acknowledging your need to lose weight are one of the first steps to take when losing weight. So many of you have done that and I love reading your stories about how you are beating this obesity monster that looms large in America and passing your healthy mindset onto others.

Although I did not set a specific goal weight when I began to lose weight, I had some healthy goals for myself that I never lost sight of.

Here’s a few from my list from way back then:

- Be able to climb a set of stairs without huffing and puffing.

- Have the ability to run with (or after) my kids.

- Not wake up every morning feeling like a beached whale.

- Learn to make meals that were healthy and tasty.

What were (are) some of your healthy goals that have helped you move past just talking about getting healthy and actually do it? Diane

Filed Under: goal setting, Weight Loss

Goals Should Be More Than Just Pounds Lost

October 19, 2011 by

From the time I was small I always had some goal or achievement  I was striving for.  Whether it was being the class monitor in grade school, or winning a prize in high school, I was always trying to better myself.  I didn’t always succeed in meeting my goals, but I always tried.  Even as I got fatter and fatter, I still had many goals for myself.  I wanted a large family.  I wanted a good marriage.  I wanted to be more committed to my faith. I wanted my family to not worry about material things.  But in addition to all those family and faith related goals,  I had one overriding goal:  I wanted to lose weight!  And believe me I did try.

As time marched on and the scale inched up, I continually set weight goals for myself.  “Okay,” I’d tell myself.  “I’ll lose 5 pounds this week, 4 pounds the next week and by Easter I’ll be down to 270.”  When Easter rolled around and I hadn’t lost an ounce, I’d reset the finish date for the 10 pound weight loss in my head.  “Okay, now I’ll weigh 270 by Mother’s Day,” I’d reassure myself.  No matter what time of year it was, I always had a specific goal floating around in my head with regards to weight loss, but I never could seem to reach even the first week’s goal. Surprisingly, after ten years of never reaching the first weight loss goal I had set for myself, I still didn’t completely give up.

I think it is very important to set goals for yourself in every area of your life.  When you aim for nothing that’s probably what you will get.  What’s the best way to set goals for yourself with regards to your weight?  Well, I was pretty unrealistic during my obese years as to how much weight I could actually lose during a given period of time.  I just hoped that I could lose “x” number of pounds, but didn’t stop to examine whether that was an appropriate amount of weight to lose, or if it was even possible.  When I finally developed my weight loss strategy,  I acknowledged to myself that I had to set some realistic goals.  No, I wouldn’t be able to lose 50 pounds in one month.  No, I wouldn’t be running in the 5K for charity in two months.

Goal setting for me became less specific about pounds lost during a period of time, and more about handling specific situations.  You see, when I stopped being obsessed by the scale, and started focusing on habits and behaviors I had developed and wanted to change, I started having success.  The actual weight on the scale was still very important to me, as that was my first tangible measurement I could see change.  But other goals became important as well.  Here are some examples of goals I wrote down for myself as I was starting to lose weight:

  • Stop buying chocolate
  • Don’t eat after dinner
  • Walk every day
  • Stop going through drive-thru restaurants
  • Eat only one portion of a food at a time (ie:  not the whole box of crackers, even if they were low-fat)
  • Weigh every day
  • Enjoy the food I was eating instead of inhaling it so fast I forgot what it tasted like in two seconds and had to have more to make sure I really liked it
  • Spend more time actively engaged with my family
  • Get off the couch most of the day
  • Work on developing new social relationships

These were just some of the goals I set for myself that weren’t all about the number on the scale.  Because I had some goals that weren’t just about pounds lost, I saw success on an hourly and on a daily basis.  Even when my weight loss wasn’t quick, I could always look back at my list and know that I was slowly conquering my obsession with food in a healthy, practical way.

Are there goals beyond the scale that you have set for yourself?    Diane

 

Filed Under: goal setting

Big Goals Broken Apart Are Manageable

September 26, 2011 by

For a long time I meandered through my daily life as an obese woman without any specific goals for myself. As a young mom with two small daughters, I often thought that just taking a shower was a big accomplishment. And if I put on make-up that day I was doing really well. I remember so many times where the whole day would slip by and I would get nothing of substance accomplished. I did all the proper “mom” things. I cooked, I cleaned, I played with the girls, I read books to them, I did laundry. I feel like I was a good mother during that time, but I wasn’t taking any time to improve my own personal health.

At 300 pounds I couldn’t even fathom what losing over 100 pounds would look like. The thought of losing that much weight was absolutely overwhelming and seemed impossible. Not to say I didn’t try. I was always on some kind of diet, trying some kind of new recipe and always thinking about losing weight. Unfortunately, what I never did was move beyond thinking about it, to actually doing it. Part of the problem was that I couldn’t seem to set any realistic goals for myself.

If I did think about setting a goal, I automatically went for the “big goal.” I’ve got to lose over 100 pounds. That was the goal. I never thought of setting weight loss goals in increments. Had I done that, I might have been satisfied with the random 10 or 15 pounds I lost over and over.

Instead, when I did manage to lose a few pounds, the “big goal” seemed so far away that I just gave up and went back to the pantry for more chocolate. Chocolate may have made me feel better for a few minutes, but it only hastened the regaining of my lost 10 pounds.

When I finally started with my Fit to the Finish plan, I realized that starting out with the “big goal” wasn’t going to work. After all, it had never worked in the past. So that time, instead of looking at the enormity of the weight I had to lose, I broke it into steps and pieces. I knew I couldn’t lose 20 pounds in one day, or in one week, or probably in one month. So rather than just looking at the pounds lost, I reoriented my thinking in terms of five pound steps. When I got to 279, that was fabulous, and instead of looking ahead to 199, I thought about when I hit 274. And then what I would feel like at 269, and 264. I went down five pounds by five pounds on the scale, until one day I did hit 199. And then I hit 179, and 169 and so on.

Step by step it worked. By focusing on small pieces of the big picture, I was finally able to move from “thinking” about weight loss to actually “doing” weight loss. And with each five pounds I lost, I gained a little bit of confidence that this time was going to be different. This time I would finally lose more than 10 pounds, and I would actually keep it off. It worked. Thirteen years have gone by now, and throughout those years I’ve had struggles like the rest of you.  But I never lost sight of what it felt like to be overweight, and knew I never wanted to go back.

So as you begin your weekend, what small goals can you set for yourself?  They don’t have to be huge, sweeping goals, but rather just small changes to move you closer to where you want to be. My goal for this week is to break out my cookbooks and get some new recipes on the menu for October. Some recipes that are tasty, healthy, and ones that even my four-year-old will like. Wish me luck! 

What is your goal for this week?  Diane

 

Filed Under: goal setting

Progress Is Made When. . .

June 15, 2010 by

No matter where you are in your journey, you have already made progress. If you have been working on getting healthier for just one week you have made some progress. You may not have lost any weight yet, but you’ve made progress just by taking the first step towards working on your health.

I worked with a woman once who needed to lose over 200 pounds. She turned to me because her doctor kept recommending gastric bypass surgery for her and that wasn’t a choice she wanted to make. So she and I met on a regular basis and we worked on her eating and lifestyle habits one at a time. I still remember when she lost her first 50 pounds. She was thrilled beyond words, but she couldn’t tell she had lost any weight, and quite honestly, neither could I.

To keep her from getting frustrated we sat down at made a list of all the progress she had made that other people could not see. I think it’s important to think of our progress not solely in terms of the number on the scale, but in relation to where we used to be. On my own personal journey to go from weight loss failure to weight loss success, I often wrote down all the different areas in which I had progressed. I could see that I was losing weight, but I also knew in my heart that I was changing from the inside out.

Here are three things I vividly remember from my weight loss days:

1. I knew I was making progress when I was able to say no to a dessert at a friend’s house and not feel sad afterwards.

2. I knew I was making progress when I could fit in a chair and get out without bringing the chair up still attached to my behind.

3. I knew I was making progress when I could walk around my neighborhood streets without feeling like I needed to call 911 to get home.

I want to encourage you to look for all those ways that you are making progress. It doesn’t matter if you are at the beginning, middle or end of your journey. We are always changing, evolving and growing. How do you finish this sentence?

I know I’m making progress when. . .         Diane

Filed Under: goal setting, obesity, Weight Loss Tagged With: ,

Two Very Different Visits

May 6, 2010 by

stethescopeAfter my third child’s birth I lost my usual 15 pounds and was depressed to realize I would once again be gaining weight and heading further into the 300′s. I felt so out of control and incredibly unmotivated. In early ’97 I went to the doctor for a check-up. It was right after that visit that my desire met action and my weight loss efforts finally kicked in and I got started. It took me 14 months from that visit to lose 150 pounds.

Late the next spring I went back to the doctor for my annual exam. I hadn’t seen the doctor since my last embarrassment on the scale.

I walked up to the receptionist, signed the sheet and sat down. Only one other person was in the waiting room at the time, and he was soon called back. I waited, and waited, and waited. Finally, the door to the inner sanctum opened and the nurse stuck her head through the crack in the door. She looked at the chart, looked at me, glanced around the waiting room and shut the door. Confused, I looked anxiously at the door, wondering where she had gone. A few seconds later the door opened again and the same nurse called my name. As I was walking across the room towards her she said, “You are Diane aren’t you?” I nodded. She said, “I looked at the chart right before I came to get you and noticed the weight. When I opened the door and saw you sitting there I thought I had the wrong chart!”  I said, “I’ve lost some weight.”  “SOME WEIGHT!” she exclaimed, “I would say so.” This time, when I got on the scale I felt a feeling I had never felt before. I felt proud that I finally was the weight I should be. As we walked to the exam room, she told everyone she saw, “She lost 150 pounds!”  For a change, I didn’t mind that appointment!

The doctor just about fell off his chair when I told him I had lost weight using good old fashioned diet and exercise. He told me, “I honestly thought you would end up having to have some kind of surgical procedure, or just keep gaining weight.” Needless to say he was quite happy with me for a change.

Experiences like that help reinforce to me that weight lost and weight maintenance affect all the experiences we have in our lives. Although I didn’t put off going to the doctor because of my obesity, I do know people who do. I would encourage you to get regular check-ups, etc. Every time I visit the doctor these days I’m so thankful that despite any other problems I may have, obesity isn’t one of them. 

Question:  Have you ever avoided the doctor because of your weight?  Diane

Filed Under: Appearance, goal setting, self esteem, Weight Loss Tagged With: , ,

How Much Weight Should I Lose?

February 10, 2010 by

How much weight do you want to lose?  10 pounds?  20 pounds? 30, 40, 50 or more?  When I was so overweight, the thought of losing over 150 pounds was absolutely daunting.  I honestly could not see how it would be possible to lose over half of my body weight.  If you are not overweight by such a large amount, it still may seem impossible for you to lose the amount of weight you desire.  Your 20 pounds may seem as unattainable to you as my 150 pounds did to me.  For me, as time marched by and my weight didn’t budge I tried to stop thinking about how much I needed to lose, and for a while I stopped trying to lose weight. 

But the day finally came when I got serious and committedto weight loss.  If you ever listen to Dave Ramsey, you will recall he often tells people to focus on their debt with gazelle like intensity.  That’s what I did.  I focused on myself and my health with the intensity of a gazelle.  For once I didn’t let myself get distracted by the amount of weight I should lose and give up.  Like the gazelle, who uses intense visual awareness of its surroundings to stay alive in their habitat, I used intense mental focus to stay on course.  In my weight loss attempts, one big distraction for me had always been the amount of weight I had to lose.  Let’s be real here – 150 pounds is an average size woman.  My neighbor at the time probably weighed about 150 pounds.  I needed to lose her. 

As I started to have success, and people could finally tell I was losing weight, I was bombarded with questions like, “How much weight are you going to lose? When will you stop? How do you know when you’ve lost the right amount?”  I vaguely answered these queries.  You see, I wasn’t exactly sure what I wanted to weigh, because it had been so long since I had been a normal weight.  I had determined that I wouldn’t focus on the number of pounds lost, but rather on how I was feeling about myself.  The first time I saw 199 on the scale was a day of rejoicing.  Hallelujah!  But I wasn’t done yet.  I didn’t feel done.  I hadn’t quite reached the point of satisfaction with my physical abilities and my appearance. 

From there, as the scale crept slowly down, I would often assess where I was. 

  • Clothing size
  • Activity level
  • Self-esteem
  • Energy level
  • Blood pressure 
  • Appearance 

I realized that for me, the number on the scale had become less important to me than how I felt about myself.  At almost 5′10″ did it really matter physically if I was 170 or 150 pounds?  No.  But as I started to get closer to an appropriate weight for my height, I could tell I was almost done losing weight.  When I reached the point where I felt confident and energetic  I knew I was finished.  I had reached all the goals I set for myself.  I could finally run without thinking I was dying.  I could shop in a regular sized store.  I didn’t waddle when I walked.  People had stopped asking me if I was pregnant.  My blood pressure was great.  I was done. 

I learned a lot about myself during those 14 months.  One thing I learned was it’s not always about the number on the scale.  There are a lot of mitigating circumstances surrounding weight and each person, preferably with their doctor’s input, should examine where they desire to be.  And then try.  Try again, because if you don’t try again, how will you ever know if today would have been the day for you?  Diane

Today is the last day to enter the Gym In A Bag Giveaway! I will close comments at midnight CST! Thanks to everyone who entered. You will love, love, love it!

  

Filed Under: goal setting, Weight Loss Tagged With: ,

Are You Prepared For The Long Trip?

February 2, 2010 by

gearshiftWhen I first started gaining weight on my honeymoon I was frustrated. The first three years of our marriage saw the scale move up about 45 pounds. Fortunately for me I’m just shy of 5’10″ so I can “carry” a little more weight than someone who is 5’3″. Nonetheless, the weight wasn’t flattering nor healthy. And then when I went from merely overweight to morbidly obese after my first pregnancy, well, I was frustrated.

I was also in a hurry. I was in a hurry to lose the extra weight I had so willingly piled on and get “on with my life.” And being in a hurry, I tried numerous diet plans with very little success. Every diet plan promised results, and most of them were fine and decent plans. But no diet plan promised the quick results I wanted. And thus, I didn’t stick with any of those plans long enough to lose more than 20 pounds. And when you need to lose 150 pounds, 20 pounds isn’t much. Especially considering that I promptly gained that 20 pounds back and usually added a few to go with it.

My problem? Well – there were many. But one problem I had was that I was in a hurry and wanted immediate and steady results. As we all know, weight loss doesn’t cooperate by falling down in a steady, slow line. Rather it zigs and zags, hops around, and sometimes stagnates like an ugly green pond full of algae.

And who wants to sit in the same ugly place? I certainly didn’t.  So I would quit when things got hard, or I got bored, or my weight loss stalled.

It’s funny because although I couldn’t tolerate a slow diet plan, I tolerated being morbidly obese for years and years and years. That makes no sense to me at all.

So when I finally started losing weight by following my Fit to the Finish plan, I set out with a different mindset from the very beginning. I gave myself a little pep talk and reminded myself that I hadn’t gained all this weight in two months and I certainly wasn’t going to lose it in two months. So I tried to prepare myself for the long-term road that I knew was ahead of me.

Going into the process with that realization made me much more prepared for the inevitable periods of boredom and frustration that came during my 14 months of weight loss. And bored and frustrated I did get.

Quite frankly, it gets boring watching every bite that goes into our mouths, or at least it did for me. It was frustrating to feel like I was doing all the right things and either no one was noticing or the scale wasn’t moving.  But I was prepared for a long trip so I just buckled my seat belt and kept driving forward.

Because I knew that going backwards wasn’t an option. Because if I put myself in reverse then I would end up gaining the weight I had fought to lose and I knew I didn’t want to do that.

So as you face your journey head on and feel the urge to get frustrated and quit – remember that it’s a long trip. It’s okay to take a detour to “maintain” where you are for a while, but it is important to try and keep things either in neutral or drive. Because if you go into reverse you will most likely get frustrated with yourself and be tempted to permanently detour as I had done many, many times before.

What strategies do you use to prepare for the possibility of a long trip? How do you stay positive when things aren’t going the speed you want them to?  Diane

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Filed Under: goal setting, obesity, Weight Loss Tagged With: , , ,
«Older Posts