It’s spring and here in the south the weather is getting hotter by the day. It’s the time of year when I do a lot of spring cleaning, which I dislike a lot! Necessary but not so much fun. One thing that I do when I spring clean is switch out the children’s clothes from winter to summer ones. People ask me how in the world I do it with so many kids, but it really isn’t that hard – just time consuming. We have a really large closet in our rec room which houses all the boys clothes in various sizes. I hang all the shirts in size order and have the pants/shorts/pajamas in bins. Then we just do a switcheroo, with the boys trying on clothes so we can see what size they are. And in a few hours, it’s done. In case you are curious, here’s a picture of the boys closet!

My clothes all fit in one closet so I don’t have to change anything around – just switch from the winter side to the summer side. In switching around clothes I thought about how my fashion sense changed after I lost weight. Before I gained all my weight I enjoyed shopping and wore fairly trendy teenage clothes. When I started gaining weight I stopped tucking in clothes and began buying oversized shirts which I hoped hid things that were growing. They did not. Here’s a picture of me my second year of marriage. I had gained about 30 pounds. The top I was wearing wasn’t flattering, but it was loose and I felt like it hid my weight gain. Which I now see it did not.

When I went from merely overweight to morbidly obese I started wearing clothes like this. These jumpers accommodated my growing girth and it didn’t really matter if I gained another 10 pounds because the clothes seemed to fit the same.

As I lost some weight (finally) I started buying cuter clothes. This outfit was one of the first ones I wore that made me feel stylish.

 And as I lost more and more weight I cared more and more about the clothes I wore. I stopped buying knit pants with elastic waistbands and instead bought pants with a waistband and a zipper. How novel!

To this day, other than my workout pants I don’t own a single pair of pants or any skirt that has an elastic waist. All my clothes have fitted waistbands. I didn’t know Dr. Oz at the time, but that is one of his 10 commandments. In fact, it’s number one. Don’t wear stretchy pants! I agree with him, because stretchy pants are very easy to wear and it can be very hard to tell if your waist is getting bigger!

Question: How do you feel about your clothing style as you’ve lost weight? Has it changed, and will you wear elastic waist pants ever again?  Diane

• Good for them
• I wish I could do that
• Wow, they are fast
• I wonder how far they go?

You know what I thought when I saw a jogger?  I thought, “Go home.  Get a life.  What a waste of time.”  It’s true.  I hated to see people exercising.  I just couldn’t imagine that running down the road was the least bit fun.  After all, who voluntarily sweats, gets out of breath and doesn’t look so great doing it? I was judging them and being jealous for their fitness.  I wanted everyone to be like me so I wouldn’t feel out of place or inadequate.  It’s not a confession I make willingly, but it’s the truth.  It’s how I felt. 

The first day of my weight loss plan, over twelve years ago, I knew I needed to move my body.  I knew I was fat.  I knew I didn’t own a pair of shorts.  I understood it wouldn’t be easy.  But I also had enough knowledge about weight loss that I understood exercise was a vital part of any weight loss plan.  So I started that first day, walking 10 minutes from my house, and 10 minutes back.  I didn’t get far, probably 10 or 15 houses away, and we are talking small lots and small houses.  But I did it, and I was proud when I returned.

Over the months that followed, I went farther and got faster.  In my mind, I told myself that when I got to be under 200 pounds I wanted to try and jog a little bit.  The day I reached 199 was in the fall.  I got up, weighed myself and decided I was going to jog a bit.  I put on my exercise clothes set off down the road.  I walked for a while, and decided to try jogging from one mailbox to the next one.  I started jogging and thought everything was going to fall apart.  Everything jiggled and moved independently of each other, but I kept going.  When I reached the next mailbox, I gladly stopped.  I did this occasionally during that first walk, not trying to push myself, but just to see if I could do it. 

October, November and December passed with me continuing to increase my jogging distance and the quickness of my pace.  In December I told John I wanted to sign up for a 5K.  He looked at me like I had lost my mind.  Why in the world would you want to run 3.2 miles?  I explained it was a goal, and I thought it would be fun.  “Fun?” he said?  But he was encouraging, and said, “Go for it.”  So I signed up for a charity 5K race to be held in March.  I practiced and trained, using a book I had checked out from the library. 

March rolled around and I couldn’t wait to go.  John and all the kids came to cheer me on.  I felt like a completely different woman standing among all the other runners.  No one looked at me and wondered if I’d make it.  No one even noticed me.  I was just one of the pack.  The race started, and I began jogging along at my slowish pace.  I didn’t stop running until I hit the finish line.  I was no where near the front of the pack, and not really even in the middle.  But I didn’t finish last and I finished proud.  It was one moment that I’ll never forget.   

Is there a fitness goal that you’ve achieved lately?  Diane

I returned from the trip to New York two days later than expected due to the huge blizzard in New York City. I got home at 2:20 on Friday morning exhausted but really happy I had the opportunity to go. The trip started out a day earlier than planned.

On Monday morning it began snowing at the airport I needed to fly out of. We live about 1 1/2 hours from there, so I began to get concerned about whether or not I’d be able to get to there on Tuesday morning, because believe it or not, there aren’t that many snow plows around here! So John and I drove to down there on Monday afternoon in some very scary weather conditions and I stayed in a hotel. The next morning I barely made my flight as the hotel shuttle was waaaay slow and late leaving the hotel. Lesson learned there.

I arrived in New York City at 12:30 and was met by a limo driver who was holding a sign with my name on it. My friend Evelyn met me there and took our picture!

We arrived at the hotel and unpacked. The Hilton was just a few blocks away from Times Square so after walking to the Dr. Oz studio for a voice-over and a coaching session from one of the producers, my friend and I went to Times Square, had dinner at a New York deli, and saw Phantom of the Opera. It was pretty fabulous.

The next morning, the show sent a bus to pick up all the show participants. There I got to meet Sarah, Lori, and Ann. I didn’t see Dawn until later, but never got a chance to meet her. I was sad. I also met Janelle. It was neat to meet people in real life that I already felt like I knew but hadn’t actually met! Once we arrived at the studio the whirlwind began.

I met Bill, Taisha, and Meryl – all of whom were going to featured on the show. Like Lori said in her post, they could have picked anyone of the “Oz 100″ to feature because everyone had a fabulous story. Bill lost 175 pounds and has maintained for a year, Taisha lost 130 pounds and maintained a year, and of course me. Meryl lost 175 pounds and has maintained a little less than a year. It was amazing to meet all of them. Here’s a picture of  Bill, Taisha, and me. Not the best picture I’ve ever taken.

After we met and were briefed by the producer, they took us onto the Dr. Oz set for a walk through. It was very exciting to be behind the scenes and then walk onto the stage. It was FREEZING in there! They told us what tape mark to land on, what camera to look at, and where to sit. I asked the camera guy, “What if we mess up – do we get a do-over?” He just looked at me like, “You will not mess up!”  So I tried my best! We weren’t allowed to take pictures in the studio, but if you’ve seen the show it looks just like that – only smaller.

Once we knew what we were doing they took us to hair and makeup. I have never seen so much makeup in one place in my entire life. Melanie, in the first picture did my hair, and Gil, in the second picture, did my makeup. He said I was scheduled for the “full face.” I soon found out that that meant a LOT of makeup – false eyelashes and all. Here’s me getting my hair and makeup done. I felt like a movie star, but was glad I didn’t have to have that much makeup on every day! (That’s my friend Evelyn in the pink!)

  After hair and makeup were complete we all got on our fancy clothes. The producers liked my dress and boots but I had forgotten a necklace. One magically appeared and here’s a funny thing. It was a beaded necklace, so the sound person pinned it right to my dress so it wouldn’t move and mess up the microphone that she had painstakingly taped on me! I think she used about 20 tiny pins. Tricks of the trade I suppose. Then, hair and makeup done, it was show time.

As we were standing backstage waiting to go on, we could see on the monitor what was happening on stage. We saw Dr. Oz give the welcome and for the first time I saw all the amazing people who, like myself, had lost 100 pounds or more. It was very moving. I thought, “Every one of these people has changed their life for the better.” I knew not to cry because I might have lost my eyelashes, but I had to fight back tears.

Finally, the stage director person said, “Diane – step up here. It’s almost your turn.” Then the doors opened and I went on the stage. It was an experience like I’ve never had. I felt a variety of emotions, from excitement to humbleness that I was there. Then I turned, shook Dr. Oz’s hand and sat down in the stool. Then Bill and Taisha came out. How fun! Dr. Oz asked each of us a few questions and then we got to share some of our favorite weight loss secrets. It went by so fast.

The next segments were Meryl, Richard Simmons (very fun), and the segment where he takes questions and has an audience volunteer. To see all the work that went into taping an hour show was amazing. But it seemed like everything just ran like clockwork. Then they had as many of us that could fit on the stage come back on and do a dance segment with Richard Simmons and Dr. Oz leading! It was a blast.

After the show, I got to meet Richard Simmons and have my picture taken with him. Here you can see how much makeup I had on. Richard in real life is exactly like you see him on television. He cries, he laughs, he sings! Dr. Oz was very nice and I liked that he is so sincere and caring. You can tell that helping people get healthy through maintaining a healthy body weight is a passion of his.

So there you have my New York experience. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and one I’ll never ever forget. If you want to see more pictures, you can check out the New York trip photo gallery. Thank you for all your well wishes and safe traveling thoughts. The whole time I was there I thought - ”I can’t wait to tell my blogging friends about this experience!”   Diane

Miss Sea World (kinda)

I originally told this story way back last March when no one knew about my blog. Everytime I come across this picture it makes me happy, so I thought I’d share the story with you who probably missed it. . .

It was extremely difficult to gain weight. Not the gaining weight part – that was easy. But it was hard to go from overweight, to obese, to morbidly obese. I felt judged.  I was ridiculed.  I endured humiliation.  At 300 pounds, physical activity was very difficult for me.  Simple things were impossible to do, and I lived in a virtual prison of my own making.

BUT, once I started losing a substantial amount of weight, the change in my attitude and the attitude of those around me were very encouraging.  Sometimes though, I secretly worried that no matter how much weight I lost, some people would still perceive me as fat.

After I had lost about 110 pounds, my mom and the rest of my family went to visit Sea World.  We loaded everyone and everything in the van and drove to Orlando.  What a difference those 110 pounds made in my energy level.  Instead of lumbering through the park with a fake smile pasted on my face, I enthusiastically walked from show to show, and exhibit to exhibit.  At times it felt as though my family had to hurry to keep up with me, instead of vice versa.  It was turning out to be a great day.

The highlight of the day came as we sat in the big arena to watch the killer whale show.  As we were waiting for the show to begin, we watched the beautiful killer whales swim around the large pool.  They were amazing.  Imagine my surprise when one of the Sea World employees came up to my family, walked over to ME, and asked me if I’d like to be the trainer’s “helper” for the show.  Very calmly I said, “Sure.”  However in my mind, I was screaming, “ME, ME?”   You see, I knew that if I had weighed 300 pounds, he would NOT have selected me to be the helper.  As a Floridian, I had been to amusement parks countless times and had never seen a morbidly obese person asked to “assist the trainer.” 

It was a wonderful experience to have the female killer whale trainer point to me, and ask me to come down.  I walked down the stairs and greeted her.  I stood in front of the huge audience, did what she asked, and had my picture put up on the gigantic screen.  As I stood there I wanted to cry and laugh at the same time.  I realized that people didn’t see my as obese anymore.  I realized that I had passed moved through obesity and survived.  All the hard work and dedication were paying off, and I was proud.

I remember looking over at John and the children.  The girls were waving and bouncing in their seats, and the smile on John’s face was a memory I’ll always carry.  When my little part in the show was over, I sat back down.  John put his arm around me and said, “That was one memory I’ll never forget.”  I leaned into him and said, “Me neither.”  For the rest of the day, as I walked around the park, people who had been at that show would say, “There’s the girl who got to pet Shamu.”  I would think to myself, “Yes, and here’s the woman who will never go back to being fat again.”   

Over and over again throughout the years since losing my weight I’ve seen dreams realized that I probably would have thought out of reach as an obese woman. And that’s my fault – because my confidence level was around my ankles rather than bursting through the ceiling. Nevertheless, those experiences and dreams are some of the things that kept me going in pursuit of long-term health and fitness.

Where are you today? Are there experiences you’d like to have or dreams that haven’t been realized?  Weight loss certainly isn’t a magic cure. But losing weight improved my health and gave me energy to try things I never would have attempted before. Thanks for sharing my story!  Diane

A lot of sad things happened as I went from an average size 10 young woman to a morbidly obese “Oh no, nothing in this store fits me at all,” woman. Clothes became a tremendous problem, embarrassing moments happened by the boatload, and things I never gave a second thought to became a problem.

One such problem was my wedding rings. They were a size 6.5 and like everything else on my body, my fingers got bigger as my weight increased. At first the rings were just a tad tight. You’ve seen people with rings like this. It looks like the rings are sitting between two pillows. That’s how mine got. Then one day, as I was looking at my hand, I got concerned that I couldn’t get the rings off anymore.

So I pulled, and tugged to no avail. I remembered that cold shrinks things so I stuck my hand in ice water and then slathered lotion all over my finger. Imagine my relief when I was able to extract my finger from the too tight ring. My knuckle was bright red and painful for the next hour. I remember looking at those rings with extreme sadness. “I’ll never be able to wear them again,” I thought.

Fortunately, at some point I had been given a deceased relative’s wedding band. Oh, did I mention that the deceased relative was a MAN? Yes, I had a vintage gold band that was enormous – or at least looked enormous when compared to my original wedding band. I was actually glad that I had that back-up band to wear and it fit my fat finger perfectly.

So for about 8 years I wore that band, forgoing the wearing of my original wedding ring set. Why didn’t I just have my set re-sized? Well, two reasons. First, the size difference was so great it would have been difficult and expensive, and secondly, I held onto the original sized rings because I had a slight hope that I might actually be able to wear them again.

As I lost weight a lot of physical changes took place throughout my body. And one of them was that my fingers shrunk back down to size. You can probably imagine my happiness when the big, huge, thick wedding band I had been wearing became too big and finally started falling off my finger. I was thrilled to finally be able to wear my wedding set. And believe me, I had tried it on many, many times during my weight loss year!

Rings are a little thing to be sure – but I’ve held onto that gigantic wedding band as a reminder of how far I came, and where I never want to return. Do you have any jewelry related non-scale victories? Or is there a particular item you can’t wait to wear?

Here’s a few of them:

March 2009 – I started this website and blog.

May 2009 – My oldest daughter graduated from high school

June 2009 – My son was finally potty trained

June 2009 - We got through tornado season without me losing my mind

July 2009 - We managed to go on a family vacation which is no easy feat with seven kids

August 2009 - I realized I had a college student, a high school student, a middle school student, two elementary school students, a preschooler, and a toddler all at one time! (That was actually a scary revelation.)

October 2009 – Had six kids who got the Swine Flu and recovered, thank the Lord.

November 2009 – Got to go to Dallas with Frito-Lay.

November 2009 – Ran a 5K

December 2009 – Managed to get Christmas done with minimal stress.

Sure, there were lots of other exciting things that happened along the way, but these were some that stuck out for me as I was writing this post.

One thing that makes me really excited is to realize how quickly things can change from one year to the next. Like I said in my video post last week, you can be in an entirely different place next year. In fact, someone emailed me after that post and asked if I’d put up a one year to the other picture side by side for them to see. I thought it was a great question, so here are the pictures from one Christmas to the next.

Isn’t it neat to see what a difference a year can make in our lives? I never would have dreamed at that fat Christmas that I’d have run a 5K and lost so much weight in a year, but I did. If you had asked me what I wanted to accomplish that next year, losing weight would have been on my list, but I don’t think I would have believed I would actually do it.

As you approach 2010, I hope that you are filled with excitement and anticipation over what life has to offer you. Perhaps you will be surprised to see what changes will come into your life over the next year. And perhaps you will have your own story in pictures to tell.

Is there something in particular that you are looking forward to in 2010?  Diane

If you give me a cookie, then my size 10 pants won’t fit and I’ll need new ones in size 16.

And once I outgrow those pants I’m going to have to start making some really sad looking jumpers.

 I’ll live in those jumpers for a while, but in the meantime my self esteem sinks lower and lower.

 Until one day, while standing on my doctor’s scale, I realize I’ve got to clean up my life and get healthy and quit putting bows on my head.

So I start walking, and little by little I feel stronger, more confident and healthier.

 Until the day arrived and I said, “I’m done.” And I’ve been done for 12 years now. Not with eating cookies of course, but with losing weight.

And then just like the story of the little mouse who wanted a cookie, I might still have a cookie every now and then, but I never have so many that I have to repeat the book’s lessons over and over again.

Just think – once you get stronger, healthier, and more fit – you will never have to let cookies or choices pull you down. You can have your cookies (occasionally) and love life at the same time! What’s your story?  Diane

The perception seems to be:

• It is cheaper to eat already prepared foods
• Take out and take home foods are faster
• It is less stressful to eat something prepared by someone else
• It’s too much work to plan ahead

Do you think these perceptions are new because of the economic downturn or do you think they have always been around?  I’m not sure, but I think these perceptions grew stronger as it got easier and easier to find food for a dollar or two. What’s changed in the last 10 – 20  years? Well, certainly the abundance of fast food restaurants has changed. As has the number and variety of quick serve restaurants and casual dining establishments. Even our grocery stores have gotten in on the take home/take out act. Now you can buy an entire meal for under $10.00. Some of the offerings are healthy, but many are not.

Yes, the economy has changed over the last 2 to 3 years, but this trend in obesity has been in the making long before then. Even while the economy was booming our waistlines were rapidly increasing. Is it the marketing of fattening food? Is it our own perception of value?

I often wonder why people turn to easy to eat and prepare foods to the detriment of their own health. And when I say “people,” I’m including myself, because I was at the head of the line! It seems illogical, but on some level high fat, high calorie foods seemed to make me feel better, when in fact, those foods are a huge factor in obesity, diabetes, heart disease, cancers, etc. Even though I had that knowledge in my head, I still couldn’t see it. I couldn’t seem to stop.

Even when John and I had some extremely lean financial years, I still brought food home or ate fast food several times a week. I didn’t see, or didn’t want to admit, the connection between my own weight issues and my choices. The food made me feel good temporarily. The $2.99 value meals seemed to fit within my limited food budget – but what did I really get for my money? And what are the people who are now turning to those “fast” choices getting? They are typically getting food that is heavily processed, unhealthily prepared, and offers limited nutritional value.

Just for fun, I compared a $4.99 breakfast meal (for one person) in a restaurant to a breakfast I made for the kids yesterday morning. I made whole wheat pancakes and a side of fruit for seven children. The total cost? $2.70 not including the syrup. So the perception that the quick foods are cheaper isn’t always true. I can make quesadillas, black beans, and vegetables for my whole family for under $8.00 total. And we’ve had a quick, easy to prepare, nutritious meal that leaves us satisfied. It not only leaves us satisfied, but often leaves enough for John to take for lunch the next day.

In my humble opinion, we’ve been sold a bill of goods. There are very few quick food meals that are cheaper to buy than to make at home. And maybe even more important, very few of those meals are as healthy as ones we can make at home. Why the disconnect between perception and reality? Or do you think there isn’t a disconnect, and it really is the economy? What are your ideas on how we can educate the general population. I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas. Diane

Getting left behind at one of those events made me so sad that I had to go to the car and have a little cry.

The season was fall. It was Florida so I can’t really say that the leaves were turning on the trees, but at least it wasn’t 90 degrees right then. The class decided that it would be a lot of fun to go to a church member’s farm and have a cookout and a hayride. My fat person antenne immediately went up. Hayride. I didn’t do hayrides. It wasn’t that I was allergic to the hay, or afraid I’d fall out. No, I knew I wouldn’t be able to haul my 300 pound self up into the wagon. No stinkin’ way.

So I tried everything I could to get out of going. I made up scary scenarios. I tried convincing John to go out of town. I said I didn’t have the right clothes (this was true.) But no go. The girls were thrilled to go on a hayride and cook hotdogs over the fire and mom was going with them.

So off we went. It was just as I expected. Unfcomfortable standing around trying to look like I wasn’t about ready to crush the hay bale I was sitting on. Laughing as yet another marshmallow fell into the fire, saying, “Well, I probably didn’t need that smore anyway.” But the worst part came when everyone piled into the wagon and left me standing there holding up the fence post. I volunteered to stay behind and clean up a bit because I really “didn’t like the smell of hay.”

John and my friends looked at me when I uttered those words. They must have known the truth but thankfully no one said anything. The wagon left me behind and I had to flee to the car to have a little cry. Once I fixed my make-up and got back to the cookout site I ate three bars of chocolate that someone had left sitting on a bale of hay. I was so sad.

Fast forward 3 years. Same scenario with one big difference. I had gone from 300 pounds to about 180 pounds. I had lost a whole person and couldn’t wait for the fall hayride and cookout. This time there was no stopping me. I was going to go on that hayride.

The wagon pulled up and I hopped up the high step with ease. I held onto the girls and our whole family enjoyed riding around the man’s farm. I felt like a new person. I had cute clothes on. I felt svelte. I felt energetic. I felt alive.

It may sound like a trite experience to those of you who haven’t experienced extreme obesity, but believe me it wasn’t. Even though that hayride was a long time ago, it was one of those non-scale victories I’ll never, ever forget.

Have you had a good non-scale victory lately? Sometimes those non-scale victories are sweeter than the scale variety. They last longer and are indelibly seared on our memories.  Diane

By 1995, my weight commonly fluctuated between 275 and 305 pounds. Our bathroom scale didn’t go past 300 pounds, so one time when I was in the grocery store late at night I stood on the big scale they had in the lobby. I jumped on, saw 305, and jumped off, praying to God that no one saw me. I laugh now because even if anyone had seen me they wouldn’t have been surprised to see the big dial on the scale swing around to 305. I was gigantic. 

Sadly, weighing over 200 pounds had become part of my soul, my being, and I hated it. Yet in many ways I felt powerless to stop eating. Fortunately, in 1997, something in my head clicked. After leaving my doctor’s office I cried, prayed, and knew I had to change. That’s when my journey began.

Every pound lost was a victory. Seeing 250 on the scale made me so happy that I could have eaten an entire cheesecake (but I didn’t.) As the number inched down, I began to get more and more excited to reach 199. It seemed to take forever. Finally I was in the plain old 200’s. 209, 208, 207. . . .  I almost couldn’t stand myself. My clothes were hanging on me. My self esteem was improving. I was feeling in control. But I still weighed over 200 pounds.

Finally, about ten months after I started changing my life, it happened.

199

I rushed into the bedroom and woke up John. (Did I mention it was 6:00 a.m.?) I whispered excitedly, “I weigh 199. Isn’t that great? I weigh 199. HEY, are you awake?!” He was awake and he was so happy for me. It’s truly a day I will never forget. It’s one of those scale milestones that was important to me.

Some people say, “Don’t worry about the weight.” But for me, I knew that I shouldn’t be weighing over 200 pounds. I wasn’t a linebacker or a man. I was a woman and not 6′5″ tall. I should weigh under 200 pounds. And I finally did.

From that point on there was no stopping me. I kept on exercising, kept eating good food, and kept losing weight. Best of all my self esteem improved, I felt stronger, and others around me were positively influenced by my enthusiasm.  I know this is a Scale Victory. But it wasn’t my only victory along the way. There were many victories, both of the scale variety and of the non-scale variety. And they were all sweet.

Have you had a victory during your journey that made you want to jump up and down? Is there a goal in your mind that will cause you to wake up your spouse or best friend to tell them about what you have accomplished? I would love for you to share.  Diane