My reasoning was that I was so big anyway, that there was no way I’d ever be able to lose 150 pounds, so I might as well enjoy all the food I desired. I did feel guilty sometimes after I ate “bad” foods all day long , but the guilt wasn’t enough to stop me from eating those foods. When I was writing this post, part of me wanted to say no food is “bad, because I do believe in moderation. But even within moderation, there are quite a few foods I do not eat.

I think it would be interesting to see if there are foods on your “no” list. Here’s a few things, with my reasons for not eating them, that I don’t eat anymore.

Movie theatre popcorn – Did you know there are between 1000 and 1200 calories, and 60 grams of saturated fat in a large tub of movie popcorn? Not to mention the sodium. I just can’t do it! (Source: WebMd)

Chicken Pot Pie I don’t make – Marie Callendar’s chicken pot pie has 1040 calories and 24 grams of fat. Other brands are similiar, and restaurant pies are too.

Most canned soups – The sodium counts on most of these makes these a no on my list.

Beef and pork – I know there is nothing inherently wrong with these. It all started when I got ecoli food poisoning and was in the hospital for four days. I had eaten a restaurant hamburger that wasn’t completely done. That crossed beef off my list, and pork soon followed.

Soft drinks – I stopped drinking these a long time ago. The calories are high (240 for 20 oz), and most of the diet drinks have artifical sweeteners, which I try to avoid.

My list has changed over the years, but these are the foods currently on my ”bad” list. 

Do you have anything that’s a “no” for you?  Diane

I turned to John and said, “Hey, look at that weird sized chair. You don’t think that’s because so many people are overweight and they can’t fit into these chairs comfortably do you?” He looked at it and agreed with me. It was most likely for our new SuperSized Americans. There wasn’t just one of those chairs – they were interspersed among the waiting room.

Honestly, I don’t know what I think about this. Is this a sign that our hospitals are being more accomodating of us in general, or is it a sign that even hospitals have kind of “given up” on fighting the trend of our country’s growing girth?

Looking at those bigger than normal chairs brought up some sad feelings I had about myself when I was morbidly obese. I remember giving up on myself in terms of my clothing choices, my appearance and my food intake. I just quit trying and quit reaching for that seemingly elusive goal of getting to a healthy weight.  I tried to give up on myself and it wasn’t a good feeling.

It wasn’t a good feeling to see those chairs and think that parts of our society may be giving up and just accepting obesity as part of life. I know there is a difference between accommodating and giving up! I agree that airline seats are too small for most people, even people of an average weight. BUT, the hospital chair I was sitting in would have accommodated me at 300 pounds. It would have been tight but I could have fit.

And sitting in that tight chair in a hospital would have made me think again about my weight and that might have been a good thing. I know that every time I sat in a tight chair during my 10 year fight with obesity I thought about the fact that I really needed to do something about my weight. I’d look around and compare my fit in the chair with someone smaller and notice that their stomach didn’t stick out above the arms of the chair and that they had room around them.

I never felt that the chairs should have been bigger. I felt I should have been smaller.

So where do you stand on this issue? Should hospitals add chairs big enough for one and a half people when they remodel? By the way, John and I tried to sit in that chair-thing together and we fit, but barely.

Yes, to accommodating chairs in a hospital, or just stick with the regular sized chairs and benches? Diane

My girls were small when I was morbidly obese and I belonged to a  Mother’s Group at our church. Time after time I was overlooked for heading up committees, taking on tasks, and of course I was never asked to be the greeter at the door. I often wonder if  part of that was due to the perception of obese people, or was part of that due to my own poor self image? During that time in my life I was teetering between 280 and 300 pounds, and honestly, felt quite badly about myself.  Every time someone asked another woman to handle something, I felt ashamed. Every time I tried to volunteer for a task, but was pushed aside, I felt demoralized. And each time people made side comments about my energy level, I shrank inside. I remember one time when we were organizing a field day for the children, that a friend said, “Diane, you probably don’t want to handle any of the games, so why don’t you just bake 3 dozen cookies?” I looked at her, smiled and said, “Sure, that sounds great.” But inside I was thinking, “I can handle ring toss with 5 year olds. I know I can.” But instead I baked 3 dozen cookies, at 18 of them, and had to bake 3 dozen more in order to have enough to bring to the field day.

I don’t think I was lazy. I worked hard at home, at my part-time job, and on my friendships. I kept up with the latest trends in decorating, knew what clothes were in style, even if I couldn’t wear them, and was well informed on world events. Other people didn’t see all the things I accomplished during the day. All they saw was almost 300 pounds lumbering in the door, overflowing chairs and catching her breath after climbing stairs. I guess I can’t blame them for their incorrect assumption. I wasn’t lazy, I just wasn’t energetic. I was often tired, but I did work hard.

Once I finally was successful at losing weight I was astonished at the difference in how people treated me, based solely on physical appearance. It was unbelievable. Whereas I was previously regulated to the “backroom” jobs, now I was constantly asked to serve on the board, give the opening prayer, introduce the speaker, etc. What changed? My appearance. I was the same person I had always been, just smaller. Undoubtedly, my self confidence level improved, but I would have done those things even as a heavy person, it was just that no one asked.

I learned something through all this. I learned never to judge people based on their outward appearance. It’s something I just don’t do anymore because I know how it feels to be on the judged side.

Do you think that there is a perception that overweight people are lazy? Diane

It’s spring and here in the south the weather is getting hotter by the day. It’s the time of year when I do a lot of spring cleaning, which I dislike a lot! Necessary but not so much fun. One thing that I do when I spring clean is switch out the children’s clothes from winter to summer ones. People ask me how in the world I do it with so many kids, but it really isn’t that hard – just time consuming. We have a really large closet in our rec room which houses all the boys clothes in various sizes. I hang all the shirts in size order and have the pants/shorts/pajamas in bins. Then we just do a switcheroo, with the boys trying on clothes so we can see what size they are. And in a few hours, it’s done. In case you are curious, here’s a picture of the boys closet!

My clothes all fit in one closet so I don’t have to change anything around – just switch from the winter side to the summer side. In switching around clothes I thought about how my fashion sense changed after I lost weight. Before I gained all my weight I enjoyed shopping and wore fairly trendy teenage clothes. When I started gaining weight I stopped tucking in clothes and began buying oversized shirts which I hoped hid things that were growing. They did not. Here’s a picture of me my second year of marriage. I had gained about 30 pounds. The top I was wearing wasn’t flattering, but it was loose and I felt like it hid my weight gain. Which I now see it did not.

When I went from merely overweight to morbidly obese I started wearing clothes like this. These jumpers accommodated my growing girth and it didn’t really matter if I gained another 10 pounds because the clothes seemed to fit the same.

As I lost some weight (finally) I started buying cuter clothes. This outfit was one of the first ones I wore that made me feel stylish.

 And as I lost more and more weight I cared more and more about the clothes I wore. I stopped buying knit pants with elastic waistbands and instead bought pants with a waistband and a zipper. How novel!

To this day, other than my workout pants I don’t own a single pair of pants or any skirt that has an elastic waist. All my clothes have fitted waistbands. I didn’t know Dr. Oz at the time, but that is one of his 10 commandments. In fact, it’s number one. Don’t wear stretchy pants! I agree with him, because stretchy pants are very easy to wear and it can be very hard to tell if your waist is getting bigger!

Question: How do you feel about your clothing style as you’ve lost weight? Has it changed, and will you wear elastic waist pants ever again?  Diane

This made me think of what examples I am passing to my children. I’m grateful I now model the benefits of a healthy lifestyle.  They will undoubtedly make their own choices as they grow and mature, but it is my hope they won’t have to live through the pain and shame I did.  Life as an obese woman was hard. Hard physically and emotionally.

When I was obese I felt a lot of internal guilt with regards to what kind of example I was setting for my family by allowing myself to be so overweight. Every time I wasn’t able to fully participate in an activity the kids were doing, or every time  I made an excuse to sit on the sidelines I felt guilty. I worried they would be embarrassed to be seen with me, or whether their friends would make fun of them for having a fat Mom. And on occasion their friends would ask my oldest, “Why is your mom so fat?”

It wasn’t as though I didn’t try to make a change. Time and time again I tried to lose the weight, get healthy and improve my physical fitness. Time and time again I failed. And every time I felt a fresh wave of guilt. I’d look at my young children effortlessly running around the yard and try to remember a time when I could move faster than a slow waddle. It had been so long since I was able to move freely – unencumbered by an extra 150 pounds. Over and over they’d ask me, “Mommy, watch me! Mommy come play!” I’d watch, but didn’t participate in their fun. I’d shout words of encouragement from across the yard, but stayed in my chair. It took too much effort to move around so I stayed down.

One definition for the word legacy is defined as: Something handed down from an ancestor or a predecessor or from the past.

I’m asked a lot how I have maintained my weight for so long. There are a lot of reasons, but one of them is the fact that I want to leave my children the legacy and memory of a mom who cared enough about herself to stay healthy for them. I didn’t want to leave them with the memory of a mom so paralyzed by guilt and fear that she ate herself into an early death.  Among other things, when my kids talk about me to other people I want them to be able to say, “She loves us fiercely, encourages us in everything we pursue, and cares enough about us to take care of herself.” My kids won’t always make the right choices in every area of their lives – who does? But it is my hope that my healthy example will always be with them in their hearts and in their minds as they grow and mature.

Question: What kind of words do you want your family members to say about you?  Diane

Last Friday my family and I took a trip to the zoo. I realized how sheltered my two year old is when during the entire one hour drive there he kept saying, “Animals – pantry – cookie?” Because, yes – we occasionally have animal cookies and he thought that’s where animals like giraffes and elephants lived – in the pantry. But enough two year old stories or I may bore you to tears!

Once we got there, we had a great time walking around and looking at all the animals. No matter how many times I see the monkeys flying around on their ropes, or the majesty of the elephants I’m amazed.

Two funny things happened that made me think of you – my blogging friends.

First we saw the hippos doing this:

And then we saw the monkey doing this:

I immediately thought of a blog post. The hippo lays or floats around most of the day – rarely moving except to eat. The monkey is in constant motion, and even seems to eat on the run.

I realized in my morbidly obese days that I was the hippo. I not only kinda had the shape of a hippo, but more importantly, I had the attitude of the hippo. I didn’t lounge in my pool, but rather on my couch. If something needed attending to I waited until I absolutely had to move to do it. I sat, rolled around, and ate.

Once I lost weight I was much more like the monkey. I got busy, and active, and looked for ways to move. And my body changed drastically. Not only did my appearance change, but my outlook on life changed as well.

I felt strong, I felt capable, I felt like I could do or try anything – and I did. The great thing was I didn’t just feel those things after I lost all 158 pounds, but rather I felt stronger and more capable even after I lost just a few pounds. It was an incredibly uplifting feeling! I never want to go back to being a hippo!

Have you had that feeling? How does it make you feel as you change from being less active to more?  Diane

Right now we don’t do organized sports, but I realized that my kids are extremely active without joining a sports team. And because we homeschool, they also don’t participate in P.E. in a school setting.

I thought it would be fun to share with you some of the things we do to stay active as a family and see what you do to model good behavior to the kids in your family – rather sons/daughters or other children you have regular contact with.

Here are some things my family does to stay active and fit:

• Greatly limit television and video games. In fact, we have movie night once a week and that’sall theTV for the four smallest boys. Video games are occasional and time limits are strictly enforced.
• Portray exercise in a positive light. I try to never complain about exercising, but rather tell them how much I like it. (Fortunately this is now true!)
• Don’t sit down when I can get up. I really try to not send the kids on errands around the house that I can do myself.
• Engage them in play. In our own yard, we play:
  • soccer
  • baseball
  • basketball
  • tag
  • scooter
  • ride bikes
  • I don’t always get out there with them, but there are enough times that I do that they realize I think those things are fun to do and activities I enjoy also.
• If it’s raining or cold outside, we relax the “no running in the house” rule and when the boys get going with a good game of Star Wars tag or just “Chase Your Brother Until He Can’t Run Anymore” I just try and tune it out. I find a nice cup of hot tea helps a bit.
• Nothing organized, but just get outside and use our imaginations! (Which is what they are doing in the picture above!)

This has all helped my kids stay active and at a healthy weight for their age and height. And of course, they don’t drink sodas ever or eat junk very often. That helps too!

What ideas do you have to keep kids active and fight the whole childhood obesity dilemma?  Diane

The third year of our marriage was going wonderfully and Christmas coming.  One day I showed him a picture of a white suit I really liked.  He said, “It’s nice.”  I forgot about the suit and Christmas came and went.  For Valentine’s Day we out-of-town relatives visiting, and John brought out a beautifully wrapped present and said, “I’ve had this and was waiting for Valentine’s Day to give it to you.”  I eagerly opened the package and was delighted to find the suit I had admired inside.  My delight quickly turned to concern when I noticed that the size of the suit was “10“.   Unbeknownst to him, I hadn’t worn a size 10 in over a year.  I could fudge sizes in shirts and sweaters, but a suit was a different story.  I held it up to myself and said, “Thank you.” 

Here’s where the big problem started.  He said, “Try it on.”  I shook my head, no.  He insisted, and I reluctantly headed into a different room to change clothes.

I stepped into the skirt and started to pull it up.  It wouldn’t go above my knees.  I tugged and checked to make sure the zipper was fully opened.  It was, and the skirt wasn’t budging.  From the living room I heard them call, “Are you ready?”  Ready?!  Not quite.  I stepped back out of the skirt and tried to put it on over my head.  After all, it was a slim skirt.  I tugged and pulled, yanked and wiggled until I had it partially on.  I yanked the skirt hem down until it was kind of in the right place.  There would be no buttoning the skirt as it was about 4 inches too small.  The hips were so tight I could hardly walk. 

I put the jacket on as best as I could and pulled it down as far as possible.  I opened the door three inches and stuck my face out.  “It’s good,” I said.  They all chorused – “Let us see.”  I opened the door a bit further and stood in the doorway with my hands in front of my hips.  Without thinking, my husband said, “It looks a little tight.”  My relatives echoed his sentiment and I turned red from embarrassment.  I just laughed and said, “Oh, I’m sure it’s just cut small.”  But inside I was mortified.  Now everyone in the family knew I had gotten fat.

Later that night he apologized.  He told me he hadn’t realized I really didn’t want to try on the suit.  I finally admitted to him that I hadn’t worn a size 10 in some time and was sorry.  He said he didn’t care, but I cared.  I knew I was getting bigger and bigger but I couldn’t seem to do anything about it.  Now my problem was out in the open.  Instead of doing something about it, I began talking nonstop about my weight, looking for reassurance that I wasn’t really as big as I knew I was.  He was reassuring, but everytime he reassured me the words rang false.  I knew he was just being kind.  I didn’t look okay and I was quickly moving towards being embarassingly large. 

After this story took place, I gained another 100 pounds.  If I had just gotten things under control then my life would have been a lot easier.  And there would have been many less embarrassing clothing moments.

Ever had something like this happen to you?  Diane

I’ve flown on and off my whole life. I always enjoyed flying until I became an adult, and then all of a sudden it made me really, really nervous. I fly when I need to, but don’t love it like my husband does. Every time I fly I  grip the armrests willing the plane up in the air and then just as fervently willing it down again. Fortunately, every time I’ve flown it has been a safe flight. Unfortunately, it wasn’t always the most enjoyable flight.

I successfully avoided flying for a long time while I was obese. I had an opportunity or two to fly somewhere but always managed to get out of it. There was one time where I absolutely had to get on an airplane, so I did.

I had been morbidly obese long enough that I knew it wasn’t going to be a lot of fun sitting squished in a seat several sizes too small for several hours. I had already experienced the humiliation of breaking chairs, getting stuck in booths at restaurants, and getting winded just walking up a few steps to understand that my obesity was a huge problem.

Once I arrived at the airport that morning I went directly to my gate. I looked around at the other passengers and – as expected – I was by far the biggest person there. I felt like everyone was looking at me – secretly hoping they weren’t seated next to me. If I had been them I would have secretly been hoping the same thing. More and more people came to the gate and I heard the attendant announce that the flight was full. “Great,” I thought. “Now I will have to sit next to someone for sure.” And sure enough, a few minutes later there I was.

I was in the window seat, a medium largish man was next to me, and a skinny man was occupying the aisle seat, hanging onto his armrest for dear life. I wished I could just suck in my girth but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t make myself any smaller. I struggled with the seat belt after reassuring the flight attendant that I definitely did not need a seat belt extender. I really needed one, but with a lot of tugging I managed to get the belt buckled. I knew that belt wasn’t getting unbuckled until we reached our destination. I was afraid I might not get it fastened again.

The whole flight was exceedingly uncomfortable – both for me and my poor seat mates. Not surprisingly, neither one of them spoke to me during the flight. Fortunately, my flight home was better as I had a seat to myself.

I’ve read a lot of stories in the newspaper lately about Southwest Airlines requiring passengers as big as I was to purchase two seats. Having lived both sides of this situation I am torn on what is the right way to handle an obese passenger. I understand the airlines’ concern, but I also know that sometimes obese people need to fly and they can’t always afford two tickets. It’s a bad Catch-22.

What’s your take on airline flights? Have you ever felt uncomfortable on a flight, and do you think obese passengers should be required to purchase an extra ticket?  Diane

Last week I wrote about, and you commented wonderfully on Fat Acceptance. I thought it would be interesting to see what your thoughts are on another frequently discussed topic, and a question I am frequently asked.  That question is:

 ”Should you weigh everyday?

I, of course, don’t have the correct answer for this question because like so many other aspects of this weight loss journey I don’t think there is just one way to handle weighing regularly. However, I can tell you how I approached the scale at three different points on my journey.

When I was gaining weight with no end in sight I rarely weighed. If you will remember, I slowly put on the pounds during the first three years of my marriage, but the big jump came during my first pregnancy and the resulting 75 pound weight gain. After I gave birth to my first daughter I rarely weighed. I occasionally stood on the scale but got so depressed to see the numbers going up, up, and up that I just quit weighing. When I joined weight watchers or some other program I of course got weighed, but I never stayed on those programs very long.

During my final journey to lose weight I committed to myself to weigh everyday. I know – a lot of people disagree and that’s perfectly fine, but that’s what I did. I weighed everyday to check in on my progress. One thing I learned very quickly however, was that the scale won’t move down every day, or even every week. In fact, I became very attuned to the rhythms of my body when it came to losing weight. Certain times of the month were harder than others, and I understood that weight fluctuates. What I also learned was that what I was looking for was an overall downward trend, not just a straight line of loss. Weighing daily kept my accountable.

After I reached the point where I was happy with my weight I had to decide whether or not to continue with the daily weigh-ins. I decided to continue weighing daily and I’m glad I did. All these years later I still stand on the scale every morning. For me, it keeps me honest with myself. I give myself a 3 – 5 pound range to fluctuate within, and when I hit the “high” number, I immediately take action. I ramp up the exercise and watch the extra snacking that I may have allowed into my life.

There are studies that show that the benefits of weighing daily can be measured quantitatively. A study from the University of Minnesota found that adults who weighed themselves daily while trying to lose weight, lost 12 pounds in 2 years, whereas people who weighed themselves weekly lost six pounds.  The daily weighers also had less of a tendency to regain their weight.  I have found this to be true in teaching my weight loss classes over the years.  The people who weighed daily lost more weight on average during the class period then those who chose not to.  It is a personal choice, but if you are struggling with lack of progress, then considering weighing more frequently may help your long term success. (As long as you can accept those normal fluctuations!)

Where are you on the scale issue? Do you weigh every day, every week, or have you thrown the thing out the window and rely on other measures to measure your progress and keep you accountable? Diane