I posted this on my Facebook page this week and thought it was so interesting that I wanted to bring it to the blog. The video is 3 minutes long.

In case you didn’t have time to watch it right now, the video features a forensic sketch artist who sketches women he cannot see based on two descriptions:

1) The first time he sketches them he is using their own descriptions of themselves.

2) The second time he sketches them he uses an acquaintance’s description (an acquaintance they just met).

In every case, the women being sketched describe themselves in relatively unflattering terms, whereas the acquaintance uses a more positive description.

When the woman being sketched sees the two resulting sketches, in each case, she actually looks much more like the sketch the acquaintance described rather than how she described herself.

I actually felt a bit emotional about this because it brought up a lot of feelings that I recognized when I was overweight and even today.

I think that we often have a hard time actually seeing what we look like and instead focus on all the negative things about our appearance. And for me, focusing on the negative things about my appearance often led me to judge my personality, my abilities, and even my worth to society in addition to my appearance. It just did.

Now, I know this video was from a corporation that ultimately wants to sell product, but I think we can take a lesson from this in terms of self-worth, self-appreciation, and self-love.

The weight loss process is rarely easy and as we talked about earlier, fraught with emotions. Emotional reasons for eating, emotions resulting from our obesity/overweight, emotions resulting from our perception of ourselves, etc.

We have so many messages from the media that make us feel inadequate no matter our weight. They often sound like this: You aren’t good enough, you aren’t thin enough, you don’t workout enough, you don’t dress well enough, you don’t wear the right kind of makeup, you don’t look beautiful.

I began my weight loss journey not from a position of acceptance with who I was, but instead from a position of frustration with myself on many, many levels. Although I was a normal weight as a child, I think those messages began very early. (This is me little!)

I think it would have been easier to lose weight before I tipped the scale at 300 pounds if I had been able to look at myself more objectively and do three things:

1) Acknowledge that I had some good physical characteristics, even if I was obese.

2) Acknowledge that I was worth the effort it took to lose weight.

3) Acknowledge that I was not defined by my weight.

That’s one of the things I took away from this video. We are so quick to judge ourselves that we sometimes find it difficult to make those changes necessary for our health and for our life. We define ourselves by one thing and sometimes get so hung up on that one thing that it paralyzes us.

What do you think? Does being critical of ourselves make it harder to lose weight, easier, or does it not matter? Diane

It is human nature to measure things isn’t it? From ancient times people measured fields, crop yield, and weights of precious metals. In the modern times we measure buildings, distances, cost, height, and even shoe size.

I believe that we should be taking measure regularly.

What kind of measurements am I talking about? Physical body measurements of course! They can tell us:

1. Where we started.

2. Where we are now.

3. Where we would like to be.

Body measurements other than height can quickly change. Your height remains basically the same once you reach adulthood, but your weight and body measurements change. Sometimes they move higher and higher as you gain weight, but for those of us on the journey to reaching a healthier weight, your measurements will soon be shifting on a downward trend.

I’m a human too, and I totally understand the uncomfortable feeling in wrapping a tape measure around yourself, but I believe that it is a vital step in analyzing your current situation and giving you a benchmark for future progress.

I’m embarrassed to this day to admit that my waist was larger than 50 inches, and my hips were so large that I couldn’t fit a standard 60 inch tape measure around them. I had to use a string and then go back and measure the string with a metal tape measure. It was a bad day, but the process was an important step.

I wrote down my measurements on a Post-It note and stuck the sticky square in the bottom of a drawer where no one else could ever find it. I was embarrassed at those enormous numbers.

As I lost weight, and began to see long-awaited changes. I occasionally took stock of where I was by using the tape measure.  It was particularly helpful when I was in the throes of a weight loss plateau. I found so much encouragement to compare my current measurements to that yellow Post-It note hidden in my drawer.

If you haven’t already done it, please, please, please measure yourself today and write down all the measurements you take. Include measurements for:

Waist – taken at natural waist

Hips – taken about 8 inches below your natural waist

Thighs – taken at upper thigh

Wrist – pretty self-explanatory

Chest – taken at widest part of chest

Upper Arm – taken at widest part

Whatever Else You Want to Measure!

As you lose weight, so many of your body measurements will change, and it is really encouraging and even fun to see those changes. I found that my waist size shrunk from in the 50 inch range to about 28.5 to 29 inches, and my hips are now under 40 inches. WooHoo!

Even if you are at a healthy weight your body measurements can change through dedicated exercise and good eating.

John used to ask me “Where did all the rest of you go Diane? What happened to all the extra you?”

I used to wave him away and say, “I have no idea.” But I did know one thing for certain. I was glad that excess fat was gone and I had no desire to ever see it again!

Have you taken your measurements lately or tracked them throughout this process? Is measuring yourself a good thing for you?  Diane

I am not a fashion plate, as evidenced by this candid shot of me taken last weekend picking pumpkins with the family. We didn’t actually pick pumpkins out of the field, but did pick them up off the ground. That counts, right?

Anyway, you can see that I had on a very large, very unflattering fleece that would have fit me if I weighed 100 pounds more than I do right now. The fact that I had my wallet in my pocket did not help the line of the fleece at all.

When I was very overweight, I had certain clothes that were more flattering than others. Notice in the picture on the left I look slimmer than I do in the picture on the right, even though the pictures were taken within a few months of each other.

No matter what your weight, I’d encourage you to not do as I often do, and wear whatever is comfortable, but to really think about comfort and fit. As a demonstration, I had my daughter take my picture in the same shirt and shoes but with different jeans on. The lighter colored jeans (in the first picture) are one of my favorites but even I have to admit they are not very flattering.

These darker jeans are the same size but a different cut and a different manufacturer. I think they make me look slimmer.

 It’s easy to automatically reach for clothes that are loose and cozy, but in all honesty, they don’t always flatter your body. I’m as guilty of it as the next person – just look back at that first picture.

One thing that I have learned over the course of my weight loss journey and beyond is the importance of finding clothes that make you look and feel good. They don’t have to cost a fortune either. As I was losing weight, I bought smaller sized clothing at Goodwill or garage sales. It took a little bit of hunting but purchasing a pair of smaller sized jeans or shirts that fit me properly instead of hanging off of me was rewarding and good for my psyche.

I’d encourage you to look at your wardrobe objectively and determine whether the pieces of clothing you have flatter you and make you feel good about yourself. I often find that when I feel good about my appearance I have more of a motivation to treat my body well. And in the interest of practicing what I preach, I’ve put my light colored jeans in the Goodwill donation box!

How about you? Are you a person who tries to dress to flatter your body or do you hide behind too big clothing? Diane

If you missed the post about criticism of other people’s weight loss efforts, be sure to check it out. Amazing discussion.

There was a time, long, long ago, where your camera did not have a little screen on the back, but rather had a compartment for film. Some of you may be too young to really remember this, but back then you had to take your film to be developed and wait for it to be developed. The “1-Hour Photo Developing Stores” were miraculous compared to how my mom had to wait for a week to get her pictures developed.

During my morbidly obese years, I’d be horrified whenever I picked up my photos from the film developer. Not horrified by seeing my adorable children on the photos, but horrified when I saw myself revealed on the small photograph. Time after time I’d glance at a picture of myself, stop cold in the act of shuffling the pictures, and literally gasp.

Who was that huge person in the picture? Me? Really?

I knew I was heavy, knew I had outgrown clothes in stores, but often times I had a very difficult time seeing what I looked like to other people.

“This is why I don’t get my picture taken,” I’d think to myself.  Then I’d blame John for taking my picture in the first place because he “knew” that I did not like to get my picture taken. Isn’t it interesting how I blamed John for taking my picture instead of blaming myself for what I had become?

Before I got home, I’d throw the pictures I did not like of myself in the trash bin of the car, trying to remember to clean out the bag before John did. I kept the important pictures like holidays or my birthday, but tossed a LOT of the other ones. That is probably why my “before” pictures are not posed shots but generally random shots of me when I wasn’t paying attention or had just relaxed my defenses.

Time after time I’d see pictures of myself, and stare in disbelief. Every single picture surprised me. This probably says something about my lack of self-perception, but it is how I felt. Surprised. There were certain pictures that were worse than others, like this one:

When I saw this picture of myself, I loved the baby but hated myself.

These days, it is much easier to just press “delete, delete, delete” on your digital camera to remove offending pictures or to just “delete” the pictures from your computer or phone. I’ve talked to a lot of overweight people who have confessed that they have deleted hundreds of photos from their lives because they did not like the way they looked in the picture. I think I would have loved a digital camera back then although that might have resulted in even fewer before pictures!

A lot of people find an unflattering photo of themselves and use it as the catalyst to get started losing weight. I wish I had been motivated by some of those really awful pictures of myself that I threw away throughout the years, but that was not what did it for me.  Rather than bad pictures spurring me to action, the pantry was my solace.

I wish I had been more confident in myself, and been able to appreciate all the good things I had to offer my family without so often wrapping it up in my appearance. But I wasn’t there yet. I still tied my self-worth up with my appearance, and that wasn’t good for me in the long run.

The woman in my pictures wasn’t the woman I wanted to be – either appearance wise, or confidence wise. How I long to have those obese years back, and really take the time to appreciate every single good moment I had with my family, instead of experiencing so much self-loathing and unhappiness.

What does your camera reveal about you? Can you go beyond the appearance and appreciate all the good things you have to offer the world? Can pictures of yourself start spurring you into action, getting healthier and more fit, and more able to make a positive impact on your world? What do you think? Diane

If you’ve read my blog, you might remember the blog post where I shared that my supposed best friend was not at all happy when I was losing weight.

One of the many ways she expressed her displeasure at my rapidly changing appearance was a snide remark she made when she saw this picture taped to the refrigerator in my kitchen.

She said, “What’s that picture doing there?”

I said something like, “It’s my inspiration picture.”

She said, “You don’t think you can be that size again, do you?”

I remember standing in my kitchen looking at her dumbfounded. Finally I said, “Well, I’m certainly going to try.”

If you look at the picture, you can see where that it used to be in a frame. When my weight increased by almost 100 pounds during my first pregnancy, I decided to put the picture away. Before I took it out of its shiny gold frame, I held it in my hand and cried a little bit. I thought to myself, “Why had I let myself get so big and fat? Why? Why?” Surprisingly, instead of crumpling the picture up and throwing it in the trash, I put it in a drawer, sighing in resignation over the fact that I’d never look like that again. Or would I?

John asked me one time what had happened to the picture and I just shrugged as though I did not know. But the truth is that I put the picture away because I no longer looked like that, and whenever I saw that picture it reminded me of how much I had changed. Every so often throughout the years that I struggled with morbid obesity, I’d come across that picture when cleaning out a closet or a drawer.

When I finally got serious about losing weight I searched through all my bedroom drawers until I found that picture buried under some t-shirts that no longer fit me. I took the picture to the kitchen and taped it on the front of the refrigerator.

I decided it was my inspiration picture.

I knew I couldn’t look exactly like that picture again, but it served as a reminder of the old Diane who had gotten lost under the layers of fat and whose self esteem was in the toilet. Every time I saw that picture I was reminded of how healthy and fit I used to be. I was reminded that the old Diane wasn’t gone forever, she was just hiding behind layers of fat.

That picture filled me with hope.

The picture also helped me when I felt weak and wanted to eat something that I really didn’t need. After all, the refrigerator held the makings for sugar cookies and the pantry was right next to the refrigerator!

The picture did not defeat me. Instead, it inspired me to look and feel the best that I could. It inspired me to keep walking every morning and to keep making healthy food choices.

It still inspires me to maintain my 150 pound weight loss.

I’d like to put a challenge out there for you.

Find something that inspires you and post it on your blog or display it somewhere in your house. It doesn’t have to be a picture. It can be an old sports trophy, an item of clothing, or even a letter from someone you love.

When days get tough you can look at your inspiration item and find encouragement and motivation to continue on your path.

Do you already have an inspiration picture or can you see where this might be a good thing?  Diane

Did you miss my post on learning about probiotics?

These were the only items of clothing I kept as I lost weight.

If you were to invite me into your home and I took a peek into your closet, how many sets of clothing would I find?

Do you have “fits now” clothing, “may fit someday”,” and “used to fit before I lost weight” clothing items? If you do have three sets of clothing in your closet I can think of a few reasons why right off the top of my head.

1. You hate to give away or throw clothes away

2. You are a saver.

I was a saver. As my weight increased after I got married I understandably outgrew most of my clothes. After I had been married a few years, I sadly realized that I couldn’t zip up my suit skirts, button my jeans, or even tug on some of my dresses.

Interestingly, although the space I had in my closet did not change, but my closet got more and more full. You see, as my weight increased dramatically, I found myself unwilling to give up my smaller sizes clothes. So as I bought new clothes that fit my larger frame, I just moved the small pants and skirts over to the side. Then as I gained more weight I continued to repeat the process.

It was getting really crowded in that small closet. Does this scenario sound familiar to you?

After being obese for about 5 years , from about 1987 to 1992, even I had to admit to myself that even if I could ever squeeze into that size 10 suit again, it was so out of date and out of fashion that I probably wouldn’t wear it ever again.

It took me until about 1995 to weed through my closet. I know this sounds crazy, but I still wasn’t quite able to part with all of those smaller sized clothes. There were some that I just had an emotional attachment to and could not seem to get rid of. Well, I reasoned, at least I had pared down the number of clothes that did not fit me, even if I did not get rid of all of them.

When my weight loss strategy finally started being successful, I made a difficult decision. I committed to myself that as I outgrew clothes I was going to ditch them. I understood that as I lost weight, if I knew there were still bigger clothes in the closet my “just in case,” wardrobe, I might be tempted to not pay attention to my weight as closely because I knew I still had clothes that would fit even if I gained weight.

It was hard for me to get rid of that safety net.

When I had lost weight in the past, and had some success, I never got rid of any item of clothing, and sadly, when I inevitably gained back those pounds I had lost, there my size 28 dresses were hanging – just waiting for me.

As I went from a size 28 to 24, I gave away the bigger clothes, and bought a few things (second hand) in the new size. I continued this practice as I lost weight. There were times when my clothes were so loose that John was begging me to buy just a few outfits to “tide me over.” It was both a freeing and a frightening feeling to take the bigger clothes to Goodwill. It was freeing that I was releasing myself from that size, and frightening to know I didn’t have a safety net anymore.

Psychologically; however, it was invaluable. I was not only shedding physical weight, but I was moving forward emotionally. By shedding myself of the “fat Diane” clothes, I was helping shed my internal self-image of myself as an obese woman. When I reached my goal weight and size, I was able to look in the closet and see clothes that fit, clothes I liked, and clothes that didn’t carry any negative stigmas.

I want to encourage you to look in your closet today. Do you have old clothes that you need to pass on? Have you lost weight and are afraid to get rid of the bigger clothes? Is your closet just plain overfull? If so, use this weekend to shed some clothing pounds and move forward with your goals.

How are you at getting rid of old clothes that no longer fit? Can you see the benefits? Diane